Do you want to BE a woman or ...

[NancyJ]

When I put on my first pair of (Mom’s) panties and rummaged through her fascinating drawer of stockings, girdles, and bras, I just wanted to touch those sensuous things and experience what it was like to wear them. The more I watched women and men, the more I decided I did not want to grow up to be a man, wished I would grow up to be a woman, and admired the lives the girls in my neighborhood seemed to be living. For a while, I thought dressing as a woman would be enough. It wasn’t. And, of course I could not stop my physical maturation as a man and Intook on stereotypical male roles — maybe over compensated for my repressed transgenderism by becoming hyper-maco in some hobbies and external dress (even though I’ve worn panties 24/7 for 49 years).

Now, actually, I dress less often because the dysphoric hangover is so severe. It’s actually easier to just stay away from my forms, skirts, and heels so that I don’t have to take them off. Kinda crazy? At least I can wear my panties 24/7 :-).

How about you? Do you wish you were a woman? (I do.) Or do you just enjoy dressing like one? Nancy

[Lana Mae]

I have come to the point where and it has taken a lifetime to realize that I AM a woman! At 4-6 I wanted that dress! I never received it! I was then indoctrinated into being a male! I even accepted that role but did not realize I was really a female! A wise person once said The sum total of who we are is not determined by our genitals!(Holly) Many other factors have come forward after working closely with my therapist! I am on HRT and my "T" and "E" levels are both in the female range! HRT aside, I am the happiest I have ever been and that is saying a lot! I am in the process of saving money for the name and gender change! After that possible surgeries! I do not wish I was a woman, I am! Hugs Lana Mae

[kimdl93]

My dad often used a familiar old saying in regard to wishes: “if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” To this day, I cannot say the word “wish” or so much as think “I wish...” without hearing those words.

So, does that mean its wrong to wish or dream? I don’t think that’s the intent. The question becomes what do you make of your wish or dream. Are you willing and able to make whatever that might be into a reality? The answer to that question, in my case, is that I’m only willing to go so far. I have spent considerable time, emotional energy and money...and lost a marriage in pursuit of living as a woman. But, unlike Lana Mae, I can neither say confidently that “I am a woman” nor am I willing to risk any more towards fulfilling my own wish. At best, I’ll remain somewhere in between the gender poles, gravitating towards one or the other as circumstances dictate or permit.

[Devi SM]

I never thought I would transition to be a woman.
Even sometime ago, when I started on hormones wasn't sure where I would get.
Almost years and a half in HRT, the only regret is or did it before it life is good now, I stay married with my lo e for 40 years, have 3 amazing kids that gave me 3 daughters, and a grandkid 10 years old. I don't it would be better in other way. Who knows?

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Yes, I wish daily I would just wake up as a female

[alwayshave]

Nancy, I have no desire in transitioning. I love wearing women's clothing, but it stops there.

[Kendra Sue]

At times I have desired to be female but overall I don't want to change

[Elizabeth G]

Though I often wish I were a woman transition is highly unlikely for me at this time. I know myself well enough to know that it wouldn't be a good decision.

[Jean 103]

Yes I do is the short answer.

I have spent the last few years looking for the answer to this question. It is something you just have to answer for yourself. No one can answer for you.

[Denise S]

Yes, I want to be a woman. But I can’t, right now.

[Remee]

I like to wear women's clothing but that's it.

[HollyGreene]

I have long wished that I had been born female, but I don't consider myself to be female. For me, I don't think surgery and hormones would make me into what I would like to have been.

[Lux]

What? And give up my male privilege? :straightface:
Joking aside, I definitely fall into the happy to be a male but absolutely love my occasional fem time!
Having said that, I am probably one of the most sensitive men at work and a lot of my female co workers treat me as one of the girls and invite me in boy mode to their GNO’s. A few to many macho Alpha men to fully come out at work but I’m fine with that.

