Age appropriate

[Sometimes Steffi]

There always seem to be a lot of comments about dressing age appropriate.

I think that age is just a number, and that I probably look maybe 10 to 15 years younger than my driver's license says I am. I might even look a few years younger than that wearing makeup. Maybe it's Maybelline!

So, why shouldn't I be able to dress age appropriate as if I was 10 to 15 years younger?

I'll even admit that I cheat. Sometimes I find something that I really like that I think looks really nice on me. That's when I throw out the age-appropriate book and just buy it. For me, there are only 3 hard rules: (1) Don't show too much leg, (2) Don't show too much boob, and don't show any midriff. Bathing suits might be an exception and np rules apply on Halloween, except near nudity.

Agree? Disagree?

[Cheryl T]

I agree with your rules completely.
As for age appropriate I feel that applies to your "perceived" age, not your chronological age. As with you, I feel that I appear 15 to 20 years younger than my actual age when I'm dolled up and makeup is a huge part of that. It's magical what the right makeup can do for a gal.
I dress my apparent age, and maybe I cheat also from time to time. Luckily I still have the legs for shorter skirts so that's my go to area.
I don't show a lot of cleavage and never any midriff unless it's in my bikini.

Besides, how boring would it be if everyone had to dress their age all the time??

[Robertacd]

Well if you can pull it off then go for it. I am in my 50 's and my hair is gray. So I look a little silly and rather sad dressing like a teenager.

[Stacy Darling]

Age Appropriate is for, this is where I must be careful!

When I do Drag my look is much older and beautiful, my day wear is much more flimsy with the younger look.

What ever fits us Steff!

Stace

[Sometimes Steffi]

Well if you can pull it off then go for it. I am in my 50 's and my hair is gray. So I look a little silly and rather sad dressing like a teenager.


My hair is mostly gone and I always wear a wig. So I can be whatever color I want, and sometimes I am brown, blond, auburn or red, depending on my mood.

As for looking like a teenager, no way. But, I think I can dress as a 40 something, as long as she is not trying to dress like a teenager.

[Krea]

It depends on whether you want to blend in or be noticed. It's each to their own....
Personally i prefer to try and dress suitably for my age. I would be conspicuous enough as a miad, going out dressed for my age, but would be completely out of place dressed like a teenager. :eek: :facepalm:
My wife's main request about my CDing is that i dress tastefully/appropriately, which i agree with completely.:thumbsup:

[Asew]

My wife has told me some of my items are too young for me and other things were too mature yet. I don't really care about age appropriate but do consider proper coverage / modesty :)

[Nicole Bernard]

I think Krea said it best, whether you want to blend or not.

Are you dressing at home or going out?

Obviously, when you're at home GO WILD!

You have to decide this question for yourself.

As for me, I want to look like an average everyday woman. I definitely don't pass but I can wear what most women wear and be happy about it.

[docrobbysherry]

It has nothing to do with your age and everything to do with your figure and venue u plan to visit!:D

I have no interest in dressing to go to Denny's, a movie, or the mall.:straightface:

But, I do often dress for T friendly clubs, bars, and events! Even tho I'm 76 I dress in 20/30's outfits. Why do I dress that young? Because I CAN!:devil:

Here's a photo of me at Hamburger Mary's beach party nite earlier this month!
306702
Mods: I have permission to post the mermaids photo. She's a friend of mine.

[sometimes_miss]

I already look like a big, homely old man. Looking like a big, homely old woman wouldn't change anything.

[Helen_Highwater]

Steffi,

"For me, there are only 3 hard rules: (1) Don't show too much leg, (2) Don't show too much boob, and don't show any midriff. "

For ladies of a more mature disposition, that's dressing in an age appropriate way. It doesn't mean you can't wear something with a splash of colour or everything has to be loosely fitted.

Everyone is free to choose whatever they want to be seen in but for me having seen GG's dressing in fashions that suit the super skinny teenager when they're figure is somewhat more fuller generally just makes them stand out for all the wrong reasons. Dressing fashionable and dressing well are often two different things.

A short while ago I was out (drab) dining with a group containing GG's many of whom were over 70. All were dressed stylishly in dresses and not too high heels, all looked attractive and certainly not like a bunch of dowdy pensioners. In fact when I first saw one of them it was from behind and not recognising them I wondered who the young lady was joining our group. She was 75 years young.

[RADER]

I do not care how much make-up I use, I still look like an 72 year old extra large woman.
Cretin things can not be hidden.
Rader

[Seana Summer]

I will agree that age is just a number.

I think, as others have suggested, it depends upon where you are going as well as other factors.

Makeup, a wig and other items can take years off your presentation. If you got it, flaunt it.

Just be sure you got it!

[AngelaYVR]

This is true for most everybody. Take a bit of time with your appearance and you look younger. I’m 47 but nobody ever guesses that I’m over 37 in either boy or girl mode. Look after your skin, keep your hair looking nice and keep as trim as you can. And most definitely wear clothes that you like. I completely agree with Steffi’s 3 dressing rules, they work well.

[Teresa]

Steffi,
I'm 68 and age appropriate clothes for me are far ranging , do I dress for my age ? Very difficult question to answer , I'm often taken for at least ten years younger so how different are clothes worn by a 50 + person compared with a 60+ person ? Being out full time does mean giving this some thought but it aslo means don't be stupid or make an obvious idiot of yourself or it does for me personally . I admit I don't feel comfortable with below the knee hemlines and I don't often wear flat shoes . I might be a grandfather but I certainly don't to look like and old grandma !

