Gender Reveal Party - Start of Unrealistic Expectations ?

[Kelly DeWinter]

Gender Reveal Party -
A gender reveal party is a celebration where either the guests, the expecting parents, or both find out the sex of the baby.

Is this the start of unrealistic expectations placed on children.

I understand that the party is meant to celebrate learning the sex of an unborn child. But I just cant help also think that this is the start of unrealistic expectations
on some kids growing up. Even selecting the colors pink or blues leaves out such a rainbow of others.

I grew up with so many limitations based on what was expected from a boy versus a girl.

I absolutely hated shop in high school, and was not allowed to take art classes, Just a few years ago I picked up art and nom, im an accomplished artist.

How has gender expectations affected you ?
What's your opinion on gender reveal parties.?

[Robertacd]

Well my opinion on gender reveal parties is that's for people with the gall to hold a party so everyone buys them the right gifts.

As for parental gender expectations, I think that they are the same regardless of when the parents learn the sex of their offspring.

[Majella St Gerard]

how were you not allowed to take art?

[Kelly DeWinter]

how were you not allowed to take art?

Parents thought it was not a class that would prepare me for adulthood and my ability to provide for a family. I was put in Auto Body Shop where I learned basic auto care. Truthfully I'm so inept with cars that I'm lucky I can fill the tank with gas.

[Asew]

FDR wore a dress as a child since a century ago it was common for small children to all wear the same things. Children toys and clothes have become so gendered but there is starting to be push back but who knows how effective it will be.

Now that I am non-binary, should I have had a gender reveal party to let everyone know :)

[Angela Marie]

Parental expectations are driven mostly by the tenor of the times. I was born in 1954. Attitudes were much more rigid; and growing up as I did in a traditional Italian American household made the divide even more pronounced. I think today most people are a bit more open minded as to career choices. As for the party I agree its just a really tacky way of securing more presents, or cash.

[Maid_Marion]

Glad to hear you became an artist!

I had no such limitations in the backwater school where I grew up. Not many went to college. Though I was both small and smart, so that may have been a factor. Agricultural economy with some tourism.

[Helen_Highwater]

Kelly,

"It's a boy!" so everyone buys something blue and it goes on from there. That child's role in society is set. Sounds far fetched. Nope, it's how the world has been for generations. Thankfully the more enlightened are rejecting that. I know of new parents who refuse to have clothing that reflects the traditional blues and pinks, toy cars for boys, dolls for girls. Does it matter? Hell yes. Gender neutral clothing reflects long term aspirations. Girls can achieve equally in the same roles traditionally reserved for males. That's also true for boys. If the female in a relationship can be the bread winner while the male stays at home and looks after the kids, bring it on.

As a father of two able girls I want them to be able to achieve to their full potential. Not pigeon holed into roles traditionally the domain of women. If they can do a "man's" job then why not, and get paid the same as the men of course.

Those in the UK will be familiar with the comedy program "Only fools and horses" which produced this classic (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SedRIymMrRE).


And that's what they all are, a baby.

[MarinaTwelve200]

The odds are only 3.5% he will become transgender in any way---ONE standard deviation (No pun intended) ;) 96 1/2 % is as certain as the odds in nature get, so we can safely make assumptions here.---We make assumptions based on the odds all the time any way--its how our minds work. We must not dwell on the exceptions to the rules. but White crows exist too.

[Judy-Somthing]

I took sewing in school and got pretty good.
I made two nice dresses for a girl I dated in high school.
My wife told me on several occasions not to mention it to people.

It's another one of those things "girls can wear or be anything they want but, a guy has better be manly".

[Lana Mae]

Rather than gender reveal and all it's garbage I just wanted a healthy child regardless of the gender! I got a healthy macho boy and a tomboy asexual daughter! I am out to both and they are accepting! Their first clothes were yellow and green! They both had their choice of toys for both genders! Yes the son played with dolls for a while and the daughter played with trucks! No big deal! I agree it is a sleazy way to get more presents! Hugs Lana Mae

[Micki_Finn]

I always though gender reveal parties were stupid. No offense if you’re a fan, but we already have baby showers. Do we really need a gender reveal party? What ever happened to “we had a baby! It’s a boy.” The end? Do we really need a whole party with pyrotechnics and colored smoke?

[GracieRose]

I have always been put off by the focus on the sex of a newborn. It is generally the first question that people ask a new parent. However, in general, I see less focus on that aspect than there has been historically. I think we are progressing, just slowly. I see the gender reveal party as an excuse to throw a party. In my opinion, it is a waste of time, and perhaps a bit of a societal regression.
I prefer to ask about the health of the baby as that is much more important to me. When (well meaning) people asked me what sex I was hoping for, I would reply that I was hoping for a healthy child.

[Rogina B]

Do we really need a gender reveal party? What ever happened to “we had a baby! It’s a boy.”

I would rather it be.."We have a healthy child born with a penis" Nothing is forever..

[alwayshave]

Kelly, Gender reveal parties are about the parents not the child. I don't read that much into them. I have three daughters and I didn't care what their sex was prior to birth, just that they would be healthy. I don't believe they set any expectations for the life of the child.

[abbiedrake]

It's just money and attention right? Well yeah. Those are two massive drivers right there but I can't help but wonder if some (a little) of it is kickback against the perceived 'rise' in transgenderism. Like bathroom bills, a sign of the times. And hopefully just some death spasms of outdated attitudes.
But yeah, money to be made and attention.
As for whether it's promoting unrealistic expectations no, not so much. Those parents who indulge are not likely to have much imagination when it comes.to things later in life, I suspect. Though as Marina points out, statistically their expectations, those that hold them rigidly, are unlikely to be shattered.

[Tracy Irving]

it is a sleazy way to get more presents!

Exactly!

[Patience]

Gender reveal parties are for the benefit of the parents and the people in their lives, not the unborn offspring.

As for gender expectations being forced on people, I think that varies by family.

[Stephanie47]

Back in junior high school (1959-1962) I never gave it a thought since as a guy I was in wood working, electrical, metal and printing shops. Girls went to domestic chore shops associated with societal expectations. Reflecting back I never heard a girl complain. Or a guy. That's how it was. At home I was already cooking my own breakfast when elementary school. Now I cook and bake...probably more than my wife. People ask for MY recipes. From a societal viewpoint I think the girls really got the short end of the stick. And that came to baseball and sports also. Now girls are playing soccer, baseball/softball and basketball rather than sidewalk games.

You're right about limitations. Children are still directed to "boy" or "girl" toys and clothing. My granddaughter loves female action heroes, Marvel and D.C. In grade school she attracted the company of a lot of little boys with her collection of Marvel female action figures. Of course, she was encouraged to be whatever she wanted to be.

I never felt shortchanged growing up. I loved whatever I was going. I played sidewalk games usually associated with girls and with girls too. The burden came later in life when for some reason I was drawn to wearing women's clothing. I did not have that impulse in elementary school.

Hey, buy your daughter some action figure graphic tee shirts. They're cool.

[erinna]

Back in the 1990s my wife and I attended a Virginia Prince lecture. Virginia started the talk off with a bag of marbles, two colors, pink and blue. Symbolizing how we all start off with all our marbles! However, as each societal expectation is placed upon us marbles are removed. Born a boy, take out a pink marble. Buy the boy, boy clothes, remove a marble. Buy the boy toys meant for boys, remove a pink marble. And so on. By the time we enter adulthood, we end up with half our marbles!

[abbiedrake]

That explains an awful lot, Erinna!