Interesting Comment From Wifey

[BTWimRobin]

Several weeks ago, my wife made a comment on how she really doesn't like the look of leggings and compression type shorts on either women or men. So I asked her well then do you have any other suggestions on what I can wear around the house? She suggested some cute shorts. I found a pair of knee length Bermudas with a cuffed hem and an elastic waist with a drawstring on the outside. I bought a pair in a powder blue. When I modeled them for her she thought they were fine and unless someone looked really closely you couldn't tell that they were women's. Since coming out to her about my desire to dress we have been taking it super slow. I've worked my way up to women's shorts, jeans and of course panties. We have some guidelines to follow and my dressing out in public is not allowed, or at least I thought.

The other night we were going out to our favorite watering hole for a quick bite and and adult beverage or two. I had on a pair of guy's golf shorts that were a steel blue color. I mentioned to my wife that these looked pretty similar to the ladies shorts I bought. If you want, you can wear your ladies shorts or jeans to dinner, she replied. I don't care they are just clothes, she went on to say. I told her that I am not there yet and that I am not ready to go out in public, especially around here. She then said maybe we can go somewhere where you can feel comfortable. I could not believe my ears.

Anyway, I am treading lightly with her comments. I'm not sure if she is becoming more supportive or trying to feel me out to see if my dressing is progressing too quickly. Maybe it's a bit of both.

[abbiedrake]

Caution's good, Robin. My own wife knows I'm wearing women's jeans and sneakers whenever we go out together but she doesn't object because they're not obviously women's. It would take someone pretty damn observant to notice either. However she clearly objected to my bangles and my more obviously femme sneaks.

I play it by ear and respect her wishes.

It's amazing how far you've come in so short a span of time though. 👍

[Linda E. Woodworth]

You know your wife better than anyone here and may have hit the nail on the head with it being "...a bit of both."

I would go with your instincts to continue to tread lightly.

We, crossdressers, tend to see things through rose colored glasses (or should they be pink?) and completely misread women's intentions. Hence my agreement to take things slow.

My wife asked if I wanted to go full time. (Thank god she was driving the car that day because this came right out of the blue!) Turns out she meant going to a venue such as Southern Comfort Conference or Keystone. I jumped at the chance.

I would get a week of solid Linda time out and about with the muggles. "She" thought I'd get it out of my system and never want to do it again.

Guess who was right?

Good Luck!

[Tracy Ann]

Hi BTWimRobin Be safe and go slow. Hope the best for you as you progress.

[Tracii G]

Sounds like she is getting used to it and yes its just clothes so she is right about that.
My first ex and I were on vacation and she laid out some jeans on the bed for the day.
She laid out her pair and apparently another of hers she picked out by mistake for me.
I was not a CD at that point in time and not thinking I put them on and noticed the zipper was in the back.I zipped them up as kind of a joke and wanted to see if she noticed,I wore a Tshirt that covered part of the zipper.
About an hour went by and as we were heading out she said "hey you have my jeans on".
I said well you laid them out for me so I figured you wanted me to wear them.
She laughed and said well I did lay them out but if you want to wear them go ahead they actually look good on you.
(I was really slim back then BTW)
I wore them all day and at Christmas she bought me my own pair just like them.

[Stephanie47]

I think the comments and the perception of the comments are somewhat interesting. The guys are viewing the pants (jeans/shorts) as something feminine because they came off the women's rack. The wives are thinking the same garments are really rather neutral in that they do not differ much from men's garments. My daughter use to wear men's jeans because men's jeans fit her better and the jeans had pockets. She use to carry a slim wallet rather than one of those ultra big trash bags with makeup and everything but the kitchen sink in them. Nobody ever consider those jeans as male or female because they were to bland. When was the last time guy jeans looked ornate?

Anyway, personally I do not own any women's pants. They do nothing for me at all when it comes to self identification as male or female. It's all in the head. I wonder if you asked whether you could go out for a bite to eat attired in dress, heels and hosiery. I suspect wives would not be so encouraging.