[BTWimRobin]

I look like I'm in my mid 40s than my midish 50s. If I went out in public dressed I would dress to blend as a woman in her mid 40s.
I don't dress out in public so I can be any age I want and it would be appropriate.

[Tracii G]

I think make up works in our favor most of the time and takes 10 years off so why not dress 10 years younger?

[AllieSF]

I hate the phrase "Age Appropriate" because it is many times used by people who want others to dress like them and if you don't you will make me look bad too in the eyes of others. I always call BS on that statement. Be who you are, dress as you want and live with the results of your decisions and do not blame others here or the general public for your woes. Most of us have lived as males and we just learned how to live and deal with whatever issues came our way. So, having one of "us" dress in way that you do not like is just another one of those issues that we should deal with internally and not start blaming or setting guidelines for others on how they should live their lives.

Now, all that being said I really do like the way this thread is going regarding my dislikes. Thanks Steffi and others. I also am one to dress how I feel, dress like I am in my 40's, mix styles and lengths and blend very well with no real negative feedback over the last 12 years of going out into the real world. I still dress the same now that I am full time and have also changed some style choices over time, some regarding how I would look when wearing something now that has been in my closet for a long time. Goodwill is a regular recipient of my too short, too tight, and "this looks bad on me", donations.

[Tracii G]

Some feel the need to control how others do things and that is true for the CD/trans community.
I don't like the matronly old woman look on me but on some it looks just fine.
I'll be 67 in Sept and I have been told I don't look that old so why should I dress like an old person if I don't feel like one?

[Bobbi46]

Age appropriate is a perfectly app expression relating to dressing and should be applied adequatly, for example would a 70 yr old crossdresser dressed in a leather mini skirt, fishnet tights a crop top and a bright blond wig blend in? no way so why dress to stand out. I dress in what is appropriate for me, in clothes that dont shout out "here I am look at me" but clothes that are sensible in colour and style.
The last thing one wants is to be looked at because of what one is wearing and stands out in.
Another side to the coin is dressing over ones age looks it goes both ways.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I just turned 70, but then again I don't go out---and I can dress any way I want---I Do have a grey wig too and look more realistic in it, but still, I prefer my younger look.

[Micki_Finn]

Sure if you are 60 but look 30, you of course you can wear something “younger”. But there are a lot of girls who don’t seem to be aware that they LOOK like a 60-year old wearing their grandkids’ clothes.

[AllieSF]

Bobbi,

"so why dress to stand out."

Some are like you and others are like me. I liked to be noticed when I walk into a restaurant, bar or my local coffee shop. I am proud of who I am, I love myself and I do not really care so much what others may think. I dress very well and appropriate for the venue and me (my tastes), but I have also gone into the City for a night out and I wore an above the knee black leather skirt, black sheer pantyhose, black leather boots, and a form fitting V or scooped neck top (sometimes sparkly). I wanted to be noticed, looked and felt good to me and others (compliments), and had a wonderful time with no obvious strange looks nor comments (never). The only real person I want or need to please (no partner at the present - damn!) is myself, much less my friends and acquaintances and really zero for strangers.

For those of you who are less confident, by all means dress down if you need. You can still have a great time and enjoy yourself, the venue and the moment. You may eventually gain enough confidence (which is not courage, though it helps to overcome a lack of it) learn if you look good in it you can definitely find the moment to wear it and show it off, and then find that time to do it.

If I dressed my age it would probably be with high collars, high waist (not only old men hike their shorts or pants way above their bellies), loose slacks and comfortable drab shoes. That is not me on inside and I do not plan to die into old age. I am fortunate enough to be able to see that heavenly light at the end of my life's tunnel and realize that tomorrow morning is the first day to the rest of my life. I plan on living and enjoying life as best I can on my terms, not someone else's. We should all have this attitude. We would then see many sister's and brothers out there everyday doing their own things living life as it was meant to be lived.

[Micki_Finn]

Allie, there’s a difference between dressing well to stand out, and standing out because of how you’re dressed. An “above the knee” skirt and scoop-necked top wouldn’t be inappropriate for an older woman going clubbing and wanting to look sexy. A 6” micro-mini and leather bikini top would not be. Both will stand out, but for very different reasons. I think Bobbi was more addressing the latter.

[Bobbi46]

Miki__Finn, Thank you that is exactly what I was trying to illustrate.

[AllieSF]

I got that Mikki before you started typing your reply. Are you saying that it is wrong and should be prevented? My point is so what? Let the 6' micro wearing person have their own moment. They know they stand out and they like or at least accept that. Why do we have to judge here and insinuate stop it, I don't like it, it hurts me, it hurts us all? We don't have to like anything, but to make cause around here that it is wrong, when it is not? I do not understand that.

It may upset some people, but you still do your drag presentations and are proud of that, which you should be. Why should we denigrate the good feeling one has when dressing the way that they want? Leave them alone. They are not hurting anyone. We shouldn't judge and should just let others live their life. What about the people that think any man or transgender person dressing as anything but their birth sex is wrong and should stop, preferably with vert stiff laws and penalties? Who sets the rules to define what is bad or good?


It should not be controlled (should it be controlled?) except for legal laws for indecent exposure, most written with a lot of common sense behind them. Whoever is without sin cast the first stone! Beauty and ugliness is in the eye of the beholder and should not be a rule set by someone else. I fight for freedom for all even if I dislike some parts of it. I keep my mouth shut about those parts I have trouble with(unless I think that they are discriminating) because they have so little consequences for most people. I think that we all should support each other, even if there is something that may be a little different in our thinking.

