Buying & Wearing a Wedding Dress, How do Wives react

[Robbiegirl]

By chance have any of you ever bought and worn a wedding dress in front of your wife ?

I just worry that there is something maybe sacred about wedding dresses that maybe might cross the line for some women.

Like should the dress be completely different in style than the one they wore ? Should the veil be different ?

Also when buying off Craigslist or Ebay should you probably be honest and say its for you to see if they get upset about the idea of a guy wearing it. I wonder if I went to a thrift store and tried one on what reacton i might get from SAs and female customers ?

Any experiences or thoughts would be appreciated

Oh and I am already assuming being caught trying on your wife's dress would not bring a favorable reaction.
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[char GG]

Hi Robbiegirl,

My husband has several wedding dresses, all purchased from Goodwill. He painted one red and wore it for Halloween. Another one was worn to what was called a "White Party" (everyone was suppose to wear white) for a Pride event. Not sure where (or if) he plans to wear the rest of them. No veil, just a crown for both occasions.

It's curious that someone would tell an E-bay seller "who" is going to wear the dress. If the seller is trying to get rid of an item, my opinion is they would not care who buys it or for what reason. Also, thrift stores such as Goodwill, are in the business of selling stuff. The Goodwill stores near us allows people to purchase things with a 7 day return policy. No reason to get the SA's involved in who is wearing what. Take it home and/or take it back.

So.... it sounds like you are asking if wives or SO's have a reaction to a CDer wearing a wedding dress. My reaction is: I really don't care, it's just like any other similar garment (prom dress, bridesmaid), nothing sacred as far as I'm concerned. (Other SO's may feel differently). It wasn't my dress (which neither of us would still fit into anyway, lol). If it were my dress, I prefer to keep that one in a box.

[Teresa]

Char,
Do you have no objections at all or would would be upset if it was your wedding dress ?

Robbiegirl,
While the thought is appealing and I have worn several but I actually didn't feel very comfortable , they aren't that easy to wear , I much preferred bridesmaids dresses . Now I can't see the point of filling my wardrobe with wedding dresses , I'm never going out in one .

[Majella St Gerard]

I got married on Halloween and wanted to wear a wedding dress for the party, wife was fine with that. I went to several thrift stores and tried them on while in male mode, no problems. Also went to a bridal shop and tried a bunch on that were on clearance but none fit. So I went to the costume store and bought a sexy angel costume and used it as a wedding dress.304098

[Wifeling GG]

I can only speak for myself but no, I would not be a happy bunny about my Husband wearing a wedding dress. He wore his ex-wife's wedding dress to work, on public transport of all things, for charity. That I can deal with just fine. I know he has a huge heart and would do just about anything (really, he has no sense of shame whatsoever!) to help others.

Him buying and wearing a wedding dress just because? Nope. Not a happy thought, that. I don't have to worry about him wearing mine because I've not worn one. We were simply too broke to consider such luxuries when we married, not to mention we had two weeks to get married in, the fun we were having with the Home Office over my and my daughter's immigration status, and it's affect (absofreakinglutely none!) on his rights to even have visitation with his own daughter. A wedding dress simply never came up. I would like us to renew our vows one day and to do it our way (his mother completely hijacked what little we did have and his psycho sister tried to start a fight with him over the Iceland buffet his mother prepared without even asking us).

Yeah, wedding dresses have a whole other universe of emotive baggage for some women.

And you're really treading in shark infested waters with a boat load of sashimi in your shorts if you even think about touching a dress a woman actually married you in!

[abbiedrake]

Well, at least there can be no doubt about my shamelesness anymore! 😁
I think the fact that my practice wife was feminine as a rock meant she didn't care about me wearing her gown.
Since so many women dream of their wedding day and the dress it stands to reason that it would be a 'thing' for us part-timers.
As for me, well, I did that long before dressing became part of my life. It was still fun at the time but I've no desire to repeat the experience. (@wifeling GG you can breathe a sigh of relief about that at least, my love!)

