“Cross-dressing is not synonymous with being transgender” [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Macey

03-28-2019, 05:21 PM

Like so many other things in life, it's a spectrum. I think. Most of us eschew labels, yet we wear so many, father mother, friend, employee, and possibly many more. Words and language has it's limitations yet it is the tool we use to convey something about ourselves, the world around, and our place in it. "Crossdresser" is about as accurate a label for me as any other in the context of this group. "Transgender"? For myself, I doubt it … but that doesn't mean there isn't a strong feminine side within me. The full tale would be long in the telling, so for the convenience of friendly conversation you could say of me "Crossdresser" with enough confidence to render it in a 'thou art that' fashion.

Sure, there's so much more, and there's so much more for every person.

Are they synonymous? In our 'common' understanding of the words that is not so 'common', no … they are not synonymous. But neither are they always mutually exclusive.

Jodie_Lynn

03-28-2019, 05:24 PM

Based on the numbers of members here who simply enjoy crossdressing, I agree that it is NOT synonymous with transgenderism.
Some folk enjoy wearing the whole regalia. Some fixate on certain types of apparel and others on certain brands of certain apparel.
And still others are somewhere on the path of transition.

Just because someone finds pantyhose comfy, or gets an erotic thrill from them, does not mean they want to be (or are) women.

Princess Chantal

03-28-2019, 05:31 PM

Doesn’t matter if I define the two terms or not, the meanings will be debated upon. Hopefully the omittance of my definition of the terms would not ignite the fire as it seems to do when people do define the terms

Rachael Leigh

03-28-2019, 05:34 PM

I would say off hand no someone who just enjoys wearing ladies clothing for just pure enjoyment of getting dressed up is
not TG, by that it does not effect their lives in such ways where if they don’t do it for months their good and life goes on.
Me being non binary I’ve been accused of just being a CD and not on the TG spectrum. However for me I don’t just go to
work or out in the world wearing my ladies items and makeup because it makes me feel good nor do I think I could just stop for months and be ok. It’s just me it’s a part of me and at this point I don’t believe it’s going away

JenniferMBlack

03-28-2019, 05:41 PM

I believe the statement is true because there are some cross dressers who don't feel they are female and have no desire to be female or pass as such. As well there are some people out there who will wear the other fenders clothes and don't identify as even a CD just like the what they have.

Stephanie47

03-28-2019, 05:56 PM

Tracii G

03-28-2019, 06:01 PM

Can't wait to see how this thread turns out.

MarinaTwelve200

03-28-2019, 06:02 PM

Cross Dressing Is something SHARED by many different Psychological motivations. TG is simply ONE of them. Just as a Cough is a symptom shared by many different illnesses. We here have different psychological motivations and impulses, often not related---in which we share Crossdressing in common.--for difference reasons. So one "Explanation" does not fit all

AllieSF

03-28-2019, 06:36 PM

We members are on this forum and we represent a very similar cross section of humanity as I know here in the USA and from my travels and acquaintances from other countries and places. Therefore, we are similar in some aspects and very different in others as we compare each other. With all these differences in opinions, personalities and beliefs, we have some hot topics where we really discuss and argue our points of views. One perennial favorite to discuss and argue about is labels. Labels are short descriptors about something or someone that someone to quickly understand the topic of conversation.

The current definitions used on this site follow pretty much the WARPATH/medical definitions that "transgender" is the umbrella descriptor and all other definitions being subset to that. The reasons for definitions is to give a reasonable and logical starting place for those new to the terminology and for those that work with these definitions in the medical, legal and business world. Therefore, until better definitions come along I favor and use the term "transgender" as the umbrella definition. However, when out in the real world every day as myself, Allie - a trans woman, I use the term "trans" or "transgender" as my identifier because I believe that most of those real world people do not fully understand any of the terminology and assume that "trans" refers to a transsexual who is or has transitioned from one gender to another, and it works just fine. If someone has a more detailed question about those identifiers I go into as much detail as I think that they can take to get to the current medical definition, i.e. that I am a MtF "transsexual". The current common use of "transgender" by the general public is based on, in my opinion, the recent past few years where famous transgenders, Caitlyn Jenner, Laverne Fox and others, have been in the news so much that for the general public that describes everyone even if they are not "transsexual".

That was about the general public. Now, between us members here and with my trans friends I usually use the more detailed sub-definitions from occasional "crossdressers" to full time post-op "transsexuals". I do that because I like the definitions (I also know that they may change over time) and I believe that by using the site's definitions it can help over the long term to bring more cohesives threads and less bickering over definitions, which is usually the case when somehow labels get into a thread. When I use "transgender" I usually use "umbrella term" after it in my posts here. I do not do not argue that everyone should follow these definitions, because I know that we are a mixed bunch of people and we will discuss and argue those definitions.

These are the definitions I use and the why I use them. I hope that provides good input to what you want out of this thread.

carhill2mn

03-28-2019, 06:48 PM

I tend to agree with the statement. The word "synonymous" would be too strong when comparing cross-dressing to being transgendered. There are many aspects to being transgendered other than cross-dressing. Cross-dressing is sometimes put under the umbrella term of transgendered.

ReneeTD

03-28-2019, 06:56 PM

Semantically speaking, I'd say it's true. Crossdressing is done for a number of reasons, not all being related to inner gender expression. That said, I suspect that most crossdressing that occurs, is done for precisely that reason.

sometimes_miss

03-28-2019, 07:37 PM

Okay. Going by the rules set, I will simply explain that it all depends upon why you're crossdressing. If it's for a thrill with sexual excitement perhaps that's not 'transgender'. But if you have no idea why you want to dress as a female, then it probably IS transgender, as something subconsciously is pulling you towards dressing up as a woman. Thing is, it might be something else entirely. You might simply wish to avoid something that you associate with being male, and dress up as a female to avoid thinking about or acting on that. You'll see a lot of folks referring to that as the 'failed man' or 'failed woman' hypothesis, and automatically assigning that to all of us who crossdress, as each is simply using the temporary self assignment as the opposite sex to escape the role they don't want. While women can get away with this, men cannot, and both men and women tend to chastise us for doing so, assuming that we are just trying to escape our responsibilities. Why it seems that few ever say anything to girls who are tomboys, is that we just don't see it going on, as it's usually only during woman to woman discussions.

