Relating to the guys

[Abraxas]

It's story time!
I was just wondering how you guys relate to other guys (GMs, that is). Are most of your friends male? Do they treat you like one of the boys? And how do they relate to you? Is gender an issue?

Tell me a story, folks! :)
I'll go first.
When I hang out with my buddies, we all sit around getting drunk, gunning cigarettes, and headbang to whatever's in the stereo. All the guys (myself included) have no problem leaving the bathroom door open when taking a leak, even sometimes sharing the toilet (or else we just do it outside like the barbarians we are). We make fun of each other, call each other names, get in water fights, etc.
But there's another side to it all, too. Now this crowd I hang out with is male and female, but it's like there is no difference between the sexes on any level. These are young people, 18-23 years old or thereabouts... Occasionally we'll all sit around and watch scenes from "Last of the Mohicans" and this one guy friend of mine will get all emotional and talk about how one of the characters reminds him of his girlfriend. Or sometimes one guy will grab another and start dancing with him. The guys grab each others crotches, kiss each other on the cheek, hug... One of my friends has even been known to kiss every single person at a given party (well over 30 people sometimes) on the lips when he gets drunk. We've all had really deep conversations with each other, revealing our *gasp* feelings and all that, and none of my guy friends think any of this is weird.
Is that typical male behaviour? I don't really know, but I think it's pretty cool.
So, that's my group of friends in a nutshell, how about you guys?

[CaptLex]

So my friends at uni treat me like a guy.

Lex, are these male or female friends, or a mix of both? Either way, it sounds like your situation is definitely looking up - I'm happy for you.

My story is that I would love to make male friends, but there aren't many situations for that for me. I work at a law firm where I'm part of the support staff, which is mostly female. These are the people I mostly socialize with - lunch, after-dinner drinks, etc. There are a few men in the support staff and I've befriended some of them, but I'm sure they see me as female, and don't think to include me in any of their "boy" activities. And I don't feel comfortable just inviting myself, although if I see one having lunch in the cafeteria, I'll usually join him.

My best friend is my cousin who is a gay man, and the one person I feel most comfortable with in the whole world. We go out together about once a week, take vacations together and visit each other's homes to just hang out or watch television. Actually, he doesn't have any male friends either, although he says he would love some, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. :p

I have several female friends that I've had for years and years that I either work with or used to work with. I'm not uncomfortable with them because we're of the same age group and we have several things in common: kids, parents that drive us crazy, and work-related topics. We also usually discuss world events and other relevant topics, but if they were the type of women that would only want to talk about makeup and clothing, we wouldn't be friends. :rolleyes:

Like I said, I would love to cultivate male friendships, but there just aren't that many opportunities for me. On the other hand, there are a handful of male attorneys at work that stop by my desk and discuss movies, sports, and other topics just about every day (and the other staff frequently question why they're so friendly with me), so maybe these are my male friendships, but we don't socialize outside the office.

As a kid I had both male and female friends, but definitely more male friends than the other girls. I was just remembering the other day that when I was in high school, if I met a cool guy I wanted to be friends with (but was not romantically interested in), I would ask him if I could "adopt" him. I thought they wouldn't necessarily want to hang out with a girl, so I would say something like, "I don't have any brothers and I always wanted one, can I adopt you as my brother"? I never thought it would work, but for some reason they would always say, "Sure, okay." :cool:

I adopted about six "brothers" in high school, and I know these guys saw me as one of them because they would discuss things in front of me that they wouldn't discuss in front of any of the other girls - and "talk trash" about the other girls in front of me, without fear that I would repeat what they said. At my last high school reunion one of them introduced me to his wife as his sister, and she said, "I thought I knew all your sisters." It warmed my heart that he still thought of me that way. :happy:

Abraxas, your friends sound very cool. Maybe it's a generational thing, but I just don't see my friends, male or female, being as free and open as yours. Sounds like a fun group.

[Fainne the King]

I've always had more guy friends than girl friends, even as a little kid. In high school I had a group of friends who were a mix of boys and girls, and I was treated like one of the guys. I have my guy friends tell me all the time "you're so cool, you're just like a guy, etc." At work, I'm the only girl who works in the kitchen with a bunch of tough guys, and I'm as tough as any of them. I have some girl friends, but they're generally tomboys anyways. I can't stand girly girls. To me, I like having guy friends better because they're more open, they're not concerned with drama all the time, and we have more in common.