[Bobbi46]

Yes very deep down I am a man but even much deeper than that I feel I am a woman, sure transition and surgery is not on the agenda but dressing is high up on the spectrum of what I want to do with my life.
Which is the best for me? the simple answer I have is that I much prefer dressing in my femme things, those few drab days are very hard to handle and on returning home I have to change as soon as I get inside. Dressing for me is what life was meant to be.

[Terrylynn]

If only I knew the answer to that question. From my mid-thirties to early forties I struggled with severe gender identity issues. After much soul searching, prayer, and heart to heart discussions with my wife I realized that transitioning would not provide the peace I was seeking. My wonderful and supported wife gave me the space to explore my feminine side. With her love and support my level of dysphoria dropped dramatically.

I now see myself as a man who has certain feminine tendencies rather than woman in a male body.

[prettytoes]

It's just the clothing for me....I'm fine with being a man; my wish is that anyone could wear whatever they want without social consequences.

[Crissy 107]

Even before I started wearing my Mom’s things I remember wishing I had been born a girl. I am happy with being male and I have no desire to change that, I like where I am in life.

[Teresa]

Nancy,
You mentioned yourself that your preference is not being male and that's the way I see it .

OK I have dysphoria but I look at it as I no longer want to be seen in male mode , I much prefer to live my life dressed comfortably as a woman and integrate into the RW , the bonus for me is they then see me more as a woman .

Do I want to be a woman ? Well yes but it's not going to happen , I'm now living my life as close as I can get to that ideal , we can't live our entire lives wanting something we may never have but I'm more than happy and comfortable with what I have .

[VS Fan]

I have long wished that I had been born female, but I don't consider myself to be female. For me, I don't think surgery and hormones would make me into what I would like to have been.

I could not identify with this statement more...

[NancyJ]

I’m sure not surprised by the variety of responses so far — after all, this is a crossdressing forum, right? I’ve come to understand that transgender is a continuum with the occasional crossdresser on one end and the fully transitioned transsexual on the other. I have never felt the somewhat cliched “woman trapped in a man’s body.” Rather, I just always wished I wasn’t a guy, although Inwas not an effeminate boy. I played sports, etc. — but I always wished that I could be “hanging with” the girls, or at social gatherings when the men split off to one room to talk about cars or baseball and the women stayed in the kitchen, I would make excuses to stay around the women. They were just more interesting, and I liked watching them, how they moved, talked, their hair, makeup, clothes.

I remember telling a professional makeover artist that I was “just a crossdresser” after she’d made me up and escorted me out to dinner. She laughed and said something like, “Sure honey, you can tell yourself whatever you want.” I opened up to her (sitting across from her at a Thai restaurant” like she was a therapist and she described the transgender continuum thing (using different words). She got me thinking, reading, and understanding...

Now I know I’m not “just a crossdresser.” (Not that there is anything wrong with that.) And I also know, as some others have mentioned that I will never transition (mostly for family reasons.) Where am I on that continuum? Somewhere past the middle. Why does it matter? Only in my own self-acceptance. Nancy

[Karen RHT]

Nancy, I have no desire in transitioning. I love wearing women's clothing, but it stops there.

I'm the same as Jamie.


Karen

[Crissy 107]

We are all on the Transgender spectrum just different places and we are not stuck in one part of that spectrum, it can change often for some of us.

[Princess Chantal]

No, never wished or had a want to be a woman. I enjoy dressing as a crossdresser or as a woman prettied up for a special occasion, you know like wearing a dress, nylons and heels!

[Krea]

Crissy, this is so true.
I find myself in some sort of middle ground. I do not have any desire to transition, but equally neither do i associate with the "masculine" male type either.

[NancySue]

Since I put on my first pair of stockings, it’s all about the fun, enjoyment, pleasure challenges, etc. of dressing. That’s it for me.

[Cheryl T]

When I first tried on my mom's lingerie I was 5 or 6.
I didn't know why, but it just felt so natural to me. It certainly wasn't sexual at that age.
Later I went through that sexual stage and then it changed again and for the last 25 years hasn't been so. It's just been that "natural" feeling again.
Do I want to be a woman? I would fall asleep when I was little and pray I would wake up a girl. Now I know that deep inside I am that girl and it's just that my outside doesn't match.
I can do and have done all kinds of manly things, but they have never brought me the peace and comfort that I find when I express my femininity.

