The sister in law knows

[jessicabf]

So interesting development. My SO was chatting with her sister, and it “slipped out” that I dressed. I was mortified when my SO told me. But now they want to go shopping and pick out something for me. I am not home, and won’t be for awhile. SO wants to do it the day before I get back, and surprise me. I guess I should be excited, but I’m nervous.

[amandagurl2014]

What a lovely situation to be in, the envy of many on here.

[Sidney]

Lord gal, relax and enjoy. They could be holding pichforks. It should be fine.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

May we all be cursed with such problems. When do you figure this surprise will happen?

[jessicabf]

I am moving the family out to Missouri, and am already here settling in the new job. Will fly back July 4th to help pack up the house we sold. To save money i’m flying to a larger city, and my wife is driving over to pick me up. Her sister lives in that city. She is thinking to meet to the day before.

I know I should be excited, but it’s the first time someone other than my wife knows. All the worst case scenarios keep running through my mind. >.<

[alwayshave]

Jessica, I think I'd be angry if my wife let that slip. If your OK with it, good for you.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Yes, I think if my wife knew, then my sister in law heard, it'd be pretty much like putting billboards up and sending out a Rhonda Alert. And my in laws are up the hill from here, walking distance.

Anyhow, guess the rest of us will have to be excited about the surprise they're planning.

[Bobbi46]

The worst that can happen is that the rest of your family find out if your SO let it slip out whats to stop your SIL letting it slip out further? no problem if your parents and everybody else are onboard with this but what if? I have been lucky with friends and so forth knowing butits not the same every time. In a way if I was you I would brace myself for some seriously bad fall out.
may the gods go with you, I hope the future bodes well for you.

[Happygirl!]

Hmmm, they might ask you to do a fashion show for them. Love it.

[Robbiegirl]

Jessica based on your other posts, sounds like you have a great wife so I'm sure it will all work out !

I am known for my sense of humor and have teased my sister in law to death over the years ! If she found out she would have a field day and for sure she would want me to model several of her things !

May I ask how it could just have "slipped Out " ?

Did it have to do with the move and maybe all the extra dresses ?

Oh and is your SIL the same size as your wife ?

[Amy Lynn3]

WOW !! You are in a great situation. Two GG's to shop with is a dream come true for many and you are beautiful in your Avatar. All that should bode well for you. Who cares if your SIL tells others ? You have the most important person in your life on your side.....your wife. Have fun with all this and don't worry....100 years from now nobody will remember. lol

[docrobbysherry]

I usually HATE IT when someone buys something for Sherry! It never fits rite, doesn't look good on me, or is not my style!:doh:

I usually just smile, say thank u, and forget about it!:brolleyes:

[Micki_Finn]

Omg you should totally ask them to wait so that you can go along. 1) Their taste probably won’t match yours 2) if you’re there you can ask questions and get feedback from a couple of GGs so you can learn!

[Angie G]

If your sister In low is cool with it then I say How sweet it is. :hugs:
Angie

[carhill2mn]

I can understand why you are nervous but what a great opportunity! Embrace it and enjoy!

[KymG]

The shopping sounds great.
May i ask how it slipped out?
This happened with some friends of mine, after only telling one person, now its about 8 or 9...

[Stephanie47]

One of the issues not mentioned in the comments so far is how cross dressing affects a wife. When we were having "The Talk" years ago she expressed the inability to have someone to share her feelings. I've always said a wife ends up being held captive with the secret too. Since the 'cat is out of the bag' your wife now has someone to share your mutual secret. It is probably somewhat of a relief for her. She now has a close confident to express any misgivings or issues that may arise.

I suspect the initial feelings will be something akin to apprehension. However, I think it will be a load off your mind and your wife's mind.

[Eemz]

I know it's scary when people you haven't told start to find out. It probably feels like you have slightly lost some control over an important situation. That's probably part of the nervousness.

Stephanie is right though; your SO needs support outside of you and she wouldn't have told her sister if she didn't trust her to be supportive - and she was right; look at the results.

Don't overthink it - just enjoy :)

[jessicabf]

These are great perspectives. Thx.

My wife says that her sister got into “reading numbers”. I’m not sure what that means. She reads a persons numbers to get insights into them? Idk.

But anyways, she said that my numbers and my wife’s number connect in a way that means we have an exciting “intimate life”. She asked my wife if that was true, she said definitely “interesting and fun”. When my SIL asked again later what she meant, my wife sent her a link to xdress.com.

