out of the dark into the light

[Leasa Wells]

Hi all

I have been on this site for quite some time. I am here most days reading the posts sometime in the early morning before day light. Rarely have I offered a new post or replied to them. I have a very busy schedule often working 12-18 hour days.
Reading the posts over those years have open my eyes to a lot of who I am, acceptance is part of that. That was not always the case as many of you have experienced in your life time.

In February I started therapy, and last weekend attend my first gender meeting in the area. I am hoping to attend my first ever pride march next month. I have made appointment to meet with the doctor about hormones. Living in the closet the anxiety it created has taken its toll on me. I need to breath; I need to reach out and escape feeling of being trapped.

My closet is full of feminine clothing as I have not purged in years yet there just isn’t anymore room.

My SO knows about all this part of me an accept me as I am. I don’t always express my inner desire to her as I should its still a process for me.
Where this will take me and how it will evolve is not clear, moving backward is not an option either.
I want to thank everyone for being here, I hope to share more.

Love you all
Lisa

[Beverley Sims]

Lisa,
I hope the light at the end of the tunnel shines bright for you.

[Leasa Wells]

thank you so much Beverly

[Lana Mae]

We are here for you, Lisa! Wishing you the best on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[Angie G]

I hope you find all your looking for in your .journey :hugs:
Angie

[BTWimRobin]

Wishing you all the best on your journey. Hugs, Robin

[kimdl93]

So many years we endure, assess, fret and speculate about ourselves and how the world might responds.

[Leasa Wells]

thank you ladies, I am blessed to have you in my corner.

There is a Pride March in Northhampton Ma in May that I am using to venture out. They say 30,000 people attend, whats one more person. If someone on the forum reads this maybe they are attending too and wish to connect up. Its alway good to have company and share the fun.

Lisa

[GretchenM]

Looks to me you are doing the right things in your movement. You want more freedom and to escape the cloistered life of only living part of who you are and reserving the rest for private times. It is good that your SO is at least accepting of who you are. Keep moving, don't go back if you can possibly avoid it, and you will find the place where the expression of who you are fits who you are inside. A great deal of comfort will appear and you will feel a contentment and wholeness you may have never felt before. It's magical. I don't think anybody can predict what that condition is; we have to search and experiment until we hit the center of the target. I wish you the best in your search. It is not easy and can get bumpy at times, but it is so wonderful when you find that place.

[docrobbysherry]

Altho we sometimes feel things never change. But, that's not true. Everyone and everything is constantly changing.:thumbsup:

If u aren't, can't, there's a problem------:straightface:

[Leasa Wells]

thank you Gretchen, made me reflect on flying, Please be seated, buckle up the flight is about to start!

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Hi Sherry, I have read lot of your postings your a very positive role model.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa :hugs:, Congratulations on seeing the light and taking the big steps. >Orchid ...:daydreaming:+..

[Leasa Wells]

Thank you Orchid it’s the steps before me That helps me do the same.

[DMichele]

Lisa,
I can relate to your journey. It was not much fun living life in a closet and hiding one's true identify, etc. I have been enlightened, encouraged and indeed emboldened by the members here, and I am very thankful for coming here. Today I am happier and more alive because I came to accept my gender identity.

I hope you find your true identity; and allow light and happiness into your life; and that your SO is supportive. Best wishes on your journey going forward!

[Leasa Wells]

Dmichele,

Thank you it’s ladies like youstepping forward, making the path for others easier.

Lisa