[mistunderstood]

Most of my friends are women but the guy friends I do have are on diffrent level. They are more stable and far deeper than the women. In high school I was only girl in the shop classes i was takeing and they thought it was cool I was there. When they had fights with girl friends they would ask me what they did wrong and how to fix it or if they was going to give a gift what i thought about the gift. Tell truth they were like best friend in school.

[Deborah757]

Maybe the typical male behavior I knew at that age is outdated since that was back in the late 70's and early 80's so take this for what its worth.

Most of what you described is pretty typical in the USA. But grabbing someone’s crotch and kissing other guys on the lips, or anywhere else for that matter, is definitely taboo. This just is not done.

[Kimberley]

I agree with Deborah in regards to male behaviour in general.

I am a few years older than the Cap'n and I agree. The times have changed; for the better I think, but we (he and I) are still trapped in that 60's/early 70's mindset in our generations. Crappy.

Like you guys, my friends were mostly on the opposite side of the fence, well at least sometimes. Even today, I have only one GOOD male friend and a couple of female ones. Still, I do relate to the girls much better. So with the tables turned, the story seems to be about the same.

Very interesting. Good thread Abraxis.

Kimberley.

[Gabriel]

Nice. I want one of those barbarian friends! j/k :cheeky:

Nah. Nothing to impress. None of my friends is regarding me as a guy, because I never force them to. I always say to people, use whatever pronoun you want. The only kick I get is when I pass to strangers in daily life. Two female classmates in my last semester were going out of their way to "cover" for me, but that was it. I appreciated their effort, though. :cool:

[sparro]

Actually, now that I think about it, I find it much easier to talk to boys then girls, for this reason. Perhaps it's a seperation of our interests (I'm void of most female pop culture, and hate shopping more then death). It's usually a bit awkward talking to girls because of that. Usually I just nod.
With most guys, I don't know. They seems a lot more laid back, and I really like that cause I'm terrible with small talk. Of course, it all depends on the person. But, all the same, I still find men easier to be around.

[CaptLex]

Actually, now that I think about it, I find it much easier to talk to boys then girls, for this reason. . . . With most guys, I don't know. They seems a lot more laid back, and I really like that cause I'm terrible with small talk. Of course, it all depends on the person. But, all the same, I still find men easier to be around.

I know exactly what you mean, sparro. Welcome to the forum, by the way. :wave2:

[sparro]

I know exactly what you mean, sparro. Welcome to the forum, by the way. :wave2:

Thanks :D

btw, I like the quote on your signature. It's gold.:GD: (<--I'm not sure if he's laughing, but he looks happy)

[Taylor105]

I don't have many friends. My best friend Craig is a guy who has been with a man once but had considered himself straight ever since. My other best friend is a gay guy who has no intentions of ever cross-dressing. He is happy as a male gay guy. That's cool with me. They both know I cross-dress and want to be a guy and they are cool with that. Growing up all the kids that I hung with on the block were boys. I was the leader and I would kick their asses at all sports and also keep them in line if they pissed me off. lol Taylor

[privateperks]

I haven't had any girl friends since middleschool really. I've always hung out with guys for the most part. I just don't have a whole lot in common with most of the girls I've known. And my guy friends have always been pretty cool about just treating me like one of the gang which is great.

[Kristen Kelly]

I agree with Deborah in regards to male behaviour in general.

I am a few years older than the Cap'n and I agree. The times have changed; for the better I think, but we (he and I) are still trapped in that 60's/early 70's mindset in our generations. Crappy.

Like you guys, my friends were mostly on the opposite side of the fence, well at least sometimes. Even today, I have only one GOOD male friend and a couple of female ones. Still, I do relate to the girls much better. So with the tables turned, the story seems to be about the same.

Very interesting. Good thread Abraxis.

Kimberley.

I have to agree most of my friends are female. The male friends I did hang with when I tried to be "Macho" were not crude, yes threre were the drunken parties, and telling of conquests with the women, but like you all it was a front to try to belong with a group I didn't feel confortable with.

[Kirchein]

:( i´ve never had guy´s friends.....just girls....everybody see me as a girl although i dress like a boy, i think im quite tough....i like heavy hate pop shopping and girly things (also the sports shirts for girls are too too girly!) ...buuut they still see me as a girl who must be femenizitated (whatever) :( man it really suks when they give u a "girly necklace" as a present 4 ur birthday when they know that u dont like it

but anyway i think i´ve never had guy friends cos im quite shy.....crazy but shy lol