What kind of life do you have as a Cross-Dresser?

[Judy-Somthing]

Is it great, tuff or?

I started at about 5 and in my mid teens and turned my friends on to it!
In my mid teens 15 to 19 I cross-dressed with friends and the girls would do our makeup!
Yes pot and alcohol was also part of the fun.
My wife (to be) heard some of the stories but must have thought it was just fooling around.

Of course it's hard to remember what I was thinking back when I was twenty but, I don't think I considered cross-dressing as something I had to do, it was just something I enjoyed doing!

The Answer for me is "I hate that I can't dress unless it's totally in secret" I don't like sneaking around!
Another thing is that my friends, brothers, sisters, and mother, thought it was OK. so what was I to think?

[Kaylin]

Love the post. I started back when I was around 11 or 12. I started sneaking my aunts dresses and pantyhose and dressing up in them whenever I could until I was caught then she allowed it. i came out to my wife about 4 months ago. But she wasn't surprised. She's found stockings and pantyhose in my sock drawer over the years. And some skirts etc. She wasn't shocked. LoL all is good :)

[sometimes_miss]

Closeted forever, now I'm going to retire to a much smaller community (away from NYC metro area), so it's probably not wise to out myself and become a front line warrior for the cause at 63, in a redneck territory. I may need my neighbors at times, so potentially causing them to think me a freak is probably not a good idea. We'll see as time goes on how everyone feels about gender bending after I settle into my new home.
Crossdressing has been my cross to bear for most of my life. I'm used to it. If I must continue to remain in the closet, so be it.

[Abbey11]

Things have been ok but not great, too much secrecy, but things maybe getting better. Just put a post on the from that explains.

[Maid_Marion]

Luckily I live in a rather accepting social bubble.

[NancySue]

My cding life is great...Like many, began early, have come to terms with myself, and have a wonderful accepting, helpful wife. My only issue is going out. We live in a very conservative, low tolerance community. Yes, I, occasionally, venture out, mostly after dark, but with much trepidation...flat tire, police, but mostly being seen and recognized. We once drove to an out of town mall, and still saw people we knew. Thankfully, they didn’t see us. We are active in our community. The social consequences of getting read, caught..would not be good. It’s especially frustrating when my urges to go out hit.

[Maria 60]

I don't remember the exact age but I remember sharing bedroom with my sister and wearing her things, mostly pantyhose and her slips. One week before marriage I threw everything out thinking I was never going to be wearing women's clothes again. Instead one week back from our honeymoon I put on her pantyhose and decided these feelings are real and I wasn't going to be a fugitive the rest of my life and when she came home from work I sat her down and told her everything from day one. My wife believed it was a fetish and wanted to see were I was going with it, she has called it a blessing and I call it a curse. Its a bitter sweet for her but she loves that she's the only one that shares my secret, she loves sharing things and shopping with me. Almost like she has the best of both words, a husband and a best friend. She believes we have a strong relationship because of the dressing. So I would think its ok because my wife enjoys it to, but sometimes I think it's a distraction in my life and stops me from other things. The bad part is always the fear of being caught and at time taking chances because in life we always want more.

[wendy]

For the longest time, I would classify my CDing as "tuff". When I lived with my parents, I had a lot of time to myself as my parents were usually at work, so I had a good chunk of time to CD. When I met my wife, it became much more challenging, as we spent much time together. When we decided to move in together, my CDing time plummeted, and when I did have time to myself, I was super paranoid for fear of being found out (I couldn't fully relax as Wendy as I feared my wife could come home at any time).

When I spent years in medical turmoil, my CDing practically stopped. After so many years, my medical issues have stabilized, and my CDing came back but with a vengeance. It was still a tuff time for me as my wife didn't know about Wendy.

After I admitted I to my wife about Wendy, I am classifying my CDing now as (very) good. She doesn't like me going out of the house as Wendy, but she has no problems with me being Wendy inside the house at all. Plus, when she is not around, I can fully relax as Wendy without any fear or paranoia of being caught.

[Jodie_Lynn]

It's been a mixed bag, full of ups and downs.

[AllieBellema]

Mostly closeted, outside of what I do cosplay wise.

