My Own Worst Enemy

[JennniferMcC]

I had a situation that I can laugh at now but when it happened I wanted to put my head through a wall. My largely non-accepting wife loves to shop at thrift stores. A couple weeks ago she told me she bought me some jeans. (I go through them like crazy) So the other day I'm in my drawer and see the new jeans. My size, Calvin Klein but they look to me to be girl's jeans! I told her I couldnt wear these, they are girls! She denied that they were but I wasnt convinced. So after I gave them back to her she said "of all people I wouldn't think YOU'D be worried about that!" Of course then it hit me. DUH! Intentionally or unintentionally she gave me girl clothes and I refused them! I can be so stupid. Later of course I took them back. (Don't think she knows yet-but she'll figure it out when she sees them on me😊) Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy! Anybody else have a kick-yourself moment? I can't be the only one.

[Tracii G]

SMH Why on earth would you refuse a gift?
I'll bet that made her feel really bad.

[JennniferMcC]

I dont think she meant it as a gift. I think she thought they were guy jeans. Still kicking myself!

[Tracii G]

Maybe so

[kimdl93]

She bought you clothing. You responded ungrateful you. an apology would be in order

[Sometimes Steffi]

Umm, it should be easy to tell. Most guy jeans are sized by waist size, e.g., 30, 32, 34; and most girls jeans are sized by a (almost meaningless) number, e.g., 10, 12, 14. Should have been easy for her to tell, and easy for you to tell.

Once my wife found a pair of panties in her lingerie draw that she didn't think were hers. She held them up and asked me, "Are these yours?" My first reaction upon just hearing those words was shaking in my boots, awaiting the storm that I expected to come. Then I looked at the panties she was holding up and determined that I dodged a bullet. I knew most of my panties were way cuter and prettier than these. However, I kept my mouth and took the panties from her. I pointed out that the panties were size 8, which is her size. I pointed that out to her, and told her that these were hers. Fortunately, she didn't ask me what my size is, because I wear a size 6.

[Davina2833]

Jennifer,

She knows. You know wife's have built in radar... Wear them with pride..... Gloria Vanderbuilt is my favor brand.

Davina

[Joyce Swindell]

I have a high school "moment in time" that haunts me. (Maybe a share here will release this demon)
New highschool, freshman and I'm not certain of the class but the class was assigned to perform a short skit of our own invention. We were divided into groups of 2 or 3 (mine was 3). Not knowing anyone I was one of the last chosen for my group. The other 2 wanted to put me in a dress and had some idea of what skit to perform. I refused and was given the task of coming up with the skit. Hind sight says I should have let it happen.

[Sherrii]

Can you explain to her that your reluctance was due to the fact you didn't want to be "read" while in guy mode and that's what you needed jeans for, guy mode? But you like them and enjoy them in girl mode. Sherrii

[JennniferMcC]

The more I think of it, I think I'll wear them in guy mode and chance it. What the heck? 9 times out of 10 no one will notice or care. And if they do...the world will keep turning right? Now if she'd only get me a blouse to go with them...😁

[Asew]

I agree an apology is in order or you might not get any more gifts :)

[docrobbysherry]

I can tell women's jeans in a second. Useless pockets!

[Crissy 107]

Jennifer, That really is an ouch, Good you got them back and you do need to wear them soon. A late thank you is in order.

[Stephanie47]

Duh! Your wife is "largely non-accepting" which implies she know you wear women's clothing on occasion. She buys you women's clothing. You reject the jeans. My wife shops for jeans in thrift stores. Women's jeans are on the women's rack. My granddaughter shops for her thrift store jeans on the boys' racks because young boy jeans fit her physique better. She intentionally went out of her way to buy you something femme. I would have thought this was a "Hallmark Moment" to have a positive conversation about your needs and desires. You blew it pal!

[Tracy Ann]

The more I think of it, I think I'll wear them in guy mode and chance it. What the heck? 9 times out of 10 no one will notice or care. And if they do...the world will keep turning right? Now if she'd only get me a blouse to go with them...😁

I wear women's jeans in guy mode most of the time. They are very stretchy!!! No one has said anything yet.

docrobbysherry you are correct. Useless pockets!!

[Maid_Marion]

You should talk about this with your wife.

[Lana Mae]

I agree, an apology is in order! Wear them with pride! There is, in appearance, little difference between men's and lady's jeans unless there is bling on the pockets! LOL You need to give her a big hug and a thank you! Hugs Lana Mae

[JennniferMcC]

Apology forthcoming. As for my own opinion of my handling of this...see thread title😟

[JoanneB]

Yes, an apology is in order. You are very fortunate to have a wife that buys you women's clothes. My wife hasn't bought me any in a long time. But, go ahead and wear the jeans. I wear women's jeans all of the time. I also wear women's tops from time to time. Of course, the tops look like men's because they are polo shirts. No one has noticed that they are women's with the buttons on the opposite side.

[JennniferMcC]

She still maintains they're men's jeans. Ugh!!! Can nothing be straightforward? LOL!

[Maid_Marion]

In that case I wouldn't argue.

I just bought some women's Levis. They have fake pockets with zippers on top of real ones!

[abbiedrake]

That your wife insists they're not women's leads me to think you haven't missed the golden opportunity Stephanie suggests. It sounds like she thinks them unisex at worst. Don't take this as an endorsement of your dressing. But for FSM's sake accept the damn gift. If your missus is OK with it, run with it. YOU'LL know you're wearing women's jeans.

I have my own experience with this though. Through me gaining and Wifeling losing weight she suggested I wear hers. This was before I 'became' a crossdresser and so I demurred, saying that people would notice the zipper being on the 'wrong' side. She shrugged. I went back to wearing the couple of pairs of men's I still had.

Having subsequently come to terms with being a CD I now wear only women's jeans. No one has ever noticed or commented. But my wife on remembering our exchange half-jokingly blamed herself for making me a CD. It wasn't that, however, but rather my underwear choices that led to the crossroads, a story I've recounted elsewhere.

If you want an example of a gift that did provide the perfect opportunity to talk more I had it recently. I'm recently abstaining from dressing while Wifeling battles cancer. She clearly appreciated this small consideration, but had also taken note of the few times I might have slipped a little and worn bangles or she saw some VPL. That and me talking about this site or Pride from time to time. These observations have shown her that this is not a passing phase for me, as she'd hoped. That realisation, coupled perhaps with that appreciation of my respect for her meant that she reached a point recently of buying me two tunic tops and a bra.

Now the tops didn't fit either of us. Bummer. But she insisted I try the bra on. I demurred initially, demurring to respect her feelings but she insisted. Well the bra fit, despite being a band size smaller than my usual (win!).

Here's the thing, nice though the bra is it definitely is the thought that counts WAY more. My wife has bought me dresses and even shoes before, back when she thought this was a phase. But she always swore she wouldn't be buying me underwear. Yet here we are.

I'm not going to read it as a tacit endorsement of my dressing and I continue in my abstinence while she's still unwell. But it did provide an opportunity to talk and that was when she hit me with her understanding more that this wasn't going to pass. That meant more than the bra. We'll see what the future holds, I guess.

So yeah, Jennifer, (sorry for the tl;Dr) were I in your shoes I'd enjoy the jeans though your wife swears they're not women's. But also keep the conversation alive. You don't need to be in her face with your dressing for her to start to see that it's not going to go away. Who knows she might come to terms with it?!