Question for those that go out dressed with their spouse

[RachelB.]

What is the one thing that happens when out that really pushes your spouses buttons?

My lovely wife gets really irritated when we are out for a meal and the server asks if we need separate checks. I don't know why it bugs her but it does. We only have been going out for a couple of years with me dressed and I guess after 40 years she just doesn't expect it. She just laughs it off and usually tells the server that she is treating tonight.

[Macey]

My wife an I have only been out a couple if times, so not much to report, I fear. But I want to hear the other responses!

[Patience]

So people who go out naked with their spouses need not reply?

Why are they left hanging out?

[Macey]

Patience, I did have a couple of friends who referred to themselves as 'card carrying nudists'. Which begged the question 'where do you carry the card???'

[Leelou]

I don't think it's a problem that they ask about separate checks. If anything, it's respecting your presentation that they're not assuming that you're a married couple. Just a couple of ladies out to dinner.

[Elizabeth G]

Leelou you took the words right out of my mouth.

[mattea]

My wife and I had this discussion weekend before last. We were at a TGI Fridays for lunch and the waitress came up and said, "are you ladies together or separate", my wife just said together and took care of the bill. But it spawned a conversation on how we present. We have to keep in mind that while we are feeling that sense of freedom presenting as who we want to be, there is a possibility that we are forcing our wives to present in a way that may not be comfortable to them, because when we are out without me dressing we hold hands and show regular affection. I have been a little standoffish with my wife because I want to respect her sensibilities and the discussion of the fact that most people don't see us a couple when we are out as ladies got us into discussing the display of affection and even just holding hands and what we discovered is that my wife is just as happy holding my hand enfemme as she is when I am in drab. Later that evening we saw a lesbian couple holding hands and that sealed the deal. She does get a bit frustrated when people stare at me, especially guys, which at first I thought was because they were "reading me" and she was coming to my defense, but come to find out her reasoning is because she is jealous and wants to kick anyone's butt that has interest in me.

I do get why your wife gets frustrated I was a bit put off by it as well when the waitress asked if we were separate checks, but you can't blame the waitress unless they know our situation and if you think about it, the waitress is just seeing two ladies out for a meal.....

[Jillian Faith]

My wife and I have only been out a couple of times, so far so good. She seems to enjoy Jill's company and calls me her preferred shopping partner. As for the separate check question, I don't think it would bother her one bit and she would use it to confirm the fact that I am passing well.

[Robertacd]

mattea when my wife and I show the same affections towards each other in public when I am DRAG as we do when I am DRAB.

In fact I she is a little more affectionate than usual when I am DRAG and she has a few drinks in her.

[Jennifer0874]

My wife doesn’t like that I make her take the lead because of my desire to feel feminine. When in drab I am quite chivalrous but when dressed I defer the “male” tasks to her. Having doors opened for me is a primer example.

Recently she stated “you know I like to feel like a woman too”.

[Melissa_Me]

I haven't been out in the world yet with my wife but I wouldn't change who I am and how I act around her just because I'm dressed.
She is still my wife and I would continue to open doors for her and pick up the bill.

We are a very affectionate couple anyway so continuing that out in public both dressed as girls wouldn't change, but she would probably be like same as Mattes she'd step in protect me and kick anyone's ass that showed an interest, good or bad :lol:
Xx

[Robertacd]

Well I did it again...

I noticed a grammar error in my post, the Grammar Nazi in me couldn't live with it and before I could stop myself I tried to edit my post and THE BOARD DELETED IT.

Well I have had enough. I think I am done here.

[Joyce Swindell]

I can't think of anything except she once mentioned to me the holding hands thing and pulled away. She was making sure I wasn't doing it mindlessly.

[docrobbysherry]

I still see your earlier post, Roberta!:daydreaming:

Rachel, if that's the worst problem u and your wife have with your dressing? You're LIVING THE DREAM, girl!:D

[Robertacd]

Doc, I had the first response (post #2) and re entered it probably was (post #7 or ) anyway I am searching for an alternative forum that works better for me on several levels.

[chrissy111]

We act the same way whether I'm dressed or in drab. Been that way since we were in High School

[Micki_Finn]

Really the only thing that bugs her is when we go out shopping and she sees something she likes and it’s my size and not hers, but it’s not really a big deal. It’s also not limited to going out en femme.

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I haven't been out in the world yet with my wife but I wouldn't change who I am and how I act around her just because I'm dressed.
She is still my wife and I would continue to open doors for her and pick up the bill.

We are a very affectionate couple anyway so continuing that out in public both dressed as girls wouldn't change, but she would probably be like same as Mattes she'd step in protect me and kick anyone's ass that showed an interest, good or bad :lol:
Xx

Ha ha. No offense, but you say that now, but once the thrill and adrenaline of going out the first time hits, all bets are off.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Patience, I did have a couple of friends who referred to themselves as 'card carrying nudists'. Which begged the question 'where do you carry the card???'