Crissy 107

03-28-2019, 07:59 PM

I agree cross dressing is not synonymous with being transgender but they are both on the same spectrum just different locations. How many times do we hear one of us that considers himself a cross dresser but it evolves into being transgender. I don’t think it is a big leap from one to the other.

Sara Jessica

03-28-2019, 08:10 PM

Cross dressing is something one does.

Transgender is something one is.

Danielle10

03-29-2019, 12:31 AM

Nice post, I like the concept!

So I see cd and transgender on same spectrum. Yet within each section of the spectrum there are levels or subsections that make up each section.
So in the cd section you have it’s own spectrum of fetish to being( wanting to dress act etc) and as well as on tg section has wanting to be to I am, and each subsection can cross with another for instance the cd who wants to dress act etc can end up moving to the tg section. And the tg person thinking they want to be can fall under the cd section.

So it’s a spectrum divided into sections with each section having its own sections or spectrums that can cross at any point.

Probably confusing but hopefully y’all get what I’m saying

Beverley Sims

03-29-2019, 02:18 AM

I think transgender is a more umbrella term used in modern language as was transvestite, years ago.

It is not false but there are some who are transgendered and were not diagnosed that way years ago.

Vickie_CDTV

03-29-2019, 02:53 AM

It would be better worded, “Cross-dressing is not synonymous with being transsexual", or “Cross-dressing is not synonymous with having gender dysphoria". Not everyone who dresses has issues with their birth gender.

I miss the days when we were the "TV/TS community". Life was simpler back then.

ellbee

03-29-2019, 03:18 AM

Everyday I enjoy reading the random page suggestions that Wikipedia offers up daily. Today it was the word “cross-dressing”. As I read it, the sentence that struck me as interesting was “Cross-dressing is not synonymous with being transgender.”

If you go to Wikipedia and read the preceding sentence...

"The term cross-dressing refers to an action or a behavior, without attributing or implying any specific causes or motives for that behavior."

[Bolded mine]

...Then where they're coming from starts to make a bit more sense.

Furthermore, the definition of the word "crossdressing" (from Merriam-Webster) "the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex", certainly helps to put things into context, as well.

Example? Okay, say a guy is away from home, perhaps at his sister's house or something. Something happens to the clothes he's wearing (his only readily-available clothes, mind you)... I dunno, got drenched in an unexpected downpour, tripped & fell in some mud, whatever. IOW, they're now currently unwearable in the state they're in. What's he gonna do, sit around naked for an hour or two, as his clothes are in the washer/dryer? Wrap a towel around himself? (For the sake of this argument, his sister lives alone, so he can't borrow his brother-in-law's clothes, or whoever's.)

Decent chance that his sister would just throw like an old pair of her yoga pants & a t-shirt at him, telling him to put it on. "Oh, just man up, already," she says, squelching his protest. "It's only for an hour or two. Jeez. :brolleyes:"

He complies, albeit grudgingly. And according to our friends at Merriam-Webster, he is now crossdressing.

Does this also mean he's transgender? Of course not.

Of course, feel free to switch the roles of the brother & sister. And she is now temporarily wearing *his* clean/dry clothes.

Once again, according to Merriam-Webster, she is also crossdressing. *GASP!* :confused3:

And does this mean she's transgender? Of course not.

I dunno, but sounds pretty cut-&-dry to me. :)

Ressie

03-29-2019, 05:04 AM

Since synonymous means having the same meaning I agree with that sentence. For starters, Crossdressing is a verb while transgender is an adjective.

Now, I see two different sets that can intersect but don't have to. One can be transgender without wearing clothes of the opposite sex. And one can also wear cloths of the opposite sex without being transgender. The two tend to go together but don't have to.

Rogina B

03-29-2019, 05:18 AM

Since synonymous means having the same meaning I agree with that sentence. For starters, Crossdressing is a verb while transgender is an adjective.

One can be transgender without wearing clothes of the opposite sex. And one can also wear cloths of the opposite sex without being transgender.

"Clothing normally associated with a different gender" may be a better way to put it...

alwayshave

03-29-2019, 07:05 AM

I don't think crossdressing is synonymous with being transgender. I'm a crossdresser. While crossdressing may be on the transgender spectrum, I don't feel that I was born the wrong gender such that I must change it. I am happy just periodically dressing.

Aunt Kelly

03-29-2019, 07:05 AM

Oh, gawd. Here we go again...
This thread has already gone off the rails because, all to commonly, people conflate opinion with fact. We are all entitled to our opinion, we are not entitled to our own facts.

Fact: The academic and professional communities who deal in transgender issues have, by and large, come to use "transgender" (no "ed") as an umbrella term to cover all of us. It's a lot easier to say than, "crossdressers, gender non-conforming, bigender, non-binary, gender fluid, transsexual, etc."
Fact: Some people choose not to follow the conventions established by those whose business it is to understand us.
Fact: The failure to agree upon a common lexicon often leads to confusion and misunderstanding.

Raychel

03-29-2019, 07:36 AM

Personally I don't feel that cross-dressing has anything at all to do with being transgender.
I like to wear women's clothes, But have no desire to be one. I have no desire to do the makeup and wear a wig.

I just like the appearance and feel of women's clothes.

So in my opinion and point of view. No real connection is there.
But every person is different, and for others there may be a huge connection
And who really cares, Wear what you like, what ever point you are on the spectrum.

GretchenM

03-29-2019, 07:38 AM

To me, "crossdressing" is an action or activity that is not necessarily attached to a motivator but often is. The boundary between, say, "just crossdressing" and "transgender" is a fuzzy one but transgender is caused by a self concept that allows or even demands a person to identify some of the time or all of the time with the opposite sex and that establishes a basic format that guides comfortable and compatible behavior. In a social context, this may cause a reversal in the traditional and stereotypical behavioral traits of a person of the opposite sex. Thus, the boundary between pure crossdressing and transgender crossdressing is rather indistinct. OK, that's a real mouthful.

Transgender does not require crossdressing but is a condition where the person feels that they are actually a member of the opposite sex even though they obviously are not anatomically of that sex. Why does it happen? Nobody really knows, but the scientists are hot on the trail. Fact is, the why doesn't really matter in a practical sense unless one is searching for a "cure." It would be nice to know and that is what science is seeking, but it is not necessary to know because if you are allowed to simply be who you are, irrespective of your position on the spectrum of behavioral patterns that forms what we call gender, cause is irrelesvant.