[Maid_Marion]

There is a significant variation in how people age. Sun damage to the skin will make you look older. I didn't wear shorts until I was in my late 40s, and by that time I used sunscreen so my legs look really good.

A thin waist will allow you to wear younger styles. Even better is a thin waist and some exercise for toned muscles, if you want to wear short shorts and crop tops.

MtFs transitioning late in life will have very young looking boobs.

Like GGs I check out what other women wear. I quick head to scan look to take in someone's entire outfit. I just had someone smile back at me while I did a check out while walking past someone in the hallway at work.

[Tracii G]

Honestly I could wear a super short mini skirt and a crop top but I have the common sense not to.
Some things are appropriate and some are not.

[Jenny22]

When the question of age, as a male, comes up in conversation, and I reply I'm 84 (85 in 2 weeks), I generally get .. no way! Their guess is usually 65ish. When girly with wig and makeup, I think I look to be 55ish. That's quite a change! So, I dress how I feel I look, and not age appropriate. I only wear minis at home.

[Devi SM]

Steffi,
Very interesting proposal for a thread.
First of all, we all look younger with make up.
Second, age is what our spirit , personality, mind says.
When you start behaving according to your age is because you're conforming to the others opinion.
We as crossdressers or trans, start late in life our development as woman. I remember my first dresses and attires were like a teenager, then I read on the book titled Alicia in genderland, written by a psiquiatrist, I forget his name now, that we are girls teenager in our femenine mi d development.
A probe of the last is myself. I'm 60 on September ut dressed people tells me I'm on my forties, even friends that know me before my transition.
Now, I do t dress like a teenager but I identified myself and dress as a woman in her forties.
Lastly, as your wife wisely says, our biggest fears never happen.
I'm still married to the same woman after 40 years with 3 married boys, nothing that took me the sleep for years really happened and things happened completely opposite if what I thought.
Finally, we can't read minds, so who cares what people thinks when I'm in bikini on the beach if in feel great?

[alwayshave]

Steffi, dress in what ever you're comfortable in. I tend to like classic dresses which you will see on older women, so I dress age appropriate. But that's what I am comfortable in. All said, I won't be wearing a bodycon dress.

[Connie D50]

If your 60 and look between 40 and 45 and you dress like that, not sure I wouldn't call that dressing appropriately.
PS based on your rules not sure there is a big difference in a way a nicely dress 60 year old and a nice dressed 40.

[Sherrii]

Many years ago in the "Playboy Interview" Clint Eastwood said, "A lot of people are old before their time because they think old". I have always remembered that and tried to apply it to my life. Am 70 now. As for dressing, dress how you like. I like to look younger than my age so I do. Also in male mode I look younger than my age partly because of luck and partly because I have been active and plan to stay active as long as I can. Sherrii

[Micki_Finn]

Allie, if you just want to throw out any standards of fashion and good taste, then yeah sure wear whatever you want. But most girls here want to dress in a way that they can go out in public and NOT be humiliated and mocked, and that’s who I’m addressing. I’m not telling you that you can’t wear what you like, I’m saying there are societally accepted standards that will keep you from getting laughed at, but if you’re an exhibitionism fetishist, or a cultural anarchist, then that’s your thing.

[Stephanie47]

Your stated age is 66 years old. Just look around on the street at women who are your approximate age. What are those women wearing? Are 66 year old grandmothers dressing like their 16 year old granddaughters? Probably not. If they are what sort of looks or comments are they getting from the people around them? From what I have observed they are usually not well received. In your question/thread you already set up some standards which reflect "age appropriateness." What men and women wear at any age and also to any function usually is dictated in some way by societal norms and expectations.

[AngelaYVR]

Why do these discussions always devolve into us versus them, the ‘enlightened’ vs the micro mini wearing freak show. I have never, ever seen a CD out during the day dressed like a teenager. Every single time a thread like this raises its perfectly blended head above water, we get the “I dress like the women around me” crowd setting up straw men.

As far as I’m concerned:
- creativity is good
- you can be appropriate and not dress like everyone else
- dress as you look. Look 30? Dress like you’re 30
- people hate being being outdone. Sometimes you get flak simply for looking nice when everyone else is in jeans

“In a world full of trends, I want to remain a classic” - Iman

[Sometimes Steffi]

Dressing appropriately kind of applies to everyone.

One time on business in Minneapolis, I was walking in the mall of America. There was a teenaged GG who was wearing the shortest micro mini that I'd ever seen. It was about 4 inches shorter than "daisy duke" shorts, and barely covered her butt. She would walk about 10 steps and then tug the back of the skirt down again.

I'm kind of embarrassed about this now, but I followed about 20 feet behind her. If she was going to put on a show in public, why shouldn't I be able to watch it.

After a while, on an older woman walked up to her and appeared to chastise her for her inappropriate outfit. I couldn't hear the conversation, but this it what I gathered from the body language.

[Cheshire girl]

I agree you can look great dressing a little under your real age but not too much. It’s so sad to see a couple of guys in my town going out trying to look like dolly birds when they are old men. People giggle and stare. I hate to see that. One of them wears mini skirts and stilettos. If he toned it down and got a decent wig he’d look ok. I’m super careful to dress tastefully and take all the advice that’s offered by my wife and friends who I go out with dressed. My lady friends say I’m just one of them when we go out. If I turned up in a short skirt trying to look too young they wouldn’t go out with me. I really love buying slightly more mature ladies outfits and blending in.

