Social groups, a question

[Helen_Highwater]

I've attended 2 different social groups over the years. When making my introductions and chit chatting I usually ask if the persons I'm talking to are familiar, members of this forum. Obviously if they are then it makes sense to see if we've exchanged views in the past.

I must admit that I've not encountered anyone who's been a member.

Given that typically there will be 20 plus people at the gathering if my experiences are replicated across other groups then it suggests that, yep that old chestnut, there's more folks in our wider community that perhaps we appreciate.

So, if you attend a social group, have you encountered others from this forum and what's the ratio of forum members to non forum members?

I appreciate it's not that scientific but it does seem a practical way to gauge just how big our wider community is.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Helen :hugs:, That is an interesting question. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[Samm]

Every forum member I have met in person, we're already 'met' here first. I haven't run across anyone in the groups I'm involved in that are members here. However, I have seen a few familiar names and faces in some of the online group member lists.

[alwayshave]

Helen, in my local meetup there are maybe 4 or 5 of up 30-60 who usually show up.

[Princess Chantal]

I have been in a crossdressing social group for 17 years and 11 years on this forum. I also attended a handful of meetings held by the local transgender support group. Out of the 100+ folks I met over the years thru the social group and the support group, only one person was a member of this forum. There was one person who posted on this forum stating that they attended a meeting of the social group, however upon my questioning they private messaged me saying that their “experience” was fictional. In their fictional post they stated that they were in the back of the room with no one noticing them and left half way thru the meeting in which does not jive with the working of the group. Our meeting location is not openly known and new people are always approached and welcomed by an executive member to make them more comfortable.

[Aunt Kelly]

I'd say about half of our group are forum members, maybe a bit more.

[Amelie]

I am in the social group Pagans MC and there is no one there from this forum.

[Sarah Doepner]

Over the years there have been about 40 people in our local group and maybe 15 have been members here.

[Stephanie47]

To me it seems somewhat logical if there was a local social group to attend, then the need to communicate with other cross dressers on a forum like this would diminish. I'd rather talk face to face with a person with similar interests than communicate through a computer. Back in the early 1980's my wife said it was alright with her if I joined a support group. I looked, but, there was none to be found. Today, in my small city (by my standards as a former New Yorker) there is a support group, but, it seems to be geared towards the youth. As a person in his 70's I do experience a generational divide in many aspects of life. I really would not expect anything different with a social group of crossdressers. However, maybe I would be surprised.

[Teresa]

Helen,
I met Carole through the forum and she introduced me to her local group , I now attend three different ones .

The most members of the forum I have encounterd was a special event last year where we manged to get five members together including Shelly Preston , I have since found one or two other members who are lurking at the moment . At the most I would say the maximum numbers could be 25% but of course they could be members of other online forums .

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=293942&stc=1&thumb=1&d=1532205986

[docrobbysherry]

In our LA group and at DLV and Wildside, (about 450 T girls), I'd say about one in 15 or 20 is, or has been, a cd.com member.

Many spend so much time hanging out with their T friends they don't visit us here anymore!:heehee:

[AllieSF]

The first T support group I attended was the River City Gems started by 2 past (inactive) members here in Sacramento, California about an hour plus drive from where I live. However, I do not think that I have met any other members from this site there unless it was people that were introduced to this site by me. For the few other small groups that I have been associated with, there were no one from this site. I am fortunate and live in northern CA where in reality, most CD's and others have less need for a great site like this, i.e. all you need to do is meet one other similar to yourself and you will eventually be networked with many others. Plus, what better place to go out ab be yourself? I also think that where there is a will there is a way to meet others. It usually means that one probably just needs to take a few calculated risks and step out of their normal comfort zone, their own self imposed closets!

[Rochal Tukque]

The group I belong to has 623 members about 60 are very active as far as going to events. I have met one other member that posts on this site. But they do have their own group site.

[kayegirl]

My first introduction to a social group was through this forum, sadly that group no longer exists. However, I am a member of another group, but I am not aware of any member there who uses this site... Their loss.

[Jean 103]

I have found the same thing when I went to DLV a few years ago. There were a few girls from here, but most I talked too had never heard of this site.