However, both trans and non-trans people can and do crossdress, but their motivations may be very different. Thus a male who crossdresses and still identifies as masculine/male, or the other way around as a female, is purely crossdressing. If it makes them feel like they are now a quasi-member of the opposite sex then that is dipping a little ways into the transgender pot of soup. Thus, a crossdresser may do that so it makes them feel that way. Is it satisfying something deeper? Perhaps, but it is also possible the act of crossdressing may not have anything to do with a shift in gender identity. It might be as simple as a physical comfort with fabric feel or some other non-gender related motivations.

On the other hand, a person who crossdressed because they are identifying with the characteristics of the opposite sex would be deep into the trans pot of soup. Their motivation is different from the other person even though the result is the same.

So, in my opinion, distinguishing between crossdresser and transgender comes down to a need to find out what the motivation is to crossdress. If the motivations are different even though the consequences in action are the same, then the fundamental driver of that shift in the socially acceptable attire is a part of the cause of the behavior. Nevertheless, it is a fine line that probably can't actually be found in the real world. The line exists because we define it that way and not necessarily because it reflects reality. Thus the reality appears to be a continuum with peaks and valleys here and there, but no real boundaries present unless you cherry pick the defining characteristics of the continuum.

So, what does all this mean? We are a great deal more complex than our concepts are, that is, our concepts are based on cherry picked criteria rather than to whole package. That said, we do tend to have a need to categorize things if for no other reason than to be able to talk about them. When we think the categorization represents reality that is when we get in trouble, especially if the reality turns out to be very different from the entrenched ideological classification that associates outward appearance with sexual characteristics. Those sexual characteristics only have to do with reproduction and have very little to do with the social roles people of the two sexes are expected to play or the complexities of self concept created in the brain by perhaps some fundamental blueprint that establishes a vague foundation that we build on in the course of our lives through experience and behavioral adaptation.

Thus when someone behaves differently than expected, with regard to appearance, we tend to launch ourselves into an Us/Them dichotomy and conclude the person is a bit "messed up" with regard to identity. They may be, but more likely they are not. It is the expectations and the Us/Them conflicts that are messed up. Thus crossdressers (no gender reversal in self concept) and transgender (some degree of gender reversal in self concept) are just part of a continuum that is not reflected in the way society classifies people with regard to socially established expectations. Shift the expectations and forget about Us/Them stuff and all is well.

Nikki A.

03-29-2019, 08:38 AM

Well I guess I'm going in a different direction. For us to participate in this activity , there has to be something different in us. I think that there is a little TG in all of us. It all depends how strong the feelings are. Not saying that we all want to be women but there has to be something

Robertacd

03-29-2019, 09:17 AM

Yes it is.

I believe all CD's are TG to some extent.

Years ago I would have not said that and rattled off a list of reasons why. But as I have previously stated, I was lying to myself most of all.

Tina Davis

03-29-2019, 12:55 PM

I might have agreed with that statement several years ago, but now I believe that crossdressing is just another part of the transgender spectrum. Yes, those of us in this category do not wish to transition, live full-time, or even come out to our family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. But we are still under the transgender umbrella. It's a very interesting topic and I will now go back and read the comments, thank you Chantal for starting the discussion.

Teresa

03-29-2019, 02:15 PM

Chantal,
The statement is perfectly true , as the thread about Cding being a hobby to some proved .

Being TG doesn't necessarily mean the person will crossdress , it's just a logical conclusion .

Being full time I naturally accept I'm TG but I no longer feel I'm crossdressing , in fact drab feels more like it now .

Princess Chantal

03-29-2019, 03:15 PM

Thank you folks that followed the concept of the thread (or seemed to do so), made the reading of the thread very enthralling for me (and hopefully for you as well). Nice to read your initial opinions with wishfull thinking that they were not influenced or generated by previous posts!

Richelle423

03-29-2019, 04:09 PM

Well in my case I wear women’s clothes 24/7.when I was on vacation a month ago my 14 yr old non binary neighbor wanted to dress me in drag since “ they” had the day off from school. I was all dressed up and the conversation came up if I was trans. My SO was there too.that really put me on the spot. I just said that I was a lesbian born in a male body. And if I had a vagina I would have been a lesbian. She “ they” out me saying the I’m trans in front of my SO and wanted to know if I identify as a part of the lgbt community. I replied I don’t but I support it. My SO always suspected I was different. I just came short of saying “ yes I’m trans so what”.btw it wasn’t really drag but it turned out to be light make up and a cos play wig which I strutted around the house. It was a good experience though

KimberlyJean

03-29-2019, 04:37 PM

I am with Roberta, I dressed for 35 years before I realized that I really do identify as a woman. This recent movement for strong women, the if you can see her you be her, my mother was the strongest person I have ever known. I thought for years I am too tough to be a girl, then it hit me that there are women who do what I do and women who are just as tough as me. My wife took to calling me a sissy until I made the comment "what women can't be tough" she hasn't called me a sissy since. I will say though since I accepted that I am a woman things have become more complicated.

JeanTG

03-29-2019, 04:53 PM

I think crossdressing can progress to being TG. Although that could also be it was TG all the time but one was trying to fool one's self about being just a "simple crossdresser".

I read on another thread a sister describing herself as a non-transitioning TG who is crossdressing when she presents as male! It neatly turned the world up on its end, I thought it was a cool statement.

Being CD/TG makes one an expert liar. And the first person we lie to... is ourselves.

Palaina Nocturnus

03-29-2019, 05:00 PM

I was told by a psychologist that the clothes I wear are considered feminine hence I am transgender. His basic explanation was as a crossdresser, the clothes I seek out are found in the section made specifically for females. That makes me transgender. After that, however I feel while in those clothes helps to identify my sexual orientation. I am bisexual.

I get overwhelmed with all the titles so I just say I am bisexual. I've dated every color, age and size. I'm more obsessed with sex than i am with how the person looks or their gender.

I really enjoyed everyone's opinions and their respect for others! I finally found a safe place to be myself.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Micki_Finn

03-29-2019, 05:49 PM

I would say that there is a fundamental difference. A crossdresser is someone who wears the clothes of the opposite gender. I think we can all agree with that. If we look at the trans community, they will tell you that trans women ARE women. If trans women are women then they are definitely not cross dressing, as they would be wearing clothing appropriate to their gender.

oh to be rachel

03-29-2019, 06:02 PM

Cross dressing is something one does.

Transgender is something one is.