[Micki_Finn]

- you can be appropriate and not dress like everyone else

Isn’t this the thrust of this entire thread? What is “appropriate”?

[AngelaYVR]

I’m glad you asked that, Micki. Appropriate is one of those ethereal things that [most] people just know but can’t be quantified very easily. It shifts. But do most people agree that Outfit X is ok? Of course, over time inappropriate things can attain that vaunted switch over to acceptable (ie, form fitting yoga pants as daily wear). However, I do believe there is a chasm between appropriate and tasteful. Most clothing these days fulfills the former while failing miserably at the latter. In my humble opinion, of course. Ok, not so humble.

[Micki_Finn]

I wouldn’t say that the clothing fails at being tasteful. I would say that it’s more common for people to fail at wearing clothes tastefully.

[MsEva]

I started to wear new hair in my natural color (white, couldn't you just die?). I think it looks more natural with the Paula Wig "angel hair" colored wig than my normal red.

[ReineD]

When a mature woman wears clothes worn by younger women (there is no such thing as 10-15 years difference in clothing styles ... it goes by generation), I think she looks rather desperate ... as if she has not come to terms with who she is.

There's no difference between 60 and 50. Or 50 and 40. Or 40 and 30 etc. But there's a huge difference between 60 and 30. Or 50 and 20.

Like it or not, there is a time and age for everything:

https://i2.wp.com/www.danceshistoricalmiscellany.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Life-and-Age-of-Woman2.jpg?w=770&ssl=1 (https://i2.wp.com/www.danceshistoricalmiscellany.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Life-and-Age-of-Woman2.jpg?w=770&ssl=1)

Women in their younger years, who have visibly younger bodies and faces, are in the attracting-a-mate and wanting-to-make-babies part of their lives. And their style of dress reflects this. Mature women, well past that stage, look rather desperate when they attempt to dress the same way. IMO

[Bea_]

There are many here on the forum who are in their fifties, sixties and beyond. I look around in the real world and see a fair number of genetic women in our age group who dress age appropriately, but are not particularly "feminine" or stylish. Those who are more feminine and stylish often wear things that would often/usually be worn by younger women. Age appropriateness as a test of style seems no more legitimate than 'gender' appropriateness for a crossdresser.

The things I tend to choose for myself are generally simple and less dramatic than what others might wear. But, many of the things that catch my eye are from the juniors department. I'm not trying to impress or attract others so appropriateness is not something I concern myself with other than to suit my wife's comfort level.

[Frannie7]

Interesting thread. There are certain items I buy with no intention of wearing them out. (not as much anymore) I would hope that what I am wearing looks suitable for the age I appear to be. (I'll be posting some more soon so I'll ask opinions) If I had the chance to wear some of the clothes I want to when I was younger maybe I would feel a bit different. Its like condensing 30 years of dressing into 10. I hope that makes sense. I just wish I had opportunities to wear some of the dresses I have, out. It's very difficult to find occasions and time to get away for that.

[Sometimes Steffi]

All these posts remind me about a description of pornography: "I can't define it, but I know when I see it."

Maybe a similar definition applies to (non) age appropriate.

[ReineD]

There are many here on the forum who are in their fifties, sixties and beyond. I look around in the real world and see a fair number of genetic women in our age group who dress age appropriately, but are not particularly "feminine" or stylish. Those who are more feminine and stylish often wear things that would often/usually be worn by younger women.

I think we may need more accurate descriptions, preferably with pictures. A dress is feminine or stylish. And yes, both older and younger women can wear dresses. But there's a difference between body-hugging, short dresses that a younger woman might wear, and a slightly looser, longer, more skin covering but still stylish and feminine dress that an older woman might wear.

Look at the difference between these age groups:

Dresses for younger women:
https://sc01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1AA8mHFXXXXagXXXXq6xXFXXXb/222141449/HTB1AA8mHFXXXXagXXXXq6xXFXXXb.jpg
https://www.lulus.com/images/product/xlarge/2769472_544812.jpg?w=560

Dresses for older women:
https://www.outfittrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Evening-Dresses-Older-Women.jpg
https://24myfashion.com/2016/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/wpid-summer-dresses-for-older-women-2016-2017-9.jpg


And here's a woman in her 70s wearing a skirt (or is it loose pants - I can't tell but it doesn't matter), who is also feminine and fashionable! And she's not trying to look 20. :) I don't think I'm allowed more than 5 links per page, so you'll have to copy and paste this in a browser window:

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/03/19/arisethcohen_009_custom-7463a651ce088095479b8badbea723ab8f44690a-s800-c85.jpg

[AngelaYVR]

There's no difference between 60 and 50. Or 50 and 40. Or 40 and 30 etc. But there's a huge difference between 60 and 30. Or 50 and 20

By that logic, you just unintentionally summarized that there is indeed no difference between 60 and 30! :D

But let’s be honest, age is just a piece of the puzzle. Body shape plays a massive role. And I would even go so far as to suggest that attractiveness does, too: I’ve listened to a group of women eviscerate a beautifully dressed but otherwise plain woman. How dare she wear those clothes with that face!

