I was having a great time this weekend until...

[stephaniestilley]

I usually like to go to the movies on Saturday nights since there's a nice theater that's within walking distance from my house. The staff is really nice and I've never had any unpleasant encounters there. So I get to my seat before the movie begins and after a few seconds I notice that the guy sitting down the row from me takes a picture of me on his phone (with the flash on!! he didn't even try to be subtle about it!) I was naturally very upset, but this has never happened to me before so I didn't even know how I should react and I didn't want to make a scene so I just let it go since this happened moments before the movie started. I have a feeling this won't be the last time something like this is going to happen, what should I do or say when it does? How do you handle situations like these?

[mbmeen12]

That is creepy, but I guess you know what the hollywood types feel like. Maybe report to management and they can call the police. Next time you take a picture of him... Non verbally put him on notice!

[Jane G]

Not sure I would take a picture back. That might be taken as giving him the ok to extend whatever it is he started. I would either ignore it completely or report it.

[Helen_Highwater]

Shepanie,

Just pity him! His life is so void of real content he has to live it by being able to show his friends that something "interesting" happened in his shallow existance.

It just shows that some people are utterly lacking of manners and their only real companion is their smartphone.

One quick question, did he actually turn around to take the pic or did he hold the phone as if taking a selfie?

[Crissy 107]

Wow, what a piece of garbage. I would definitely report him to the management. I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you.

[BTWimRobin]

That's totally unacceptable. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. That is a invasion of your privacy. Depending on my comfort level, I would either call him out on it, causing a scene, or say something to the management.

[Aunt Kelly]

I am not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that one has a right to privacy if one is a paying customer in an establishment. In other words, the photographer needs your permission. In "public" places, the rules are definitely different, so we're fair game for what, I agree, is classless behavior like that.

[Ressie]

Cameras are everywhere now days. He could have taken your photo without you knowing it. Just a few years ago most people knew that you should get permission before taking a photo of someone. Those days seem to be gone.

[alwayshave]

Actually, use of recording devices are banned in most theaters, I would have alerted the management and they would have escorted him out.

[BrendaPDX]

Like others I would have reported it to the management. Some people are so shallow. Was it a McMenamin, either way I would report it. Hope you enjoyed the movie.

[Majella St Gerard]

News Flash
People are rude.
I would have taken his pictur.

[Tracii G]

I would have walked down to him and taken his pic so I had proof of who took the pic.
Really call the police? Come on its not a crime to take a pic.
I would say there have been many pics taken of you but you just didn't know it at the time.
Don't be so sensitive about it.
Portland isn't known for acceptance by the progressive crowd so you will have to deal with dicks like that guy.

[Micki_Finn]

I am not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that one has a right to privacy if one is a paying customer in an establishment. In other words, the photographer needs your permission. In "public" places, the rules are definitely different, so we're fair game for what, I agree, is classless behavior like that.

I doubt there are any protections. It’s a space where she knew people would be assembling, so there isn’t really a “reasonable expectaction if privacy”. Sorry, but it’s a danger of going out in public. This was rude, but not illegal, nor anything the proprietors would likely do anything about. Realistically all you saw was someone using flash photography in a movie theatre before the movie. Can you prove his intention was to take a photo of you and not say someone else in the theatre, or of the theatre itself?

[JulieB]

Agree with Tracii, Dont call the police. Talk about bringing attention to yourself! Your right to privacy in public is little to none, nothing against the law of people taking photos of you, in public. Not saying it is right, but it is what it is.. Cameras are everywhere, phones, security cameras etc... more people than ya think looking at you thru the lense.

[Robertacd]

Aunt Kelly, the laws vary by state.

In Washington state anyone can take your pictures in public. You are not guaranteed any more privacy in public than being in public affords you.

The state's voyeurism laws only protect people who are in a place where they "would have a reasonable expectation of privacy"

In fact up until maybe 10 years ago it was perfectly legal to take "upskirt" photos of GG's without their knowledge or consent in a public place in Wa (https://m.seattlepi.com/news/article/Filming-up-women-s-skirts-is-ruled-legal-1096549.php).

[Paula DAngelo]

One thing that most people are forgetting or not realizing is this was not done in a public place, it was done in a semi-public place. Either way calling the police won't get anything done because taking the picture in itself is not going to be a violation of a law, what is done with the picture may be, but that is a separate matter . However notifying the theater management may be another story, it's their property so they make the rules. If there is a no photo/video policy in effect, or if they just want to tell the person to stop, then the person with the camera has two choices, stop as requested or leave the facility. If they refuse then the theater management can have the police respond and have the individual removed and/or charged with trespass and what ever else the police deem appropriate based on the persons actions once they have responded.