A fanny pack of course.

[abbiedrake]

Patience, I did have a couple of friends who referred to themselves as 'card carrying nudists'. Which begged the question 'where do you carry the card???'

You glue it to your pubes. Like a fig leaf.

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A fanny pack of course.

Very different (though more accurate) meaning in the UK.

[Robertacd]

A fanny pack of course.

You mean fanny packed. :heehee:

[CherylFlint]

Because I have a male voice when my wife and I go out she does the ordering,
so they know who gets the (one) check.

[Cheryl T]

Mostly it's what would be considered "male" things, like holding the door for her. She always says, "I can do that".
The only other thing that bothers her a bit is when I use the ladies room. I just tell her it's safer that the men's room if I'm dressed as a woman.

[KayC]

I guess the server doesn't know how to handle it...it might be better if the server asks if you want one or separate checks, leaving either option open. Not a biggie!

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Even if I am 100% dressed up, if I'm with my girlfriend I always get the check lol the funny part is I always hand her the check.

I'll bet I've been viewed as maybe a loser because I'm making a female pay for a man's meal while he pretends to be a female. All of my money automatically goes into her account so we pay it all from one card. I have collections after me, so I don't have my own account.

Perception is reality to some I guess lol

[Rochal Tukque]

Ha ha the service always clocks me and hands me the check.

[RachelPortugal]

So people who go out naked with their spouses need not reply?

Why are they left hanging out?

Well my wife and I have been out as girls together and also as nudists/naturists. The same things annoy my wife however we present, girls playing with their long hair at the dinner table. On a girls night out, in restaurants my wife gets annoyed (too strong a word really) if I start to shy away from looking the waiter/waitress in the face or ask my wife to order, but that is just my wife trying to boost my confidence.


Patience, I did have a couple of friends who referred to themselves as 'card carrying nudists'. Which begged the question 'where do you carry the card???'

There is a book entitled "Where do nudists keep their hankies?" Me, I keep them in a bedside drawer, but the answer was that nudists are generally fit and healthy and don't need hankies. As for card carrying, you just need to show it to gain entry to some resorts or clubs, after which you won't need it. Of course you still need to carry cash or cards for any purchases, but there are ways and means.

[Helen_Highwater]

So I'm one of those who's nowhere near going out with my SO but reading the comments did get me thinking, always dangerous!

The who opens a door question. My view is if you're approaching a door walking side by side, if the handle/pushplate is on the left then the person on the right opens the door and visa versa. If it's a handle you pull and allow the other person to walk through, if it's a push plate, you walk through first and the hold the door open while your partner follows through. Simple etiquette.

As for the separate checks I don't see that as anything other than the server treating you as friends/acquaintances as opposed to potentially risking insulting two GG diners by assuming they're a gay couple. Okay I know it's no reason to feel insulted but there are those who will be sadly. Plus if you've been read by the server how many would feel that they're being offered the cheque because it's the man's job to pay.

We're all guilty at one time or another of over thinking things. Learning to let go and relax is a skill needing practice.

[Pumped]

I think asking if you want separate checks is just common these days. My wife and I go out to eat often with me in drab, never dressed, and get asked every time and it is fairly obvious we are a couple. I would expect two women would get asked the same question.

[RachelB.]

Being asked about separate checks doesn't annoy me but my wife just isn't used to it. I joked the last time it happened that we needed to do more girls nights out so she could get used to it. She replied we'll see. We have a girls weekend planned this weekend so we will see.

[Tanya silk stocking]

My wife is planning a night out with me fully enfemme so will be really interesting to see what happens and looking forward to it but nervous at the same time

[RachelB.]

Spent the entire day dressed and we went to a local favorite restaurant for lunch. I was curious how the server would handle the checks. She put it all on one check and placed it in the middle of the table. Funny because Friday night we went to a Chili's and I was in full guy mode. Even need a shave rather badly. The server gave her the check. I took it and put my card in the folder and she brought it back and gave it to my wife.

[Jillian Faith]

Mostly it's what would be considered "male" things, like holding the door for her. She always says, "I can do that".
The only other thing that bothers her a bit is when I use the ladies room. I just tell her it's safer that the men's room if I'm dressed as a woman.

Wow Cheryl that's interesting my wife would be appalled if I tried to use the men's room instead of the ladies room while out enfemme.

Jill

[Sabrina133]

Leeiou - Excatly. I think its a compliment. The servers see you as two girlfriends eating out together.

It happens to me and my wife all the time. We take it as a compliment.

[Cheshire girl]

We are treated like two girlfriends out for a meal. We get one bill. We obviously use the ladies toilets and touch up our makeup in the mirror together .

[Joan_CD]

I have to say we are never asked if we want separate checks. The server puts the bill in between the two of us.