Becoming more comfortable.

[KymG]

I occasionally go for a short drive dressed.
Tonight i found that when i walked to the car i didnt really care if the neighbours saw me.
I often do the post a letter thing, and i also found that when i parked up and got out, i normally think "what if someone comes", but i just didnt really care. I would maybe pass in the dark. I hope.
Certainly from a distance.
The only thing that i do worry about is having a car that people would recognise but hey.

Oh well, I enjoy it and it doesnt harm anyone.
Its just clothes and make up right?

[Micki_Finn]

Exactly. You’re not hurting anyone, and the worst you can usually expect is a funny look or a chuckle behind your back. Just remember, you’re not doing anything wrong.

[audreyinalbany]

I"m slowly getting better at that myself. Started offset daring to go out the door dressed. Gradually, I started walking to the car in the driveway but only at night.; usually after standing in the doorway for twenty minutes or so trying to work up my courage. But I'm getting to the point.not quite there yet...where I just walk out and get in the car and drive away. I still always check to see if the neighbors are home...fi they're not, I'm pretty brave. if they are...then not so much

[Cheshire girl]

From these little steps you will hopefully progress one day to feeling confident to go out in public and mix in mainstream society if that’s what you want. It may not be.it gets easier all the time especially if you blend in and look good. I wouldn’t be happy to be sniggered at. People do when they see someone who isn’t convincing.Neighbours can be a problem.

[Richelle423]

Hey here in the north east USA it’s early to mid spring I’ve been going into my back yard wearing athletic capris with no one around till today when I went outside I saw a couple of neighbors sitting outside. They didn’t seem to care.they’re in their early 20’s from what I can guess. They seemed to be more interested with their phones than anything.i started working in my backyard with my SO no problem so far.

[Allisa]

Careful Kym, that "I didn't really care if the neighbors saw me" thinking will have you out and about in the daylight and in full view for all to see. I don't really care is the mind set of a confident person and that will have you interacting with the muggles as your femme self.

[Asew]

My mama used to say: "Practice makes perfect."

[bronwyneve]

At that stage as well. Dressing is part of who I am. I am hardly passable but to make an effort.

[Robertacd]

It gets easier every time. Once you stop caring about what those other people think. You will find everything you do that much more enjoyable.

[KrissyP]

Many of us have experienced something similar as we started to get "out." I too used to go stand on my porch in the dark or make a brave walk out to the curb at night making sure no one else was about. I can remember being really brave and walking all the way around the house at one point. Still remember vividly getting a cheap wig and one evening climbing into my car and going to the local grocery store. Sat in the parking space for about 5 minutes and then walked inside.

I was amazed at how little people noticed, and though I didn't stay long, it was a seminal moment for me. Once home, I stared at myself in the mirror and took a picture to memorialize my first time out. What a thrill, and I couldn't get the smile off my face.

Keep taking small steps KymG and love the sharing. It helps us all to know we are not alone in the process. Cheers.

[Helen_Highwater]

Kym,

How often has it been written that the more you go out the easier, and enjoyable, it gets.

The heart rate slows, we get control of our breathing, sure there's still that little bit of adrenaline but that's good to.

Take it steady, your confidence will grow and that helps enormously as you become more relaxed you blend in more. No longer furtively scurrying about but walking as someone who has a right to be there. Owning the situation.

Carry on, stay calm and things will go from strength to strength.

[abbiedrake]

Having not (yet) ventured out en femme I used to consider these threads hypothetical and filed them under 'good advice for whenever the day'. But it occurred to me that there was a time that I was paranoid about someone discovering I was wearing knickers (long before I started dressing more fully). There was the fission of the taboo about it along with the fear sure. But it's just normal now. So I guess in some small measure I do relate.
Good for you, Kym

[Sidney]

Getting ready to turn 73, dont know where the time has gone. I do most of the cooking and shopping in our house. My daily wear now is panties, sometimes bralette under fem tshirt, fem skinny jeans, black kneehigh fem socks with plain black matte finish ballet flats. No makeup or wig and a mustache for as long as I can remember. Obviously I'm not trying to pass, just being me. I live in redneck deep south Mississippi and people DO notice. So far after years of dressing this way I have not had a single negative reaction. Ya, some guys will avoid eye contact but the woman mostly smile, say hello or compliment me on an item of clothing I'm wearing. I may vary footwear with womens colored tennis shoes. I dress conservative/nutral and enjoy myself. But I believe people notice. I really dont care anymore. Now the wife, another story but she puts up with me. LOL. Love that woman to death.

[Eemz]

That's great Kym. You're chipping away at those fears bit by bit. I live in an apartment building and I still remember the first time I pushed myself to open my door without checking the corridor through the spyhole first. My blood pressure was off the charts. Now I don't think twice about it.

[suzanne]

Right on, Sidney. Life is too short to go through it in clothes that don't make you happy. I'm glad to know you're not facing any really negative reactions in Mississippi.

[KymG]

It certainly doesnt scare me as much as it used to.
On the other hand I dont get quite the same thrill from it either.

[Michaela Jane]

I have only ever left the house dressed and ventured into my back yard. Then, I was wearing a denim skirt and a cami top. I would dearly love to put on one of my dresses and wig and go for a drive. I would probably be ok, after all, when we are driving, we are watching traffic and not people (unless they are walking in the road). I would be mindful that, although we are not hurting anyone, there are plenty of angry people out there who could, and might well, hurt us.
https://www.wral.com/two-women-charged-with-assault-on-transgender-person-at-glenwood-south-bar/18110722/

[AllieSF]

That will happen Kym. The more frequent it becomes, the more routine it can become too. Not for all, but for some. If you feel comfortable being you, that is wonderful. Sharing it with others is even better, especially when they are friendly strangers. That is something that has always made my more than frequent (now daily) outings enjoyable. I love people and conversations, and the best way to enjoy that is out and about. Good luck in the future.