While we may not like it, our pictures are being taken multiple times every day. It's a fact of life, so if you're going to leave your home you need accept that it happens and get a thicker skin and not let it bother you.

[Stephanie47]

Like Roberta, I reside in Washington State. There is no expectation of privacy in public places when it comes to the visual, i.e., taking pictures. There was a case not too long ago of a creepy guy taking pictures of little kids in public. Nothing could be done about it. You could have told the theater management and perhaps he could have been thrown out because he violated the theatre's rules. Washington State is a two party state when it comes to making audio recordings.

[Teresa]

Stephanie,
Not an easy one to deal with but he was invading your privacy so you had every right to ask him nicely to delete the picture or you would make a complaint to the management .
I guess you could have taken his picture but what that would have achieved I'm not sure . It was very rude and I feel it should have been pointed out otherwise he will just keep doing it .

Kelly,
As a professional photographer I still needed to seek permission from any person whether the picture was taken in private or public .

I don't agree with Paula about getting a thicker skin , any person taking a picture in those circumstances has a certain responsiblity , the use of that picture could have disastrous consequences to some people .

[Sallee]

He should have at least been discrete. Was he alone. You could have approached him and asked if you knew him.

[Joyce Swindell]

Might have been fun to ask him why he took a picture of you. It may have made him squirm a little. If not squirm at least get an answer. If he responds that it was of something else then I'm sure he wouldn't mind showing it to you. Maybe he wanted a picture of a pretty woman? Wouldn't he be surprised! Or... maybe he's also a crossdresser and liked the way you did your make up??? Who knows....next time be forward and friendly, maybe it's not the conclusion we jump to.

[Beverley Sims]

You could have reported it to the management at the time, at least he would have been thrown out as cameras are not allowed to be used in theatres.

[Micki_Finn]

You really want to throw him you should have just said “oh hon if you wanted s picture, just ask” then go right up to him and take a selfie with him.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I'd have sat right next to him and took a selfie with him and posted it on reddit, but that's me. I have to agree with those who say contact management and report him.

[Patience]

You've experienced a pet peeve of mine. I'm sorry it happened. Normally, if I catch them on time, I cover my face with my hand, giving them the finger in the process. Contacting management is an idea, but realistically, what would they do?

On a side note, and I've touched on this before, I don't think there's any activity too mundane that it can't be enjoyed while dressed (aside one exception or two), but getting all dolled up just to sit in a room with no light is not my idea of time well spent dressed (especially when alone), but that's just me.

If you absolutely can't do without going to the movies dressed, I suggest you wait until they start the previews before you enter the room. Less risky that way.

[Teresa]

Patience,
I've found the cinema very enjoyable , I don't get too dolled up but I've had some lovely conversations in the bar before the show and just before the performance starts while seated . If some aren't comfortable being out in public the cinema is a great way of breaking the ice , to me it's perfectly normal to go as Teresa .

[Micki_Finn]

Oh yeah, the movies are great especially for newbie dressers. The most you’ll have to interact with anyone is at the box office and maybe an usher, and the rest of the time you’re left alone in the dark which covers flaws in your presentation.

[docrobbysherry]

Patience, I was filming photos in a city park with a friend. a hater stopped us and began berating us in front of others saying he'd called the police. While we waited for them, he called us all sorts of terrible names and took many photos. So, I replied in kind. Taking many of him. A policeman came, took both our names, gave me a verbal warning about public nudity, and drove off. Do did we.

But, I felt better knowing I had this evil, hater's photo and the day and time of his action in a police report.:thumbsup:

[Patience]

Oh, I can see the appeal of going to the movies dressed. It's a valid way to experience the thrill of being out. Also, we all have to tailor our activities to our limitations. It's like one's out wearing an invisibility cloak, or something.

BUT...

One's not really invisible. This unfortunate event could have happened practically anywhere, but when it happens in a movie theater, it's even more creepy, because now you're stuck in a room in the dark with what could be some deranged creep only feet away...and he'll be there seeing you leave. Quite a feminine problem, really.

As this kind of crap can happen anywhere, you might as well go anywhere. Yes, we can't all pull it off to the same extent, but I feel most of us will be taken seriously if we present ourselves tastefully and demonstrate conviction. I feel safer being out in well lit places with plenty of witnesses about, preferably with friends of mine who know about my dressing and see me dressed frequently.

Stephanie, there's a chance this person may have seen you before. It is possible you may meet again. We all have our little rituals but it pays not to be too predictable. Mix it up a little bit. Take a break and go back to your routine further down the line.