Started in my mid-to-late teens and kept to my room. Mostly was girly halloween costumes, but occasionally I was able to search through my grandmas huge collection of clothes (she was a "KMartaholic") whenever I had the house to myself for a couple hours. Not too much clicked with me though. Got my first southern belle dress my senior year of HS when I managed to convince my grandpa to let me use his credit card for an "expensive halloween costume", which he never saw... except almost did when I was prepared to show him on Halloween, but got cold feet waiting for him to get off the phone.

These days, most of my public stuff has been cosplay related, with a few non cosplay stuff. Although, my choice of clothing makes it very hard to blend in so I'm pretty much limited to any conventions I go to where weird and unusual dress up is expected so I can get away with wearing a princess dress in public. So outside of that, I'm still pretty much closeted outside of what my friends have seen from me.

[deebra]

Judy it's hard to believe you turned your friends on to crossdressing. Also that your friends, brothers, sister and mother thought it was O.K. You said it, I believe you, just hard to believe that many would be O.K. with a guy dressing in girl clothes.

[Jean. Ann]

Crossdressing has brought joy and happiness
to my life . Too bad I can not share it more
The joy has by far outweighed the
hardships it may have caused .

JAS

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

the urge to crossdress(or maybe to transistion) has made my life so difficult and i have never really been a happy person even now with a tolerant wife

[Tracii G]

Its never been a hardship being me.
I don't worry what people think so that helps.Of course I care what my kids and my really close friends think because I care about them. They all know about me.
I have had my share of hardships and ups and downs like everyone else.

[Thelise]

the urge to crossdress(or maybe to transistion) has made my life so difficult and i have never really been a happy person even now with a tolerant wife
You need to talk more honey. Why is it so difficult? What is the weight you're bearing?

[Micki_Finn]

Pretty fantastic actually... like in the most literal sense. I’ve taken up drag, have a fashion designer for a friend, and my wife loves me turning a look.

[Cheryl T]

The early years were not so great. All the shame, guilt and hiding took it's toll on me.
Once I finally came out to my wife and to my delight she was fully accepting things have been so much better. I'd love more, but that's just my nature. Now we live in an area that's not very active in the lifestyle and I long for more interaction with others who share my feelings. We go out, but not as much now as before and I'd love to change that.

[April Rose]

it has gotten better over time.

[Jenny22]

Freedom to dress daily and to go out when and where I please. Life is beautiful!

[Thelise]

Dressing at the moment staves off despair and a deeper depression. It's comforting. Without it I'd be looking for distractions. The further I push the dressing the better I feel about myself, which leads me to think it's not a kinky crutch. The types of clothing I'm looking at hint at an overall style or aesthetic that encompasses both reveal and reserve. But blimey, it's an expensive exercise! My personal style as a male is thrifty, simple, "alternative", a little grungy, and it suites growing old in my opinion. But my developing girl persona is a lot more glamorous, and more demanding of an income, which I barely have. Tricky. We have to dress smart.
Linda from TV show Becker said: "You can be old, you can be poor, but not both." Huh, I'll show her!

[KarenSusan]

I consider crossdressing to be a curse, yet I would not want it to go away. How can that be?

[Stephanie47]

Until recently I usually had the opportunity to be en femme several times a week for seven hours per day. As a retiree with a working wife I found ample time to be en femme. My wife took annual trips for a week to see a cousin out of state. Those times I could be en femme 24/7 and also take evening strolls. Now my wife has sent in her resignation and she is now fully retired. I don't know how that is going to work out. I haven't started crawling the walls. Due to medical conditions we do sleep in separate bedrooms which does allow me to sleep in nylon gowns and panties. I am going to have to reassess my wardrobe. I always have had way too many dresses (162) and too much lingerie (slip and undergarments).

My wife and I have been in a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage when it comes to my cross dressing. She does not say anything snide or rude. She is supportive of gays and lesbians and transgender men and women. However, "Not in my backyard!" Several decades ago I did a reassessment of my goals. One was to try to convince my wife that she should be more tolerant or at least understanding. One year all I wanted for my birthday was for her to buy me some panties. We actually went to Mervyn's at our local mall. It was a fiasco for her. It made her so uncomfortable. I decided I was trying to get her approval as a way to make myself accept myself. If she accepted it, then it must be alright. I decided at that time I was really subjecting her to spousal mental abuse. Her idea of her husband does not include emulating a woman. She said, "If I wanted to be married to a woman, I would have married a woman!" End of story.