Ultimately, we’re all just thrusting our opinions on each other here and I can’t see any consensus. My contention is that if you can wear it well then absolutely do it. “Well” being decided by the wearer, naturally. Will we see the occasional mutton dressed as lamb scenario? Most likely. Will it ruin your life? I’m rather doubtful.

[Teresa]

Angela,
Maybe to put Reine's words in more blunt terms , do you really want to spend that much money to look that stupid ??

There is another side to Reine's comments , on occasions I wonder if a young girl might want to be a little older and more mature to wear some of the clothes she would be be called names for by her friends . There are some beatiful clothes to suit all ages the real art is making the right choice , style is far more important .

[HollyGreene]

I've always been fortunate enough to look younger than my years.
With makeup and a wig on, I can look a few years younger again, so I can dress to the age that I appear to be and get away with it. I certainly wouldn't wear (in public) what very young women wear, because I don't think it would work.
So age appropriate really means appropriate to the age you are perceived to be.

[CynthiaD]

Usually I dress my age -- sort of. But sometimes I'll see something like a cute miniskirt or a metallic gold clubbing dress and think "Why not?"

[Bea_]

I think we may need more accurate descriptions, preferably with pictures. A dress is feminine or stylish. And yes, both older and younger women can wear dresses. But there's a difference between body-hugging, short dresses that a younger woman might wear, and a slightly looser, longer, more skin covering but still stylish and feminine dress that an older woman might wear.

Look at the difference between these age groups:

Dresses for younger women:
https://sc01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1AA8mHFXXXXagXXXXq6xXFXXXb/222141449/HTB1AA8mHFXXXXagXXXXq6xXFXXXb.jpg
https://www.lulus.com/images/product/xlarge/2769472_544812.jpg?w=560

Dresses for older women:
https://www.outfittrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Evening-Dresses-Older-Women.jpg
https://24myfashion.com/2016/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/wpid-summer-dresses-for-older-women-2016-2017-9.jpg


And here's a woman in her 70s wearing a skirt (or is it loose pants - I can't tell but it doesn't matter), who is also feminine and fashionable! And she's not trying to look 20. :) I don't think I'm allowed more than 5 links per page, so you'll have to copy and paste this in a browser window:

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/03/19/arisethcohen_009_custom-7463a651ce088095479b8badbea723ab8f44690a-s800-c85.jpg

I'd agree that dresses are feminine for the most part, but not necessarily stylish. But, I think body appropriate and venue appropriate are much better tests for choosing an outfit than age. I could see a fifty something woman with a nice figure wearing the fitted dress in the first younger woman pic, but not necessarily the second, but that's just my taste and not a statement of appropriateness. I would wear neither of the dresses for body appropriateness reasons.

The pics of the older women's styles would are not things I'd ever choose. They are definitely age appropriate, but my style is more casual, simple and clean. Again, not an age thing but a taste thing.

The last outfit of the older lady is stylish and I might consider if it fit right. But, I think it would be appropriate for a younger woman too.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Steffi :hugs:, Age is only a number, It lets them know many candles to put on your Birthday cake.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid .oo:daydreaming:oo.

[Maid_Marion]

"Age appropriate" totally ignores the fact that both men and women still have sexual relationships when they are old. So yes, old people can wear sexy clothes. For exactly the same reasons as young people!
People biologically faster and live longer than ever before, which means that we can have several LTRs in our lifetime. If you are 60 and live to 85 that is 25 years!

Some CDs dress like hookers and porn stars and wear those clothes where they should not. This creates a bad image of CDs.

There is difference in clothing for different age groups. Clothes for older gals tend to have ruffles and other embellishments to distract the eye to hide the ravages of time.
Not needed if you have firm, flawless skin. How well you have taken care of yourself will make a big difference in how you look. Some old people look very young while some young people look old.
Too much time on the beach can be very hard on the skin, making people look old even though their diet and exercise has been excellent.

[Sabrina133]

Stefi, i completely agree. Wear what makes you feel good and look good. Why, if you can still pull it of, should you deny yourself the opportunity to look sexy? Both my wife's and my attitude is that it is more important to wear something that is appropriate for the occasion. Last night, my wife and I went to dinner with friends at a well known italian restaurant in Kansas CIty. I wore leather leggings and a silk peasant blouse and heels. She wore tight jeans and a sweater - yes, it was actually very mild in KC. It matched what most people were wearing. It would have been inappropriate to wear long formal gowns. If we are partying in what we call the Power and LIght district or westport, I might actually consider wearing flashier...you just have to consider the locale and event.

Its kind of interesting because a few years ago, i asked the same question here - my wife were out and about and i saw a young person on the street wearing a corset (it was in the Crossroads district, near the old Hamburger Mary's location), fishnets etc. So I posted the question - was it really appropriate? It was not Pride Week - simply about 2PM on a saturday afternoon in Mid-Town Kansas City. So many here thought my question was inappropriate answering - people should be able to wear what they want when they want. Just find it interesting.

XO
Bree

[Jean. Ann]

I saw a GG probably in her sevenths or beyond
In Mc Donald's just Now wearing
The things a young woman would choose
Cuffed denim shorts flowery t shirt
Cute Sandals and a big smile . She absolutely rocked
the look !
I feel
we all should feel free to do the same .
I do not dress my gender
so why dress my age


JAS

[Micki_Finn]

Stefi, i completely agree. Wear what makes you feel good and look good.

But who decides what “looks good?”