I agree with this.

But I think the confusion is because (IMO) most present day transgender persons, start out dressing in the opposite sex's clothing. Just to try it out to get their brains around the concept. I can't image anyone showing up at their doctors asking for hormones that hasn't tried on the opposite sex's clothing.

A person that's crossdressing, is not necessarily going to ever be transgender. There's no guarantee that a crossdresser will go "all the way" to surgeries and hormones.

MarinaTwelve200

03-29-2019, 06:25 PM

Don't forget a LOT of us do NOT Identify with women. Nor are we Homosexual or transsexual. For many it is a sexual fetish, and others, Like myself, it helps me ESCAPE my male self. Some use it for masochistic humiliation, and others just like the texture of the fabric (so they say) and ALSO, it's just plain FUN! Folks tend to read too much into the (often disturbing) CLOTHING aspect of those who cross dress, while it is what they are using the clothing for or trying to accomplish is the real matter(s) to consider.

Lana Mae

03-29-2019, 07:04 PM

I think from crossdresser to pre-op transsexual each has a certain amount of Gender Dysphoria which drives them to do the dressing to express the dysphoria! Crossdressers have been considered under the transgender umbrella! They may only find it a sexual kink but the question is why? Gender dysphoria! Just my opinion for what it is worth! Best wishes to all! Hugs Lana Mae

GeorgeA

03-29-2019, 07:42 PM

As a MIAD I'm definitely not transgender. I am male, plain & simple. I am not even sure about crossdressing part. I wear things that I like, and which most women today disdain and seldom wear. Is that crossdressing?

GretchenM

03-30-2019, 06:00 AM

Lana Mae makes a good point regarding the influence of dysphoria. The discomfort (dysphoria) of having a poor match between internal feelings, outward expression, and return sensory input can be a strong motivator to make adjustments to create more comfort.

So, those who experience this need to express their inner feelings are seeking a feedback from senses that validates the internal feeling. We do that all the time with most everything we do - the brain creates a behavior that seems appropriate and the senses provide signals to the brain that what is being done is consistent with its expectations. It completes the circle.

Not completing the circle creates discomfort (dysphoria) that continues to demand validation. That discomfort can become stronger and stronger. It is somewhat similar to a child demanding a piece of candy - they may throw a temper tantrum. But in an adult that demand is met in very different and more controlled ways than it is in a child. Seeking that comfort through validating feedback, in the case of gender, drives us to find a comfort zone in being, in one way or another, like the gender identity that needs validation. Keep in mind though, you are not always consciously aware of what is going on in the subconscious brain. The conscious brain implements what the subconscious brain calculates is the proper course of action and it can rationalize it in many different ways. So, we are all so very different and yet so much alike.

Ressie

03-30-2019, 07:52 AM

Men sometimes cross dress for Halloween or to participate in a crossdressing contest. They're simply being good sports. They have no GD, have no desire to transition and have no desire to ever cross dress for any other reason. There's nothing transgender about them.

Macey

03-30-2019, 07:55 AM

Ameli

03-30-2019, 08:37 AM

For me, the term transgender is an umbrella group for all non cis gender people. Crossdressers are a often (but not always) a subset of this group. I cross dress because it an expression of what I feel I inside. I don’t think that is necessarily the case for all people who cross dress.

Patience

03-30-2019, 09:16 AM

I think we are fundamentally different, although we share basic common traits, like ducks and seagulls, or different varieties of bears.

No, we’re strictly speaking the same, but saying we are can harmlessly shorten many boring conversations.

Taylor186

03-30-2019, 10:31 AM

Aunt Kelly

03-30-2019, 11:30 AM

The Wiki paragraph reads, "The term cross-dressing refers to an action or a behavior, without attributing or implying any specific causes or motives for that behavior. Cross-dressing is not synonymous with being transgender."

Seems hard to argue that CDing and being TG are the same given this generic (dictionary type) definition of crossdressing.

Not hard at all, unless of course, you consider Wikipedia to be the ultimate arbiter of truth on the Internet, unfailingly accurate and up to date, thanks to the input of the most informed and respected authorities on every subject in it's catalog.

What? Too much sarcasm? :)

Robertacd

03-30-2019, 11:59 AM

Sure but you do know that anyone can edit Wikipedia, right? I could go change that right now.

They are synonymous because a GM probably wouldn't even have the desire to crossdress unless they were transgender to some extent.

Taylor186

03-30-2019, 01:14 PM

Not hard at all, unless of course, you consider Wikipedia to be the ultimate arbiter of truth on the Internet, unfailingly accurate and up to date, thanks to the input of the most informed and respected authorities on every subject in it's catalog.

What? Too much sarcasm? :)

A meaningless comment. If you spent any time reading the Wiki post before engaging your sarcastic fingers then you would realize that the Wiki post as referenced in the OP specifies a specific, all-inclusive, definition of crossdressing that certainly is not synonymous with being TG. It has nothing to do with the accuracy of the definition in your eyes or who can change it.

Sure but you do know that anyone can edit Wikipedia, right? I could go change that right now.

They are synonymous because a GM probably wouldn't even have the desire to crossdress unless they were transgender to some extent.

You too seem to have not read the Wiki post on cross-dressing. They reference several crossdressing situations where "the desire to crossdress," from a CD/TG perspective, is unnecessary: including acting, drag, and fetishes among others. Again, It has nothing to do with the accuracy of the definition in your eyes or who can change it.

Aunt Kelly

03-30-2019, 09:44 PM

Taylor,
If you want to consider Wikipedia as the be all and end all of authorities on the lexicon of gender identity definitions, feel free. I don't, for many reasons, Roberta's point among them.

Again, this thread has, all too predictably, devolved into an exchange of opinion, rather than having lead to a constructive attempt to reach consensus on the lexicon we use to describe ourselves. I tend to follow the guidance of those who make it their business to understand us, and to share that understanding, as professionals and academics tend to do.

Gillian Gigs

03-30-2019, 11:40 PM

On the surface I'd say cross dressing is just the act of wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. It does not explain any motivation of why somebody would wear the clothes of the opposite sex. Transgender implies inner feeling. I've always taken the position a person should speak in sentences and paragraphs to describe oneself. If my interest was strictly to wear a woman's nylon panty I would not characterize myself as a cross dresser. I'd say I had a panty fetish. If I was playing a female role in an all boy school and attired as a girl I would not classify myself as a cross dresser. That is a noun. I may be cross dressing which is a verb, an action. Heck, when I found this site I thought it was exclusively for guys who wore women's clothing. Boy, was I wrong. Or, is it, girl, was I wrong. I'll read the responses when they hit more than twenty.

