Pushing friends away

[Daintre]

I was reading several threads today and read many posts where people have offered others their support, well wishes, and offers of help.

A little history, I am TG, I have some severe health issues, and I have a very negative image of myself, to say I do not like myself would be an understatement, as I read in other posts, I would rather be all male, or all female. I have systematically (sic) pushed away all my friends, co-workers, and family. I now find myself alone and very unhappy. I do not push people away on purpose, but I say to myself,"if I don't like me, how can anyone else like me". So I push until people finally tire of trying.

Since I joined this forum I read all the posts I can, and I actually found a member here who I started to pm, she is a GG and a very wonderful person, I think I have told her more than anyone. I do know that this is one friend I will not push away.

I feel that there are some very awesome people here and I would really like to try and fit in, I go to respond to threads, look what I have written and say to myself that what I have to say is not good enough for others to read.

I have said to much and I am rambling, thanks for listening

[Rikkicn]

I'm glad you here with us. Your right, there are some awesome people here. Most al of us have been through a lot with our gender stuff so there is good advice to be found.
You've made a big step in realizing that you are pushing people away and you would like to change that. Congradulations!

[Darlene Rochelle]

Hang in there sweetie, a lot of people have been in the dumpas emotionally too. Life goes on. You are in GOOD company. Hugs:)

[Julie Avery]

Keep after it, Jenny! It sounds like you're growing in self-awareness about things you sometimes do, which contribute to situations that can make you unhappy. That's a painful kind of growth but something which would be good for each of us to undertake in our own way, and it can only be a good, positive sign for you that you've got it going on.

[kathy gg]

Jenni, thanks for telling us about yourself.
And most times one good honest friend is worth more than ten so-so fair-weather friends.

[Julie York]

I feel that there are some very awesome people here and I would really like to try and fit in, I go to respond to threads, look what I have written and say to myself that what I have to say is not good enough for others to read.



You post away. Sincerity usually wins over content here and you have plenty of that.
:thumbsup:

[sharifemme]

Jenni...

I hope you don't think you are alone with your problem. Many of us (me included) have had issues with who and what we are. I know that I have kept my distance from people because I felt I didn't fit in. By joining TG suppport groups and being a member of boards like this one, I have come to realize there are people like me in the world and that we all have worth. I, too, have health issues and I'm certainly not pleasing to look at in either male or femme mode but most of the TG support places overlook that so why shouldn't I?

Stick with us, honey, and we will try our best to help you. You are NEEDED here and you're among friends.

Sharifemme




I was reading several threads today and read many posts where people have offered others their support, well wishes, and offers of help.

A little history, I am TG, I have some severe health issues, and I have a very negative image of myself, to say I do not like myself would be an understatement, as I read in other posts, I would rather be all male, or all female. I have systematically (sic) pushed away all my friends, co-workers, and family. I now find myself alone and very unhappy. I do not push people away on purpose, but I say to myself,"if I don't like me, how can anyone else like me". So I push until people finally tire of trying.

Since I joined this forum I read all the posts I can, and I actually found a member here who I started to pm, she is a GG and a very wonderful person, I think I have told her more than anyone. I do know that this is one friend I will not push away.

I feel that there are some very awesome people here and I would really like to try and fit in, I go to respond to threads, look what I have written and say to myself that what I have to say is not good enough for others to read.

I have said to much and I am rambling, thanks for listening

[KathrynW]

I have some severe health issues, and I have a very negative image of myself, to say I do not like myself would be an understatement, as I read in other posts, I would rather be all male, or all female. I have systematically (sic) pushed away all my friends, co-workers, and family.
Jenni-
Well, needless to say...I can directly relate to what you're saying. I also have some health issues, besides all this T stuff. Negative self image? Yep...another one I can relate to big time. I don't have any contact with any family members, long story, but it works better that way. I've been blessed with the unique gift of being able to piss off just about anyone on the planet in about 30 seconds or less. No, it's not really something I'm proud of, but I'm workin on it...
Some of us here are about as dysfunctional as it gets. So...No, you are not alone. But, Hey...we're still looking down at the grass instead of up at it...Right? ;)

[Sarah Rabbit]

I feel that there are some very awesome people here and I would really like to try and fit in, I go to respond to threads, look what I have written and say to myself that what I have to say is not good enough for others to read.

I have said to much and I am rambling, thanks for listening

Jenni, Don't ever feel You do not have anything worthwhile saying. Just post what you feel. No one is going to bag you or jump on you. They are all a pretty good bunch here

Hugs, Sarah R. :bunny:

[chattaboxx]

Hi Jenni,

I am sorry to hear that you have pushed away your friends and family but i hope that you will come to love this place.

I hold this place very special and please, if you feel like writing a reply to a thread ...just do it

look forward to reading more of your posts

Louise
(chattaboxx)

[Janelle Young]

Hi Jenni

Just my thoughts, I am not a doctor and have never even played one on TV but here goes anyway. I think that everyone has negative thoughts about themselves to some degree just about all of the time. Some times it might be more negative than others and some times more positive. You just knowing about it helps to make you more positive so I see that as a good thing. Thinking about all of the positive aspects of you, and I'm sure there are lots of them. might help.

Please post and respond to posts. Getting a different perspective on any question or thought is a good thing. I read posts and responses all of the time and I think 'hey, I never thought of that' or 'I never looked at it that way before'.

Everyone has something to offer and you are a part of everyone. Thank you for sharing this.

Respect and Regards

Janelle

[Ms. Donna]

I feel that there are some very awesome people here and I would really like to try and fit in, I go to respond to threads, look what I have written and say to myself that what I have to say is not good enough for others to read.

Hi Jenni,

You should never feel that what you have to say is not worthy of sharing.

E.g.: I can honestly say that I have never 'pushed' people away. I don't have a frame of refernece for seeing the world from that point of view - ergo I can not speak to the experience - but you can. You can offer insight and support for others who share in your experience. Your life experiences make you uniquely qualifyed to speak on any part thereof.

Please don't feel put off, as everyone has something of value to share.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Jennaie]

I can't begin to tell you how many responses to threads I have typed and deleted because I did not feel thay my opinion was worth reading. I do it all the time Jenny. I have found that there is always someone here who can relate to what you are trying to convey in your message.

Answer threads with your honest feelings and watch how many of us will appreciate what you have said.

Thanks for being here Jenny. :)

[Michelle Hart]

Honey, somtimes all it takes is a little rambling or a good vent session to bring you back into focus.

All of us here are special in our own way as we share a common thread.

Even if you think it is'nt worth saying, say it anyway.

Were all sisters here and we love you!

[Danielle]

I too think negative,I was wounded pretty bad in the love department and crossdressing for me is like a pillow to all that junk in the past with my ex.I feel at times the way you do but my first post here changed me to think diffrently I have 3 buddies in my list now and it feels like It's ok to do what I like."If it makes you happy than why are you so sad" that's the song from Sheryl Crow.I am more at peace with myself. I use to be a walking bomb anyone would piss me off.. it's on but the mini and heels have changed all that.Crossdressing for me is like walking on cloud nine!
We all here enjoy your input and am sure anyone here can agree with me,all the replies prove it so enjoy yourself and keep'em coming darling!!

[Jeannie9]

Hello,

Give yourself permission to love yourself. It took me 28 years (ouch!) to do that. Never thought that someone could love me because I'm a CD/TG. I've now been very happily married for 10 years. Not all people will like you. I know I have some people who, well, do not like me very much because I tick them off. I'm quite OK with that. But some will and those are the ones that matter.

Jeannie