[susan54]

I think if we were intimidated y what was appropriate we wouldn't dress at all in clothes that are not gender-appropriate, but we do. The reality is that if we dress too young the public will criticise us more for this than being gender-inappropriate, so it is significant. It depends o whether or not YOU think that matters. I am fortunate in looking much younger than my years when I wear a wig and make-up but I always dress in classy clothes. Yes, sometimes the skirts are short because I have the legs for it, but you can do this as part of a classy outfit. I have been professionally styled and had my colours done so I know how to do it. If a man in a dress looks good, he is already getting away with it - and the outfit is as important as the body language. Age is important but not critical - it depends on why YOU are presenting yourself how you are. THAT is critical. But it is a case of your feelings versus reactions - whatever rocks your boat.

[suchacutie]

Doesn't it depend on what statement you are trying to make, and where you are making it. Take me for example: no one is going to mistake me for a teenager, in any gender, so if i go out in public, again in either gender, I'm going to get some odd looks, at least. If I go out attempting to look like I'm 90, I'm going to get ignored completely, unless I wander into a nightclub populated by 20-somethings. These scenarios can go on and on, so if one's goal is to stand out, there are any number of ways to do that. If one's goal is to blend into the general population, it's going to take a little thought about type of clothes, makeup, and hair. It still leaves a wide range of possibilities, but necessarily fewer. If your goal is to stand out, that leads to a different set of clothes, makeup, and hair. And if one is staying in...anything is possible!

It is all in the goal!

[Bobbi46]

It's also being individualistic and dressing in something one feels good in, so many times one sees a woman wearing something and the imediate thought which comes to mind is "that looks all wrong" but the person concerned is happy with how she looks.

[abbiedrake]

This is entirely subjective. One, laws aside anyone should be free to wear what they want. Two, plenty of people rock looks that aren't their age, young and old. It's more about how you wear something, than what it is. Three, it's a little hilarious to even be discussing it on a CDing site when many of the public would think we shouldn't dress as we choose. 🤷*♀️

[AllieSF]

Abbie, you hit the nail on the head. I totally agree with this "anyone should be free to wear what they want." My only comment would be that they do it legally, wherever they are. Now, I and no one else has to like what they wear. We don't have to associate with them and may laugh under our breath about them. The outliers when it comes to presentation are well aware that they attract attention and may get negative comments. They get to live with their own decisions and learn, if they are trying, to do it better, or not. However, it is not for me or anyone else to say that they "should" dress according to our own beliefs.

When "we" start to say that is wrong and shouldn't happen (they should not dress that way), on what are we basing it on and on what right do we use to justify that the other is wrong? Micki said it well when trying to determine what is or is not acceptable when she said, "But who decides what “looks good?”

I personally dress everyday, to be me. I dress just like most others dress that I see and interact everyday at the coffee shop, supermarket, mall, dinner, out or whatever. I use the laws to protect me from verbal and physical abuse to dress as I please. I believe that I and no one else has the right to dictate what others wear. If you do not like it, ignore it. That sounds better and is much better than trying to control, by peer pressure or whatever, how someone should fit the mold as we may have constructed it.

My continued resistance to threads like this is because this site is a support site to all, from panty wearers, sissy dresser, drags queens and wanna be queens to those that just want to be in whatever presentation they deem correct for themselves. We should support all as best we can and ignore those that are outside our self created norms of correctness. I have been out thousands of times in the suburbs and large city centers. I so rarely seen people who dressed so far out there to cause me to remember what I even saw. They are rare and these types of conversations are really not even necessary.

It may be fun for some to discuss and debate, but it really is flogging the dead horse. Support of others is much better for all rather than criticizing them on a support site.

Another Abbieism: "Three, it's a little hilarious to even be discussing it on a CDing site when many of the public would think we shouldn't dress as we choose. 🤷*♀️".

[AngelaYVR]

You've summed it up well, Allie. The self appointed fashion police were really getting on my nerves. We all have our opinions about many things, including how people dress, but for one man in women's clothing to be telling another why they are doing it wrong is just ridiculous.

[ReineD]

One, laws aside anyone should be free to wear what they want.

I agree, this sounds nice. But let’s just go a little deeper. Why do we choose what we choose? I can think of two fundamental motives. One, to please ourselves. Or two, to be accepted by others, which means having certain goals in mind and wearing things that will accomplish those goals, all while letting others know who we are.

I’m guessing that members in this forum dress primarily to please themselves. I don't. If I wanted to please myself, I wouldn't wear anything ever. lol. But seriously, I choose my clothes primarily based on what is appropriate for the venue and my goals, combined with my personal sense of aesthetics - colors, good design, balance, and sometimes artistry (i.e. a beautifully woven scarf, hand hammered silver loop earrings, etc).

Back to wearing things appropriate for the venue: in very general terms it's swim suits or shorts at the beach, gym wear at the gym, office wear at work, fancy dress at gala events, jeans and Tshirts while doing errands, hanging out casually with friends or at home.

But to break it down further - I know that within each of these categories, the style of clothing I choose imparts a distinct message. I am aware of these messages and I use this knowledge to my advantage so that I may accomplish my goals. Examples: At the beach, I could wear thongs and a top that barely covers my nipples, but I choose to wear a one-piece or a regular two-piece. I want to be able to swim without worrying that my bathing suit will fall off. I also don’t want to give the message that my body is available to all and sunder. At work, I could wear short minis, body hugging tops and high heels, but I choose to not distract from what I want to accomplish (I want the men I deal with to focus on what I am saying and not my boobs or legs) and so the focus there is NOT on showing off my body. I want to look professional and be accepted as such and so I dress the part. The same principle applies to gala events (do I want to look like a hooker or do I want to be stylish). As to hanging out with friends or doing errands on weekends, I could wear see-through tops, shorts so short to leave nothing to the imagination, even the fashionable torn-jeans with the tears in suggestive places, or I can just be comfortable and wear not-too-tight jeans and tops that don’t show off my nipples and every curve of my breasts.