Well said, Stephanie47. Through all that I have read on this site, I would say that there is an evolution from one phase to another with many. Someone with a panty, or lingerie fetish could evolve to another phase through the years, as seen in the stories that show up. Just because some of us have a feminine side, or traits, doesn't mean we are TG. It might mean that we act on some of the feelings, rather than the implied inner feelings of wanting to become female. The spectrum is so wide that I don't see how anyone could not consider themselves being within the spectrum, just because they don't fit into that particular tint, or colour. The question may be,"where will the person end up when all is said and done".

Taylor186

03-31-2019, 09:36 AM

Taylor,
If you want to consider Wikipedia as the be all and end all of authorities on the lexicon of gender identity definitions, feel free. I don't, for many reasons, Roberta's point among them.

Reading comprehension? I have taken no position on the accuracy of Wiki.

The OP references the Wiki entry on Cross-dressing. That is the context for my response(s) in this thread.

Ressie

03-31-2019, 12:04 PM

Ressie, that's a good point and possibly an interesting side topic. Concerning Hallowe'en or the like, is it 'crossdressing' if you're simply wearing a costume for an isolated occasion? I don't think I'd consider that 'crossdressing' in the sense that folks use the word, but that's just my faulty perception of it! Naturally, I'd expect all different shades and intentions just in this minute part of the discussion.

The OP and Wiki used the word Cross-dressing which I see as a verb, the act of wearing clothes of the opposite sex. I take things like words literally myself. That doesn't mean others have to.

Now if the statement in the OP was "crossdresser is not synonymous with being transgender" I wouldn't include those that cross dressed once in an isolated occasion. I would see that statement as taking on a slightly different meaning. It's really a moot point so no worries.

MarinaTwelve200

03-31-2019, 01:03 PM

Such Confusion is exactly why We called a Crossdresser who was not Homosexual or Transsexual a "Transvestite" To differentiate them from those who were crossdressing for gender or sexuality issues. The more different words we have the greater is our clarity of thinking---we think in words, Our vocabularies are indeed our "mental resolution"--As in TV screens, HD1080 is certainly clearer than 480. ----- Yes, in general, all types are known to cross-dress. But often, nowadays, A TG or Homosexual are the first things, most people think of when they hear someone termed a "crossdresser". ---- Perceived insults and confusion may abound if we neglect to be precise with our words, So it does no one a service to lump different types under a common term.-----Indeed! reducing vocabularies of a population can be used as a tool for political control (eg. 1984)---And we can see some of that even today.
We do not need the "4K HD" mental resolution of a Scientist to understand different nuances of words for speaking and thinking in more precise terms, but please, we must hold on to what we already have----Expand and maintain your vocabularies so you can be both better understood and also so you can better understand others. Don't be "PC manipulated" as not to "offend"----all to often the person being "protected" is the one being exploited and manipulated to ends that will not be for good.

Jean 103

03-31-2019, 01:11 PM

They are wrong, yet they are right, But mostly they are wrong.

For them to be right you would to remove feelings/emotions from the equation.

The question is are they the same? It depends on where you stand and how much you know.

Is a crossdresser a Transgender? Yes, because there are feelings attached to the wearing of the clothes.

Is a Transgender person a crossdresser? Not necessarily.

First they may not even wear clothes of the opposite sex. They want to actually be the opposite sex, and will make physical changes to their body to make that happen.

If they wear clothes of the opposite sex then yes they are, like me.

I see them as the same. It’s a spectrum, path, or just the life of a Transgender person.

In this corner we have the Baby looking up at the adult saying” that’s not me”.

In the other corner is the adult looking down and saying “kid you don’t know anything”.

Aunt Kelly

03-31-2019, 02:19 PM

Reading comprehension? I have taken no position on the accuracy of Wiki.

The OP references the Wiki entry on Cross-dressing. That is the context for my response(s) in this thread.

And yet you cite it in defense of your position... Logic comprehension?

- - - Updated - - -

A TG or Homosexual are the first things, most people think of when they hear someone termed a "crossdresser". ---- Perceived insults and confusion may abound if we neglect to be precise with our words

I agree that "most people" are ignorant of, or at least confused by the various manifestations of gender non-conformity and terminology used to describe it, but I do not agree that the umbrella term adds to that confusion. To some people, anything that swims in the sea is a fish. It's ignorance that we need to fight, not words.

Taylor186

03-31-2019, 04:05 PM

And yet you cite it in defense of your position... Logic comprehension?

You seem to have a problem with reading comprehension and making a logical argument, and after reading your original post, knowing the difference between fact and opinion. The OP asks for thoughts on the Wiki article conclusion that crossdressing is not synonymous with being transgender. Logic suggests you start with a premise--the Wiki article--and a conclusion--not synonymous--and question, does one logically follow the other? Your or my personal opinion regarding the veracity of the premise is irrelevant to this logical argument.

char GG

03-31-2019, 05:08 PM

Please stop with the back and forth bickering (you know who I mean).

Kelly DeWinter

03-31-2019, 05:48 PM

We have to keep in mind that terms can and do change meaning over time. Cross Dresser pre-dates Transgender just as Transvestite pre-dates Cross Dresser and Transgender

In our community there are no absolutes however its safe to say that people who identify as Transgender, Cross Dress and not all people who Cross Dress identify as Transgender, therefore Cross Dress IS synonymous to being Transgender.

That being said is there anyone who has transitioned who then considers themselves a crossdresser after transitioning ?

suzanne

03-31-2019, 06:32 PM

I believe transgenderism is not a black or white, on or off binary, but a continuum best described in fuzzy logic terms. A genetic male can exhibit characteristics normally attributable to females in any proportions from 1.000 M 0.0 F to 0.0M 1.000 F. Nobody is on the 100% end of either scale; everyone is some kind of a mixture. I myself feel as though I fit in the 0.65 F region of such a continuum, and the amount of time I spend wearing a skirt or dress suggests that is the case.

