Supermarket Saturdaze

[MonicaPVD]

This past Saturday morning I decided that I would spend the day as Monica, having no commitments scheduled. After some shopping in a nearby town, I called a friend who is an occasional partner in crime when going out dressed. Turns out she was in a nearby market food court having lunch. We agreed to meet there and soon I was sitting down to join her. We were enjoying a great conversation when, suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I saw a coworker at a nearby check out line. I have known this coworker for at least a decade and we get along very well. That said, she knows nothing about Monica. I tried to remain cool and collected despite the fact that coworker woman was about 15 feet away from our table. I tried not to look at her directly but was honestly terrified that she would either recognize me or just happen to know my friend at the table. After about two minutes that felt like an hour,.my coworker pushed her cart right past our table, nodded and smiled at us and walked out the door completely oblivious to me. Now, I am a big proponent of the theory that people are so self-absorbed that they will not notice you 9.9 out of 10 times. I have proven this theory in the past. However, I have to admit that when you're living it in real time, it is terrifying. The relief I felt afterwards was quite a rush. This morning I saw her at the office and she told me all about her fabulous weekend, none the wiser.

[abbiedrake]

What would've been the worst case scenario, Monica? Is she a big mouth? How not out are you?

[MonicaPVD]

She is a big mouth. We travel in the same social circles which is not very diverse. I am not out at all, with the exception of the friend I was with and one other person. Goi g to a supermarket at noon on Saturday was probably the boldest vanilla thing I've done to date.


What would've been the worst case scenario, Monica? Is she a big mouth? How not out are you?

[Cheryl T]

The chances of her recognizing you in full dress would be minimal unless you spoke and she recognized your voice.
I've walked right past people who have known me for decades, smiled and continued on with nary a second thought on their part.

[abbiedrake]

Bullet dodged then, Monica. Chalk it up and continue your adventures.

[Tracii G]

I have had my daughter and son in law pass withing a few feet of me and I guess they didn't make the connection because they have never said a word to me.That was 10 years ago.

[Teresa]

Monica,
Been there and lived this one !

My encounter was while in an out of town shopping centre , as I was descending the stairs to the ground floor , an old neighbour I had known for many years was heading straight towards me , she was with an older couple but we passed within a couple of feet of each other I smiled slightly and she smiled back but not out of recognition . She was also the sort to enjoy the gossip afterwards but I got away with it . Now it doesn't bother me , basically believe in yourself , the more you try and duck away the more obvious you are .

Even my sister in law who has met me several times now for coffee missed me last time because she had always seen me in trousers, she wasn't expecting me to be wearing a skirt and I stood right behind her as she was looking round for me .

[docrobbysherry]

Monica, while I go out a lot, I do not dress close to home for that reason. I also avoid vanilla venues dressed!:doh:

[JocelynJames]

Hi Monica,
I always feel like “it’s a small world “ being from New England also. Many of my coworkers I’ve worked with for 20 years. I understand your fear.

[susan54]

I have ben told as a male that I look pretty distinctive. I was out as Susan at an evening function where there were very few men. Almost all the women were dressed to the nines, and I was wearing a dress with a petticoat peeping out the bottom of the hem - don't judge me - it was way more subtle than it sounds. I was the only crossdresser there. As I had walked into the room, I had noticed a woman at the bar who looked very like a colleague, but I walked on past her and convinced myself it had not been her. Later that evening I was at the bar and a woman I had been talking to introduced me to her friend ... and it WAS the colleague. Later that evening the colleague actually grabbed me and kissed me on the cheek demanding that I and another women I had been talking to join her. I used this as an excuse to leave, but my friend decided to join her and see if she said anything. She didn't. A long while later it is clear that I got away with it. When you think about it, the female version is taller (heels), has much more hair in a different colour, features disguised with make-up, moves and talks differently, and is dressed VERY differently, leaving very few cues for recognition. You are almost certainly in the clear.

On the other hand I heard of an incident involving a male who was obsessed with dress design, but working in admin in an office. One evening, another man who worked in the same office noticed this man in a group of women, and evidently dressed as one. He decided to wind up the colleague by addressing him by name and saying he scrubbed up well (this was a long time ago - I don't think anyone I know would do such a thing nowadays) and was looking good. The only thing was - it wasn't his colleague - it really was his sister! Richly deserved egg on face.

[Leelou]

That's a fun story, Monica, thanks for sharing. While I've never had the experience of running into someone I know while out dressed, I don't worry about it. As others have mentioned, when in full fem presentation complete with wig and makeup we look completely different. The before and after thread in the pic section reminds me of that every time.

[sara66]

There was experiment several years ago were a elephant walks through a show. Almost no one noticed the elephant. People usually see only what they expect to see.
Sara

[alwayshave]

Monica, That's a great story. Just goes to show, most people are just to self concerned to notice others.

[sarah_hillcrest]

I don't think it's so much self obsessed, I think it's just really hard to tell unless you're actually looking, or you're not SUPER familar with a person.

[TheHiddenMe]

I've had three instances of being out and running into people that know the male me.

The first time I heard the voice and walked in a different direction. The second time I walked right past the person going into a shoe store (fortunately, I didn't blurt out "hi xxxx"), the third time I was walking out of a Target and the other person was walking in (in the parking lot). None of these was a problem.

A few weeks ago I was at Savers dressed and a woman (Jess) walked up to me and said I looked great, and we talked for a bit. About a week later, in guy mode, I was at Savers again and saw her. So I walked up to her and asked her if she found anything. She looked at me and I pulled out my phone and showed her my picture from the week before. The light went on. We chatted again and as a parting question I asked if she would have recognized the guy me, and she said no.

[RachelB.]

The only time I worry about being recognized is when out with my wife. I have walked past people I know and they didn't recognize me. If I am with my wife they may put two and two together and figure it out.

[Rhonda Darling]

Rachel’s wife’s fear is exactly my wife’s fear. Me, not so much. Heading into retirement, I’m not stressing over being noticed or found out.

[Zoeytgtx]

Monica:

Was out once with my sister and we were being seated in a busy restaurant on a Friday night. As we were being shown to our booth I passed one of my coworkers out for dinner with his wife. We glanced at each other as I walked by and there was no hint of recognition at all. Mentioned this to sis after we settled in and she told me when I’m dressed I look nothing like my male self especially after I have a wig on. She said my wigs completely change the framing of my face.
Same thing at my apartment complex. I have passed neighbors on the steps and sidewalk with no reaction at all.