Where will I end up? I can't say just yet, the journey is still ongoing.

[rockerreds]

Yes, I should have born female.

[Stephanie47]

No, I do not want to be a woman. If I had been born as a GG that would have been alright too. As as little kid I had zero interest in girls. I had no female cousins and my sister was born when I was twelve. I was a rough and tumble boy who attracted trouble all the time. My first foray into women's clothing was my mother's nylon full slips. I was attracted to the feel of the nylon. No desire to be a female. Around puberty my interests grew more. I have no idea why I went from just trying on my mother's slip to raiding her undergarment draws; panty (ush!), bra, girdle and hosiery. And, a summer dress until I outgrew it. Smeared on makeup. I have some unscientific ideas concerning these interests. However, these activities while pleasurable while doing it did bring shame and self loathing afterwards. It took decades to accept my desire to wear women's clothing, although I still have reservations about interacting with fellow humans.

Although I have never had a desire to become a woman at any time during my life, I find these threads interesting. Basically, aside from the interest in clothing, what is it in womanhood do you desire? What in manhood do you reject or are escaping from? Decades ago there were many societal restrictions placed upon girls/women. I hear it all the time from my wife of almost fifty years. I saw it in junior high school. Girls were destined to be domesticated women bearing children. Not to become a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe a teacher to herd little kids in classrooms. Not to operate heavy equipment. Now? The gender barriers or at least the legal barriers are not there.

So what is the reason to become a female? When you say you "admired the lives the girls in my neighborhood seemed to be living" I will bet a pile of money those girls look back at those times with disdain and revulsion. The only comments I ever heard from late teens girls was they were happy they were not men so they would not be drafted and get shot in Vietnam. Of course, now many women now enlist in the military and take that chance.

[Jenny22]

If I could take a magic pink pill that would change my sex to female, I would take it.

[Angela Marie]

I definitely subscribe to the gender continuum theory. I am clearly on the more feminine side but I also have substantial male characteristics. I am not going to transition so I live my life in a binary existence. I have a loving, accepting wife and great children; no they don't know. My life is good and I am satisfied. Expressing my femininity is important to me; but so are the other of parts of my life. You play the hand you were dealt and make the best of it.

[Robbiegirl]

I adore women, but no thanks ! Just like to wear their silly clothing !

[Donna June]

I wish I was a woman. If I had all the info, resources and the internet in the late 70's and the 80's I think I would have probably had SRS. Age, money and a medical condition make that impossible now. So, yes I wish I were female, but I get by and I am fairly happy and content.

[carhill2mn]

Do I wish to be a woman? That is a good question. An answer is "maybe, some of the time". Mostly, I prefer to present as a woman and be treated as one when I do present as a woman.

For me, the attraction has always been the clothes, shoes, makeup and over-all look. I love the feel of women's clothes, the jewelry, and makeup. Also, a wig makes my head look better. I get great pleasure just from seeing the clothes and shoes that I am wearing as well as the over-all image. I particularly like wearing skirts and dresses. Unfortunately, I can no longer wear heels which I just loved to do!

One of the things that I like about presenting as a woman is the great variety of clothes, shoes and jewelry that are available. I like to mix
and match to get different looks. Generally, men's clothing choices are boring and no fun to wear.

[Seana Summer]

I think someone asked this a while ago? But anyway.....No, I don't want to be a women. I was born with male chromosomes, plumbing and bone structure so male I will remain.

I just like to wear dresses and skirts and nylons and heels and and and!!

;)

[Asew]

I adore women, but no thanks ! Just like to wear their silly clothing !