There are two messages given by my examples above. Suggestive-wear implies "I am available sexually". Non-suggestive wear implies "My focus is on enjoying the activity at hand. Sex is nice but it is not my primary focus." That said, if I want to focus on my sexuality with a potential partner, then I will wear something that pleases a man. But frankly, I don’t do this every day in every place I go to. And I certainly don’t do this at work.

To break choices down even further, we can discuss appropriate dress for different age groups. Little girls can look cute in flouncy, frilly, short, pink dresses and pinafores with bobby socks. This looks ridiculous on a full grown woman. The same holds true for sexually suggestive clothes that look good on young women who have young bodies with faces to match and who are in the market for a mate ... but even those young girls don't wear club wear to work. On an older woman? It looks as if she is trying too hard to recapture her youth when there are plenty of attractive clothing choices for all ages. And this is sad. Most people grow in experience and maturity along with their years and it's sad to see someone in our age group who hasn't done so. It's kinda like knowing a 50 yr old friend who still keeps reliving his old high school glory days every chance he gets. It gets old. Anyway, for clothes the rule of thumb is the older you are, the more skin you cover. This applies to both men and women.

If middle-aged or older crossdressers care about how they are perceived by others (and I suspect the majority of our members who go out in public DO care how they are perceived), then they need to become aware of the subtle and not-so-subtle messages imparted by clothes. Most GGs are well aware of all these messages. If CDers don’t care at all what others think of them, then by all means they should continue to dress just for themselves. And it goes without saying that if they only dress at home they can wear what they want.




I saw a GG probably in her sevenths or beyond
In Mc Donald's just Now wearing
The things a young woman would choose
Cuffed denim shorts flowery t shirt
Cute Sandals and a big smile . She absolutely rocked
the look !

Old ladies have always worn flowery fabrics. My grandmother wore a lot of cotton dresses and most of them had floral patterns. But, how did that 70 year-old's legs look. lol. Really. Were her shorts like Daisy Mae's (https://ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com/2019/04/daisy-mae.jpg)or were they long shorts? :) And there is no age limit for sandals ... unless a 70 yr-old has bunions and cracked heels, in which case I'd wear ballet flats.

It's like the young guys whose shorts ride well below their underwear and they bend over. You don't mind seeing the butt crack on a young guy, but on a middle-aged guy who has some weight on? No thank you. lol

[abbiedrake]

Reine, you use the word 'appropriate' repeatedly, and it is central to the question and the debate. But it's also problematic because 'appropriate' is just another way of saying 'stick to the social contract'.


I don't doubt that you and many others see this as simply axiomatic. Common sense. But it's not. It's programmed. Much of it is born out of the biological imperatives that drive us, first amongst them procreation. And so old bodies, past reproductive age, are on the scrap heap. So far so animal. But surely we've evolved enough to be able to live differently.


Resisting such impulses has underpinned feminism since the 2nd wave more than half a century ago. That such efforts have largely smashed against the rocks of the beauty industry, for example, is not so much because of entrenched patriarchy so much as our animal drives lead us to the same behaviours time and time again. That men still, lamentably, dominate business etc is because acquisition attracts mates. And we show little willingness to change.


But if you do have the courage to reject that, and if enough do it, then things could be radically different. A bathing suit to the opera? Why not? Dressing in a sexual way to the office? Yeah, it could happen. You're, in the damned office so the men should know better. It's the behaviour that's less appropriate than the clothes.


If only we were sufficiently prepared to change how we communicate. We're so damned lazy. We wear clothing that conveys meaning, semiotics, because it's shorthand. As you mention, you can choose your attire to signal your receptiveness to mating. 0But dammit how it this different to the splayed plumage of a peacock? Are you telling me that with the myriad complexities of human communication we still have to rely primarily, even solely, on how we look??!


I know I'm banging my head against the wall, because too few of us make the effort to see the roots of why we do what we do or to think of how things might be different. And that latter is another essay entirely.


In the meantime, all power to the outliers, to those who, through the ages, have bucked the trend. They've typically suffered for it, but without those acts of rebellion there'd be no hope for greater freedoms. Race rights, women's rights, gay rights, trans right. These all came AFTER people broke the social contract and simply refused to be broken by the weight of the mainstream.


The biggest lesson is perhaps that Civilisation hasn't collapsed as has been predicted as each of those group has won greater freedoms and equality. It simple has not.


I'd suggest the same is true of people who don't dress 'age appropriately'.

PS. Reine, I know I addressed this reply to you, but I certainly didn't intend to single you out in any way. We're all bound up in these norms, to varying degrees. I hope you understand. And I'm case not, I apologise for any offence.

[CarlaWestin]

Well, I'm a genetic male with no yearning to transition so, uncategorically, appropriate would be considered traditionally male attire. When I crossdress, age appropriate is just one of the many experiences that I enjoy.
Actually, the subdued uber-passable look is just another activity.
I live in a resort town that has west coast influences. Daily, I see the proverbial Malibu Barbie in her seventies with all the elements of that ageless beach girl (blonde, augmented attributes, etc...) and it just doesn't look age appropriate. But, her happiness is!