A genetic male who feels they have a significant amount of "feminine" tendencies will act in a way that reflects their feelings. If they are near the 100%F mode, they may declare that they are a woman trapped in a man's body and feel that being a male is so intolerable they live full time as a woman or even seek gender reassignment. For those who feel their femininity less often or less strongly, it may be sufficient to occasionally wear women's clothes.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that can only accept a binary "fits/doesn't fit" categorization. It even seems that in groups that should know better, like the LGBTQ community, there can be a tendency to try to say "so and so doesn't belong here". I find this very perplexing, becsuse many LGBTQ people have been told all their lives they don't belong and should know how damaging those words are, and the importance of having an accepting community. Why the further divisions?

Shayla

04-01-2019, 05:05 PM

Seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about transgenderism. It is a catch-all term, of which transsexualism (the desire to be another gender) is a part of the TG spectrum. It does not seem that many of us dress just for the sake of dressing (something inside us is pushing us to do it) so we are nearly all to some degree exhibiting transgender (across gender)behaviors. Crossdressing does not make us transexual, but it does put us on the TG spectrum.

Devi SM

04-01-2019, 05:47 PM

I'm a trasgender. I'm on hormones almost a year now.
I post a thread in transexual section ti.e ago titled "trasgender meaning" there was all kind of opinions but with I stated that to start hormones changed my life.
I believe now I was born a trasgender woman but I didn't know it. Thanks to gender therapy, primary doctor and over everything this web I learn my real identity.
For so long it was a crossdressing thing but with the time that wasn't enough to cure the dysphoria.
Now it's not a dressing thing. I can be in male like 50% if the time, no out to everybody yet but what I dress is not the priority like before.
I know some people can enjoy dressing and live without it, crossdresser. But if for you is something that produces an strange feeling of peace and fulfill that inner need of identity, you will stop being a crossdresser because you're not one, you're trans....
If you want a more detailed explanation, please read in the mentioned thread my analogy about leaving my country to live at the states....
Thanks for this thread.
I'm not into arguing about who's wrong or right because this a complicated issue, some people don't like labels and are happy, others as me are really rational and want to understand everything. I haven't yet but now I accept myself and know this is not a hobby, fetish, sexual thing it my life, I'm not longer a man...

Michala

04-01-2019, 05:57 PM

For me the statement is definitely true. I very much enjoy dressing to look as womanly as possible at times. Yet Have absolutely no interest or desire to become female or even live full time as a female. There may be others who differ from me, perhaps not may but most definitely, but that doesn't make either of us wrong.

ShelbyDawn

04-01-2019, 06:47 PM

I would offer that, while they can be, they do not have to be synonymous. Just as the Transgender spectrum is very broad, so to is the variety of REASONS each of us feels compelled to cross-dress.
The non-synonymous example that most readily comes to mind, is a sexual fetish dresser, someone that dresses just to get off and has no interest, or need otherwise.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules and for every rule we can come up with, we will need at least two exceptions...

Bottom line is that what makes us Transgender is the reason not the act.

And now to see how many of you have already said this and how many have already disagreed... ;)

Lacey New

04-02-2019, 06:57 AM

I would have to agree with the premise that cross dressing is not synonymous with being transgender. However, cross dressing is part of being transgender. To me, a transgender person has desires to either be or to emulate their opposite sex. When I cross dress, I have no desire to be or to emulate a female. At one point in my life, it was si,ply a sexual stimulus. That has passed for the most part and is simply a level of comfort. And while I may engage in what is clearly a transgender behavior, I do not identify as being such.

Jessica S

04-02-2019, 07:31 AM

I agree with the statement. I don't feel like I am a women trapped in a mans body. I just like to dress in the clothes and be a little feminine.

Bea_

04-02-2019, 07:33 AM

For me, there's no feeling of being transgendered. I really have no desire to look like a woman. I am jealous of the options women have and enjoy them for myself, but I like my plumbing and other male traits wrapped in a more indulgent, more personal package.

BrendaPDX

04-02-2019, 07:55 AM

Following the rules; like you I am not sure it is as black and white, at least for me. I enjoy cross-dressing but when I do I do have emotional shifts as well. Now I can't wait to read what others have said. And then post again:eek:

Princess Chantal

04-02-2019, 07:57 AM

Just as the Transgender spectrum is very broad, so to is the variety of REASONS each of us feels compelled to cross-dress)

Awesome post Shelby Dawn, especially the quoted sentence!

Ressie

04-02-2019, 07:57 AM

Can one cross dress without their gender identity being the opposite of their biological birth? Some have implied that the answer is yes in their case.

What I see is that some of us identify as a woman only when cross dressed, some identify as a woman whether cross dressed or not, and some never do no matter what they are wearing.

Devi SM

04-02-2019, 11:55 AM

Honestly I didn't read all and each of the posts but there are some agreement, there's an umbrella, yes includes to everybody but the name of that umbrella is not transgender but LGBTQ. Why? Because many here like just to dress from time to time, can stop for long periods and come back again but can keep their lives as men without disturbances. Others have to do it in a greater frequency because feel some "need to do it, don't know why but feel comfortable doing but can retake their normal lives as a man.There are anothers that like to dress and have sex with other men.
Some reach a point where need to Express as women in the daily life without even relating it with sex, for me this is a mark point towards being trasgender. Why they do it, they don't know but if they don't do it some feelings come that forces them to do it again and again achieving some peace, that's called dysphoria and but it has so many degrees as human beings are so many can keep living as male, but they are trasgender.
One interesting point that for many transgenders after get in hormones to dress lose some relevance because we experience changes in our bodies that validate our identity as women.
To go further I. The process of transition could take it far to SRS and other femizating surgeries, that for me is being transexual.
In my own case I think had walked most of this stages but six with men loose so much relevance as well to dress because to dress is just a normal part of my life as a trasgender woman.
So see where you are in this transition or evolution, that will tell you if you're a crossdresser or a trasgender, as Lana Mae mention, dysphoria makes the difference.

Roxanne Lanyon

04-04-2019, 03:05 PM

This is an extremely complicated issue. I choose to desire to be feminine, and whether my love is male or female is , does not matter. If he/she feels "right" to me, that is what I need.
Roxanne Lanyon

Swottie

04-05-2019, 02:28 PM

(First reply without reading any other posts)

I agree that crossdressing isn't synonymous to TG. Take GG wearing male clothes for example, that is by definition crossdessing, but I suspect most who girls who occasionally wear boys clothes are not transgender. Therefore the two are not synonymous, since that would have mean one equals the other all of the time, which it clearly is not.

