View Full Version : May your CD peeps see you in boy disguise?
michelleddg
04-22-2019, 12:49 PM
For me, the answer is quite generally yes. The big majority of my CD peeps whom I've spent time with dolled up have seen me in boy disguise. Could be time constraints, e.g., work week lunch meet up, or spending time with a peep when it wasn't convenient to get dolled up, or as part of the transformation process e.g., group makeovers, or when engaged in boy activities e.g., I limit working out to boy disguise.
However, a couple of the peeps I've hung with would freak out if I saw them in boy disguise, even though they're fine with seeing me in boy disguise. No problem, of course, just not how I roll.
What do you think? Hugs, Michelle
docrobbysherry
04-22-2019, 12:57 PM
I have discovered when I attended a trans gathering in drab? I was shunned by many of them. Including a number of which I thot of as friends!
My conclusion: Many don't feel u belong unless your dressed!:battingeyelashes:
mykell
04-22-2019, 01:25 PM
they do see me sometimes, i dont leave the house dressed out of respect for the Mrs. i will dress in the car (kind of have it down to a science) but most times i will have an outing before my volunteer time or after and venture out in the wild with the vanilla folks.
just had a big day last week. home depot, mall, second hand shop, gas.
on one occasion i volunteered and did not dress.....someone who has only seen me dressed came to the club and when she saw a man asked, oh im looking for mykell, which i replied here i am...she had quite a puzzled look on her face, she thought i had transitioned already, which at the moment is a tiny blip on the radar.
Meghan4now
04-22-2019, 01:30 PM
In the words of Popeye, "I yam whats I yam".
Given the opportunity to meet friend, but with limited time or proper resource availability, absolutely. Meghan is only part time anyway, so what the heck. Besides, letting your bud meet the Dude side can provide an opportunity to get valuable feedback on your skills and presentation.
Micki_Finn
04-22-2019, 01:32 PM
I think most people who know Micki either knew me already or met “me” sometime later. The real fun is when people meet Micki first, then “me” and I have to tell them who I am.
Tracii G
04-22-2019, 01:52 PM
Micki that has happened to me too.
I went to my support group meeting in guy mode several years ago and said hi to one of the MtF members and she looked puzzled and asked who I was and how did I know her.
I told her and she said there is no way you are her and walked off and wouldn't talk to me.
Nobody at the meeting would even speak to me and looked at me like I was a pervert.
I knew then I was done with that group.
Talk about non acceptance from an LGBT/trans group huh?
I did meet Meghan4now in dude mode one time.
Zoeytgtx
04-23-2019, 12:03 AM
Michelle:
Only a very small handful (less than five) have met me in both boy and girl mode. I feel more comfortable that the majority of my CD friends know me only as Zoey.
Beverley Sims
04-23-2019, 03:31 AM
I am as concerned about those that know Beverley don't get to see me cross dressed.
I am sure they would wonder why I want to dress up as a boy. :-)
abbiedrake
04-23-2019, 03:43 AM
In my case it's a hypothetical right now, but I'd think my friend's comfort and the reasoning would be key.
I'd like to think a CD friend would be OK with a little male company if I wouldn't dress or was not of a mind to. Likewise I'd like to think I'd be OK being en femme with a CD who was in drab.
Might even be funny having a man leap to my defence if anyone hassled me.
It's dispiriting, though unsurprising, that some find it an issue. What a world.
alwayshave
04-23-2019, 05:48 AM
My local meetup is usually in a hotel, I have said hello to the ladies in drab while checking in. No issues.
Jillian Faith
04-23-2019, 06:37 AM
Yes 99.9% of my Jill circle of friends have seen me in both modes and presentations. Some are quite shocked when thy meet my males side as I look 10-15 years younger when presenting as Jill.
April Rose
04-23-2019, 07:32 AM
At TCNE the policy is "come however you feel comfortable" so it is quite common for newcomers and others to attend the open house nights not dressed. I have also been to lunch with other members while in drab.
Nikki A.
04-23-2019, 09:39 AM
Most of the people that know Nikki also have seen in drab. I am who I am and it all depends on what I decide to wear. Yes there are some friends that see me much more often as Nikki and vice a versa. Then again there are friends I am not out to and have no idea.
Majella St Gerard
04-23-2019, 09:46 AM
When ever I show up in man mode to places I normally go to crossdressed, most people do a double take and say oh it's Gerri. 😛
I only hang out with them at GNO, so no they haven't. Though most of them have seen my pictures of non-binary mode vs the girl mode I wear to the GNO. One of them attended in drab one time and didn't even realize until the end of the night. I wouldn't have a problem with it and have a hard time guessing how they would feel about it.
sometimes_miss
04-23-2019, 10:10 AM
Nope. Nothing to connect my crossdressing to my outside life. Remember, the number of people it takes to keep a secret, is ONE. I will not make myself susceptible to the well wishing of other crossdressers who might slip up, or suddenly decide for me that it would be better that I'm out.