My SIL thought it was great. So my wife send her a picture of a dress she had bought me. They bonded. So now they are going to go shopping just together.
X-)

I panicked when I found out, but my wife assured me that it would stay between them. ( *biteslip* )

No one else knows about my other side, beside all you girls in the forum. So yeah, life’s developments. >.<

I agree that I think my wife needed another female to confide in. And she has been so supportive from the beginning and guess I should support her back.

So her sister is bigger, but has the same hair and eye color and complexion. (Maybe get a makeup tutorial from her instead of makeup counter? Lol) To big for my wife or I clothing wise. I’m not an overly large guy, 5’9-ish and 155lbs. I am usually in a size 12 or 14 dress.

But yeah... thanks for the replies. I get the idea that it’s fun to have two sisters wanting to shop for me. But the years for mental stigma in me makes it hard to just relax about it.

ttfn

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks for the compliment. I need to post and updates pic. Hm. My wife did a test and says I am good with “cool summer” colors. I guess that means I need to ditch the red dress and get one with cooler tones.


WOW !! You are in a great situation. Two GG's to shop with is a dream come true for many and you are beautiful in your Avatar. All that should bode well for you. Who cares if your SIL tells others ? You have the most important person in your life on your side.....your wife. Have fun with all this and don't worry....100 years from now nobody will remember. lol

[Crissy 107]

Jessica, You are a very lucky girl for sure, if my SIL knew everyone we know would know. That would be a nightmare for my wife not to mention me.
Go enjoy the heck out of this. 😀

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm at the point where I almost don't care if my family finds out.

My 50th high school anniversary is coming up, and I'm contemplating wearing an evening gown. My nosy first cousin was in my graduating class and once she finds out, the whole family will know. My parents both passed 15 and 20 years ago, and I only have one brother. The rest of "my whole family" is pretty small and one cousin is a Lesbian who married another woman a few years ago. I used to think another cousin was a Lesbian also, but now that I know so much more since the last time I saw her, I think she's probably FTM.

I might take a chance. It would be fun to shock my schoolmates. I also know that another classmate is TG/CD, so maybe we could have fun with the whole thing.

[Leelou]

What a great story, Jessica. Thanks so much for sharing. As others have mentioned, and you addressed in a response, it was good for your wife to be able to talk to someone about your crossdressing. It reminds me of what happened after I came out to my first wife in my early 20's. I actually came out to her before we got married and she was accepting. She did talk to one of her girlfriends because she just needed to talk to someone about it. It turned out that it totally let the cat out of the bag and I was soon out to our whole group of friends. I was never upset with her for talking to her friend. I understood she needed to talk to someone. It turned out to be a really cool time because no one freaked out about it.

As others have mentioned, you're very fortunate. Have fun and enjoy this! It's really fun to be out of the closet to someone beyond your SO.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Cool story Jessica;

Sometimes a spouse or SO wants or needs to talk to someone and use just about anything as an excuse. In my line of work , you would be surprised at some of the things clients let "slip". Most of the time it's something small about their spouse at other times I don't know whether to laugh, cry or run at some of the things they say. Just this week I learned what a 'thrupple" is. It was an awkward moment as I wasn't sure why they were imparting this information.

Also don't expect it to stay between the 3 of you. The only time a secret is a secret is when only you know about it.

Looking forward to hear what the gift is.

[Eemz]

> years for mental stigma in me makes it hard to just relax about it.

That's exactly it Jessica; you hit the nail on the head for a lot of us here. We spent years believing our world would *end* if anyone ever found out; you can't just switch that off overnight. Its great when it doesn't happen, but hard to trust it. It'll take some time for enough real experience to build up on the other side of the scales to balance out these imaginary fears. In the meantime, don't panic, maybe use the logical part of your brain to push yourself to trust it a bit more than your fears want you to. That helped me anyway.

[April Rose]

Jessica, some years ago I decided that it wasn't fair to my wife to keep her in the closet with me. I made it clear that she was free to talk about my crossdressing with anyone she felt comfortable discussing it with. Since then she's talked it over with her
sister, and several of her closest friends. Several of these have spoken about it with their spouses, whom we also are friends with.

The net effect on me has been positive. None of them ever has even mentioned it, unless I bring it up. When I have, (which is rarely) the response has been positive or neutral, and my wife has been less stressed about the whole thing. She has friends she can blow off steam with when she needs to.

Plus , your sister in law doesn't live in the city where you will be living and working. I say, just enjoy the ride.

[RachelB.]

If your sister in law is like mine I would definitely would go shopping with them. She is nice but has awful taste in clothes!

[Bea_]

I'm anxious to read what the outcome is when you get home. Please keep us posted.

