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Joan_CD
06-15-2019, 05:24 PM
I was having lunch at a restaurant today when I heard a deep voice asking the server for something. I looked up and saw a sister sitting alone at the next table. She was a larger person with what looked like an inexpensive wig. She was sitting legs spread apart (wearing capris), with her arms on the table, hunched over, eating man sized portions. Her makeup was not the greatest. I did not say anything and give her credit for going out into the world. Hopefully her presentation will get better over time.

RADER
06-15-2019, 05:48 PM
Well you did the correct think by not engaging her; But I give her having a lot of fortitude for trying to go out
dressed to a restaurant. I wish I could do that, I could never pass in a million years.
So I say GO Girl ,and try to be all you want to be.
Thanks for sharing.
Rader

DianaPrince
06-15-2019, 06:11 PM
I was at a store last week, and a male employee there was wearing a skirt (full beard, not attempting to pass). I wanted to say something positive to him but never crossed paths with him to do so.

Jenn A116
06-15-2019, 07:55 PM
I recently had occasion to encounter 3 (presumed) sisters on a trip to Dayton OH. (Yes, the Hamvention - an amateur radio gathering that typically has attendance greater than 20,000 over a 3-day weekend.) They fell in different categories:

Sister A is out and very "passable". She is well known in the ham radio community for a long time and is quite open about being trans. I regularly follow her blog and have chatted with her in person several times over the years. We always have a fun time talking during these events.

Sister B is also a ham that I've noticed in past events chatting with Sister A, but in drab. This year she was presenting as full female. By chance I wound up next to her at one of the vendor booths and took the opportunity to say hello. Nothing overt, but I did let her know that I appreciated her outfit. She showed me her call sign and a quick lookup on line confirmed my suspicion that she was Trans.

Sister C was spotted in the airport at the end of the event when many, many of the passengers were hams heading home. This sister was not only very tall (which is way caught my attention in the first place), but also had a receding hairline and her walk was not quite the female stride. Yes, I know all of those things don't mean this was a Trans person. Even taken together, they are still not conclusive.

So, my point? Just that we are everywhere. Some of us are more apparent than others. Embrace it!

Robertacd
06-15-2019, 08:09 PM
3 (presumed) sisters... (Yes, the Hamvention - an amateur radio gathering that typically has attendance greater than 20,000 over a 3-day weekend.)

The Ham Radio community has a lot of trans people, I am willing to bet one of the higher of the "hobby groups" percentage wise. Probably because a lot of us were social outcasts when we were young and gravitated to the sciences and technology fields and hobbies. Counting me there are THREE just in our county HAM/EMCOM groups (that I know of).

BTW: I know Sister A or B if she is part of NW Digital Radio (http://nwdigitalradio.com/)

JoanneNY
06-15-2019, 11:53 PM
This thread came as a total surprise to me but in some ways, I'm not surprised. Ham radio folks are friendly, helpful, and typically go overboard to help others in an emergency situation. Kind of like the mindset of many of us here. I've had my Ham radio license since 1953 and that's been my cars plate number since then.
88's to all. (that's ham talk that means LOVE & KISSES !

Robertacd
06-16-2019, 12:32 AM
Back on topic...

Honestly I have always thought it would be nice to say hello or otherwise make your self known to a "sister". Besides my own social anxiety preventing me from walking up to a total stranger and saying something like that, in doing so you are also saying "YOU DON'T PASS!". Now that sister you see may not appear to be trying to pass, but she may have tried her best and felt good about herself. So let people be, don't go out of your way to compliment their presentation. How often do you give unsolicited compliments to cisgender strangers? Don't get me wrong I love getting compliments, but really don't we all just want to be treated the same way you treat anyone else?

Ressie
06-16-2019, 10:34 AM
Sounds almost like it could have been me. I don't try to put on a fem voice. I'm not petite. My wigs aren't the top of the line. Sitting with legs apart - well, I don't do that!

Improving presentation is something worth striving for, yet it's OK to go out and show everyone that you're just a crossdresser too. Not many of us fooling everyone. Just be you :)

Jean 103
06-16-2019, 11:22 AM
My roommate is disabled. She has these nurse's that will stop and check on her.

About a month ago there was a new one. My roommate ask me if she was like me. I told her I wasn't sure.

Well a week later I knew.

It doesn’t change anything

Your post did take me back a ways. I was pretty rough at first.

I would not ever say anything. But I am no longer sure it is the right thing to do.