She knows I have dressed in her absence. On occasion she has found a bra or panty I forgot to put away. No comment other than to tell me she found it and placed it on top of the clothes dryer. She found the computer open to this forum one day because I had walked away from it while she was out. All she said was "You should be more careful leaving your browser open." Good thing my adult kids did not pop in for a visit.

At this stage of the game I would not feel comfortable dressing in front of her. Since she knows I engage in cross dressing I suppose the issue will only arise if she brings it up.

Right now my only outlet other than sleeping in a nightgown and wearing panties is this forum, and, collecting my favorite panties in all the available colors. Sort of like collecting stamps and coins. I'll never lick my stamps and never spend my coins. I'll never wear all the panties I am collecting. They take up less room than dresses.

[RADER]

I played with my Mothers clothes, mostly girdles, stayed deep in the closet until I got married.
I tried wearing some girdles again, but wife would not have anything to do with it.
Divorced, spent 15 years alone until I met this wonderful girl on a blind date.
I mention to her I wish i had a dress I saw on TV. Later she asked me if I had any dresses,
I said no, just a few skirts and tops. She had me Model for her, she asked is that all??
Well we got married, and she would buy my dresses to wear; but I was not to go out of the
house, as to not embarrass her. So I kept my promise to her.
Rader

[susan54]

I live on my own and work part time. I spend most of my time in dresses and am fully dressed apart from make up and wig. I have vast amounts of clothes and bought dress numbers 1026-1032 yesterday after trying them on as a man in a sale in a hotel where a number of boutiques get together to get rid of unsold stock. Obviously I went home, had a shower and put on one of the dresses. I have similar numbers of skirts but nowadays I wear mainly dresses. Apart from some male briefs and pyjamas I wear when staying with friends, all my underwear and nightwear is female. I used to go out dressed a couple of times a month but this is now down to about 4 times a year - I now go shopping and have coffee with a GG friend. My legs and armpits are kept shaved and I currently have turquoise toes. I have had holidays in hotels of up to 5 nights as Susan and am relaxed in public in a dress - in fact I have been known to wear a dress as a man to go shopping. I do not identify as a woman even when fully dressed - I love wearing the clothes and how I look in them and when I am in public I am acting. Women have told me I look better in women's clothes than men's. I take the dressing seriously. I have had a colour and style consultation as Susan and it is the best money I have ever spent on clothing even if it did not directly involve buying any. I now know what suits me and I tend to buy from boutiques but mainly in their sales so I get high class clothes at reasonable prices - I am not bothered that they are last season's stock as I buy classics. I favour brands like Betty Barclay, Frank Lyman, Oska, Ghost, Tia, Sandwich, Out of Exile, Ronen Chen, Q'Neel and Latte. On the High Street, I buy mainly from Hobbs, Reiss, Phase Eight and John Lewis. My male clothes tend to be of a similar standard.

I am not out. It is not that I think I would be victimised - the sort of people I am friendly with and work with are not like that. It is that I have achieved something with my life and that is how I wish to be remembered, not as the guy in the dress. Am I happy? - yes - I have a wonderful life and am aware of how lucky I am and the clothes are a significant part of that.

[BrendaPDX]

DADT for me, but that's OK.

[Rachel05]

That's a great post and for me it started around 8yo, mums stuff made me feel good, of course at that age you have no concept of what it is you are doing, but as I grew the need grew strong and her we are over 50 years later and it is a strong as it has ever been in my life, the only difference now is that I can pretty much do what I want, when I want

My estranged wife absolutely hated me being a cross dresser, there is no give in her at all, but now it doesn't matter as we are not together and my current partner is okay with it, I told her well before we got too serious and she was just accepting in every sense, makes it really nice

I have also told a very good friend of mine and she didn't see it as a big deal at all, part of what you are she said and she is still an amazing friend

Sat here now typing this dressed nicely and feeling good and a whole world away from the teenage years as a cross dresser

[sarah_hillcrest]

My life is generally really great. I have the typical ups and downs, but I don't get very down. I'm lucky that I don't suffer from dysphoria, except when I'm dressed and have to go back to myself, that's the only time it really hurts. I think if I lived in a more progressive area, I'd be more open about it. My family would not accept this. My Dad would have a stroke, they've spent their entire lives building appearances. You won't find a spot of dirt on his truck, his yard is perfect, and while I'm far from that I'm at least a respectable man. I'm dying to tell my Mom, but I think she would freak out and then want to start making me clothes.