I know that within 30 minutes of me there are at least 10 (likely a lot more) TG people. Out of a population of more than 160K. I have met or seen a few, there is a local group I have seen on the TV (the group I attend is a little more than 30 minute drive to the north), and reports from my friends.

I attend, though not recently, a TG support group. I know that two of the members are on this site. I think they are one of the other forums, as I don’t think I have ever seen any of their posts. They have both completely transitioned.

If I were to extend the boundary to 60 minutes the numbers would change. To the north is the support group I attend. To the south are is another support group I have been told about. They don’t have regular meetings, but there is a place where T-girls meet up. I have been told when and where.

When I was in like the discovery stage I was like going in all directions at the same time. I was hoping to find a TG person to become friends with. Instead I was taken in by a group of GG’s. As it turned out this was the best thing that could have happened to me.

I have had a few boyfriends, one for over three years now, he is TG, I’m not miss-gendering him. He normally presents as a guy and treats me as his girlfriend. He is a fetish dresser and has no interest in this site.

I think this all speaks to the limited appeal of this site. That’s another discussing.

[Meghan4now]

I would say, from my conversations not a survey, about 1 in 10 to 1 in 4. That's 10-25 percent. Sounds like FetLife may be the same or higher. Facebook more like 2 in 3. urnotalone, 1 in 20. But I also have met several more closeted individuals from this forum that have not gone out enfemme, or are part of a group, so the Ven diagram is interesting. Add in Reddit and other sites and you expand the population. Remember, just because you crossdress, doesn't mean you are Homogeneous!

[Robertacd]

Well you have to remember it's a big world and there are plenty of forums that deal with this subject matter. Not to mention social media and members only forums some social groups have.

I just spent a week at the longest running transgender conference in the country. (30 years) I asked around and found a couple girls that have been here but none that are currently active. Esprit is put on by the Emerald City Social Club from Seattle. They have their own FB group and their own forum on Groups.io. The other main contributers are from the Cornberry Society of Vancouver B.C., they have their own forums rolled into their website blog style where members can post and comment on posts.

I have set up a Facebook account in my female name and soon after I received a friend request from a girl that lives nearby. Her pictures looked familiar so I asked her. Sure enough she used to be active here but left because she said posting pictures here was too restricted (in number and size, not content) and that made it too big a pain in the you know what overall.

Honestly I could see myself moving to one of those forums if I joined one of those groups. As much as I love this forum and the people I chat with, forum conversations with people who I have met in person is a lot more appealing to me.

[Allison Chaynes]

I've never met anyone here IRL. Been to one group meeting, the trans support group in Memphis. None of the people that night were part of this site. Most of them were very nice, but I was moving and wasn't going to see them again. I've talked to a few here but we've never been able to make schedules work well enough to go out.

[Helen_Highwater]

Thanks to all who responded. Interesting thoughts.

If I might summarise things I feel it's fair to say that depending where you are in the wide spectrum of our community will to some extent dictate the likelihood of you being a member here. Add to that as others have pointed out, the differing choices the web offers and it's not surprising that we're going to encounter folks not of this parish.

It's not possible to say that on average 1 in 20 others we encounter are forum members that multiplying our membership by 20 gives a figure for those who CD.

What I do think is fair to say is that it's a good indicator of there being a bigger community of folks like us than perhaps many imagine. Afterall, there's the never go out dressers and estimating their numbers must be nigh on impossible.

If it's possible to draw one thing from this it's perhaps something those newly joining us need to consider. You are not alone, there are more, in fact many more like you beyond the wonderful comforting boundaries that this site offers.

[Meghan4now]

Great summary Helen! And you used the phrase nigh on! Makes me think of an old Who song "A quick one"

Now it will play in my head all morning!

[Beverley Sims]

I have met others through this forum but only a couple who subscribe here.

If I want a reaction I usually ask "Do you know Beverley Sims?"

This has initiated only two positive reactions out of many over the years.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm in Jamie's social group (Post 4), and I agree that there's only about 5 per meetup. But' I'll bet that there are about 15 CD.com members in the social group, but they don't always come to each meetup.

I've met 21 of my friends here FtF, most in my DC social group, and most of the rest at the Keystone Conference. Some, I've met here first, and others I've met outside of here and then found out that they were members.

I've arranged to meet friends when they've come in to town, and I've arranged to meet others when I'm out of town.