Relatives hate crossdressing, except when they love it

[hosekid]

Just seeing if anyone else has noticed people like this.

My wife's sister and her husband HATE, and I do mean hate crossdressing. They think that it is wrong and immoral. That is, until they want to watch Ms. Doubtfire, or attend a womanless beauty pageant, or anything else that they find enjoyable that involves a crossdresser. Somehow, their moral beliefs allow them to be openly accepting of crossdressing as long as its for reasons they agree with, but bash it if it is not something that entertains them.

[Micki_Finn]

It’s not uncommon. It’s because those sorts of things “aren’t really” crossdressing (according to them). They’re for entertainment purposes only. This is not unique to them and has been a larger feature of society for years. Think about Tootsie or Monty Python or Some Like it Hot or go back even further to Elizabethan England where Shakespeare had men playing all the female roles. Crossdressing for entertainment has almost always been considered “something else”. These people are crossdressing with a purpose, not “just because they want to”.

[docrobbysherry]

Think of drag queens and kabuki dancers. They dress on stage to entertain for fun!:daydreaming:

But, they don't dress that way for Denny's or Walmart!:brolleyes:

[alwayshave]

I'm sure they don't hate Tom Hanks for crossdressing in Bosom Buddies either. Everyone has something they're hypocritical about.

[NancySue]

Totally agree...another society hypocrisy..i.e. Rocky Horror Picture Show and many others mentioned. Shakespeare once said, “thou protestest too much”. My guess is the loudest complainers have either secretly dressed or want to. I ask...why would one so enjoy seeing something they “abhor”. Doesn’t make sense. I’ve always suspected there are a lot more of us out there. Who buys pantyhose, thigh high, nylons? Not most women. I have guy friends who wear pantyhose...when outdoor activities or fishing, or to just keep warm...which is “OK?” Several wives have suggested this. I know once I wore my first pair of hose...I was hooked. Could it be true in other experiences? I think so.

[Stephanie47]

Your sister-in-law and her husband need to be educated. Ask them what is "wrong" or "immoral." I won't go any further less I break some rule.

[Leslie Langford]

All of the above. It generally boils down to NIMBY..."Not In My Backyard".

[LilSissyStevie]

There is no inconsistency or hypocrisy. CDing is OK for entertainment but not for identity or fetish reasons. Hypocrisy would be when they disapprove of CDing but did it themselves. At worst they are haters. So what? You have a right to CD and they have a right to hate it as long as they don't interfere with your rights. But I doubt they waste a lot of time hating on CDers. There are more important things to hate if you are so inclined.

[Taylor186]

I generally agree with Miki. Crossdressing for entertainment has found wide acceptance while crossdressers who are innately driven to it, like most of us here, are considered defective in some way. Let's face it, the Psychological Community perpetuated this thinking until their enlightenment in the last few years.

[sarah_hillcrest]

Yeah hosekid, I mean I get where you are coming from, it boils down to a man in a dress, but it's not really that simple. Why the man is wearing the dress is what really matters. For instance at a local church they always held a mother daughter banquet and usually a group of church men would put on some kind of funny skit for entertainment. One year they all cross dressed and did some kind of song and dance routine. It was apparently a big hit. Totally appropriate since it was done in jest and for the ladies.

These same good Christians will loudly proclaim gays and trans are going to hell, and claim that we are being driven to sin by demons for wanting to wear the exact same thing they were wearing.

[suzanne]

Sounds like everyday, run of the mill hypocrisy. Judge something when it doesn't suit your world view, turn a blind ear when convenient. The good -ish news is that if really has nothing to do with crossdressing. Your family is just a bunch of crass holes.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I've found that people whose "moral meter" is set too high generally have something going on in their lives that would not meet their own moral test.

[Samantha2015]

Agree 100% Kelly !!!

[Joyce Swindell]

Sounds like to me that you need to get involved in an a womanless pageant or some other acceptable situation... just for fun or acceptance.

[Tracii G]

So true Kelly.

[NoraTV]

As others have said, there are multiple layers to this. Part of the fun in watching crossdressing is wondering what it would be like, if only for a few moments. This doesn't get into the second layer, which is the expression of who a person is. I can't really judge them until they've walked a mile in my heels.

[kimdl93]

I’m not sure that watching caricatures of cross dressing such as Ms Doubtfire is acceptance of cross dressing. And womanless beauty pageants, when you think about it, could be construed as the gender-identity equivalent of a minstrel show. (That’s a bit harsh, but watching RuPaul doesn’t make a person supportive)

[ReineD]

It's called NIMBY. Not In My Back Yard. It's fine for everyone else, unless it's too close to home. Not unlike people slowing down to catch a glimpse of a traffic accident even though they'd feel aggrieved if it happened to them or their friends and family. People do experience a perverse pleasure in looking at misfortunes or the unusual.

With Mrs Doubtfire, they know it's a movie and Robin Williams was not a CDer. Same with drag shows. It's just a show.

[Meghan4now]

Wow so good to see Reine post! Absolutely love you!

Anyway, I really think it comes down to sex and conformity. Unfortunately, I belive the biggest objection to crossdressing is that a large portion of the population thinks it is all about sex, pervy, gay, unsafe, dangerous, icky sex. And internet porn doesn't help.

Why should this matter to the average Joe? Because in their unconscious mind, deviation from conformity is bad and dangerous, regardless of facts. To them, an uncontrollable person is as dangerous as a wild fire. And uncontrolled sexual behavior is a danger to the children and weak women, as well as an indicator of lack of self discipline and all those stoic characteristics that a perfect man MUST display.

But in the case of entertainment, since you "know" the man has a noble reason, it's ok, or even funny. Because you "know" he isn't a sicko!

Or something like that.

[Sheren Kelly]

Drag can usually be considered as "camp", satirizing the gender norm.
When one is Transgender, that becomes a threat to the norm and that makes people uneasy.
Its all fun and games, until it is a serious issue (i.e. you demand respect).

[Stephanie47]

When a person goes to the movies to see Mrs. Doubtfire and Tootsie or watching Cpl Klinger on M*A*S*H* they know it is a comedy with the no identity issues. I wonder how those persons view movies which deal with identity issues. Unfortunately, people are resistant to being educated on identity issues.

[Ineke Vashon]

It might be interesting to show some of these people two movies, Mrs. Doubtfire and then The Danish Girl. And then have them comment on both. Could be interesting.

Ineke

[abbiedrake]

This thread has now intersected quite neatly with another elsewhere.

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?266391-Disturbing-the-peace

In which we're discussing the portrayal of trans people on screen. I included a list of movies that feature trans people, CDs, NBs, and variants therein.

There might be more positive depictions than you would expect.

It's interesting to note however, how many of the movies are not in English, suggesting that anglophone countries may possibly be lagging in progressing our attitudes to trans people.