The best part is my wife who is very understanding and treats me with dignity.

[char GG]

I'm dying to tell my Mom, but I think she would freak out and then want to start making me clothes.

The best part is my wife who is very understanding and treats me with dignity.

Oh Sarah! This bit about your mom made me giggle!

Sounds like you have a great wife (even though she's not making you clothes, lol).

[BTWimRobin]

My crossdressing life started as a child. My mother's twos sisters lived in the upstairs apartment of our house. As a little kid 4 or 5ish I would always play dress up in their clothes. When I was around 11 or 12, I would experiment (for lack of a better term) with their lingerie and makeup. While I got caught a few times, they did seem to be all that upset. When I was around 20, my girlfriend, at the time, used to love to dress me up in full makeup, bra and panties. I loved the way I looked and how I felt. When we broke up I think I was more upset that I couldn't have someone do my make up anymore. Over the years my desires to desires to would come and go and were far and few between. When they did come, they were not so bad and I could easily suppress them. When I hit 50 they started to come more often. By the time I hit 56 I couldn't hold them back, giving into them. My wife is accepting and while she is somewhat supportive, she is far from encouraging. She doesn't mind me dressing as long as I keep it tasteful around her.

My life right now as a CD is pretty darn good. I am a lot less stressed and much happier now that I can openly express my feminine side in the safety of my own home.

[syome]

In general I am pretty happy with my life, my friends are aware of my crossdressing and dont really mind. My family is aware I crossdress but we have never really had a discussion about it, My closet is full of dresses, handbags and heels and have a table full of makeup and a few mirrors, so I dont exactly hide it. I generally dress up fairly regularly assuming I have the time, I dont like dressing up unless I go all out with make up as well. I have gotten super comfortable at going out wherever dressed up and havent really ran into any issues in KC.

Suprisingly the hardest part so far has been meeting transpeople or other crossdressers in KC around my same age or atleast under 40. But no situation is perfect.

[Angie G]

Life is great as a crossdresser when we don't have anyone over like the grandkids I'm dressed 100% of the time And when I'm out and about I have panties on24/7 My wife is supportive and helpful. :hugs:
Angie

[kimdl93]

Gave this question a little time to incubate before attempting a reply. Like so many of us, my life has been a rollercoaster, with most of the familiar highs and lows. Now retire and for the past three years, single, I have a great deal more opportunity and perhaps a greater degree of maturity. I still feel divided to some extend, between my desire to live as a woman and my sense of obligation to those in my family and small social circle who expect me to be a male.

Im still trying to reach a state of self acceptance to the extent that I can allow myself to live in two modes without feeling I’m somehow failing or disappointing someone.

[Sarah S]

I love to dress every day when I get home from work and I'm lucky to have the support of my wife who loves me as Sarah

[fun4metoo2004]

I am doing a photoshoot next month with about a dozen outfits and shoes, etc. Having my Hair and Makeup done by a pro. It will be mostly Pinup Themed. There are a lot of people that know I dressed before and know that this shoot is coming up. my excuse is that a friend died and we are making a Calendar for fund raising of Brain Cancer research.

[Miss V]

Started in late teens. Got more serious in twenties.
I dress at least twice a month.
I have a very accepting following on social media. As well as supportive friends.

I'm just working to get a place of my own now. So I can dress EVERY NIGHT :D

[psion128]

Still in the closet. I have a social group but I'm still too shy to use that to go public even in that group.

[Rosie_Sometimes]

I am married and in the closet and will probably remain so. I do not work anymore due to a car accident several years ago , but my wife still does. Therefore I am able to dress whenever she's away and I use every opportunity to do so. These are precious moments to me. I have been crossdressing for about 15 years now and can not imagine life without it.

[Leslie Mary S]

Evolution of the Leslie Mary Shy plant

I am triple-retired, widower, hermit, and later bloomer.

Probably started like a slow growing mold until @1960 when I started to become a very slow growing mushroom in my closet. I started to take the form of a twig about 1990s. It was in 2005 or so when I started to grow. In about 2010 started to put forth small blooms. I am still putting out small blooms, that need nurturing. Bids and Insects do NOT come to rest on my limbs, they don't like the closest I'm in.


