dressing blues

[Sallee]

Had the opportunity to dress for few days and it had been awhile. So I was looking forward to it. I was home alone. So I pulled out my stash and looked at it and just wasn't excited. I dressed and took some pic had plans on going out. The mall the local drag bar and maybe a movie. i have done this before numerous times and enjoyed it. But his time I just wasn't into it so I just didn't go out. I did the same thing tonight but wasn't excited aboiut it but I did get out. t
This time walked through Hillcrest in San Diego. When I go out I usually dress conservatively usually jeans and usually no one notices So every thing is fine and it was like that tonight to. But again I jusst wasn't into it, I felt like a man in a dress or maybe a girl in jeans coming home from work. So I came home early to take my heels off, low 2", I really had plans to rock out. Even in the drag bar I only saw one cd who is always there and several others well into transition. I am sure I looked fine too. I sure felt like a guy in a bra.
I find it interesting that I was looking forward to dressing and then just wasn't. A strange addiction. Does this happen to any body else.

[Debs]

I go through phases like this, dont worry it will come back when your least expecting it. It normally takes a trigger to set it off, a bit of stress or loneliness, or just spotting an item while browsing out shopping, i dont mean for clothes specifically, just some thing catches your eye and you think "I'll look good in that ". So watch your back, it will get you, sometimes its been months, but you will be caught, lol

[Helen_Highwater]

Sallee,

I wouldn't read too much into this. The same thing can happen to say a sport you play regularly. You really look forward to playing football with the boys once a week and then one time, you're just not in the mood.

Anticipation of something can have the effect you describe. The reality fails to meet expectations or on the outset of something your mind is elsewhere and things don't come together.

It can be the smallest of things that trigger these responses so don't fret it. All will come good in due time. Normal service will be resumed.

[NancyJ]

I don’t go out, so I’m not sure about that part. But in reading your story, I guess my thought was — what was it she was looking for that was missing? I haven’t experienced an excitement in dressing for some time (although I think having a professional makeover and going out “with the gals” would be a blast). I dress to experience a state of calmness, to try to silence my gender dysphoria, to try to match my outer appearance with my inner perception of myself and to experience the clothing, the earrings, the lipstick, the feeling of a skirt against my legs, the sight of breasts on my chest, etc. we’re all different in terms of our motivations for dressing (to a degree). I’m thinking maybe you might want to give some thought to what it is you seek from the dressing experience because your disappointment would reflect that you missed it. Easier to get what you want when you know what it is you are looking for... Nancy

[Crissy 107]

It could just be the ebb and flow of cross dressing.

[BTWimRobin]

I wouldn't read too much into it. Like Chrissy said, it's the ebb & flow. When you least expect it .... Poof! The pink fog will roll in.

[Tracii G]

I wouldn't worry too much about it.
If you don't feel it then you just don't feel it.

[GretchenM]

From what I can gather from posts here, it happens to everybody (except me, of course - ha ha). Why? Nobody knows. Probably just a matter of having more or less what can be called two gender identities. Sometimes she just doesn't want to do that ("Not tonight, I have a headache" kind of thing). Don't sweat it; don't worry about it. It is OK.

[Cheryl T]

Like anything else that you do sometimes you look forward to it greatly and then just don't feel like it.
Whether it's working on a project, building that dog house or dressing.
Anticipation is exciting, but sometimes you just feel Blah about it when the time comes.

[Angie G]

No I always want to dress and down when I can't. :hugs:
Angie

[Stephanie47]

There has been many times when I have had the opportunity to be en femme, but, there was not any desire or motivation. There also have been times when I had gotten fully en femme and it all seems foreign to me. Like, why the heck and I doing this? I have always dressed for serenity or calmness....a stress reliever. Whatever is the mechanism for stimulating me to be en femme sometimes it just not there.

Of course, especially in the past there were times I was just climbing the walls with anxiety needing to relieve stress through dressing.

If it is not there, don't force it.

[Bobbi46]

Long ago I went through a phase just like this, illness related as well but after I got better the desire was still not there to dress and then all of a sudden, just out of the blue one morning I got up and just dressed the feeling of my femmme things on me told me what was in fact missing, since then I never stopped.