[Wifeling GG]

Yeah, but touch my Irregular Choice shoes or any of my Steampunk stuff and you're done for mate!

[Tracy Irving]

My wife helped me try on her wedding dress a few years ago. It was way too small. I now own several in my size but don't get the chance to wear them as often as I would like.

[Beverley Sims]

Never wore my wife's wedding dress, I had too many of my own.

I used to organise mock weddings for charity and clubs, so I always had a selection for hire if needed. :-)

[Robbiegirl]

Hi Robbiegirl,

My husband has several wedding dresses, all purchased from Goodwill. He painted one red and wore it for Halloween. Another one was worn to what was called a "White Party" (everyone was suppose to wear white) for a Pride event. Not sure where (or if) he plans to wear the rest of them. No veil, just a crown for both occasions.

It's curious that someone would tell an E-bay seller "who" is going to wear the dress. If the seller is trying to get rid of an item, my opinion is they would not care who buys it or for what reason. Also, thrift stores such as Goodwill, are in the business of selling stuff. The Goodwill stores near us allows people to purchase things with a 7 day return policy. No reason to get the SA's involved in who is wearing what. Take it home and/or take it back.

So.... it sounds like you are asking if wives or SO's have a reaction to a CDer wearing a wedding dress. My reaction is: I really don't care, it's just like any other similar garment (prom dress, bridesmaid), nothing sacred as far as I'm concerned. (Other SO's may feel differently). It wasn't my dress (which neither of us would still fit into anyway, lol). If it were my dress, I prefer to keep that one in a box.

Char,

In several posts on Craigslist the seller states how they hope the new bride that will be buying the dress has as much fun and luck in it as they had. I am just trying to be respectful. I also am not superstitious, but I do have this strange fear of getting dolled up in a wedding dress and some how having awoke some evil spirits, LOL I sometimes wonder when i am wearing a vintage slip if the wearer is now in heaven looking down on me and i just hope they have a good sense of humor.

[Di]

Sherlyn and I had two weddings .
One she wore a wedding gown and veil and another for her daughters where she was in guy mode for them.
She was a beautiful bride.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Robbie :hugs:, It all depends on the woman as to whether accepting of your dressing. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[Tracii G]

Di I bet she was.

[RADER]

Many years ago, I had to get a Black Bow tie for my Tux. So my wife and I went to this Bridal Shop
that also had Tux's for rent or buy. I bought the Black tie I needed, and asked the sales lady if she
would fit me for a wedding dress. My Wife just LOL at the request, but went along with it.
Well it turned out that they did not have a dress in my size, but for $ 500.00 deposit, they would
import a few dresses for me to try on.
My wife looked at me and said, 500 Honestly, you can buy many dresses for that amount, and besides
where would you wear a wedding dress. I agree, and we left. But I still wonder, What IF.
rader

[char GG]

Teresa,
I would not have an objection if my husband wanted to try my wedding dress. However, it's not his style (the dress looks like a pile of whipped cream that someone dropped a bride into), and not his size. It resembles the pictures Robbiegirl posted - only fluffier - if that's possible. The box it lives in is the best place for such a huge bridal concoction. (I can't even believe I ever picked it out!!)

Robbiegirl,
I wouldn't worry about someone's selling description. They are probably just trying to add words to the picture to make it seem more appealing.

Di,
Your two weddings sound lovely! :love:

[abbiedrake]

Haha Char, you fell victim to the Pink Fog !!

[Rhonda Jean]

Di,
Tracii beat me to it. I bet she was, too!

I was very young when I got married and lacked the reference points that a little experience gives. I was already way off into this thing and my wife knew it. I tried on her wedding dress on our wedding night. Didn't think much about it at the time. I simply wanted to see what I'd look like in it, and experience wearing such an ultra feminine dress. She played along at the time, and I didn't realize it meant anything to her years later. It was a thoughtless thing, and I shouldn't have.

Personally, I think you trying on a wedding dress in front of your wife will either reveal or suggest that you have a bridal fantasy that extends beyond the dress.

[andreanna]

I just don't understand the big deal for wedding dresses?