Doc, In your case, you 1) were not alone, 2) were in an open place with plenty of witnesses, 3) were apparently "nude" (please don't show me) in public. Also, there are some nuances to your dressing which may not apply to some of us.

[Rhonda Jean]

Y'all are a lot more aggressive and braver than me. I would have done nothing, except worry about what site the pic would end up on and if any of my friends would see it.

Patience, I've been out A LOT for decades, and I still like going to a movie dressed. It's not so much the sitting in the theater, although you're still pretty visible. It's the going and coming, the dinner before, the drinks after. Besides, I just run out of things to do. My list is pretty short. Shopping, restaurants... after that I'm kinda stuck, but not ready to go home or back to the hotel. A movie is a pretty good option.

FWIW, I've only rarely been to a Walmart dressed since I became aware of the website "People of Walmart". Figured I'd end up on there.

[Pumped]

One thing that most people are forgetting or not realizing is this was not done in a public place, it was done in a semi-public place.


In the eyes of the law there is not a "semi public" space. A retail establishment, theater, or out on the street in all public, and generally people can take all the pictures and video recordings they want without permission.

YouTube is fun to watch with instances like this. I watched one where a guy and some woman got into a car accident. The woman was acting weird so the guy was videoing it. She kept hollering at him to stop it and even the cop that showed up told her he could record if he wanted to. Eventually the woman attacked the guy recording, got cuffed and charged with assault.

I agree, the guy was kinda creepy, but them if the OP was clocked as a crossdresser the guy taking the picture might feel the OP was creepy! It's going to happen. You dress and don't blend, some people are going to get weird about it.

[Laura28]

I would have taken a selfie with him and made it perfectly clear to him that I would post this as my new boyfriend every where if he didn’t relate it it now or if I ever see it online.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Patience

I cannot disagree more, We should have the expectation of privacy as anyone else in public I've been to Walmart and Target and have seen some strange sites. Do I whip out the camera and take photos of them ? No. What if you started taking photos of random people. They would surly be upset. Place like restaurants, the movies etc, you expect to be able to have your personal space.
Saying "
we all have to tailor our activities to our limitations" is tantamount to giving people permission to be in our space and saying we don't have the right to be in public.

[Patience]

Um, I don't recall saying that we had less of a right to privacy than anyone else; and that second thing you highlighted simply meant that we don't all pass for females to the same degree and that each individual's particular living situation can affect the degree to which he can enjoy (or afford) to go out dressed.

That's true enough, isn't it?

[Pumped]

Kelly, no one has any right to privacy while in public, including stores, theaters and restaurants. What you would like, or expect, and what is legal are often different.
Now it would be great if one could walk around in public wearing what ever they pleased and people would just leave well enough alone, but that just doesn't happen, hence the "people of Walmart" pictures.

[KimberlyJean]

Stephanie,

How is your confidence? We can debate the action until the cows come home but how are you? I had an interaction with a very rude woman and it destroyed my confidence for quite a while. I was on my motorcycle last week and I noticed a couple girls take my picture in traffic, at first I was like WTF but then they didn't pay me any more attention. I think she was just taking a picture of the chick on a bike. I had a guy at a gas station hitting on me so I am pretty sure I just look like a girl on a bike. If it doesn't bother you chalk it up to someone being rude, if it has shaken your confidence give it time and keep getting out there. Be you and don't let anyone stop you.

[Aunt Kelly]

Aunt Kelly, the laws vary by state.

In Washington state anyone can take your pictures in public. You are not guaranteed any more privacy in public than being in public affords you.

The state's voyeurism laws only protect people who are in a place where they "would have a reasonable expectation of privacy"


That's why I qualified my opinion - the inconsistent definition of "privacy" and "public place". I do know that in some jurisdictions, any place that you must pay to gain entry is not "public", but as you say, it's far from consistent.

The main thing to remember is that we should be prepared to encounter the occasional asshole, who thinks he's entitled to abandon common decency because we are different.

[stephaniestilley]

Lol next time it happens, I think I'll try what Micki and Laura suggested and take a selfie with them just to see how they react, fortunately that whole experience didn't ruin the movie for me. I saw Paper Moon (1974) and it was so good that it helped me get over it pretty quickly. And in response to your question Kim, I've been living as a woman for a few months now, so I feel very confident when I go out in public but the problem is that most of the time I don't have anyone to go with me when I do go out so I often feel very vulnerable and sometimes unsafe, especially when I'm out after dark. Fortunately, I have a small handful of friends who are there for me and the people I live with are very supportive and I've only had one other rude encounter with someone in the year and a half that I've been presenting so I feel like things could be a lot worse, although I must admit it is kind of weird living in a city that calls itself "progressive" yet people are still constantly staring at me every time I go out in a dress but at this point I don't really care anymore

[Paula DAngelo]

In the eyes of the law there is not a "semi public" space. A retail establishment, theater, or out on the street in all public, and generally people can take all the pictures and video recordings they want without permission.