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, Sallee, all the time! Altho, I rarely dress to blend when I go out. When I go out looking like a MIAD that assures that I feel like one! I try to look fem and sexy.:battingeyelashes:

To the point: That is why I wear masks. To me, I look female and feel more like one masked. Without them, no matter what I wear I'm simply a MIAD! And, I feel like one!:sad:

[alwayshave]

Sallee, When I could dress whenever I wanted, sometimes I just did not feel it. I have a chance so infrequently now, I am usually dying to by the time I get a chance.

[Maria 60]

Sometimes I wait for the perfect opportunity and then maybe rough day at work or just not in the mood. I believe timing is everything and I guess we are not always in the mood to do things at times.

[Judy-Somthing]

I know how you feel.

I had a six hour window to dress the other day but had no desire.
I went and look at dresses but the whole time I felt everyone was looking at me!

Been thinking of Purging at least 1/2 my STUFF!

[Kendra Sue]

Sallee,
Your preachin to the choir. My need comes and goes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sallee :hugs:, You can't win them all, Some times you are the pigeon and some times you are the statue.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid .oO:daydreaming:Oo.

[Jaycie]

My time between dressing can be months, so I currently really look forward to the opportunity. I know if I could dress more often I would. But would it become routine? would I lose interest in dressing? Maybe I'll find out someday. I'd likely just end up wearing yoga pants everywhere :)

[CynthiaD]

Sallee:
I don't share your feelings, but I certainly understand them. Many people on this site want crossdressing to feel special and are disappointed when it doesnt. As for myself, I want wearing female clothing to feel ordinary. I wear female clothing for a few hours every day, all day if I can manage it. At one time when I couldn't dress often, I felt the thrill of being special. But these days, I find the feeling of being ordinary to be more emotionally satisfying.

[Sallee]

Well here is a follow up. I did gt out and about on Friday night and it was fun but not the old thrill that I have gotten before. My thought is tht it was an off night in San Diego no where I went was busy. I still had fun

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I followed it up with a day out on MOnday where I wen to the mall Ross N&M and a few other shops I also did Costco for gas and the food court. It was fun but just a day doing chores for this girl I dressed in jeans and nice blouse and saw no stares or heard no unkind comments or even kind comments. It was fun spending the day in girl mode. BY the end of the day I felt comfortable and could forget I was enfemme until I saw my reflection which was a thrill.
After another day of dressing, 2 in a row, I knew the thrill would be gone. So I'll put off a second day for a few days. But I will be planning my next outing. I think I want to go to a casino. My fear there is I might win big and get outed because of it Weird fear i know

[Seana Summer]

I hear what you are saying. It has been a while since I have really been excited about getting dressed up. For me I think it may be seasonal. Fall and winter I seem to enjoy getting dressed up and want to go out. Now, in August, I'm interested, but I'm just not feeling it. I'll just wait, I bet I'll feel it again! I bet you will too

Hang in there!!

[Cheshire girl]

Sometimes the urge to dress recedes. Even the chance to go out is ignored. It always comes back so never purge! I see a gorgeous woman tottering down the street in heels and a tight skirt and the urge is right back. Sometimes you just lose confidence that when you go out dressed you look good. Then you have a good experience. Maybe someone says how fab you look and it all comes back. That’s my situation anyway. If ever the urge temporarily goes the wardrobes of clothes etc seem a waste of time and money but it soon comes right again!

[Micki_Finn]

That’s usually bad makeup days for me. I’ll be all excited to turn it out, then I’d sit down and try to do my makeup, and for whatever reason it just would not work. Either I couldn’t get it on straight or even, or for some reason it just wouldn’t go in right and I’d be sitting there looking at a boy in makeup in the mirror and all enthusiasm for dressing would go right out the window. Fortunately I don’t really have to deal with this too much anymore. I’ve had too many days where I felt like it just wasn’t working for me, but I powered through because I had an obligation and was able to wrangle a presentable look anyway.

[Barbara Joanne74]

Wow, I logged in here tonight with these exact thoughts and came across this thread. It has been months since Barbara has been able to get out in full girl mode. This weekend I traveled about 7 hours to go surprise my brother for his birthday. What a perfect opportunity for this girl to get out. I planned out the day, where to stop to change my clothing, where to do my makeup and wig, and where I could stop and feel safe. So there I was, all girly and having a blast driving, I stopped at Starbucks, a rest area or 2 to use the lady's room having a great day. Suddenly about 2/3 of the way through the trip, did not seem to be enjoying it. An hour before every time I looked in the mirror I would see a middle aged woman traveling the interstate. Now it was just a guy in makeup and a wig, the thrill was gone. I held out about 1 more hour and then pulled over (before I had planned to) and began the process of changing back to boy mode.