Micki_Finn

04-05-2019, 02:39 PM

Start with the principle that Trans women ARE women. What do you call a woman wearing women’s clothes? That’s right, a woman! Therefor cross dressing is necessarily differentiated from transgenderism, unless possibly the trans woman were to be presenting as a man, in which case she would be “wearing the clothes of the opposite gender”

Simoneshamon

04-06-2019, 03:32 PM

This is a great thread, again I have been looking at this site without signing in and reading this topic, and I agree with the separate definitions.
Like I said in my thread about crossdressers, they are people who like to dress up in the clothing of the opposite sex,
I enjoy to dress up and feel sexy and sometimes go out but I don't wish to pass or be a women, so I am a crossdresser,

In my opinion everyone out there who is dressing up and passing as a women wanting to pass as a women, have inner female feelings etc are not crossdressers are more in to the transsexual category, which I have no problem with.

So all I would like to say is this is a crossdressing section of the site, so to all people who do pass, and have inner feelings etc please remember when people on here and don't pass as they are crossdresser to support them as well as us crossdressers to support you.

The reason I say this is there are many mean people on this forum and in the LGBTQ community who are not as supporting and have to many negative comment made.

Amelie

04-06-2019, 04:16 PM

I look like a woman so I can pick up straight guys in the bars.

Labels and definitions come and go, and are fluid to change. Some definitions are vague and are interpreted by people differently. People are curious social beings and they have a need to know where they belong in the universe. So they seek out a label that fits who they are, sometimes they are wrong and sometimes they change the label with time. Probably in a few years there will be a new label to replace the old ones. If that happens would that make the old labels wrong. There is a sort of hierarchy in this world of ours and there is always someone trying to one up another by saying their label is above all others, when in fact they all belong under the same umbrella term.

I only use labels when talking online, like on forums such as this. In the outside world I don't tell anyone who or what I am. I don't care what others think.

Maid_Marion

04-06-2019, 04:55 PM

I think that most TGs would be pleased to grow a nice set of boobs, while a crossdresser would would be upset if this were to happen. The cross dresser may have them removed.

Princess Chantal

04-06-2019, 07:18 PM

I look like a woman so I can pick up straight guys in the bars.
.

And what has this to do with the thread?

Amelie

04-06-2019, 08:15 PM

And what has this to do with the thread?

Probably nothing, just read on the rest of my post.

PS-Actually, I just wanted to add something silly to a silly thread. What difference does it make what the word crossdressing means to the word transgender. Why should this big such a big topic among people. This question(topic) is brought up many times over and over. How is ones life going to change cause they use the wrong word.

closets

04-07-2019, 01:45 AM

there is a spectrum of cds. some work to pass and some don't. cds can share common goals of transgender mtf, so there is overlap b/n the two.

but cds are not trans in that they don't identify as female and don't change legal paperwork to say so. And trans mtf do not cd b/c they consider themselves women. trans women are not cd'ing when they wear fem clothing.

Jodie_Lynn

04-07-2019, 09:50 AM

On another site, this subject was brought up, except that the OP, who identifies as a transwoman, has a serious grudge about CD's/drag queens/sissies and Transpeople being 'lumped together' in the same category.
She is of the opinion that unless you are full blown, 24/7, on hormones, and/or had surgeries, or if you get erotic thrills from wearing apparel of the opposite gender, that you are "just" a crossdresser and she is offended with being associated with you by the general public.

Personally, I think the issue is far too intertwined to make any clear cut decisions on the issue. And I try very hard not to judge others. For me, the clothing isn't 'exciting', or erotic; they are the clothes I feel comfortable with as I slowly move along my path.
Do I dress sexy & stereotypically fetish-y at times? Yes, but that is for the benefit of others, when I attend 'adult' parties or events. I am an adult, and do enjoy the company & attentions of the male sex, so there is that. Does that make me "merely" a crossdresser or fetish dispenser?

BUT, on weekends, and off-work hours, I dress for my comfort. And if there was some magic that could make me wake up tomorrow with all the 'right' equipment in place, I would gladly take it.

People seem to LOVE to put others into neat little boxes, and to feel 'more specialer' than others. We, as a competitive species, seem to thrive on establishing 'us VS them' paradigms, rather than simply allow others to be what, and as they choose.

For instance, on these boards, I post mainly in the CD section, and not the Trans section, because I don't want to be labeled as 'less' trans than others. Even though I find myself identifying less & less with many of the members of the CD section. I'm not being judgmental here, merely stating my thoughts.

At the end of the day, it is what makes you comfortable in your own skin that matters, and not what others think.

As Ricky Nelson sang, in 'Garden Party'

I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends
A chance to share old memories and play our songs again
When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name
No one recognized me, I didn't look the same

But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well
You see, ya can't please everyone, so ya got to please yourself

LilSissyStevie

04-07-2019, 11:10 AM

The statement is true unless every crossdresser is transgender AND every transgender person is a crossdresser ( google "synonymous".) It isn't any more complicated than that.

Aunt Kelly

04-07-2019, 02:02 PM

Jodie_Lynn

04-07-2019, 02:36 PM

There is nothing "just" about being a crossdresser. One is not anything "less than" for being a crossdresser.
<<SNIP<<

I agree with most of what you said.
But, where does it stop?
"OH no, I'm not a crossdresser, I'm a drag queen!"
"Oh, you are mistaken, I'm a sissy, not a crossdresser!"
"Whups! I'm a man in a dress, not a crossdresser!"
"Yeah, I like wearing women's clothes, it gets me horny! But I'm not looking to be a woman!"
"Yeah, I'm a crossdresser, but have no desire to be with men. I just like the clothes"
"I am a man (woman) trapped in a woman's (man's) body. I wear the clothing associated with my true gender!"

I don't know your story, I don't know if you are a post-op transwoman, but let me pose this:

Suppose you read a post where a post-operative transperson stated they were offended by being categorized with people who hadn't reached that goal?

OMG! I'm a post-op Trans (man/woman) and I am offended to be lumped in with pre-op transpersons!

Many crossdressers find that they are more trans as they live their lives, maybe they started by wearing panties. Then, they realized that it wasn't the clothes, but themselves that were the heart of the issue.

I'm not looking to get into a catfight, we all have different opinions. I'm just a little dismayed that the community can be so divisive. Can we really afford to draw boundaries around each other? Forget the general populace, there is even some prejudice from the LGB community regarding T.

