Always Related To Woman & Dislike Being In The Company Of Men

[Vicky_Scot]

For what ever reason I have always related to woman a lot more than men. I will state from the start I was brought up with a family group consisting of mum, dad and 2 sisters. So it was not the case of not having a male figure around.

Anyways, I was always happy in girls/woman company all through my life from school, the work place and in life in general. I could relate to them and felt safe and secure in their company. When it comes to boys/men I find it hard to relate to them and their conversations especially the man's man who scares the shit out of me.

I was bullied throughout school, in the work place and have always been seen as a soft target most of my life. God knows why, maybe the man beasts can sniff out the woman in me. I am not tough, I am not in your face, I like to keep myself to myself. I am gentle, thoughtful and very empathetic but I think people see this as a weakness and pray on it.

I get really uptight, restless and can feel my skin crawl when I am somewhere and there is a group of men especially if I have to try and interact with them. My worst nightmare if I am honest.

My one true male friend who I see as the brother I never had has always said the problem with me is that my nature is to put everyone before myself and you will help anyone. Unfortunately I still jump in with both feet to help people even though I have been hurt many times in the past and had no gratitude shown, but hey ho that just who I am.

The point of this post is basically to see if anyone else can relate to this and please think its all doom and gloom as I have a wonderful supportive wife of 30 years (who knows) and a wonderful family that love me dearly. (who do not know).....lol.

X x x

[VS Fan]

I totally relate. Always found it easier to be friends with women... and I am also a people pleaser. I’m quite certain you’re not alone here!

[Jodie_Lynn]

That's been me my whole life.

[abbiedrake]

I can relate, Vicky.

NEVER stop giving of yourself, even when there's a cost. To do otherwise would be to incur a far harsher penalty, that of not being true to oneself.

Having said that neither need you be a doormat. The most giving woman can assert herself when need arises.

I take some pride and pleasure in being who I am and if that marks me out from most other men, so be it.

[Kendra Sue]

I too enjoy the company of women more than men. Men can be so intimidating at times. Women tend to be less judgemental. Women do tend. to gossip but not as much as men. I enjoy the softer side of women very much

[cdinmd206]

Thanks Viki. You described my life very closely.

[Tracii G]

When I was trying to figure myself out I tried to tell myself all that same stuff to justify why I was CDing.
To try and put an answer to my "feelings" so to speak.
I found out later I was just BS ing myself and I didn't need a reason to justify things.
I learned to evaluate people based on their merits not what I THOUGHT they were based on their gender.
To do otherwise I was being a bigot and a sexist.
It was a very hard pill to swallow trust me I felt really bad about myself for being one of "those" people.
There are plenty of men and women I don't like but plenty I do all based on what they act like towards me.

PS I was bullied all thru my life and I don't know anyone that wasn't at one time or another.It was part of being a kid and growing up so don't use that as an excuse for something because we have all been thru it.
For years I was a very mean and nasty person in a very violent environment but I was able to change and overcome lots of hardships and I think we all can.
Blaming one gender for who you are I think you need to be honest with yourself.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Something struck a nerve...

I don't think anyone has posted "blaming" anyone.

For myself, growing up, I was always the smallest boy in my age group. And, boys being boys, they tend to target anyone they think is weaker, or different. And can be cruel for no other reason than cruelty's sake. But so can girls.

Do I blame the bullies of youth for who I am today? Hell no, but they did demonstrate what kind of person I didn't want to be.

[Lana Mae]

I see where you are coming from but... I always related better with ladies but also had quite a few male friends as well! One male friend actually called me a "ladies'man" at school! I used to sit with the ladies on the way to school! Men can be OK too! Not all are bullies! I have had bullies stick up for me in some situations! I have also had some "ladies" that could be considered bullies as well! Generalities are usually wrong! Not all of anything is whatever! Hugs Lana Mae

[alwayshave]

Vicky, I had a bunch of older sisters and a father who was gone a lot, so I do relate to women very well. However, I don't have trouble with men.

[Tracii G]

Blaming or a "reason for" lets say then.
My Dad was not always a pleasant man and I got my share of spankings but do I blame him for my behavior? No not at all,do I hate all men because of him? No of course not.

Its just that I see a lot of "justifying" on this site and less "accepting" of who you are.

[Kendra Sue]

You are so right. I catch myself trying to undertand. instead of just accepting it is a part of me. I try to accept people at face value be they man or woman.

[Tracii G]

The more complex you make things in your life the more stress and anguish you have.

[Angela Marie]

I do believe that women are less judgemental and also tend to be less "macho"; so yes I do prefer the company of women generally. Note I said generally. I have many male friends and many female friends. I have known females whom I did not care for and would not be friends with; same with males.

[Micki_Finn]

On the one hand, I can sympathize TO A DEGREE. I am generally more comfortable around women. However, that is “generally” and I always take the tine to get to know somebody before I decide how much I want to get to know them. Putting them into a category just because they APPEAR to be straight- cis- men is literally the definition of prejudice.

