Submissive feelings ?

[Jean. Ann]

Do you equate being somewhat submissive with crossdressing ?
Or feel more sub when dressed
Just curious ?
Does your outlook change
Are you almost a different person ?

JAS

[Tracii G]

No never.
Why would you be a different person?
Its not about sex for me so I would guess dressing for you is about sex?

[Jean. Ann]

Perhaps bad choice of words
It is not really a sexual feeling for me
But I feel different when dressed
more freedom to be me
Calmer quieter more relaxed
Not sure how to describe it accurately

JAS

[Macey]

Less aggressive maybe?

[Tracii G]

I know what you saying Jean and there are a lot of CDs just like you .
Pretty common in the CD world actually.

[Micki_Finn]

Oh hell no! In fact I’m so the opposite! Being dressed, and especially in drag, I am much more outgoing, brassy, and confident.

[Tracy Irving]

I'm still the same person, just in different clothes.

[Majella St Gerard]

Only during "playtime"

[Robertacd]

I am still me, but I do try to be less pushy and more lady like when out dressed.

[Teresa]

Jean Ann,
Not submissive but calmer , even tempered hopefully a better person .

[Jean. Ann]

Perhaps these " less aggressive " more cooperative
qualities are always there , but dressing makes they
easier more available for expression .
While dressing is not a sexual thing per sa
There is that component , dressing can make me feel
Sensual ,attractive sexy !
Many
GGs have told me nice clothes give them those
feelings



JAS

[CourtneyJamieson]

One of the things I love about going out dressed. I DO feel more submissive. I spend my life as a guy making all the decisions, being the one in charge, always being the one who takes the initiative. When I go out dressed I feel more submissive. I let others take charge and decide things. I am a totally different person.

[Lea]

Dressing is an avenue for me to feel complete and an outlet to let me express who I am. If I dress for a couple of days I feel things more with emotions. A touch, when my wife brings me flowers and that I can appreciate what I have and not always be striving for more.
I do not feel submissive nor do I look at my wife as being submissive. I am more nurturing and my wife loves the foot rubs or that I will listen to her problems without interrupting with a solution and just let her express her feelings.

[Crissy 107]

calmer , even tempered hopefully a better person .
I think Teresa has made some good points here, after I came out to my wife she described me this way. She also said I was a nicer person.

[Dannie1]

Avoiding detail I have a very fun relationship and I’m also very open and enjoy being submissive. It terms of crossdressing it MAY of had this attached to it but it’s certainly not why I do it. So I agree (sort of)

[Michellebej]

Yeppers.

Him: large and in charge. A Military man with unquestioned authority. The same in social circles and family life. Not an overbearing dictator by any means, but no one, and I mean no one does not move when he says "jump".

Me: submissive, but not terminally so. I still retain my independence, but I rarely like to make decisions that regard others or impose my will on other people; unless it is necessary.

But I am more transgendered and not a man in a dress.

[Patience]

Not almost. Definitely different. One masculine, the other one feminine.

That submissive thing you’re talking about is more of a personal desire that you’re allowing yourself to express (or project) through your dressing. That’s on you.

[Yinlingyen]

I am a very submissive person and being dressed just allows me to take it a step further.
I enjoy pleasing my date and have him take control.
I find it enjoyable when he chooses which outfit I wear for the night when we have a date.
Letting him be boss makes me feel more feminine and wanted as a woman.

[Connie D50]

Yes Jean I feel the same way.

[GretchenM]

Like Teresa and Crissy, I am much calmer. But otherwise about the same when dressed. Less aggressive, but not submissive = assertive. Definitely a change that is more comfortable than in masculine mode. Feminine? Feminine, to me, is a really big word that includes a huge variety of highly variable behavior traits that are hard to separate and collect under a single concept. To me, feminine and masculine are very complex concepts that are really hard to define. Way too many varieties. So, for me, it is better to look at single behavior traits that we associate with each of these two gender forms. The total gender forms are hard to define, but you know them when you see them because your brain integrates all that you see into a single, non-verbal image that is recognized as being one or the other or something in between.