Ditto :)

[Jean. Ann]

Yes it would be nice , but I don't think it is going to happen
JAS

[sometimes_miss]

For me, wanting to be female was apparently mostly just a desire to relieve the gender identity dysphoria caused by experiences outside of actually being transgendered. But actually transitioning would have caused as many problems as it would resolve. So I just stay as I am; a part time crossdresser. I sort of consider myself lucky in a way, that I don't suffer with GID any more severe than it already is. Because there really are no options that would fix my situation; a now 63 year old huge man who still feels like I'm waiting to be made into the cute 14 year old girl that I grew up believing that I was supposed to be, and thought that I eventually would become.
So for brief periods, once in a while, I just pretend that I actually am what I thought I was supposed to be. Hurts no one, and gives me some brief escape from the GID.

Besides, my only options are to be a great, big, old homely man, or a great, big, old, homely woman. Life won't change much at all, either way. So why bother to go through all the trouble.

[CynthiaD]

I’m already a woman despite having male body parts. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing.

Yes, it would be nice to have female body parts instead, but the issue isn’t pressing.

It’s nice to be able to wear normal clothing, and look like myself, as opposed to going around pretending to be male. I’d like to go 24/7, but that’s not in the cards right now. I do spend at least part of every day dressed as myself.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Ahh, the age old question, "Do you want to get in to her panties or into her panties?"

I don't really know for sure. My answer can change on a day-to-day basis.

[Nikki.]

No, I do not want to be a woman. If I had been born as a GG that would have been alright too. As as little kid I had zero interest in girls. I had no female cousins and my sister was born when I was twelve. I was a rough and tumble boy who attracted trouble all the time. My first foray into women's clothing was my mother's nylon full slips. I was attracted to the feel of the nylon. No desire to be a female. Around puberty my interests grew more. I have no idea why I went from just trying on my mother's slip to raiding her undergarment draws; panty (ush!), bra, girdle and hosiery. And, a summer dress until I outgrew it. Smeared on makeup. I have some unscientific ideas concerning these interests. However, these activities while pleasurable while doing it did bring shame and self loathing afterwards. It took decades to accept my desire to wear women's clothing, although I still have reservations about interacting with fellow humans.

Although I have never had a desire to become a woman at any time during my life, I find these threads interesting. Basically, aside from the interest in clothing, what is it in womanhood do you desire? What in manhood do you reject or are escaping from? Decades ago there were many societal restrictions placed upon girls/women. I hear it all the time from my wife of almost fifty years. I saw it in junior high school. Girls were destined to be domesticated women bearing children. Not to become a lawyer or a doctor. Maybe a teacher to herd little kids in classrooms. Not to operate heavy equipment. Now? The gender barriers or at least the legal barriers are not there.

So what is the reason to become a female? When you say you "admired the lives the girls in my neighborhood seemed to be living" I will bet a pile of money those girls look back at those times with disdain and revulsion. The only comments I ever heard from late teens girls was they were happy they were not men so they would not be drafted and get shot in Vietnam. Of course, now many women now enlist in the military and take that chance.

Being trans is ineffable. However when I read the stories of experiences and feelings of other trans people, I know we are similar. The best analogy I’ve read, which still does a poor job describing the trans experience,’is like being homesick for a place you’ve never been.

- - - Updated - - -


Short answer, absolutely not! I love being a guy and enjoy being one! I love relaxing and being a slob whenever I feel like it! Which in turns, makes it super special whenever I’m in girl mode! I’ve learned how very hard it is to be a girl! OMG!


You (and I) have zero idea what it’s like to be a woman.

[Victoria_R]

For me there are days I wish I was a woman and then there are days I love being a man. I wish there was a switch I can turn on and off on being 100% woman and male. But most of the time I wish I was more woman.

[Sallee]

No If I were a really transitioned or FAB, it would probably take all the fun out of cross dressing.

[Sabrina133]

I have gone from denying to my therapist that i wanted to be a girl to admitting that i would have been ok either way to now...24/7 in girl mode, on HRT and feeling fabulous.

As i've seen my female body appear and my maleness disappear, I have become happier than i've ever been. My wife is pretty darn happy about it as well.

XO
Bree

[Jayne44C]

I've fantasized about it. It's always been enough to dress up for me though.