[Kendra Sue]

I guess kiss applies. Keep.it simple stupid

[Tracii G]

I agree with taking time to get to know them, that makes a big difference.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Its just that I see a lot of "justifying" on this site and less "accepting" of who you are.

I get where you are coming from, I really do, and agree with you to a point.

I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out the "why" of my situation. Was it because of my Mom's alcoholism? was I 'damaged' in the womb? Was it because I was molested by an older boy at a young age? Was it because there is something wrong in my brain?

In the end, does it really matter? It has been a costly journey, but I have accepted who I am, what I desire, and how I want to live my life.

So is it wrong to say that my sister was my greatest role model? Or that women I've never met inspire me?

For the record, I don't 'hate' men. I actually kind of like them, now that I don't compete as one of them. When I was involved in trying to be a man, I played the same game as they. Puffing up to display all kinds of macho, just to impress the ladies. Never showing fear, or weakness, or softness. Even though, inside, I might be quivering in terror. All an act, as much for the men as for the women.

Oh, who am I kidding? As Jodie, I adore men! Not every man, to be sure, but they do have their uses, and can be quite useful. In the right circumstances! ;) And yes, they can be knuckle dragging Neanderthals at times, but that can be part of their charm, as well.

Not to say that I fall into the "helpless female" role, but it is very pleasant to have a man open a door for you, or to extend to you the courtesies he would extend to any woman.

Annnnd, I feel I am rambling on mindlessly, so I'm going to stop here.

[Tracii G]

We are all so different there is no right answer really.
I find some guys attractive and some even absolutely gorgeous. Same goes for women but I am not remotely interested in the women personally except to be friends with.
If I were to get in a solid relationship if would be with a guy.

[kimdl93]

Hmmmm, I had to think about this for a while. I’m not sure. I have two sons, five remaining brothers and that’s about the extend of my male connections. But then, I have only a few female friends - all of whom know me in my preferred state. At this point, I prefer not to blend those two worlds. Mostly out of my worries I suppose.

[Tracii G]

I too have different set of friends and see no reason to mix the two.

[Alice Torn]

I do not like being around super macho men. I like being with humble men and humble women/

[Crissy 107]

I too enjoy being with and talking with women, it’s just more fun.

[Georgia K]

I've always got on well with women and have always noticed how women dress with thoughts like oh those shoes don't match that dress lol . But I'm also comfortable with a group of men as long as there not macho a holes although I keep my feminine side hidden

[Bobbi46]

It must be because of our feminine feelings that being with and talking to women is so much easier, probably because there is no macho egotism going on.

[Vicky_Scot]

Blaming one gender for who you are I think you need to be honest with yourself.

I never blamed anyone for who I am in my post and certainly do not believe that to be the case when I believe this was determined in the womb so how on earth can I blame anyone. Hence I do not understand your view that I should be honest with myself. Can you please expand on that.

[Tracii G]

It just seemed like you were blaming men in general not just one man that "scared" you.
To me it seemed you were trying to find a reason as to why you related to women more than men.
Nothing wrong with helping people but there is a point where you come in contact with certain people you shouldn't help because they will use you.
Toxic people like that will suck the life out of you.
I had a mother in law and brother in laws like that so I have lots of experience dealing with those types.

[Alice Torn]

I can relate, as i am the youngest in a very dysfunctional family, and 65 years of abuse from them. I am a rescuer, and need to take better care of myself. I was bullied by older brothers, and by guys at school, and some females, too. I have had to deal with a lot of inner rage, and self hate, and other very painful issues, and distance myself from family. I have almost no friends now, live in a town where i have no friends now. Never had a SO. Life is a stark lonely place, but i have three cats. I always felt i had to rescue people, in order to win their friendship, or else i would have no friends, especially women. I am learning that women are not all princesses, and perfect, too. We are all a mixture of good and evil, including women, who can be very cruel, and don't have to be accountable, like men do.

[Tracii G]

Alice sometimes its best not to have certain kinds of friends. Its good to have friends that aren't always calling you or wanting something.
Then there are the inconsiderate type of friends that call every darn day and want to talk for hours.
I keep my inner circle small and weed out the touchy feely types.
Of course I have old friends that know I would be there to help them any time of day but we don't talk all that often.

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Hello Vicky,

Wow.... I can relate with you on almost every level!

I was raised by my stepdad and mom with my younger bro and sis in a loving Christian home. They all know about my CDing but only recently. My 20 yr old son knows also, but I've raised him opposite of the world. He's still straight and in college.

I was bullied and literally could not fit in no matter where and how I tried. The bullying stopped in junior high when I started fighting back (sadly I took it to the extreme like I do everything and later became a gang member lol I would've been shot if they would've ever found out lol) but my uneasiness around males has always been there.