Age appropriate? Too much leg? Too endowed? Maybe too happy. And, I've gone out for the day in both of these outfits.

306871 306872

[MonicaPVD]

I believe that there is no age appropriate look but rather, you have to ask yourself how much attention are you looking to attract in the setting you find yourself? If I'm older and go out in the middle of the day wearing a tight bandage dress or sensual outfits that are common on younger women, I will draw greater attention. That may be your goal. If I just want to blend into the crowd, then maybe I should wear what women my age wear in that particular context.

[Ameli]

For me, I think it’s great to show off your assets a little. But the key is just a little - I think keep it to one asset at a time. It’s fine to have a dress that is skin tight, or really short, or sheer, or showing cleavage. Just not all of these.

[Maid_Marion]

What is appropriate for work? Most of us will pick one of the two binary options, as those are much easier than sticking out someone who is obviously non binary.
But, some of us can and do pick the third option. I've never blended in at work, so I've been able to do that.
These days I can teach a new hire new stuff and do his work at lightning speed at the same time! :)

[Aunt Kelly]

I believe that there is no age approprlook... ...If I just want to blend into the crowd, then maybe I should wear what women my age wear in that particular context.
Wearing what women your age would wear is kinda the definition of the age appropriate look.
If you, or anyone for that matter, wants to dress like someone 30 years their junior, or like a hooker, cheerleader or French maid, feel free. Just be intellectually honest enough to acknowledge the effect it will have.

[ReineD]

Reine, I know I addressed this reply to you, but I certainly didn't intend to single you out in any way. We're all bound up in these norms, to varying degrees. I hope you understand. And I'm case not, I apologise for any offence.

No apology necessary. I enjoy a good discussion. :)


Resisting such impulses has underpinned feminism since the 2nd wave more than half a century ago.

Until the 3rd wave feminists, who actually embraced sexual liberation! Seriously I lived my life as a 3rd wave feminist while the 3rd wave authors were still children! But look at how the 3rd wave dresses:

Amy Richards and Jennifer Baumgardner - Then (http://boemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Baumgardner-Jennifer-+-Amy-Richards-c-Ali-Price-2009.jpg)| and Amy now (https://miro.medium.com/max/3150/1*LITVlhd2Zz67EPPxDDaV2w.jpeg), Jennifer now (https://www.soapboxinc.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/20171221_JB_073small.jpg)

They don’t dress in a sexually provocative manner, keeping in mind these women champion sexual liberation. And do you know why? Because as GGs, they KNOW the messages that clothing choices impart. We GGs are equal to men, we’re sexually liberated, we own our orgasms, we won't put up with being sl*t or b*tch shamed - but it doesn’t mean we need to send out the message that we are sexually available to everyone. And as older women, we don’t feel the need to relive our younger years. We’ve got nothing to prove! Does this make any sense at all?


A bathing suit to the opera? Why not? Dressing in a sexual way to the office? Yeah, it could happen. You're, in the damned office so the men should know better. It's the behaviour that's less appropriate than the clothes.

This may be well and good for some crossdressers, but no thank you. I don’t wish to make myself the center of attention in that way. I prefer to contribute through my other qualities.


Are you telling me that with the myriad complexities of human communication we still have to rely primarily, even solely, on how we look??!

Of course not. I choose to shine through my actions, my brain, my personality. My looks are of secondary importance. Still not to ignore biology, if I set out to attract or be sexual with a man who will hopefully already have been intrigued by the aforementioned qualities, I won’t dress in an armor suit. :D


In the meantime, all power to the outliers, to those who, through the ages, have bucked the trend. They've typically suffered for it, but without those acts of rebellion there'd be no hope for greater freedoms. Race rights, women's rights, gay rights, trans right. These all came AFTER people broke the social contract and simply refused to be broken by the weight of the mainstream.

I’m all in favor of breaking the social contract to stop any repression. Hooray for women’s, race, gay and trans rights. The next big one will be domestic and global economic inequality. But I don’t need to dress suggestively to do so. My sexuality is private. And it doesn’t rule me.

[Helen_Highwater]

The other day while out driving I passed a GG who I would place in her sixties or older. Hair was up in a loose bun, full makeup, well fitting knitted mustard coloured two piece with below the knee pencil skirt and blue high heels.

Why she was dressed that way a 09:00 on a weekday morning in the suburbs is open to speculation.

If all she was doing was nipping down to the shops then she was definitely over dressed but if shortly off to a function then she cetainly had the figure to carry off the outfit and wouldn't have looked out of place.

If you like the package worked. She have a lovely figure and a face free of the signs of life if I may put it that way. She was equipped to carry off a style more usually associated with a younger woman. And isn't that one of the considerations pertinent to this debate. The same outfit on a GG of the same age who'd say let things slide somewhat wouldn't have looked anywhere near as good. In fact it would make the wearer look like they were trying to live reviving former glories. Searching for a former self.

Age appropriate also encompasses physique aporopriate. Now I know some will say wear what you like and be dammed. If you like it carry on and I have some sympathy with that, if you're a GG.

We however aren't. If you have no qualms about standing out in a crowd, fill your boots, carry on. If however you're like me who wants to blend into said crowd then I'll continue to try to wear things suited to my shape and age. I can't pass as a woman, certainly not a teenaged woman. What I can do is merge into the background by presenting as a woman of my age. That's my plan.