Observation by my wife

[DanielleCD]

A few weeks ago, we were staying with my cousin and his partner, gay couple, at their home in CT. For a few days the home was filled with a lot of family. I have 6 siblings, and two dozen cousins, nieces and nephews. My wife briefly went down the list. My oldest brother is gay. I'm a CDer. My cousin A is gay. My cousin B is lesbian. Nephew J is gay. My now niece A is in reassignment MtF and her little sister now says she is gay.

My wife asked, "Do you think it's genetic?" I replied, "Either that or there was something in the water".

Great thing is my family is very accepting and non judgmental when it comes to this issue. The older generation, aunt and uncles, they range from 75 to 92 years old, accept all this but always seem to have that odd, quizzical look of not understanding why. My generation, we're in our 50's and 60's, just take it as who you are, as long as you're are happy. And the younger generation seems like it's almost not on their radar as an issue, just their world. My wife comes from a slightly different world, southern baptist, bible thumpers. She accepts who I am, DADT, and keep it in the house. All is good but I know, deep down, she wishes I wasn't. At least we can talk, and sometimes even joke about it, like above.

[Tracy Irving]

Wow, that is a lot of people sharing bathrooms!

Glad you have such an accepting family. I hope you had fun.

[April Rose]

It is lovely that the whole family can get along this way. That is really a gift.

[Rhonda Jean]

I think the fact that this is an accepting family let's everyone be themselves. Maybe the occurrences would be similar in any family, but an unaccepting environment holds everybody back.

[Thelise]

That's a great little family snippet of hope Danielle. Hope the other side can find acceptance. Good luck!

[Stephanie47]

Sometimes I think of families in your family situation. Almost sort of like the question of the which came first, "the chicken or the egg?" What I mean is the strong family bonds probably came before the declaration of gender identity. How does one cast aside a love one when he or she reveals he or she is gay or lesbian or transgender or transsexual? Are the qualities of a good person wiped away overnight because he declares he is gay? Or a woman declares she is a lesbian? Of course, the qualities do not evaporate. I've expressed many times I think there are many people who abandoned their sons and daughters because they fear they will lose some social status. I can understand the older generation having quizzical looks of not understanding why. Nobody ever talked about gays and lesbians or transsexuals when they were younger. Now? It's all over the news and entertainment world. I will not say anything further because of the rules of this forum concerning religion.

"At least we can talk"... that's good. Some, including me, have spouses who just stick their heads in the ground and ignore it all.

[JennniferMcC]

That's a nice family. I have something similar. My wife accepts and supports all our gay relatives and friends as well as a friend who has a trans-daughter...but can't yet find it in her heart to throw much accepance my way.😞 Guess it's different when it's YOUR own hubby.

[Tracii G]

Jennifer your wife sounds like on of those its OK for some one else but not in my backyard.
I think she feels it reflects on her too much.

[Micki_Finn]

A few weeks ago, we were staying with my cousin and his partner, gay couple, at their home in CT. For a few days the home was filled with a lot of family. I have 6 siblings, and two dozen cousins, nieces and nephews. My wife briefly went down the list. My oldest brother is gay. I'm a CDer. My cousin A is gay. My cousin B is lesbian. Nephew J is gay. My now niece A is in reassignment MtF and her little sister now says she is gay.

My wife asked, "Do you think it's genetic?" I replied, "Either that or there was something in the water".

Great thing is my family is very accepting and non judgmental when it comes to this issue. The older generation, aunt and uncles, they range from 75 to 92 years old, accept all this but always seem to have that odd, quizzical look of not understanding why. My generation, we're in our 50's and 60's, just take it as who you are, as long as you're are happy. And the younger generation seems like it's almost not on their radar as an issue, just their world. My wife comes from a slightly different world, southern baptist, bible thumpers. She accepts who I am, DADT, and keep it in the house. All is good but I know, deep down, she wishes I wasn't. At least we can talk, and sometimes even joke about it, like above.

If being gay were genetic, we’d have run out of gay people a long time ago, as gay people are not exactly known for reproducing.

[DanielleCD]

Jennifer and Tracii,
Exactly some of my wife's sentiments. It's one thing if it's someone else's spouse or child but it's different when it's in your own backyard... your child or spouse. Though some may not see the difference, but, there is when you have a strong emotional/relationship attachment.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Well, closeted gay people have probably been reproducing for a long time, thinking of an uncle of mine and the children the woman my eternally 'single' aunt spent the last couple decades of their lives living with had...

[Angie G]

Wow that's some family good for you all. :hugs:
Angie

[mbmeen12]

Next time you come up from Texas give a whistle.......

x Kara

[GretchenM]

Oh my goodness. Your family is an entire LGBTQ organization on your own. There must be some wonderful and fascinating conversations that go on. My wife is from the same background as your wife and is pretty much the same way. Her closest sister is even more so and has hinted at being critical of even my carrying a Swiss Gear travelers bag that isn't even feminine. Yikes. But her youngest sister is very accepting. What a difference 10 years can make. My wife doesn't really want much of anything to do with it, but she lets me be myself so long as I stay within her comfort zone which is pretty narrow. Not ideal, but workable.

There may be a genetic element in your family's diversity, but I suspect there is a large bit of an environmental influence as well. All of these variations are hard to explain using genetic modeling without having a big influence on nature from nurture. But it just goes to show that we humans are very adaptable and with a little effort can put aside the dogmas, preconceived notions, and ideologies to simply accept each other for who they are. Beautiful beyond measure.

[Cheryl T]

If being gay were genetic, we’d have run out of gay people a long time ago, as gay people are not exactly known for reproducing.

If your premise were true then we would have run out of others also.
Red hair is a recessive trait and that would have disappeared just as one example.

Genetic variation doesn't depend on people of that variety reproducing, it's in the pool and we're all swimming there.

[DanielleCD]

This reminds me of a Psych 101 class I took in college. Wonderful professor but she taught... it isn't just one thing... you have to take into account many facets of what makes up a "person". Genetics, environment, personality, experiences, etc. Maybe we do have a genetic disposition towards TGism in my family... that with the environment we grew up in, etc, brought it out more than others. I wonder how many people live in denial due to social pressures and upbringing, they just don't even realize it.