Should I tell my mom?

[TolerantCD]

Is there any advantage in doing so? I still live at home.

[Macey]

So so much of that depends on A) Do you think she'd disapprove, or be an understanding ally, considerate of each others' feelings? And B) Can you trust her to keep a secret if there are others in the house or your lives that might not accept it, and would it be fair to her for you to expect her to keep that secret?

Only you know your mom and your relationship with her. Only you can predict if it would change things between you for the better or worse.

[abbiedrake]

You may have already answered this in your earlier thread.
You fear her knowing you've worn her clothes. She's unlikely to be thrilled. Some here did tell their mothers at a young age, but in my short time here it appears such occurrences are vanishingly infrequent.
Only you can decide. But it sounds unwise from what you've said elsewhere.

[TolerantCD]

Since that post i thought that I could tell her that I’d bought some clothes once out of curiosity and loved it, and that I miss it. If I did that she might not know I have worn her clothes, or she already knows in which case all this is unnecessary

[Majella St Gerard]

Only you know the acceptance levels in your household, deep down you know who you can trust and it's probably your mom. But you have to make that decision and once a secret is told it can not be un-told. Good luck

[KymG]

I did, after long consideration.
It hasnt changed anything but shes not keen to discuss it i find.

[Tracii G]

Since that post i thought that I could tell her that I’d bought some clothes once out of curiosity and loved it, and that I miss it. If I did that she might not know I have worn her clothes, or she already knows in which case all this is unnecessary

Please don't make up a lie thinking you can slip one past your Mom because on down the road she will figure out you lied to her then you may have lost her trust in you.
Why is there this huge push to tell her or any of your family?
What do you think is going to happen if you do tell them?
They don't have to accept it and there is no way you can force them to.

[Micki_Finn]

I have no idea how old you are, and I don’t intend this to sound glib or judgemental, but your recent posts sound like a mess of hormonal confusion. I don’t think you’re even sure of yourself and your mom isn’t going to help you figure that out. Maybe instead tell your mom that you need to speak to a therapist. If you’re in high school there are counselors and as far as I know, most universities offer mental health services as well. Get yourself sorted out before you go complicating things with a possible bad family situation.

[Tracii G]

^^^^^^ Solid advice Micki.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Based on your other posts it sounds like you are living with your family and it is a hostile environment (been there, done that.) If that is the case, telling is a very bad idea.

[ReneeTD]

Not knowing your circumstances, my immediate advice would be, don't. The question of advantage is key. I don't see any advantage to doing so. Err on the side of caution, because it's a Pandora's Box that can't be closed once opened. Once you're out on your own, there won't be a need anyway.

[Crissy 107]

If you are unsure of how she will take it, don’t do it. There should be no rush into this, like others said you can’t take it back.

[Tracii G]

There is no need to rush into anything right now.

[Beverley Sims]

Difficult to advise you you have to establish whether your mother would be accepting to your dressing.

You could try testing her views by using silly statements like I would look good dressed as a girl, etc.

[Patience]

IF you're sure your confession will be reasonably well received, yes. Otherwise, no way.

Besides, you'll be able to answer their questions better when you're had a chance to understand your dressing a bit more as well.

[Bobbi46]

The question to ask yourself is "Does she need to know" if the answer is no then you do not tell her, this is the question I have asked myself many ntimes regarding my grown up kids " do they need to know" the answer comes back to me the same every time NO, there is no need for them to know, its not a burden to me keeping this side of my life secret from them simply because there is the danger of losing them should they know so.
You should approach this very carefully.

[sometimes_miss]

Often, we desparately want to tell someone else about our crossdressing, mostly in an attempt to find someone who will accept us this way. Unfortunately all too often, we ponder this over and over, and wishful thinking gets in the way of rational thoughts; we begin to think of all sorts of reasons why there is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser, how little it really means in the grand scheme of things, and we gently wind up in the pink fog of believing what we want to believe, without considering reality.

If you wonder whether you should tell someone about your crossdressing, in this case, your mom, consider the worst possible results; in this case, perhaps getting kicked out of the house, having all your relatives told, and none of them being supportive. If that happens, eventually others will find out too, and you'll be 'out' whether you want to be, or not. If you can accept that, then proceed. If not, think again why you want so much to tell her. What will she get out of it? What benefits? Probably none; there is no up side for someone to be told that a family member is a crossdresser; there's nothing good that they can do with that information. There isn't a population of people out there just desperately waiting to happily find out that their family member is a crossdresser, so they can announce it to their friends, relatives, co-workers, and the world.

So, basically you're thinking of telling her, so YOU'LL feel better. There is no benefit to her at all. You're dumping your secret, on her, hoping she'll help you with it.

Probably not a good idea.

[Tracii G]

So, basically you're thinking of telling her, so YOU'LL feel better. There is no benefit to her at all. You're dumping your secret, on her, hoping she'll help you with it.

Probably not a good idea.[/QUOTE]

Exactly right.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Is there any advantage in doing so? I still live at home.

FWIW, I think you should figure out what it is you want, and who you are before you go confessing to your mother.

From your other posts, you seem quite confused, and terrified. Suggestions have been offered, which you've rejected due to your fear.

Personally, I would strongly advise counseling before jumping to actions which you may regret.

[susan54]

Everyone's circumstances are different. How one mother behaves is not how another behaves. Only you can judge that. What Sometimes Miss said about what works for you is wise advice but also think what works for her. I can tell you of my own experience. I didn't tell my mother - she came home early one day and found me in a dress. She comes from a traditional background and left education at 14 so she lacked the experience to deal with it and became distressed because she thought the way she had brought me up was at fault. After a few days, though, she seemed to mellow and became relaxed about me wearing women's clothes in her presence. Even though she was a VERY stylish woman she didn't feel inclined to pass on any of this wisdom, though. When she came to stay in my house a few decades later she was fine with me appearing in a skirt or dress (with bra and boobs but no make up or wig). So it can work but it might cause your mother a lot of angst. Think about her as well as yourself.

[Rachelakld]

No.
If she's in tune, she will know anyway (or if she does your laundry).
Sometimes, tolerance means not dwelling on it, ignoring it, but push it in her face, and she may react badly.

[Cheshire girl]

You need to think how likely it is she will be accepting. Could you test the water a bit first? Maybe wear something a little feminine like a blouse and some light makeup to see how she reacts. I’d be wary about upsetting her so tread carefully. If you do gain full acceptance the benefits would be huge.

[BLUE ORCHID]

How old is your mom, Will her heart take that much stress.

See line #4 in my signature! >Orchid ...:daydreaming:+..