It's like we want what we can't have

[Maria 60]

About a month ago my children had opportunities knock on there door and they both moved out, not perminate but a nice little break. Don't get me wrong I love my kids but I'm very happy that there starting there own lives. When they left my wife was in fear that Maria was going to evolve and we were going to be locked in with blinds closed and doors locked all summer. Before I would take a Friday night drive telling my kids I was meeting up with old friends, and I would probably somehow get a chance during the week have a opportunity to fully dress.
Now with them gone I still go for my Friday night drive because my wife believes we should have time for ourselfs to do whatever makes us happy. I just came back from my Friday night drive and my wife told me she was shocked that I didn't go crazy dressing with the kids gone and that I just dress every night with a nighty and fem robe and sleep like that. Besides that I have never fully dressed in the house and that I would get so upset before if I didn't get a few hours, now I have the house to myself and I don't fully dress. I told her its summer now and there is lots to do outside. She told me its unbelievable that we always want what we can't have.

[Sidney]

I have a lot of freedom in my dressing but I think I can relate to what your saying. Last month my wife who knows my Sidney side was going out of town overnight with a girlfriend. Two days and one night to do and dress as much as i wanted. Had plans to go out and looking forward to it. Was going to take my supportive daughter to dinner and a few drinks. Got ready, called my daughter and said lets stay in tonight. She said OK, came over and I cooked steaks. I so much enjoyed my night with her just lounging in the house. Opportunity there, just all the sudden passed it up for another good time.

[Patience]

A double bed and a stalwart lover for sure.
These are the riches of the poor.

[sometimes_miss]

When you can't have what you want, always remember all the things that you DON'T have, that you don't want, too.
Frostbite? Don't have it, don't want it.
Diphtheria? Don't have it, don't want it.
Mumps? Don't have it, don't want it.
Ugly rash? Don't have it, don't want it.
Big zit on my nose? Don't have it, don't want it.
Aunt Flo? Can't have it, don't want it.
Being teased for being short? Can't get it, don't want it.
Sexually harassed by the opposite sex? Can't get it, don't want it.

No, we don't automatically want what we can't have; we just notice it more.

I also use this technique when someone I love passes on. Rather than be terribly sad, I try to remember something that they did, which would drive me up a wall. Of course, I have to be careful of doing that when at their funerals, I don't want to be smiling too much at that point, or people might get the wrong idea!

For example: Loved my dad. But when I was young, he would come into my room whenever he thought I should be awake doing something, sit on my bed, and talk to me until I got up, no matter how little sleep I had gotten, OR whether it was my day off (and maybe I just wanted to sleep late?). This was a man who would announce at 9 A.M. that 'the day is half shot', and that we should get busy with whatever we were supposed to be doing (according to him, anyway).
Then, he would shake some of his red hot sauce on my pizza, effectively ruining it for me. Why? If I ever complained, his response:
'It'll make a man out of you!'.
I was 9. I didn't want to be a man. I wanted to be a kid with a delicious slice of pizza. Instead, all I got was something that really burned my mouth. Thanks for nothing, dad.

The list of stuff he did that annoyed me could go on and on.

So while I sorta miss him, any time I start to get nostalgic, I nip that feeling in the bud by remembering that I enjoy missing all the little annoying things that I DON'T have to put up with anymore.

[RaleighwoodTGirl]

In my case, it was just a twist of genetic fate -- I have both male (xy) and female (xx) chromosomes. Doctors have told me that the chances of me being coded for female genitalia was down to the molecular level because all the other pieces were in place (for either.)

[kimdl93]

Your wife expressed what seems to be a very common fear....that you’ll want to take it farther. of course, many of us do...myself included. But we are not all alike...and you are comfortable in your existence. Much to the relief of your wife, I’m sure.

[Stephanie47]

I remember the days decades ago when I was trying to grab all the "crumbs of time" as I called it. With a wife who stayed at home with the kids and kids too young to go to school or be left alone I was driven up the walls with angst. When she finally started working at a Sunday school church nursery she took the kids along. Wow! Then I had about three hours to be en femme. I looked forward to it. When both kids were finally in school and my wife volunteered or worked for several hours I took off a "sick" day from work. I still wanted more and more. It got to the point when the kids were out of the house and my wife worked full days. It was great. I had seven hours to be June Cleaver and do domestic chores fully en femme; dress, heels and hosiery, undergarments. I was feeling great. Then the ultimate. My daughter moved to the midwest and my wife visited her for seven to ten days. My son usually did not drop over unannounced. It was Stephanie time 24/7. I found when I reached that pinnacle there were days I was not en femme. Had I gotten my fulfillment? I suspect if I were to become a widower I would not be en femme 24/7.

Sometimes I think it is sort of like the little kid whose mom tells the kid you cannot go across the street. You stand there at the curb driven to distraction. Then after awhile mom says go ahead, do it. Then you find there's nothing super great about the other side of the street. The waiting and waiting exceeds the actual event.