Sister in law helps out .

[Teresa]

I would never believe such a short time ago that I could be in this situation now . My sister in law called me yesterday to see how I was , I asked if she was free if to help me checkout some furniture in a large out of town store . So she picked me up today and we headed off , I wanted to find sofas and chairs so we had a great walk round trying out different ones . I chose one which I thought was fine so we called the sales lady over and checked out colourway choices , it's the first time I've shopped with my SIL and I think she was surprised how comfortable I was with the SA . I asked if she had time to go into the clothes and accessories section because I'd seen a nice cream handbag on special offer on my previous visit but annoyingly I'd missed the half price offer so I left it .

It was a great afternoon out we just chatted like two ladies but of course there is a down side as my wife doesn't know her sister is meeting me as Teresa , she did know we were meeting up and assumed I was in male mode .

[Macey]

Teresa, you're just about full time now, no? Glad that your SIL is accepting and helpful, your ex must be furious over that!

[Bobbi46]

teresa, Another lovely time to look back on as a fond memory.

[Teresa]

Macey,
My wife doesn't know as far as I'm aware , my SIL hasn't told her and I'm not intervening in that situation , we're separated so it's not my problem . Yes I am full time in my new home town , I told my SIL that I'm not comfortable going back to male mode and also what femme name I'm using , as she said you're still Terry but now with an spelt as Terri .

Bobbi,
I did ring her later in the evening to chat over my furniture choice and thank her for helping me with a second opinion , I'm not sure if my wife will be a little hurt or happy that her sister is meeting me . I can't worry over it , I hope it doesn't cause an upset between them when she does find out but I'm just grateful that her side of the family haven't cut me off .

[alwayshave]

Teresa, Sounds like a great time with your SIL. At this point is your ex's opinion really an issue? She has to know the reason for the break and that your dressing was not going away.

[Teresa]

Jamie ,
It was suppose to be an amicable and mutual separation over my TG issues . My wife has got over this situation with my daughter but not without some harsh words between them but my daughter didn't back down , I can't say how happy my wife is but that again isn't my problem .

My daughter has bought tickets to see a live show at the end of May , I have been out with her before with her daughter but not as a couple to see an evening show .

I should add a footnote about the issue of my name , I hadn't discussed this one with my SIL before we went out but she continued to call me Terry/Terri in front of the SA , so again I'm relieved I stuck to the easy route of the simple name change .

[leona lee]

What a nice day beening out and about, hope I can do that some day.

[phili]

Yay, Terri! Sounds like life is normalizing around you!

[Jaylyn]

Teresa your SIL must be a wonderful lady to help you out and sounds very accepting. I. Glad that she is reaching out to you and checking on you as that shows her character as well.
Sorry you missed the half price bag sale though.

[Stephanie47]

OK, I have to ask since on another thread the debate or question is what constitutes femininity? "It was a great afternoon out we just chatted like two ladies." Didn't you chat like two human beings? Do men and women chat differently?

[Teresa]

Stephanie ,
How often do you chat with another guy about makeup and handbags ?

Jaylyn,
I did go back and found another bag by Pavers in cream which was a better deal than the one I missed . I really did think when I separated that my SIL would have nothing to do with me , so not only has she kept an eye on me she has taken the next big step of meeting and accepting me as Teresa .

[Amy Lynn3]

Teresa, I envy you and the relationship with your sister in law. I had a similar relationship with my Mother in law, but she passed not long after we became girlfriends I sure miss her in more ways that one.

[Teresa]

Amy,
I'm very lucky to have the same type of realtionship with my daughter and her mother in law , as a group we've taken my granddaughter out on trips .

[Helen_Highwater]

Teresa,

Have you discussed with your SIL just how she will handle things when, and it's very likely to be when not if, your ex finds out about her sis meeting up with you dressed?

Given the animosity shown by your ex to you there's a chance this could escalate into a wider family dispute where you're seen rightly or wrongly as being the villain of the piece.

Don't get me wrong. It's lovely that your SIL is showing such acceptance but there's a bigger and longer game to be played, the ultimate goal being to see you fully accepted by all close family members and hopefully for your ex to soften her position as well.

All I'm saying is tread carefully and don't let any immediate euphoria or short term gain cloud your judgement.

[Teresa]

Helen,
You may have missed that point in one of my earlier threads but when I met her in the M&S coffee shop a very old friend tapped her on the shoulder to say hello , I was paying for the drinks and just turned and smiled she, said hello so I replied . Afterwards when we sat down I asked very tactfully if the friend might have a problem , she replied , " I don't have a problem so I'm sure she won't , she'll just think you were a female friend I was having coffee with ".

Her daughter knows we meet up as my daughter does , I can't say for certain if my daughter has told my son but that is up to her , she is an adult . OK it is only a matter of time before my wife gets to know but we're back to the situation of assuming she is in control of everything , she will have to realise we are all adults making our own decisions she has no right to try and rule everyone's life . I do feel my SIL has some sympathy for me she has had stck ups with my wife and knows what she can be like .

[Angie G]

That's great Terri your so lucky to have such a sil. :hugs:
Angie

[Beverley Sims]

Another step closer to that full time feeling.