[Judy-Somthing]

I also went to a Halloween party asa bride with my wife.

[Wifeling GG]

I just don't understand the big deal for wedding dresses?

For many women they are the biggest part of what they hope will be their biggest day ever if they get it right the first time. It's the symbolism; what the dress represents socially and metaphorically. While a man moves from a position of being cared for at home by one woman to being cared for at home by another woman, for the woman it's her time to step up to the plate, bases loaded, bottom of the ninth. She now has to take on all the responsibilities she had previously as well as the new ones of organising and running a home (nesting behaviour) and bearing and rearing children. Yes, it's a very old fashioned view but it's one that is very much held on to in western society. Just look at the number of dolls houses and wedding dresses for the dolls that go in them, much less the prom and bridal shops on every corner.

Both partners will probably have worked before and continue to work after the wedding but most home and ware purchases are driven by women.

The wedding dress is going to symbolise a girl's transition from child to woman in hers and society's view. It's a tribal, culturally, and socially agreed and recognised symbol of a female's changing roles within her family and community. It's like most rites of passage ceremonies that every culture has to varying degrees. Many women are raised with their mothers desires for them in their ears and a Perfect Wedding with THE DRESS are the end game. I personally think this is driven by mothers of brides because there is no such thing as the Perfect Day so said mothers are trying to fix what went wrong with their own weddings while outdoing all their friends but what do I know? Weddings are what sweet sixteen parties, cotillions, proms, etc. are building up to and training for- think long game; wedding Olympics.

For men you just have to get a job. Socially your role will change very little between kid with a job to dad with a job - sadly there are very few rites of passage for males in Western society other than the legal drinking age which is heavily flouted and a let down anyway, and your first kill with the old man if that's his thing are about all you get in western society now. Sorry about that.

A wedding dress is professionally cleaned and preserved like a desicated mummified blancmange after the Big Day in the US so that when it's well and truly out of style and very much not wanted it can be passed on to one's own daughter so she can continue the cycle. Just imagine how many businesses would go under without all the above. I personally think there should be far more reasons for women to wear dresses so that they can learn how and wear them with some degree of grace and dignity rather than clomping around in their first pair of heels ever and moving like John Wayne with piles.

[abbiedrake]

What my wife says is horribly anachronistic and mysogynistic.
But it's also largely true. Wishing something were different doesn't make it so.
But it does rather answer the question of why wedding dresses are as big a deal as they are.

[Robbiegirl]

Teresa,
I would not have an objection if my husband wanted to try my wedding dress. However, it's not his style (the dress looks like a pile of whipped cream that someone dropped a bride into), and not his size. It resembles the pictures Robbiegirl posted - only fluffier - if that's possible. The box it lives in is the best place for such a huge bridal concoction. (I can't even believe I ever picked it out!!)

Robbiegirl,
I wouldn't worry about someone's selling description. They are probably just trying to add words to the picture to make it seem more appealing.

Di,
Your two weddings sound lovely! :love:

Char so loving the idea of you in your whipped cream dress and hoop ! At some point during your wedding day would you have gladly switched outfits with your Hubby if you could ? LOL

[char GG]

Hi again Robbiegirl,
No, I never thought to switch outfits with my Hubby (it was probably the hottest day of the year) BUT, if I could do it over, I would have chosen a sequin/pearl, mermaid style dress (which they didn't have - or I didn't see available - back in the olden days when I got married).

[Robbiegirl]

Thanks Char ! I'll bet your husband loved how you looked and loved the Dress !

Were the Bridesmaids in puffy dresses also ????

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[abbiedrake]

Looks like a fire extinguisher exploded in the foreground!

[Robbiegirl]

LOL ! I am laughing at their outfits but lets be honest here I could probably find a dozen guys on this site who would gladly slip into those gals puffy bridesmaids dresses and bonnets in a heartbeat !

[Angie G]

I did have a few Wedding dresses on one in front of my wife. But she won't let me buy one. :hugs:
Angie

[Robbiegirl]

Well Angie you at least had your moment in the sun !