[RaleighwoodTGirl]

Your wife is a wise woman. No matter what you wear, you are going to be the person the clothes are hanging off of. And if she loves you, then it sounds like she's going to get both modes of expression.

[Micki_Finn]

Only one way to find out. Ask her. Don’t fall into the trap of playing games of “does she or doesn’t she?” Be forthright and honest with her and she’s more likely to return the favor.

Pretty sure Stephanie nailed it though. “They’re just clothes” doesn’t mean “it doesn’t matter what you wear, I’m ok with it”. It means “they’re women’s clothes but you’re still presenting as a man so nobody will notice.”

I would not bust out a dress on her anytime soon.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

If they don't seem that feminine and you like wearing them and she is good with it it sounds like something you should do.

Maybe you'll be lucky and no one will care to study your shorts for all that long a time.

[Tracii G]

I agree with Micki.
Best to talk about it and be honest and of course you listen to what she says and don't blow her off.
Presenting as a guy but in what "might" be womens clothes is OK but presenting as a guy in a dress may be too much for her.
Women might notice but won't say anything and guys generally don't check out other guys and what they are wearing.
I do do because I'm flaming LOL

[abbiedrake]

Stephanie, for my own part, no, my wife would throw a fit if I tried to wear a dress out. The womens jeans are largely by accident rather than design, due to her losing weight and me gaining. As a matter of fact I resisted wearing them for some time, sure that someone would notice the reverse zipper (before I came to recognise I was a CD). I've even had occasion to tease her that she started me CDing by encouraging me to wear her old jeans.

I have some more obviously femme jeans but I don't wear those outside.

I get what you say about them not helping with your self-identification but for me they're one of the few femme items I can wear anytime and it does help some, even when I'd desperately live to be wearing something more obviously feminine.

[BTWimRobin]

Ladies, thank you for your replies.

My wife works in retail sales and I think she has been taking notice of what people are wearing when they come into the shop. She has, on occasion, mentioned to me when some came in androgynous. She sounded like a man but had very feminine features or vise-versa. She would always end the conversation withe a "good for them" or "I am happy for them." So maybe she is opening up to the idea that it's all good.

Slow and steady always wins the race so it will be quite some time before she will come home to me in my LBD, stockings and heels.

[suzanne]

There's a lot of space for choices in the "Can't tell one way or the other" neighborhood. My wife refuses to go out anywhere with me while I'm in a dress or skirt. But if I'm wearing yoga pants, a slightly girly top and flats, we're 100% good to go. I guess it's the result of her relaxing her attitude because she sees I'm not getting made in that mode.

[Tracii G]

Robin if she says things like good for them it makes me think its tolerable to her at least because she doesn't know them personally.
But when it comes to her man doing that its the old "not in my back yard" kind of thing.
I may be wrong but that the way I read it.

[BTWimRobin]

Good point Tracii. While I'm sure the backyard syndrome has something to do with it, I think she might be coming to terms with my desire to dress. Time will tell.

[JaclynL61]

Excellent news Robin. I agree with the "slow and steady" approach with things you are both comfortable with. Things can tend to change in a hurry. I think many women have the not in my backyard syndrome.

[Leelou]

Thanks great, Robin! I believe that she probably does see them as just clothes. Having an SO that is supportive of a mixed presentation is wonderful. I'd say go for it, and wear those shorts out with her sometime.

The last woman I was out with was perfectly fine with me wearing women's clothes when presenting male. I'd wear women's capris, shorts, tops and shoes when in guy mode while we were out and she was completely comfortable with it, and so was I. It felt great to have that level of acceptance with her.

You are right to take it slow, but I'd encourage you to take her up on the offer and start blending in women's clothes into your male presentation when out.

[Asew]

Seems like she is ok with neutralish items but wonder how she would be about it just being clothes if it was a skirt or dress. But sounds like you already plan to tread lightly so no need for advice :)

[Angie G]

Way to go Robin you both will get there hun. :hugs:
Angie

[Kaylin]

That is really awesome Robin. And another big step. Super happy for you hon. :)