As I sit here writing this, even though I have the drive back tomorrow, only about 10 percent of me wants to get girly and the rest of me is like, to hell with it, just get home.
This frustrates me, as I was so looking forward to 2 days of traveling en-fem, but now I don't seem motivated.

Thank you to everyone that replied here saying you have times like this too, you have no idea how much better I feel now, knowing I am not alone in this...

Safe Travels Sisters

Barbara

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Well, I did finally decide to dress, and I am so thankful. It has been a wonderful experience so far.
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[closets]

even after all of the effort to get ready, i sometimes just don't bother to go out. you get that moment when you just feel hopeless. it's weird but it happens.

[HollyGreene]

even after all of the effort to get ready, i sometimes just don't bother to go out. you get that moment when you just feel hopeless. it's weird but it happens.

That never happens to me. If I get ready to go out, I always go out.
However, there have been times when I planned to go out, but lost the will to go through the makeup procedure (I'm not that quick at doing makeup), and ended up staying in.

[NancyJ]

Have you ever purchased theater, concert, or other event tickets way in advance, then when the night of the event came just didn’t feel much like going? Sometimes when you do go ahead and go, you get into it and enjoy it, but sometimes the reality does not meet the expectation. One aspect of many of these dressing experiences that is bound to lead to some disappointment is that we, to some extent, may be chasing the “high” that we got from initial crossdressing experiences. There is an endorphin “rush” that accompanies many “firsts,” and doing it again and again is not going to feel quite the same.

I think that this comes back to what the goal of the crossdressing is — if it is to achieve a “thrill,” it is likely that the stakes will have to continue, over time, to get higher to achieve the same results (this is why gamblers start placing larger bets). If the goal is gender-confirming, the sensation achieved from dressing will likely be one of calm and oneness with self rather than excitement (although nervousness about discovery might be confused with excitement).

One striking aspect of the stories in this thread (to me) is that they are stories of dressing alone. I think that crossdressing can be a lonely and isolating activity. How different it might be to be dressed and have a place to go to interact and be accepted as a woman. That is what I would want! Nancy

[Angela Marie]

You are not alone by any means. I started dressing last year after a two year purge. I used to go out quite a bit; shopping, dining, etc. The first few times I went back out were ok. Then I became exceedingly nervous venturing out. The desire seemed to wane also. The cycle reset itself and I have my mojo, or whatever you call it, back. I think that, as some have pointed out like many other activities sometimes you feel like doing it, sometimes you don't. Now I just go with the flow knowing that the desire will return.

[rhonda]

Maybe this feeling is like a cold take an aspirin , drink plenty water and every thing will back to normal

[Traci H]

This hits home with me in a slightly different way. If I get a rare period home alone, I start to think about how I could spend an evening getting dolled up. I don’t go out, but enjoy dressing in my home.

However sometimes I just don’t have the energy/drive to complete the task in the evening. I might get dressed, but then to spend the time to do my makeup and I just poop out. Not always sure if it’s the tiredness from a day’s worth of projects, (I find this to happen now that I am retired), the lessening of my desire, or what. Sometimes maybe I can just toss on leggings with a fem top, panties and bra underneath and leave it at that. This despite the fact that I love wearing a dress. Maybe it just not that different than a woman would experience.

I can’t always figure it out.
Traci

[abbiedrake]

For me, this is one of the frustrations of being 'just a CD' instead of actually TG, if you know what I mean. It would be nice if it were a constant but clearly, for many of us, it simply isn't. I think that's why I do hybrid mode so often. It's enough to get by while I can't fully femme up. But when that day next comes I might then not have the urge for a while. Dunno. Frustrating see?

[phili]

When I don't feel like dressing/or do, but just can't find the right outfit- or my fave just doesn't feel wonderful I am disappointed too. I want the 'there I am!' high, or the special 'at last...' peace, or something besides the sort of work of life. But some days it is just work, and certainly ggs experience this too.

An outfit is a specific message- and sometimes my feelings are not coherent enough to match the messages of my outfits. I also see it as a testimony that undr every boy ad girl is just a non-gendered human as well, and sometimes that is where I am-