[Brianne]

I would be very submissive if that would make my wife accepting. But I wish we could just be girlfriends.

[Cheryl T]

Only during "playtime"

Most definitely during "playtime".

[docrobbysherry]

No. I find becoming Sherry to be exciting, stimulating, and enervating!:D

[Stephanie47]

I have the same inner feelings en femme or my male self. Frankly, I hate it when I see women defer to the husbands/boyfriends or social/business acquaintances. I also hate it when some guy seems to demand it in his relationship with a woman. I've told the women in my family not to take crap off anyone, male or female. Their opinions and efforts are just as valuable as any man's opinion or effort. I suggest you all have a conversation with your wives, daughters and other women in your families. And, make sure your relationship is not injurious to your young daughters and granddaughters.

[Ressie]

Playtime? Yes.

[kimdl93]

I did at one time. Oddly, I think it was when I operated under the mistaken notion that women were expected to be submissive....had to be coaxed into sex...weaker sex...all that nonsense. Then I saw it as a way to disguise my gender...it's not my gender identity... it's a sexual kink. Again, more self-deception at work. Nowadays, I don't muddle up sexuality and gender identity nearly so much as I did some decades ago.

[suzanne]

I am naturally submissive at heart, and I can't really identify the origin of it. When drab, I look like a complete alpha male, and people expect me to be ready to take command. My sports history has placed me mainly in prominent alpha positions. I do okay at it but it's just not me, and at the end of the day, I am sick of it all. Dressing isn't as much an escape for me as a return to a more natural state. Maybe a distinction without a difference?

[sometimes_miss]

Because of how I was brought up, I have always felt both submissive and that I was supposed to be the one acted upon, sexually and socially. I had to learn how to behave like a 'standard issue male' in order to get females interested in me, but it's never just come naturally; it's all just an act. If I don't concentrate on 'acting the part', I can easily forget and slip into submissive, follower mode. Having to act as something that I'm not can be exhausting, but I've found that it's the only way to keep other people from taking advantage of me/abusing me. Even though I've grown up big and tall, the wolves are always at the door, only one step away, so to speak. Men are always trying to one-up each other, there's always a perceived pecking order no matter who, or where, you are.

[Ressie]

Good post Lexi and I can relate to it. I've never been the dominant alpha type and it's been a disadvantage throughout my life. I've never liked the game which is one reason I like being self employed.

Being a bit smaller than the average man is the main reason I'm like this. As a result I feel sorry for those guys that are smaller and weaker than I am.

[Wendy me]

As for me as him very outgoing loud in charge as wendy as loud and in charge as needed

My side I look at as crossdressing wendy after all she is in charge not a fear abought being cought or outed so I guess I feel very wendy

[Asew]

I am pretty submissive in general, but I think I am about the same submissiveness dressed or drab.

[JenniferR771]

I am quiet and shy. Partly due to being rather small as a man, 5' 6". My wife takes over frequently. We make it work--we fit together.

[Veronica4me]

Some of us may behave differently when en femme vs. drab, but being submissive when en femme vs. drab is a behavior and aspect of character or fantasy. Crossdressing is not a part of character or even a choice, but a fact of life ... a necessity for us, really. My two cents.

[DanielleCD]

I wouldn't say submissive but more emotional... well I let my emotions ride freely when dressed and feeling feminine.

[Bea_]

I actually felt more submissive when i avoided clothes that might upset the wife. I feel much less submissive now that the norm has been for me to wear more what i want around the house. That makes life much more calm in itself.

I don't feel the least bit dominant now, but the relationship seems to be much more equal.

[Janine cd]

Yes, I feel very submissive when dressed feminine, but there is no one to submit to. It's just the feeling that I wish to be loved as a woman, but there is no one there to respond.

[April T]

I am what is known as a switch so often feeling submissive, especially when dressed.

