Opening up, not the disaster I thought it would be

[CD Rachel]

After a nice evening with my wife last night she flat out asked me if there was anything that I felt that I needed to tell her... I was like... Whut?? She asked me again if there was anything that I was holding back that I really needed to share with her. (How is it that they always know?) At this point I started panicking. I am so afraid of telling her that I have been dressing in secret that I was shaking. But how can I lie to her again? So I told her that I have something that I need to tell her but I am not sure how to say it. After a couple minutes I could not find any easy way to say it so I just blurted out that I have been cross dressing. She sat quietly for a a few seconds and then said "Is that all? You had me really worried there."

She asked a few questions and then said she was not ready to see me that way but assured me that she would not deny me if that is what I wanted to do. We held hands and I was so overcome by relief that i started crying. She reassured me that it was ok but she just needs some time to process this information. She told me she did not know before i told her but she has been having a feeling for a long time that I was holding back in our relationship and she wanted to give me the chance to be open with her.

so this morning she approaches me and asks is there anyplace local that cross dressers go to hang out together? Then asks if there is anyplace nearby that cross dressers shop and that we could go shopping together? She tells me that she is glad that i have opened up to her is wants us to share in this together. I asked about the time many years ago when I had broached this subject before and she admitted that she was afraid then of loosing me and that was why she rejected the idea of my cross dressing. I guess that so much has changed in the intervening years yet I just never thought that she would accept all of me.

I do not know what tomorrow holds but I am excited and hopeful that this proves to be a bonding experience for us rather then the destruction of our marriage that I have so long feared.

Thanks for being here for me to be able to share this with.

Ray

[Micki_Finn]

Congratulations. Glad to hear it went so well.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Very sweet.

[RADER]

That is great news; At least you have open a door. Now please go slow, so she can take it in
slowly and not be to over burdened with your wishes.
My wife was OK with my dressing, she had one rule, do not go out dressed as to embarrass her.
That was OK with me as I would never pass anyway.
My wife often would order things from the Catalog, Because of my size, most Box Stores did not
cray my size, so ordering was the way to go.
Good Luck.
Rader

[abbiedrake]

So very happy for you, Rachel.

[Bea_]

It's a very good thing that she was sensitive to the fact that there were hidden issues and that she approached it in an open manner. That's a very good start and I hope that you both enjoy the journey ahead.

[Macey]

*whew* what a relief! Congrats to the both of you!

[Majella St Gerard]

Good Luck, just remember, women are fickle.

[JaclynL61]

Excellent Rachel and good luck. Just take it slow and easy.

[Helen_Highwater]

Rachel,

So pleased for you. Just remember to take it steady and not push things too quickly. Now you've opened dialogue it might be worth asking what would she be uncomfortable with. For some it seems from what I've read here it's heels, others forms or a wig. Your SO might find all of those just par for the course especially as she asked about CD friendly venues.

It's always best to know where the minefields are and avoid them.

[Jenny22]

Rachel, Google this if you need any help.. could be of value: crossdressing support groups in northeast pennsylvania

[alwayshave]

Rachel, That is a wonderful story of acceptance.

[Lynn Sealy]

I am very happy for you. You are brave to tell her. She is kind and loving to be open to you.

[Jean 103]

You are truly blessed to have such a beautiful person in your life.

[StephanieIndy]

Give your wife a big hug Rachel, it sounds like she is great! Just remember that it can be difficult for them to accept at times, and some things may “trigger” her more than others. For me, my partner can not stand me wearing a nightdress, but literally anything else is fine. Take things slow and things will work out great!

[Mermaiden]

Your wife is a really great person. She is able to understand you, support you and extra points for pushing you to talk about it. I’ve never met her (of course) but I really like her!

[Stephanie47]

I perused some of your comments elsewhere. Married sufficiently long enough for your wife to know who you are and who you are not. Since cross dressing had been discussed in the distant past, she probably had some suspicions what was affecting you. I think the vast majority of wives can figure out their husbands. I suspect when she said "Is that all?" may be a realization cross dressing is a minor part of you. Sort of the scales of marriage. Cross dressing on one side totally unbalanced by the weight of shared years.

If your wife has put her toes in the water, don't push her in. Let her wade in at her own speed.

[Angie G]

That's great Rachel. Don't go too fast with it don't want to spook her. :hugs:
Angie

[BTWimRobin]

Well that's a huge relief! I am very happy for you. Like others have said, take it slow and try not to overwhelm her.

[MadiCD]

Congratulations! Sounds like you have a really good relationship.

[luuv2dress]

Congratulations on setting yourself free and having a wife that’s understanding

[Teresa]

Ray/Rachel,
I know how tough that decision is , caught in a dilemma knowing words cannot be retracted .

She took it well but as others may advise take it slow and make it clear it happens at her pace and her comfort zone . You're so lucky that it went well , it will take a while for it to sink in and let her think about the repercussions , she knows now but does she want others to know ?

I can fully understand the crying , when I came out I cried like I'd never cried before or since , it felt like a millstone lifted off my shoulders . Please also be prepared to enter a DADT situation after a while she will have her limits but I know it's all you will want to talk about at the moment .

[Tahoegurl]

Rachel,

I am glad it went well for you and your wife. It sounds like you can be on this journey together honestly from here on out. cheers.