Looking back it really all changed for me when I started making friends, GGs mostly.

Teresa
06-16-2019, 12:20 PM
Joan,
Always a hot topic !

What are the rights and wrongs of dressing in public , who is to say what is good or bad ? Some members struggle with the fears of stepping out the door and some don't appear to care what they look like . Men and women dress as they choose in public so what is so different about a Cder ? Did you do the right thing by not saying anything ? Well it could have gone anyway , he/she may have been happy to talk or he/she may have told you to **** off and mind your own business or you could have just scared he/she away but from your description I doubt that outcome .

Jean. Ann
06-16-2019, 04:11 PM
To me the right thing to do is to treat her
as you would any other Lady .
Smile , speak make conversation if you wish

JAS

Jenn A116
06-16-2019, 06:32 PM
BTW: I know Sister A or B if she is part of NW Digital Radio (http://nwdigitalradio.com/)

Both A & B are from the New England area so I doubt they are part of the NW Digital Radio group.

Tracii G
06-16-2019, 07:22 PM
This thread came as a total surprise to me but in some ways, I'm not surprised. Ham radio folks are friendly, helpful, and typically go overboard to help others in an emergency situation. Kind of like the mindset of many of us here. I've had my Ham radio license since 1953 and that's been my cars plate number since then.
88's to all. (that's ham talk that means LOVE & KISSES !

Going 10 7 because I have to take a 10/100.


Joan kind of rough on the person judging her on her size and what was on her plate.That is not very nice of you.
Not all of us are fat by choice OK?

Jodie_Lynn
06-16-2019, 07:29 PM
So, is the general consensus, that we shouldn't approach a fellow CD/TG?

Tracii G
06-16-2019, 07:46 PM
It really depends on the situation and there is a 50/50 chance to what response you may get.
Me personally I don't care if another trans person or CD asks me if I am trans.
I think its painfully obvious LOL
Others may not be confident in their presentation.
Do I ask? Not usually just a smile a wink and a nod works just fine.

sarah_hillcrest
06-16-2019, 07:55 PM
I'm with Tracci, everyone is different. Just thinking about all the people I've approached "cold" and started up conversations with. Most of the time it goes well, sometimes I get the feeling I'm bothering them and quickly end it, on at least one occasion the person had a total freakout. I have done interviews with some strangers for youtube at events, people's response often depends on your demeanor.

Now I'm thinking that with a crossdresser who is trying to be all sneaky and blend in they're probably not going to be interested in having a conversation. Some trans people would probably love to have a conversation.

Elizabeth1980
06-19-2019, 03:52 AM
When I see a sister I look at other peoples’ reactions to them, I think because I fear other peoples’ negative reactions when I go out like that myself. I would like to talk to sisters when I see them around in the shops, etc but am not very outgoing, so prefer to keep to myself. Interesting thread though.

Robertacd
06-19-2019, 08:39 AM
Going 10 7 because I have to take a 10/100.


LOL, That's CB radio talk dear... (and it's 10-7 and 10-100) :p

BTW: CB'ers are a HAM radio operator's arch enemy :rofl:

Leslie Langford
06-20-2019, 02:33 PM
I was in my favorite department store the other day, and as I was walking past the womenswear section (no, I wasn't shopping there...just passing through on my way elsewhere, but that's not to say I wasn't tempted ;) ), I happened to spot a tall, husky, 60's+, very masculine-looking man with a female companion (wife?) who was wearing a kilt along with typical male attire for the rest of his outfit...golf shirt, normal street shoes, socks etc....with both of them acting as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

Since this incident didn't happen in the middle of the Scottish Highlands, the kilt wasn't part of a ceremonial regimental dress uniform, Robbie Burns Day isn't due for a few months now, and no ex-pat gathering of the clans or any associated Highland Games were happening in my immediate area at the time to the best of my knowledge...of course, my natural reaction was "Hmmmm...d'ya think..." ;)

Tracii G
06-20-2019, 02:40 PM
I am well aware of that Roberta I was just teasing a little.

Meghan4now
06-20-2019, 04:01 PM
Dang, I forgot all about the Hamvention! I probable could have unloaded a bunch of stuff, and would have loved to met Stana. Why we are calling her Sister A is beyond me. She has a very public presence and her blog is one of the best out there!

Robertacd
06-20-2019, 04:13 PM
Some people don't want to "name names". :p

Ressie
06-21-2019, 11:01 AM
How's it look over your shoulder? Bra strap?