[Mickitv]

I am generally submissive however I am dressed and not any more so dressed as a woman.

[chrissietoo]

I think Teresa has made some good points here, after I came out to my wife she described me this way. She also said I was a nicer person.

I had the same response from a girlfriend. Once she got over the shock of discovering me in her bra and panties, and I began underdressing, she said she liked how Chrissie was so sweet and easy to be with. She said that was what attracted her to me in the first place, and now it was more than ever. Our sex changed, too...soft, gentle, very hot (and I would say she led the way).

[Lindajane]

In day to day syraight male zone not sub by any means. When dressed i am not ashamed to admit that i would like nothing more than tp please a man. Also, when i see cd's in public its a turn on.

[jacques]

hello Jean,
what a good question - my first reaction was "yes", but actually dressing up chases my worries away and gives me confidence.
luv J

[Karmen]

I'm a very submissive person and scaredy-cat by nature and when being fully dressed I'm even less willing to challenge anyone. If confronted by anyone in person when I'm in public fully or even partly dressed in outer female clothes, I'll do what I'm told to do, rather than resist.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Submissive? Yes, I am. When I am Roxanne, and I am most of the time, I am a very submissive girl. I just love being that way!
Roxanne, "A wife, maybe?"

[Jean. Ann]

It actually varies with me
Sometimes feel very submissive docile
the old stereotype of how women should be
Quiter more calm agreeable cooperative
At other times a strong confident assertive
Woman . Ready to take on the world
And looking Fabulous (to me ) while doing it


JAS

[laura.lapinski]

I wouldn't consider myself submissive or dominant. I am just private and introverted. I sometimes feel like I am submissive, but I am more of the romantic type. Being loved and accepted, and having someone show me that in both actions and physical touches, etcetera and reciprocating is the thing I like.

[Dana3]

I wouldn't say I'm either really, although. I've been told by individuals (The majority ~ 99 99% only know me in male mode) that I come across as not only very masculine, dominant, and so~called "Alpha Male" but as intimidating 😲

This comes I would suppose from having spent half of my twenty years in the Marnie Corps training recruits at Parris Island, South Carolina
(Drill Instructor, Marksmanship Instructor, etc.)

Another trait that comes into play, is when in work 💼 mode, I'm extremely focused, and tend to tune out any distractions.

But in truth, in an ideal world 🌎

I would nothing more than to be "The Wife", and all that entails in a FL relationship ~ marriage 💏 with a GG.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jean Ann :hugs:, No matter what uniform I am wearing I am still the same person underneath everything.

>>>>>>Orchid .OO:daydreaming:OO.

[abbiedrake]

Wow this thread has run the gamut, huh? All the way from, 'yeah, I'm a freaky soul in the bedroom' to Internet personality test. 😁
I've fantasised about being submissive but the reality never worked. Never.
I'm neither the stereotypical Alpha nor the alternative. I've always resisted playing the game. It's rigged. People typically have trouble placing me in hierarchy because they seem incapable of figuring where I fit.
For myself this means I've always had a somewhat outsider perspective that's caused a little loneliness in its time but also comfort from the pressures of comformity.
I'll happily consent to a course of action I agree with. I'll even respect a consensus I don't share. But I'll be ready with the right plan when things go belly up. It's certainly not a submissive stance, but neither is it overbearing nor disregarding of others' perspective.
Unquestioning submissive smacks too much of an abdication of self-determination. I fought too hard for recognition of that right to ever hand it over.
Of course Wifeling might have plenty to contradict me on here 😜, were she to contribute (unlikely for the time being).

As for whether I'm any different when dressed? Well I take a little more care with how I move maybe. However I have a similar highened self-awareness when I'm wearing my suits. Dressing femme or wearing a suit I'm more aware of myself and I stand taller, move a little differently. But no, I don't put on a dress and become a doting female simpleton, who lacks any self-will.
I have though wondered if it would change my level of my wife's acceptance of CDing if I was demonstrably a different person. Maybe that would be easier to deal with, maybe not. 🤔

[Bea_]

Submissiveness, by definition is "yielding to another's authority or will". Having limits set by another person's 'boundaries' is submission. Even fear of SO's reaction, especially when based on past reactions, is submission. DADT is submission.

