Stupider than my usual questions

[abbiedrake]

So, I've been here 5 months. Not long.
Is it a faux pas here to out one's male persona via use of real name or profile pic?
Reason I ask, is a little while back I signed up to an LGBT group on Meetup that's local and they required a pic of me. Not an avatar. I sent them a pic of 'him' but signed up as Abbie. The organiser seems to care not a jot, even when I made it clear I'd (initially) be attending as 'him' and I signed with 'his' name. Do you ladies maintain a strict separation or is it OK to mix and match?
(Please note I'm firmly not talking TS and use of Dead names...)

[Bobbi46]

Abbie its not a stupid question but depends on how deep one is buried in the spectrum of dressing if like Teresa dressing is 99% part of ones life then of course the use of ones femail name is more than appropriate. My nephew calls me Bobbi as a matter of course despite those odd days when be need rather than desire I have to be in drab.
The levels of acceptance having improved greatly recently and especially within the LGBT movement how one prefers to be addressed matters not one iota.
Answering you question I do not adhere strictly to he separation of my female/male name, it all comes down to societal acceptance.

[Macey]

Abbie, to be fair, I don't have experience with such groups, but at a guess (stupid guess for a not-so-stupid question) I'd say that they probably want a 'proper' photo for vetting purposes. They likely have an interest in keeping out anonymous types who may or may not be trying to join for nefarious reasons. I'd think that they wouldn't care one whit about how you present so long as you're honest. I'd gather it is their way to foster an understanding and supportive community. Even here on this forum there are so many unique and wonderful people in one state of flux or combination in one way or another that it is probably fairly common in other groups for people to present as it suits them while they are figuring it all out.

[Ressie]

You can do whatever you want as long as you don't break any of the forum's rules.

[abbiedrake]

Macey, yeah, I know it was for vetting purposes, but since I was joining under the aegis of being Trans (-vestite, rather than transexual) I wondered if I should post an en femme pic. Well I don't have any. So a pic of Chris had to do. There we go, in case anyone missed my About your Female Name post.
My question really goes side by side with this thread: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?264212-The-feeling-that-you-need-to-tell-someone
Having come out to a long distance friend I was feeling a little more confident in being Abbie. But I'm also fine as Chris. For some, I know that's tantamount to heresy. But I already know it's a simple and central truth for so many, especially in this sub.
Bobbi, sage advice. As is yours Ressie - having only had what 5 posts deleted and wrist-slapped for I don't know if I'm doing OK with the rules. But one endeavours to comply. 😉

[Patience]

If the organizer didn't care, why should you? You're new at this, the others not so much. They've seen it all before.

And "Abbie" could be the, um, abbreviation of a male name.

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Abbie,

As experience has taught me the only stupid question is the one that you DON'T ask. So feel free to ask away and question everything :2c:

Cheers,
Robin

[Ressie]

We have a few MIADs -men with beards and dresses- here that are well established. The FAQs and rules link is at the top of the page and moderators can be quite strict!

[Micki_Finn]

Its up to you and whatever you’re comfortable with. Most people who have met Micki have met male version too. I don’t really try to hide either.

[Majella St Gerard]

Hey, I'm just happy someone actually admitted to asking a stupid question 😜😄😄😄😄

[Patience]

Hey, I'm just happy someone actually admitted to asking a stupid question ����������
More than that. A stupider than usual question. :D

[Teresa]

Abbie,
I guess Bobbi answered for me . Just to add to that , I have commented before that my femme name is derived from my male one so passing a name on is no big deal . I now often use the short version of Terri .

I did have to smile because I had a letter to confim the order for my woodburner , I had given them Terri as my christian name so the top line of my address was , Mrs. Terri H..... .

It's not a stupid question it's more to do with what you are comfortable with , the question is are you happy to continue to use it if you do go further down the TG road ?

[t-girlxsophie]

It's a mixed bag for me,When dressed I obviously want female pronouns to be used,but when at home my stepsons and even my wife slip effortlessly between using my male and female name and i really dont mind.My friend from work when we are chatting at work or txting she will use/call me Sophie.I think it depends on the iindividual and what you yourself are comfortable with

Sophie

[Rochal Tukque]

I think its very relevant. We have a drab lunch group that doesn't dress in their local town so we do lunch in the male with our male names even tho we email each other and attend out of town events in femme and use our femme names. It just the way life works in some places.

[Beverley Sims]

I have no objection to mix and match as long as someone is not trying to out you in some way.

[Teresa]

Bev,
A bit like the chicken and egg situation ! The best solution is out yourself before someone tries to make it difficult for you , looking back it proved to be the best solution , my fist counsellor had the saying, " No secret, no problem !" OK not strictly true but my neighbourhood can't tittle tattle about me because most have seen me !

[abbiedrake]

Hey I ain't chicken, Teresa. 😜
Were it down to me it'd be fine. I stopped giving a crap what people think of me long before I started wearing dresses.
I live with this woman who might object however...