I'm either a slow learner or underestimated my family and friends

[Sarah Doepner]

I've been coming out as transgender to family and friends in advance of my 70th birthday. So far it's all been nothing but some surprise, lots of positive reactions, and more support and love than I might have expected. Yes, it's been a long time coming but I guess things move at their own pace, most of the time. It took years to get here and now it's moving rather quickly.

Yesterday as I was coming home from a counseling session I got a call from my landscape guy who was at my house fixing a small problem. I picked him because his wife is a former co-worker. A few months ago that kind of call would throw me into panic mode as I came up with lies and excuses of why I couldn't be there to let him in the house to examine the sprinkler timer. But I came out to them a couple weeks ago and I went straight home where it was just business and catching up. Later his wife sent me a text saying he described me as "beautiful", their words, not mine. I felt pretty normal and dressed casual to blend in with only minimal makeup in the heat of the day.

This morning I sent an email with a Sarah photo to an old friend who I recently told but probably won't be seeing me anytime soon. Seeing the message "Email has been sent" didn't even cause butterflies, how odd is that?

So is this what life can be like when you are open and honest about who you are? I know I'm not very bright, but I keep thinking this lesson took a lot longer than it should have. It didn't, of course, since many things in life have changed over the years and many of the issues I saw as risks in the past no longer exist, except as memories or unfounded fears.

[AllieSF]

Been there done that. It is so, so liberating and eye opening. Now, positive reactions at the beginning do not always translate into long term positive reactions. I learned that too. Congratulations and enjoy. Your new life and identity will become so normal so quickly it really is beautiful and a very nice feeling in spite of an occasional setback.

[RADER]

That is great, Having people accept you is a big support for you.
I my self are a little over 70, And I do not think any one in my family
would be accepting, so I stay in the closet. When I pass on, they will
be supersized on what is in my closet.
Rader

[Tracii G]

No matter how long it has been you have finally made it and thats a good thing.
I'm really happy for you.

[BTWimRobin]

I am so happy for you. It is a wonderful feeling to come out to people and have them be accepting and supportive.

[Jenny22]

Sarah, my friend, I am so very happy for you and the positive progress in your new life. Hang in there, Sarah. It will only get better. How long on HRT, now?

[Jean 103]

Simply yes, this is want it's like to be out.

And than it can all flip. Where representing female is normal and representing male feels funny.

[Teri Ray]

Sarah what a great story. I am happy for you.

[Sidney]

Smiles. Ill be 73 in October. Its never to late.

[lingerieLiz]

happy for you. nice when you don't have to hide.

[Connie D50]

Sarah thank you for sharing it was a great post.

[Sarah Doepner]

Thanks everyone. I've benefited from a lot of good advice and great examples here on this forum over the years. Evidently I've done a reasonably good job of picking friends over the years, raising kids who understand the value of diversity and maybe, just maybe didn't piss as many people off as I thought I had. I'll be coming up on 10 months HT shortly, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with anything else going on in my life, right? ;-)

I'm still working on developing a few more allies around one particular in-law family member, but if that fails I'll have to rely on the 50 years of support and love I've demonstrated for his family, particularly when he wasn't around to do it himself. Will it work? Don't know but I'm tired of giving him that power over my decisions and my happiness.

[Rogina B]

Sarah, Just exude confidence and give off the "I am good with me" feeling to all others around you.It doesn't matter what this guy thinks is the message you are then giving off...Never flinch,nor blink...

[Teresa]

Sarah,
I guess it happens when it happens !! Maybe many of us look back and wished we'd pushed harder but there are so many circumstances to consider .

It has had to happen much quicker for me since I separated , I had no reason to chop and change anymore so it's just becomming familiar with being TG and dressed accordingly and meet the RW head on . The carpet fitters only last week were fine , I made them a coffee and we chatted , all perfectly normal and why not ?

[GracieRose]

Evidently I've done a reasonably good job of picking friends over the years, raising kids who understand the value of diversity and maybe, just maybe didn't piss as many people off as I thought I had.
Sarah,

So happy to hear about your experiences coming out. I like to believe that most people are honestly nice and tend to be more accepting of a person that they directly know and deal with face to face, than a group that they can think of as "them". I think that your comment above also probably works to your advantage.

-Peace
-Gracie

[robbieatbest]

good to hear Sarah, I am 70 next yer and I am on a similar campaign of being open about being "Trans". I am not taking hormones though.
Cheers
Robbie

[Bobbi46]

I'm very happy for you like with me it was like big weight off my shoulders worrying if my life would become common knowledge and when it did was there any need for all of that worry? no everybody I told fully accepted me. I dearly hope it will be the same for you..
Anew life style has started for you, embrace it with all you have and enjoy.