Tom-boy

[carhill2mn]

A girl who is called a tom-boy is generally accepted and even admired. Perhaps, someone in this august group knows if there is a non-derogatory term that would describe a boy that at times acts like a girl. If there is, I do not know what it is.

[NancyJ]

Good point, Carole. We get good at hiding it. Otherwise we are called sissies. Many of us become almost hyper-masculine in our demeanor and presentation to cover up our desires to be feminine. I did — that’s why my friends, even today, would be shocked to know that I’ve secretly been wearing panties all these years and consider myself trans. Most of us hide it. Nancy

[Allisa]

The only one I can think of is "girly-boy" but is that derogatory or just less than most?

[Kelly DeWinter]

Actually the term "Nancy Boy" used for a a very feminised man has been around since the Beatles . I believe it originated around Manchester England. Very popular in the 70's 80s east coast scene.

[Micki_Finn]

Perhaps, someone in this august group knows if there is a non-derogatory term that would describe a boy that at times acts like a girl.

“Fabulous” comes to mind

[alwayshave]

Micki, I'm with you.

[Kelli_cd]

I remember being 7 or so and hearing "tom-boy" for the first time. I thought, Well, that must make a tom-girl.

[Stephanie47]

According to the on-line dictionaries there is the term "tomgirl;" a boy who behaves in a typically girlish manner. When I was a little kid and played baseball from morning to night our team had a girl on it. She played center field. She was called "Charlie" which was the name she chose. She could hit and field. She wore jeans and tee shirts like any other baseball player on the diamond. I never got the impression she ever wanted to be a boy or emulate a boy. She just had a love for baseball. I often wonder how she turned out as a teenager and young adult. She was just a girl ahead of the times. Now girls play baseball and many sports usually associated with males only in the past.

[Devi SM]

Carol, someone already gave my answer that in my limited English knowledge is sissy.
I'd like to add the example of what people think of a topical scene in a romantic movie when after having the first ight together, with or without showing sex but it was obvious, the girl in the morning is showed wearing just the guy shirt while preparing breakfast for him. A normal common and nobody would say anything negative about the scene.
The same scene but change the roles. Now the guy is wearing her panties and bra preparing the breakfast. Everybody would immediately think that the guy is gay or "sissy" not mattering if he behave all night long very masculine showing in a sex performance scene.
Today is hard even for some trans people as me to act and ha e femenine mannerisms because of those prejudices.
A good friend of mine told me after knowing I'm transgender that wouldn't recommend me to change and act as a woman, so be sissy, even thought he told me I look pretty like a woman.

[GretchenM]

I have never heard any term that isn't at least somewhat derogatory. It is a consequence of our modern society and the general public's adherence to the gender binary concept and the traditional and stereotypical view that men should be masculine and any male that isn't must be, well, you know, one of those.

These views are fading fast in some places, but in others they are still walls filled with kryptonite that even Superman can't get through, at least not when wearing a dress. Now women have gained a great deal more freedom in expression and selection of careers and are taking on a lot of male roles while staying feminine.

So, I ask myself, if women can do that and it is acceptable why can't men do that and have it equally acceptable? But, much of the time, it doesn't seem to work that way. Tradition is hard to break. But we are the pioneers in that effort and the more we show others that being somewhat the reverse of the modern, liberated woman can work quite nicely. Men don't have to look like cave men to be men and men who wish can take on feminine roles if they so desire. Liberation works both ways. Just a matter of changing the equations and see that the solutions are still quite workable.

A lot of women now dress in a more masculine way, even though they can still turn heads when they dress very feminine. So why can't men do that? Tradition and stereotypes that date back a couple thousand years is the main reason. Maybe breaking the mold is too dangerous, but putting some cracks in the ceramic bowl that maintains the traditions and stereotypes is not a bad thing. We are human; we are diverse and innovative. So why not show the world that being a feminine man is not necessarily a bad thing and some kind of terrible sin. Just think before you act. But like the women who have broken into the men's world showing than men can break into the women's world and do so successfully just helps break down nonsensical barriers.

[Crissy 107]

When I was bullied as a kid one of the terms they used to call me was Tom girl. That one really didn’t bother me.

[suzanne]

When I was in high school, a certain three letter F word was applied liberally to any boy who deviated in the slightest from the accepted definition of masculinity. Most of us could only spot one such person, in a school of nearly 1000 students, with any certainty, and he had it rough. (Looking back, this person was likely a transwoman.)

We now know the incidence of LGBT people is much larger than one in a thousand, so there had to be more than just the obvious one. I think the others observed what happened to the (alleged) t-girl and decided to keep their heads down down down. Myself included. But I was a fairly major jock, the kind that is the last person anyone would suspect, so it worked in my favor. All I had to do was not let my brother find out, and he never did.

[Jean. Ann]

I think it would be great if Nancy Boy or
Tommy Girl became generally accepted
and popular life style choices foe men .
With no stigma attached !

JAS

[Bobbi46]

Actualy Nancy boy is now a derogitory term and should not be used! in its original meaning it referred to a homosexual man now we prefer to use the term gay for either a man or a woman? but I would baulk at generally using the term Nancy Boy.

[Jean. Ann]

I say perhaps we should own the name take away the negative connotation
and take pride in being fem and or a Crossdresser

JAS

[Bobbi46]

Jean yes I can see where you are coming from on this maybe time should let the dust settle but those of the generation still around would still relate to the connotation, I feel that there is perhaps still some stigma attached to the term, maybe my thinking should be more liberal, coulkd it just be possible to reintroduce the term without harking back to times gone by?

[Asew]

Over on reddit there are r/feminineboys (discussion) and r/femboy (pictures).

[LilSissyStevie]

My daughter lived in the Dallas area for a while and says the term there, at least in the Black community, was "sweet." That was the nice term for effeminate males - "he's sweet." It also carried the connotation of being gay. But really, as long as effeminate males are unacceptable, any term applied to them will end up being derogatory. One only has to look at the succession of terms for racial minorities that started out as "nice" words and ended up as epithets. If people don't respect you for what you are, whatever they call you will be an epithet in their mind.