Teresa
04-23-2019, 10:51 AM
Michelle,
I find I'm far more comfortable only being known and seen as Teresa , in my new home town that list includes my GP , my letting agent , my optician , I could go on . If it freaks people out , they have the problem not me . The more I'm out the less I understand people not understanding and accepting me but I'm not sure if I like the term disguise , it suggests trying to fool people ,to me it's not an act .
Phoebe Reece
04-23-2019, 04:42 PM
Almost all my CD friends have seen me in both guy and gal mode. It's a non issue for me and my friends.
Jodie_Lynn
04-23-2019, 05:03 PM
Yes, a few of my GF's have seen me in boy mode, and I them. Frequently, we will meet up to get ready for an evening out, and it's convenient for folks to go to the meeting spot straight from work.
And I have to say that it's a lot of fun for 3 or 4 girls to get ready & help each other get dressed. Not talking 'funny stuff', but it's a great help to have someone zip up your dress or help tighten your corset.
greeneyes
04-23-2019, 05:20 PM
We have Too! of course one was by accident we were at the same festival! unplanned! Meaghan is the only one to see Joni in drab besides me! LOL!
AllieSF
04-23-2019, 07:47 PM
As has been said above, "I am who I am" no matter how dressed. My outward appearance is only part of me. All my close friends have seen me both ways and a lot of my casual acquaintance friends like bartenders, owners and customers have too. But those few times were due to circumstances that called for it. Now I am full time, so there is really only one basic presentation, that of a woman, with varying outfits to fit the time, venue, occasion and weather.
Meghan4now
04-24-2019, 09:38 AM
We have Too! of course one was by accident we were at the same festival! unplanned! Meaghan is the only one to see Joni in drab besides me! LOL!
Well, I actually went, hoping to run into you. Stalk much? At least it proves I listen once in a while ;)
Well I don't have any CD friends (except you all of course) but there now some people in the world like my nephew's girlfriend who have never seen me any other way. Which feels very odd to me but very nice too. This is just what I look like, to them.
Ressie
04-24-2019, 04:13 PM
I've been seen in male mode by some, and I've seen a few in male mode too. Even shared dressing rooms with CD friends a few times. But it's fun to keep the male self a secret if possible. And there are some CDs that seem to refuse to be seen in male mode around their CD peeps.
Patience
04-26-2019, 11:47 PM
Most of the people who know CD me for the most part know me in drab, as I've only been out for a year.
I did have an interesting experience last year, though: I was en femme at a pub trivia event when a non-cd male friend introduced one of his old GG friends to me. The next day, I visited my old friend's house in drab for a party (coming from work) and met the other friend again. I greeted her only to get a blank look until she finally realized who I was and hugged me.
I always knew that my male and female selves were perceived as two completely different people, but this event drove it home to me.
Sandy Clifton
04-27-2019, 03:45 PM
My short answer is "yes" - I've been in boy mode amidst other CDs
for pragmatic reasons when circumstances warrant, and haven't
shied away from socializing in boy mode with folks I know via Sandy.
However, my openness only extends to people I've met in person -
though I've posted some carefully cropped/posed boy mode pics,
I politely decline requests from social media friends for pics of Sandy's
other half; I'm not prepared to go that far online.
t-girlxsophie
04-28-2019, 07:23 PM
Used to attend CD weekends and it always raised a few laughs the last morning when what before was a sea of long hair was replaced by bald heads,crew cuts etc there involved a lot of reaquanting ourselves eith each other in our drab modes, I never ever had any issues with anyone over this.Biggest change was in the way we greeted each other where as the days before there was hugs this was replaced by firm handshakes
A lot of the time when I go out i'll maybe meet at my friends places to get changed its no big deal at all
Sophie
Jaylyn
04-29-2019, 10:00 PM
No peeps for me only my wife has seen me both dressed and usually not dressed. I would love to have another dresser close enough that we could dress n maybe enjoy a club somewhere a long ways from our town.....
Territx
05-03-2019, 04:26 PM
Michelle and Sandy have both seen "my twin" -- Michelle on multiple occasions when she had some spur-of-the-moment freedom and gave me a call. I was the designated photographer for Michelle, Sandy, Julia and a GG on one outing -- though I would love to have been dressed, I was fortunate that none of them appeared to hold it against me. :)
michelleddg
05-04-2019, 09:19 AM
Yuppers, my bestie Terri and I have done most all of the permutations. We live a couple of miles apart and so share neighborhoods, government representatives, Hurricane Harvey impact. We're the same age.
Terrence has met me a couple of times when I was dolled up for happy hour. She makes a darn nice-looking fella in boy disguise. I was able to reciprocate last winter meeting Terri for drinks while I was in boy disguise. We've done girls dinners a couple of times now. And, we've met up with the ladies a few times. The landmark Terri refers to above was an enchanted evening with Terrence escorting four ladies - Sandy, Julia, me, and the GG she refers to above was my wife!
Terri holds a high position in my hierarchy. She always returns home in boy disguise, so has been to my house a couple of times to deconstruct after a girls evening. That privilege requires a lot of trust and is reserved exclusively for besties.
What we're missing is the boy/boy outing. How about it, Terrence, what say we head to the Sports Bar where we can burp, scratch, curse, eat deep fried beige food and consume our body weight in beer? Hugs, Michelle
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