Even as a child I was attracted to my female cousins' toys and clothes, only to be ridiculed by my uncle, father and other males. It was always the females that would stick up for me and then fix me back up. Even in school while I was getting bullied, it was females that would help me.

I've always been more empathetic towards females in general, holding them up in much higher regards than I do males. I mean, come on, they create humans in their womb!

Males....ugggghhh.....most are disgusting, smelly, unintelligent animals AT BEST. I've tried hanging out with males and I'm always the odd one lol yes there are exceptions to the norm, and I treasure those friendships. The worst part is most males see females as a weaker race and if you're a Male that wears their clothes then you are lower than females. It's sad.

I always love it when guys start joking around and pretending they're gay until I walk in and start flirting lol for some reason it takes the fun out of their sails.

Have a great day hun!!!!!

[Alice Torn]

Tracii,. True. I now have very few friends at all. Most guys cannot be sensitive, I find, sadly. Same with some females. I like good people, whether men or women or trans. I cant stand people who are cruel to animals, too.

[Kim Philips]

I too, have found that being around women is much easier that being around men. I mean...have you talked to any men? Heard what they say? Ack-outside of a professional arena, a lot of what they say is mindboggling. Somethings are just SO way off base. I'm like, have you any empathy or compassion? Do you care about anything at all outside of the local ____________ ball score or who was drafted when? I'd so much rather have an intimate conversation with women.

[Tracy Irving]

The point of this post is basically to see if anyone else can relate to this

I have tried to surround myself with high quality people, men and women. Therefore, I do not dislike being in the company of men.

[Nicole Bernard]

I typically find myself drawn to the company if women. I feel anxious with men. I usually do ok.

If I'm in a mixed group and people start to separate, I just naturally gravitate to the women's side. Then I notice all the guys on the other side of the room and make myself go over by them.

I tend to have more female friends and associate with more females at work.

[BTWimRobin]

I have always been more comfortable in the company of women than men.

[char GG]

I belong to a group that have the same hobby. We meet every Saturday for lunch and I am the only woman in the group. Lots of fun and laughs, talk about varied an interesting subjects (not always related to the hobby). Perhaps it's an anomaly but these are pretty smart men.

My work was mostly with women. Also fun to talk to but the main topic, besides husbands/boyfriends/kids, was recipes. Not my thing.

[Chelsea B]

This describes me pretty well, and being a CD for me, adds another personal dynamic to my deep appreciation for women.

[JennniferMcC]

Vicky, I can so relate. I work in a fairly "macho" environment and blend in with the guys to a degree but I have always been more comfortable around women. When guys are together in a group its a competition, who can top who, who knows more, who's dominant. Ugh! I think that for most guys its an act. One on one guys are less competitive and you can find out what makes them tick. But given a choice I'll hang with the ladies. I'm just more comfortable.

[kayegirl]

Vicki, I can relate on many levels to your opinion. I have always been happier in the company of my female friends, schoolmates, workmates etc. However I cannot say that I was ever bullied at school, or elsewhere. During my working life, I worked in an office with a fairly even split of male/female colleagues. Salaries and work conditions were based on the job and experience level, so that I had many female colleagues who had the same pay as myself. The best period of my working life was as the single male in a team of 6 people. We were known to those outside of our group as the Dream Team. Perhaps because of this and my natural affinity with females in general, I acquired a reputation as a ladies man, even a womaniser. If only they had known, nothing could have been further from the truth.
But all of that is gone now. Almost all of my friends and family know about Kaye, only one friend has departed. Having said all of that my male life has been a good and fulfilling. I have two wonderful kids, an equally wonderful step daughter. I am in my second marriage, my first wife died from a cancer, but both of my wife's have been fully aware of my dressing. And both have been fully supportive. I consider myself to be a very lucky person. KAYE

[Tracii G]

I belong to a group that have the same hobby. We meet every Saturday for lunch and I am the only woman in the group. Lots of fun and laughs, talk about varied an interesting subjects (not always related to the hobby). Perhaps it's an anomaly but these are pretty smart men.

My work was mostly with women. Also fun to talk to but the main topic, besides husbands/boyfriends/kids, was recipes. Not my thing.

I have a group of friends that I share a hobby with. We meet most every Saturday and an occasional Monday
There are 3 women in the group.
The guys are really great and The women are too.
One woman belongs to a ladies club that has the same hobby and she is trying to get me to join that group.
Not sure I want to at this point because I don't want to force myself on that group of GGs or appear to be "that trans person" that is just trying to get in for no reason.

[BTWimRobin]

Gee wiz Tracii, it doesn't hurt to check it out. You all share a common interest so that should be reason enough to check it out. Hope you have fun if you do go.

[April Rose]

Tracii, She invited you. How would that be forcing yourself on them? You are the one who usually says (quite rightly) "don't overthink it."