Any time one partner's behavior is determined by the other's willingness to accommodate, the person who is making the determination is the dominant player and the person accommodating is being submissive.

Ultimately, a successful partnership happens when both partners are equally considerate and accommodating the the other's needs and desires.

[abbiedrake]

Bea I think there's a line that can be drawn between 'submission' and 'compromise'. I'm not currently dressing, at my wife's request, but I don't feel like that's submission per se. I've modified my own will in the short term because I recognise her needs currently are greater than my own. If she were to capitulate and let me dress as I saw fit, despite her obvious misgivings I would be more than a little disquiet Ed at how overbearing I must be to inspire such submission.
Sacrifice is another thing, sharing food for example. If I were ceding food to a supposed alpha in an act of submission? Well, I couldn't countenance that. But giving it to someone in greater need? What's submissive about that?
But then I think you kind of argued the same points despite a fairly black and white first para. 😁

[Bea_]

Abbie,
I'd guess that my post came across as being totally anti-submission. But, the first paragraph of my post was directed to the original post asking about crossdressing making me feel 'submissive'.

True compromise is more of an 'equal submission' for both parties. If it's agreed upon and is reasonable, no problem. If one party unilaterally sets the boundaries and the other complies because the cost of non-compliance is too high, it's one-sided submission.

But, you have made me rethink the DADT=submission position. DADT, if truly an acceptable situation for both parties, would be equal submission or 'compromise'. But, for me, it would kinda be the equivalent of 'making love with the lights off' so your partner isn't disgusted to see what you really look like.

In my personal case, my wife has submitted to a big degree by an often reluctant tolerance of my style. She's helped me pick out things and occasionally even compliments what I'm wearing. But, it's very clear that she wishes it would just go away.

I have submitted by trying to be considerate of the ill defined and gradually changing boundaries of her comfort zone. But, at some point, I begin to feel that she just married the wrong guy, and for some very specific reasons, I don't want to be the 'right' guy.

[chrissietoo]

Bea I think there's a line that can be drawn between 'submission' and 'compromise'. I'm not currently dressing, at my wife's request, but I don't feel like that's submission per se. I've modified my own will in the short term because I recognise her needs currently are greater than my own. If she were to capitulate and let me dress as I saw fit, despite her obvious misgivings I would be more than a little disquiet Ed at how overbearing I must be to inspire such submission.
Sacrifice is another thing, sharing food for example. If I were ceding food to a supposed alpha in an act of submission? Well, I couldn't countenance that. But giving it to someone in greater need? What's submissive about that?
But then I think you kind of argued the same points despite a fairly black and white first para. 😁

I think there is accommodation in any relationship, just doing things to make something work, and that usually takes compromise. I look at being submissive as more of a personality or emotional trait, gaining emotional satisfaction when another's needs or desires are dominant. I'm naturally somewhat submissive, and when I'm dressed I naturally express that more; and that feels satisfying and right. (and sexually, it's awesome IMSO (In My Submissive Opinion).

I gather there are men who want to be MADE to dress as a submissive thing. I want to dress first and for many reasons and when I'm dressing I am more submissive and emotionally satisfied by giving in to another and putting their needs and desires first.

[abbiedrake]

Oh I understand of lot of that, Chrissie.
It's somewhat amusingly paradoxical that sexual submission is a power transfer, which is perfectly healthy.
Of course submission, particularly outside the bedroom, as required condition is neither healthy nor desirable, whether that's actual slavery or toxic masculinity matters little.
Interestingly, as noted, submission works for me on a fantasy level to a degree but for real bedroom fun my kicks lay in being a top. To each their own. Delightfully.

[April T]

I switch.