Maybe renting one would be the way to go, has anyone tried ??

[JenniferR771]

I have two wedding dresses--one long and one short. Thrift store. I used to have an additional one--but my wife got rid of it long ago during on of her purges when I was out of town. This was partly due to the outside shed storage--a mouse ate a few pieces out of the hem.

[confused_cathreen]

I have to say, wedding dresses are a different beast all on their own. I have to agree with Wifeling in that they carry a lot of meaning for society. I don't agree with them and hence, I would never wear one. A ripped one stained by fake blood while dressed as Frankenstein's bride for Halloween, sure. But as a serious dress for my wedding day, no. That doesn't stop me appreciating their beauty,when there is a beauty to be appreciated, but not enough to wear one. I come from a culture where wedding dresses are rented and not bought so I never had the attachment in my head that exists in most of the western world. Brides get them for 4 days, wear on the day and a relative returns them the next day. Done and dusted, no mess, no need to store or worry about hubby getting into the box while I am out at baby classes. But I gave some thought into what you said and I think I wouldn't be happy if he would touch that dress. Of course, I would tear his arms off if he got into any of my clothes as I am very protective of my stuff in general. I have a few dresses and I like them to retain the memories of where I wore them, what I did during that event and if I had a good time. That would be like someone trying to steal those memories from me. That would propably apply to a wedding dress.

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Yeah, but touch my Irregular Choice shoes or any of my Steampunk stuff and you're done for mate!

Another kindred soul!! Irregular choice must make their shoes from heroin, I can't seem to stop myself from browsing and buying them. I must find a support group and quit somehow...

[Robbiegirl]

Thank you all for your input Ladies.

So if we look at wedding dresses as being sacred and having meaning then how do we look at French Maids Outfits, which many consider demeaning ?

How would you react to your guy mincing about cleaning house in the cute dress ?

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[abbiedrake]

Sounds like you're derailing your own thread now.
I think the differences between wedding gowns and maid outfits are patronisingly obvious and I'll predict no happy replies from GGs. Except maybe my wife who'll no doubt opine it's fine as long as the vacuuming gets done.
Maids' outfits, even on women, come loaded with sexual connotations and that's without even mentioning the inherent misogyny. Dressing as paraphilia is an area I can easily imagine women being less comfortable with.
What's next, a dominatrix outfit?
I wouldn't want to suggest a lover of mine don such garb, much less want to know her opinion of me in such. All power to those whose 'thing' that is but for many here, myself included, CDing isn't about the sexual kick.
Did I mention the sexism?
(oh and I'm not even gonna take a barge pole to the concept of crossdressing as 'hilarious' . SMH)

[sometimes_miss]

Also when buying off Craigslist or Ebay should you probably be honest and say its for you to see if they get upset about the idea of a guy wearing it. I wonder if I went to a thrift store and tried one on what reacton i might get from SAs and female customers ?

When I was married, my wife once picked out some dresses for me, which were similar to what she purchased for herself. I never bought a wedding gown, though I do have the desire to, since it's a verrrrry feminine article of clothing, and of course, the pictures of such beautiful women in the pictures are what my mind aspires to; but my mind also knows that I could never look that way, so that kind of crushes the desire to buy something so impractical.

When I did purchase formal, long gowns, I found them annoying to wear. I kept one, but the others have all gone to Goodwill. I occasionally get the urge to wear the last one every so often, but, as before, quickly tire of wearing it.

[Jenny22]

For just a one time experience, I'd really like to have a full bridal makeover and with my wig and boobs go to a bridal shop and try on some gowns and have scads of photos taken to remember the event.

[Amelie]

Maybe when I die I hope to be in a casket wearing a sort of black lace wedding dress.

[Cheryl T]

I don't have one nor have I ever worn one, but I do dream about it from time to time.
I would love to renew our vows and either have us both in wedding gowns or just me and she in a nice dress (she wouldn't go for the tux thing), but I know I'm the only one who would enjoy this.

Sometimes a dream must remain a dream.