MarinaTwelve200

04-07-2019, 08:53 PM

As I have previously stated----Cross-dressing is something different people do for different reasons----It's not a "condition" in itself but rather a "symptom" SHARED by different conditions.----A "Cough" is a symptom shared by those with a common Cold and those with Tuberculosis. Yet the two conditions and situations could not be more different. We don't group TB patients and Cold sufferers in the same group and call them "Coughers" do we? Transgender people and male heterosexuals that simply like wearing women's clothing will BOTH cross-dress. which is why we should not lump all crossdressers under a single heading. The term "Transvestite" was coined to differentiate different conditions that may share crossdressing in common.----That gave us three distinct categories--transgender, Homosexual and Transvestites to consider the special concerns of that all share crossdressing, but for different motivations and goals.-----It is never a good idea to ignore or ban words, as we speak and THINK in words. What if confused TB with Colds?--- (they are BOTH coughers anyway) we could not have a constructive conversation or make useful decisions about coughing. "Transvestite" would cover heterosexual crossdressers while Homosexual and TG who also cross-dress. even "Transvestite" covers a bit much, as we have hetero "Fetishist", "humiliation masochists", and "escapists", for example, who cross-dress under that heading. The more we break things down the better, even if they DO share a common symptom.----Different forces are at play with different objectives using the same thing for different ends.

Sallee

04-07-2019, 10:34 PM

Cross dressing falls on the gender spectrum. Perhaps cross dressing is level 1 on the spectrum where as the highest level would be SRS. I still like calling it a hobby although there is certainly a driving force sometimes to cross dress and I have never heard of a driving force to collect stamps

IleneD

04-07-2019, 10:37 PM

Reminds me of a joke I heard when I first came out 5 yrs ago and started to seriously consider WTF was "right" with me.

Q: What's the difference between a cross dresser and a transgender?
A: About 4 years.

Jaylyn

04-07-2019, 11:30 PM

I eye a big difference I love dressing up but I really am not interested in being a female 100% of the time. I look at me crossdresing as a hobby that I enjoy. It gives me a relaxing time and I do love wearing the clothing. To me it's about the smoothness and the option of the makeup which adds to the excitement. I'm not out and have no desire to be but have thought I wouldn't mind going out with a bunch of others that feel the same as I do.
Another thought sometimes my wife used to help me on the farm. She wore boots, a western long sleeve wrangler shirt, a hat and men's type wrangler pants. I think she probably had panties on underneath but those didn't show. This out fit diesnot make her a CD nor a cowboy. It is simply a work uniform. I can argue also that it doesn't make her a farmer / rancher either. I look at it this way just because I wear ladies clothing and enjoy it I am not a transgender just a guy that enjoys the dress. Wife wears hers to help farm and I wear mine to help relax and my enjoyment.

Aunt Kelly

04-08-2019, 12:21 AM

I don't know your story, I don't know if you are a post-op transwoman, but let me pose this:

Suppose you read a post where a post-operative transperson stated they were offended by being categorized with people who hadn't reached that goal?

I am a transsexual. I am pre-almost-everything, having fully come to terms with my nature only recently. I am undergoing electrolysis for my facial hair and will start HRT soon. I intend to pursue all options to resolve my GD.

You ask a fair question, to which I can honestly answer that I have never heard of such a thing (ridicule of pre-op transwomen by those post-op). I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but the fact of the matter is that anyone who's reached that point understands better than anyone what the journey involves for anyone who know that they were born with the wrong physical gender.
On the other hand, I have heard ridicule for those whom I will call "dabblers", those who want to pursue HRT for... let's call them "purely aesthetic reasons", i.e. they just want their own boobs. I can't speak for others, but to me that is dangerous folly. HRT is dangerous. It's effects are usually permanent. It's side effects are serious, and include maybe dying. But that's ridicule of the subjects' judgement, not of their place on the spectrum. And just so we're very clear, I would not so judge someone who approached HRT with that goal in mind and who was serious enough about it to make that approach from and informed and realistic position.

Many crossdressers find that they are more trans as they live their lives, maybe they started by wearing panties. Then, they realized that it wasn't the clothes, but themselves that were the heart of the issue.

I'm not looking to get into a catfight, we all have different opinions. I'm just a little dismayed that the community can be so divisive. Can we really afford to draw boundaries around each other? Forget the general populace, there is even some prejudice from the LGB community regarding T.
Ah... now we get down to where we truly agree. Until three years ago, I would have told you that I am a crossdresser. Why that changed I can't really say, but my experience has been much like you describe. I can truthfully say that I have never taken offense at those who saw me as something different, because I was. Or at least I thought I was.

Yes, the community is often divided. In my estimation, such contention is, almost always, borne of ignorance and an insufficient regard for the challenges faced by those not quite like us. It's true, the LGB community, in general, does not understand TG issues. One friend of mine can tell you a story about a gay male acquaintance stubbornly refusing to understand the difference between her (a transwoman) and his cousin the drag queen.
A
This very thread is clear evidence that even those of us, who are all under the "umbrella" term "transgender", will often stubbornly insist that "in their opinion", this or that person has misused this or that label. A useful lexicon is not a matter of opinion. To be effective, it must be agreed upon by those who use it. All too many members here refuse to do that, with the predictable result of an endless stream of contentious threads, just like this one.

Maid_Marion

04-08-2019, 06:22 AM

I was a lot more girly than my wife. We'd go to to Wendy's and she'd have two burgers. I'd have the Asian chicken salad. Not only do I have an petite hourglass figure, but I just noticed my waistline is just below my ribs, above my belly button.
For me, there is just too much risk to benefit ratio to transitioning when you an already male fail. And always have. It would really suck to be any shorter.

Lara A

04-08-2019, 03:51 PM

Following the rules and haven't read any other posts :)

...but then I cheated and looked up Wikipedia on 'transgender': "Transgender people have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their assigned sex" were the first words of that description. So by that definition at least, crossdressing might fall under the words "gender expression", if of course Wikipedia is to be believed :)

However, for myself, I feel that crossdressing is just a step. Some people feel the need to take a further step, while others do not. I personally have been teetering on the next series of steps for waaay too long! Scared to take the next, but scared not to sometimes. A lot of the time I am happy to just take some time to be Lara, and some of the time I wish I could summon the courage to go further, whatever that looks like. As long in the tooth as I am, that next step gets a little further out of reach each day, and that is OK, and sometimes not OK!!!