[Ozark]

Getting ready to turn 73, dont know where the time has gone... Now the wife, another story but she puts up with me. LOL. Love that woman to death.

Just turned 70 here, I usually wear chic elastic waist shorts, or basic edition, panties and a fishing shirt. I got the same kind of wife.

[HollyGreene]

When I first started going out, it was usually under cover of darkness. I would drive to the cliffs or to another part of the city and go for a walk. At first, I was really self-conscious about it, and if I saw somebody coming the other way, I would cross the road, or step into the shadows of some trees, or turn back.
After a few outings, I realised that if I had been noticed lurking in the shadows or behaving erratically, I was attracting more attention to myself than if I just walked on by.
So after that, I decided to be more confident about it, and it made a huge difference. Only on one or two occasions has anybody stopped and stared. Most people just carried on without (apparently) noticing.
So that's the key. Look confident and nobody will notice. Look tense or behave strangely and you'll be noticed.
In fact, behaving erratically during the hours of darkness might result in an unwelcome visit by your local constabulary.

After many further outings, nobody really notices me. In fact on one occasion, I was walking down a street to my car, when one of two women on the other side of the street, called "Hey Sarah", as she had mistaken me for somebody she knew. I simply turned and said "Sorry, I'm not Sarah". The woman apologised and walked on. I think her mistake might have been fuelled by alcohol, but I still got a buzz from not only being mistaken for a woman, but one she thought she knew.
I continued walking with an extra spring in my step.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you get to a stage where you just go out whichever way you present.

The only thing with me, I do have to shave sometimes before I touch up my makeup. :-)

[Patience]

I normally think "what if someone comes", but i just didnt really care.I think that too from time to time.

I guess it’s flattering in a way, but I’d rather they didn’t do it near me.

[SugarLinda]

I occasionally go for a short drive dressed.
Tonight i found that when i walked to the car i didnt really care if the neighbours saw me.
I often do the post a letter thing, and i also found that when i parked up and got out, i normally think "what if someone comes", but i just didnt really care. I would maybe pass in the dark. I hope.
Certainly from a distance.
The only thing that i do worry about is having a car that people would recognise but hey.

Oh well, I enjoy it and it doesnt harm anyone.
Its just clothes and make up right?

Getting out as woman is one of my wishes.i think your looks is nobody s business.if I encountered an incident like this Probably I couldnt care .i could walk to my way with a little smile . Although
my choice would probably be remote places ;)

[BTWimRobin]

Patience, You have me in stitches :lol2::laughing::rofl::roflmao:

[KymG]

I meant what if somebody comes along!
As in when im out of the car!

[Patience]

So did we, Kym!

What did you think we meant? :devil:

[suzanne]

Holly gets it best of all. Lurking and ducking into the shadows attracts suspicion. Owning it and walking tall doesn't put the muggles into high alert. Even if you don't really feel confident, fake it until you make it and you'll accumulate enough positive experiences to make you truly confident.

[Helen_Highwater]

Getting out as woman is one of my wishes.i think your looks is nobody s business.if I encountered an incident like this Probably I couldnt care .i could walk to my way with a little smile . Although
my choice would probably be remote places ;)

Linda,

So many, me inc, have started with dark deserted places. It's only after you've ventured out in daylight and walked amongst the muggles that you realise that being alone on a dark street or park, anywhere, isn't the safest thing to do.

Ask yourself this, where is a GG more likely to be attacked? In the middle of a busy shopping centre in broad daylight or on a dark road late at night.

Yes it takes confidence, yes it's scary but I can tell you from experience I feel way safer out shopping than walking along a road at night.

What you'll find is many, me included, will recommend finding a social group near you and going there. Meeting others will give you a huge confidence boost.

[Maid_Marion]

Yes, shopping in my area is safe because the towns depend on tax revenue to fund the police departments. And the landlords for the stores pay a lot of taxes. The nearest mall encourages people to take their morning walks in the mall before the stores open.

[Elizabeth1980]

Thanks for that article. I think that police may not always be sympathetic towards the gender-nonconforming person as well.

- - - Updated - - -

(I mean the article in post 17, from Michaela Jane).

[SugarLinda]

Right!
Both are different .im afraid dark scary quit places too .
Its not abiut which modes we are .everyones afraid from there ..
Sorry for my quick reply .

[Mickitv]

My first time out was in a car also. However, just wouldn't you know had to go to the bathroom. Oh, well took a chance went into a semi crowded bar and went to the ladies room. Did what I had to do and left with no problems. Loved every minute of it.

[KimberlyJean]

Contrary to your fight or flight reflex a busy venue will hide you better than an empty one. Think about it, if there are 20 people walking toward you who do you focus on? If there is one person? Dark roads and places are unsafe and you stand out 100 times more. The best you can do is own it. You have as much right to be there as anyone else.

[ellbee]

I would be mindful that, although we are not hurting anyone, there are plenty of angry people out there who could, and might well, hurt us.
https://www.wral.com/two-women-charged-with-assault-on-transgender-person-at-glenwood-south-bar/18110722/

Obviously fake news.

Don't you know that only *men* can be physical & sexual predators?!?


Sorry, doesn't fit the narrative.

We'll just sweep this one under the rug -- you know, where all the other ones are. :shush:

[Patience]

Patience, You have me in stitches :lol2::laughing::rofl::roflmao:
Thank you, but I'm not sure why. I wasn't making a cutting remark.