Maybe you should have continued to read what I posted, if you had you would have seen that I said that as far as the law is concerned there is no difference between a public space and a semi-public place. What I was saying is that since the space is owned by some entity (semi-private) they have the ability to control what happens. If they say stop taking photos, videos, or any other activity, they have that right and if the person refuses to act according to "their" rules then they have the right to have the offender removed which can include legal means if that is what's needed. The only time the person who's picture is being taken in public/semi-public spaces has legal options is based on how the photo is used, not on the picture being taken.

[susan54]

Things might be different in the UK about public filming or at least in Scotland which has its own legal system. This guy was convicted of filming women to get ideas for his cross dressing but there is no suggestion that he was doing it in their dressing room or under their skirts.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/693486/transvestite-theatre-boss-secretly-filming-women-fashion-tips/

So it might not be legal for people to photograph/film us (or anyone else) in Scotland without our permission.

[KimberlyJean]

Thats good to hear, realizing that I wasn't passing as well as I wanted too was a large barrier for me but I have made it past it.

[Teresa]

Micki,
I'm smiling at your comments as the first time I was early and got chatted up by the projectionist and later in the same show a guy next to me either fell asleep almost resting on me or he was making moves on me , his right knee certainly kept drifting in my direction .

I sat behind a lovely couple to see " First Man " ( Neil Armstrong's story ) , before the show the wife admitted remembering the time when it all happened , I agreed saying , " I guess we are showing our age abit !" The she added , " My husband loves all this stuff !" I replied , " That's great as long as he doesn't start doing a moon walk down the aisle during the performance " She replied , " Don't put any ideas in his head !" We all had a great laugh about it .

Stephanie,
I'm glad you enjoyed the show , I must admit I don't have a problem going to the cinema by myself , my old home town is very safe .

[JenniferMBlack]

The few times it has happened to me I have asked photographer why don't you ask for a picture I might even give you a pose. Then take their pic as they run off.

[Debs]

Presuming your not in the UK, not acceptable here, would have been removed from the theatre with everyone's consent, disgusting

[Rochal Tukque]

When you open your front door all guarantees are off.

[Micki_Finn]

Things might be different in the UK about public filming or at least in Scotland which has its own legal system. This guy was convicted of filming women to get ideas for his cross dressing but there is no suggestion that he was doing it in their dressing room or under their skirts.

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/693486/transvestite-theatre-boss-secretly-filming-women-fashion-tips/

So it might not be legal for people to photograph/film us (or anyone else) in Scotland without our permission.

I feel like there is something missing from that article. It did mention that the women noticed the camera pointed “at their waist and legs”. That sounds like he was trying to get a shot in their skirts. Especially if they were seated.

[Genifer Teal]

Take a photo of them and see how they like it.

[Tracii G]

A Movie theater is a public place.
Who goes there? The public.
A bar or eating establishment may be owned privately but its a public gathering place so anywhere you go people are taking pics so not much you can do.
If you don't like people taking pics in Portland just stage a march and I'm sure the local nut jobs would support you taking the rights away from law abiding citizens.

Personally I think you need to get over yourself.

[Jodie_Lynn]

What if....
What if the "offender was taking a selfie with his date, and you were caught in the background?

I'm not saying he was, but I think that people are becoming used to being 'offended' by the actions or words of others.

I'm not saying that the OP doesn't have the right to feel uneasy, but, she did go out in public dressed, and would be seen by many people. Is the fact that someone took a pic any different from people seeing her? What about traffic cams, or the surveillance cams at ATM's, or any surveillance cams in any establishment that we go into. Are they not also recording your image?

So some doofus took a pic in a public venue, so what? Do you know the guy? Is he going to plaster your pic on Facebook? Are your workmates going to see it and say "Oh sh*t, it's Bob, from Accounting???"

[t-girlxsophie]

Personally I'd rather not guess what they are doing with the pics,best we don't know tbh

Sophie

[Ressie]

Yes, a private place would be a private club or a private party. Any place that's open to the public is a public place. Laws may vary in different places?

I can see how an unexpected photo shoot could seem threatening but we're kind of like rock stars when we dress in public. And some people might feel like paparazzi. I don't know how I'd react if a total stranger took photos of me when stepping out. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of it myself.

[Jodie_Lynn]

>>SNIP<<

but we're kind of like rock stars when we dress in public.

>>SNIP<<

I am definitely stealing this! The quote AND the attitude!
:)