305641
We southern girls all have a bit of Magnolia in us. But I also have a bit of Mountain Laurel in me too. but mostly Dandelion.

[Vintage4sarah]

My life as Sarah (when the opportunity arises) has been a journey of ups and downs. Through all of this I have carved out a niche of balancing my real life with who I really am inside. My wife and I have worked this all out with compromises from both of us.

Right now Sarah gets to emerge at least twice a month whether it be at home when the wife is away or best yet, when Sarah gets to go out to big events like FE, meet-ups with friends and just plain venturing out in the real world as a mature classy woman. Occasionally, I also get to be away for business and other hobbies and I try to make the most of it as Sarah.

[SuzyZahn]

OMG,,,,I totally agree!

[Bea_]

More complicated than good or bad so far. My wife has been more accepting and supportive than I've given her credit for at times and the miscues have been the cause of the greatest part of the tough times. I'm learning to accept her acceptance at face value and not read negative thoughts about my dressing into the down times for her that are mostly caused by her health or other issues.

When I can fully feel her acceptance things are VERY good. When I detect, rightly or wrongly, discomfort on her part it can get VERY bad.

I'm not out to the world, even though I am slowly becoming more and more open to just wearing what I want. So, acceptance inside my home is the barometer of good/bad for me. Right now, I'd call it good.

[Georgina]

Work during the day in male clothes all other times in female clothes at home. I am happy like this and love the fact that I like skirts and dresses.

[VS Fan]

Definitely one of those things that I enjoy but also hate about myself. I often wish I were “normal”... but not enough to try and give it up... I have accepted it even though it definitely feeds my depression at times... mostly when I see women who I am attracted to and think “yeah she might go out with me ... until I tell her about this.” Obviously it’s been a strain on my marriage as well, and despite my wife knowing, the years of secrecy and suppression even after the reveal (DADT/ don’t want to see it) have taken their toll. I’m out to a couple of friends at this point and they are cool with it, but my overall loneliness has not diminished. I don’t live in “hip” social circles and I don’t see myself moving to a big city to embrace one... so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

[PamelaHowit]

Perfectly happy with my life balance. I underdress everyday for work wearing bra pants and hold-ups. Generally would wear stockings and suspenders but for work these can be seen while sitting. At home i dress whatever way i choose. Generaly at weekend we have functions parties etc where i dress completly female.

[Sheren Kelly]

I consider crossdressing to be a curse, yet I would not want it to go away. How can that be?

Reminds me of a parable:
One day (insert the name of your favorite god/profit/shaman here) came across a woman possessed of 7 demons, and took pity on her saying "I will cast out these 7 demons" The woman was thankful but had one request: "cast out only 6"...

[CrossKimmy]

I’d say it’s love/hate.

I love how free and feminine I feel when I dress up. I feel like all is right with the world. It genuinely brings me peace and happiness when I’m expressing my true image.

But I hate it because I feel like I’m lying to people I love and can’t share this part of me.

[Bruce64]

Somedays I like it, somedays I don't, it's embarrassing for a Man to wear Brassiere, Panties, Slips, Pantyhoses, sometimes I wish it didn't happen to me, sometimes Icwish it did, I like to keep it private, now a few People know, and it's not so bad.

[Thelise]

As long as the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune don't arbitrarily smite you along the way, it's not so bad being a CD. Be comfortable with who you are. And tell the naysayers to go shove it!

[Seana Summer]

To answer the question "What kind of Life do I have as a CD?" I would have to say it is a very good life.

Like many others I started when I was very young and the first few years I thought I was the only one who did this and something was wrong with me. I remember when I was very young I thought dressing up meant I was gay, until I figured out what being gay is ( I was probably 7 or 8). The years before the internet were tough, you couldn't just Google it. Fast forward almost 40 years and I have chatted with others like me and even met a few in person and the shame has mostly gone away.

Several years ago I came to the conclusion that there are things I can not change and I stopped worry about them. While I wish I could be much more open about my CDing, maybe even dressup to go to work, it is not practical....so I don't. I do get the occasional outing, not at work mind you, but when the opportunity presents itself I have both taken it and passed on it. I have not felt the need to force it to happen.

I have not achieved everything I hoped I would have by middle age, but I have the important stuff and am still working on the rest, and making progress.