[StephanieIndy]

I’m Trans, I have always considered myself to have been born the incorrect sex. I have a therapist and a recommendation for HRT but work issues currently prevent me from going ahead yet.

[Tahoegurl]

I am OK being me...dressed whatever way I feel like at the moment. I do prefer to be very fashionable...just because.

[Bea_]

Nope. I'm just a sort of contrarian male who's jealous of some of the things women have to themselves in the "real" world.

[Crissy 107]

Bea, Pretty funny!

[Jodie_Lynn]

>>SNIP<<

Do you wish you were a woman?
>>SNIP<<

Yes, and working towards that goal, one day at a time. :)

[nadaay]

I want to experience being a woman for a day like being a 100% cis woman and then return as a man again. Maybe if they created a quick transition button to experiment I would do it

[mbmeen12]

I enjoy dressing and do wish /imagine the sensual feelings GGs feel during in the bedroom. When I have to work outside, I appreciate the "T" in my body.

[Girl]

Yes, I absolutely do want to be a woman. I've always known that, I just wish I'd had the courage to say so in my teens.

[Richelle423]

Deep down inside I am a woman. I’ve been gender queer all my life. I feel most comfortable wearing women’s clothing. I had to stay back a year in high school because I would skip school and dress up in girls clothes.now I am sorta out I wear women’s clothing on a daily basis. No longer does it affect my performance as an individual in society. I still look like a dude wearing feminine clothing but that’s just me. I don’t care a rats a$$ anymore.

[jacques]

hello Nancy,
I would like to be me
luv J

[CourtneyJamieson]

Yes....the more I dress and indulge in the female world the more I wish that I was just a girl. I LUV when I am feeling Fem and dressing and going out. Wish I could just do that all the time without all the trouble and secrecy. I would LOVE to be a girl 24/7 and just deal with all the issues of being a girl (Which there are many) vs. dealing with all the issues of being a guy (Which there are many).

[Bobbi46]

Sometimes yes I wish I had been born a woman but I was not but deep inside me there are strong feminine feelings so dressing completely fills that void and keeps me happy.

[Ericka_d]

I have no doubt's that if I was single, and never had to worry about money. I would transition.

[prene]

There is a lot of different answers for me.
I wish I was born a woman YES.
I have been struggling with the idea of transitioning, my therapist and I.
Maybe

[ChubbyLeahCD]

I have no desire to become a woman. I want to get to a point where I have acceptance and can have all body hair from my body gone so that I can easily go Leah or Leo. I want to live in the verge.

[Michelle1955]

Yes, been with me for nearly 60 years. Started at about age 4-5, female in a male body. Which will stay male due to other health concerns. But female cloths helps, but I am not a cross dresser. Being female is in the brain since at an early age. Wife of 40 years, 2 girls and a grandkid. Do love the cloths.

[Bruce64]

I just like wearing the clothes, that's about it until I joined this group, I was only wearing panties, now I wear Brassieres, Pantyhoses, slips, anything underneath, and I have no desire to be a Female I couldn't be.

[Nicole Bernard]

If I could snap my fingers and change at will, yes. I want it all. I want to be a woman and not have to deal with my friends, family, or society rejecting me. But I absolutely know that's a ridiculous fantasy.

Back to reality.

I may, one day, change my life to live as a woman. Possibly even go as far as breast implants

I don't want gender reassignment surgery though.

[LilSissyStevie]

There have been times in my life where I would absolutely have said "Yes." But when the fog cleared it turned out to have been a delusion - an erotic fantasy. Take away the erotic element and I don't think about gender at all but my interests tend to be stereotypically male or androgynous.

[anastasialove]

I think it is just an erotic fantasy mosst the time.