[jessicabf]

You all are just sweeties with the advice.

Holy crap i’m not ready to go shopping with my SIL, even if they are. >.< one step at a time. I get too nervous with just my wife and I at stores. She held a dress up to me once at a TJMaxx, and I almost fainted. But there was an element of fun... she got the dress and it’s great!

I get the whole thing mentally, but oh-my.

We’ll see what next week brings.

[syome]

Once you get more comfortable, I would check out White House Black Market, I remember there is one in CoMo and I have had nothing but great experiences at every one. They will genuinely help you, if you tell them kind of what you are looking for, like girls night out or brunch and they will find you things to try on and help you figure out sizing and what not. I had them help me with matching accessories to outfits too and make you feel super comfortable.

[jessicabf]

Cool. I’ll have to look it up. At least take a look. Thx!

[Kelli_cd]

White House Black Market is owned by Chico's, who also owns Soma. My local Soma boutiques are very helpful and accommodating.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jessica :hugs:, That is so awesome. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[EmilyJade]

Take that step and run with it! I would! I've almost asked my wife if she thinks her sister could handle knowing about this? It would be awesome if it worked out, but it could also go very bad very quick.... To late for what if's? She already knows! Chin up, breast out and go for it! 👗👠👢👜

[Sherrii]

Go with the flow and enjoy whatever they come up with.

[jessicabf]

Time will tell. Should have details next week. Could be fun. My wife said that SIL will surely want bright colors. ;-)

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

If your sister in law is like mine I would definitely would go shopping with them. She is nice but has awful taste in clothes!

Don't know if I'd call my SIL's taste awful, but wouldn't hire her as my stylist for sure.

[jessicabf]

Here’s an update:

So the week my SO was going to head down and go shopping for me with her sister, my nephew had a seizure. He is fine, but that put a damper on the shopping.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, my SIL was visiting my SO (remember I am not in the same state right now). They got talking and the topic of Las Vegas and dressing services came up. My SIL became really excited and wants to plan a trip, get made up and then go to a fancy restaurant.

Then later she found out that there is a place where you can get “married” again but the bride and groom switch clothes. On a TV show? So that is now at the top of the list.

Has anyone heard of that? Do you know of a place?

[lingerieLiz]

My wife let it out to all her friends. Who I'm sure told their husbands. Didn't loose any friends because of it. Picked up several shopping partners. Over the years the women have enjoyed shopping with me. I have purchased women's clothes including lingerie while shopping with them. A lot of it is self assurance. I've loaned out clothes to some of our female friends.

BTW My SIL knows too. She went to hug me and slid her hand under my loose jacket. The look she gave me was WTF and then she slid her hand across my band. Didn't say anything but I had enough projection there was no question as we did the hug and our breasts met. Eventually we found out we wore the same size bras.

[Connie D50]

Jessica have fun enjoy the fact that you have a great SO and sister in Law. By the way your soooo cute in your picture you have nothing to worry about.

[Sherrii]

You had best go with the flow and learn to have the fun we all dream of.

[jessicabf]

Thanks Connie. My SO bought some more makeup for us, so I plan to work on it more. I guess I need to work hard to be voted prettiest bride when we go. ;-)

[Traci H]

Jessica, I sometimes wish my situation would slip out with my wife. I think if she had another person she could confide in, life would be easier for her. I suppose the fear would be that the situation might slowly get out to others would also scare her. As it presently stands, my wife is deathly afraid that someone will find out and they will think very poorly of her and her situation. She has mentioned on several occasions when we fight/discuss my crossdressing, that she is saddled with this terrible secret and can discuss it with no one. She doesn't even wish to go to a therapist for fear they will tell her it is OK

So I think you are in a pretty good spot, even if your secret slowly gets out. As many here have found, it is just not that big of a deal to many anymore...thank God.

To be asked to go shopping with a couple of GG's that had your best interest in mind?....I'd be nervous too, but also would feel I had died and went to heaven and then some!

Traci

[leannejacobs]

Lap it up, my SO told her best friend a while ago and she's cool with it, she's even seen me dressed a few times. No shopping trips yet though, I live in a small town.

[ronny0]

The worst that can happen is that the rest of your family find out if your SO let it slip out whats to stop your SIL letting it slip out further? .

I don't know that I agree with that thought.
Another take might be that your SO wants you to be more open and share your desires.
Telling other people IMO is only going to make it easier for you to feel comfortable while dressed.
I would expect we would all want to live in a world where everyone knew and it wasn't something we feel we need to hide / keep in the closet...