[SaraLin]

If you ask me -
I want to BE!
(but can't, you see-
Reality)


sorry - sometimes the rhyme just leaks out.:heehee:

[NancyJ]

This question seems to have elicited two general categories of responses, those who dress in women’s clothes because they enjoy doing so (for a variety of reasons, but often erotic), and those who dress to experience a calming, or a gender-confirming. No surprise. This represents the spectrum, those of us who fit the definition of crossdresser (for purposes of brevity: experiencing pleasure from dressing in female clothes on occasion), and those of us who fit the definition of transgender: (dressing to confirm what is believed to be ‘true’ gender, to experience a sense of calm or oneness with self.

Technically speaking, I would put all of us who crossdress under the wider “tent” of transgender, although I recognize that it is an important distinction that there are many men who crossdress who are not gender dysphoric and who do not have thoughts of being a woman in actuality. My thinking about myself has changed. I used to (20 years ago) reassure myself that I was “only a crossdresser.” I had an experience in the midst of a professional m2f transformation that began to alter my thinking. When I told the gal who’d done my makeup that I was “just a crossdresser,” she gently laughed at me, and said “I don’t think so, not the way your mood changed once you got dressed.” We had the most open discussion I’d ever had with anyone about my long-standing gender dysphoria (a new term to me then), and I returned home to study up on the matter and with a lot to think about.

Thanks to all who answered my thread. Nancy

[Lacey New]

I am perfectly happy as a man and have no desire to be a woman. However, I just simply like to cressdress and yes, there has always been an erotic component to it for me.

[BTWimRobin]

I am very happy being a man and have no desires to become a woman. I do like my feminine side. After all why should girls have all the fun.

[Christie ann]

If I knew back then what I know now I would have transitioned as early as possible. At this stage it's not fair to my wife and children to upend their lives.

[NancyJ]

If I knew back then what I know now I would have transitioned as early as possible. At this stage it's not fair to my wife and children to upend their lives.
That is precisely how I feel (I would just add my grandkids to the list). Nancy

[Teresa]

Nicole ,
Much of that can still happen but don't think for one minute that transition brings all those problems to an end .

We must also be totally realistic that being women doesn't put us on a pedestal . I have to take my hat off to most women when it's considered what a juggling act they perform most days , there's a little more to it than wearing a bra and panties !!

[sara66]

When I was younger I thought I might. Now I am older, it is more fun to just dress the part.
Sara :heehee:

[Wesley]

I am a man and enjoy being a man. I love wearing women's clothes at home. I underdress everyday. My wife is loving and understands this is who I am. I can't go out fully dressed. My wife will buy me clothes but would never go out with me fully dressed.

[

[rhonda]

I think I just thought of a way to quit crossdressing completely , if you transition to a women you wouldn't be a crossdresser anymore , yep that's the only way to quit , then again after transitioning you could start wearing guy clothes
I'm beginning to think I didn't get enough sleep last night and or it's to early in the morning

[EllieOPKS]

This is an interesting thread. It's one of those questions with no right or wrong answer. I have stated my circumstance before, when I'm in female mode I am all female, appearance, thought processing, acting and intimatecy.
When I am in male mode it's the same thing. I need to reread that jekyll and Hyde thing. Lol. For me, I will stay with who I am.

[Christina89]

For the longest time when I was younger I thought about it. But as time went on I realized that I was happy being me and dressing as a woman on occasions. Granted I don't get out as much as I wish, I'm still happy being me.

[CrossKimmy]

There are days that I absolutely must be a woman. I?m convinced that I was born in the wrong body and that if I changed that I?d be fulfilled.

Then there are days that I feel content being a boy who likes to wear girls things.

Sooooo confused!!!

[KiraK]

For me personally, it's mostly about the clothes. Though I have been experiencing a natural loss of T since turning 50 and some of the aspects of being female have manifested, such as heightened emotions, and gynecomastia (which can be both a blessing and a curse, if I'm being honest). The thoughts I have about "being" female, are mostly fantasies and probably closer to fetish thoughts as opposed to dysphoria. I'm 100% heterosexual and fully committed to my wife who I love completely, though at the moment we are in DADT mode, as I've posted about previously in other threads. Who knows if this will develop further, but for the moment, I am happy being a man who happens to wear women's clothes while at home alone.