Help...er, maybe not!

[Lana Mae]

At this stage of waiting, I was having an identity crisis! I know who I am and no two ways about it! But...Harry had to pick up prescription, and take out a loan and pay off another and deposit money in the bank! So, to ward off this identity crisis, Lana Mae(wig, forms and make up!) did what I had promised before going to Texas! I went to the Dairy Bar restaurant and had a great meal! All the time hoping not to get anything on my pretty pink blouse! The staff recognized me and were so nice! Going in two ladies looked up and smiled! One kept looking up at me but was smiling most of the time! While in line to pay my bill, one young lady glanced at me as if prompted to but only smiled! Then went shopping at Cato and was assisted by the SA but found nothing and she said the Fall things should be coming in next week! She recognized me from when in as Harry! I told her I would return next week when she was working! So yeah, I guess I do know who I am, just is not official/legal yet! Tried legal aid but got no answer! Will try again in a few days! It is frustrating but such is life! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[Teresa]

Lana,
While it's good to read life is getting better for you it's real life, no matter what pieces of paper prove otherwise they will be stuck in a drawer whereas you won't . Maybe it's better to live life as Lana and not what pieces of paper say you are , let's face it very few people will know your official status .

[Sarah Doepner]

Lana Mae, I'm not all that far behind you it seems. I'm been a little handicapped with a damaged and then surgically repaired foot this summer. That's kept me in the house a lot and I've been finding my frustration building. A couple days ago I moved into Sarah mode and haven't left yet. There is a family party on Sunday that I'll make a guy appearance for, but on Monday I'm headed to Las Vegas with my middle and youngest son and my oldest grandson who will turn 21 at midnight. They know I'm making the trip as Sarah and we are all looking forward to it. I can't put things off, I'm not going to live to be 200, so if I'm going to get time in without dysphoria coloring my world, I need to jump on it sooner rather than later. Well, I can't jump yet, the foot is still hurting, but I can cautiously hobble toward that goal. ;-)

[Allisa]

Lana I don't understand, if Harry had chores to do why couldn't Lana do them? Does your "paperwork" weigh that heavy on your identity? I can't say I completely understand your crisis as I am not on any type of hormonal treatment but if your paperwork cleared tomorrow would you be able to switch to full on Lana and put Harry to rest? I mean wouldn't you have to do that eventually? I wish you good luck in your journey and hope you can solve the paperwork snafu quickly. I only wish you the best.

[Dorit]

Lana Mae dear, I hope I can encourage you. For some of us it can be very important to have all our documents, identities, bills, etc. in our new name and correct gender. However as you well know this can take some time and effort. So please be patient, but keep pursuing the name and gender change. I know personally that it can be very gratifying and confirming to be related to by all the bureaucracies we are connected to correctly. After almost two years as Dorit and all the government name and gender changes, I just received a credit card statement in the post with my dead name! And I have called them twice in the last half year and told them about my name change.

[Richelle]

Lana Mae
Like Dorit said you just need to keep working on the name/gender change and that it can take time. My recent experience is that I have changed everything with my bank; credit cards, savings checking etc. Yet when they put a temporary hold on the credit card for possible fraud, the email was addressed to my dead name. With computers these days our dead name may reside in an old record for a long time.

So hang in there it will get better

Richelle

[Peggie Lee]

I was 6 months after I started full time as Peggie until I had my official name change, until then I had Peggie added to the signature list of my dead name bank accounts so I could sign checks and a bank card with and current picture me.

[Lana Mae]

Teresa: Well for one, I do not think anyone will give a loan to Lana Mae who has no credit history and no employment history! The prescription thing is written for Harry and Lana Mae is picking it up! It could be done but... Also can not dress at work until name changed on license! Who knows??
Sarah: Do it girl! Sounds great!
Allisa: I am doing my best to phase out Harry and bring in Lana Mae! Have been having trouble with this but have discussed it with my counselor and am working on it! I told her last time that "The 2 will become 1!" That is what I am working on and the name change would take me very far on that road!
Dorit: Yes, I know it will take quite a while as there are things you do not think of that pop up! Also there are so many interrelated things that all have to be changed! I will continue in this pursuit! It just gets frustrating at times to not be where you want to be! LOL
Richelle: Yes, I have the "skyhooks" out! LOL Sorry poor air force humor! I will patiently wait however long this is going to take!
Peggie: Sounds like a good idea! Maybe I can try that!
Ladies thanks so much for your responses!
Hugs Lana Mae(more and more!)

[Teresa]

Lana,
Maybe we're seeing some differences between the UK and the US , some things are easier but I will agree not all .

I haven't had a problem with loans and the NHS is mostly more user friendly . OK I didn't have an employment problem as I was self employed .

I'm still sorry Harry has to figure in your life as much , I appreciate how patient you are having to be , going back and forth does get increasingly harder, more so for you as you haven't retired .

My comments were based more with meeting ordinary people in the street and not officialdom .

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Funny Story

I was on my own road to transition...but living clearly as a man, working in corporate America and in my power suit!!!

A dear friend was going in for an orchiectomy and I dropped her off in the morning and drove back to pick her up in the afternoon..
she was a construction worked and was still a year away from transition

As I sat in the waiting room, the nurse came out and said 'Kaitlyn Kaitlyn... pick up for Karen'

you get the picture... I had to get up..Im Kaitlyn... and they wheeled out a bearded man.'...

in the moment it was just funny... nothing we could do... perhaps there were folks there that were in the same boat, but there were lot of people...

this stuff is just gonna happen...

after my FFS I was denied a rental car because I hadn't officially changed name or gender and had an id that didnt look like me... I can understand the problem but I found my loudly proclaiming that they were discriminating and blah blah blah... I looked like an idiot... if it was today I probably would have ended up on you tube!!!

[Lana Mae]

Teresa: I have had no problems with anyone on the street! Most of it is in my head and needs to be cleared out!
Kaitlyn: Very funny stuff! Thanks for sharing that, I needed a laugh! LOL LOL

I was called into work today! I had the whole day planned! Damn! Then...the one who had overslept came in and I just lost an hour!
I went home and dressed! I drove to Raleigh and paid a bill! I stopped at Crabtree Valley Mall at the MAC counter! I bought some make up supplies! A man tried to sell me a Wall Street Journal and called me Maam! I drove home! I had to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy! (Oh, well! I am dressed and staying that way!) I picked up the prescription without incident! I then went to Cato to shop for some clothes! They had some great boots and in my size!!! I went home and put on some knee highs and went back and tried them on! They fit! Oh yeah! I also bought a pair of black and gold striped pants and a gold blouse! Went home again! Asked my daughter what she wanted for supper and she said how about Japanese? I said sure and went to Tokyo Express and got her Japanese! I took it home to her and then went to the Dairy Bar! I came home and she needed some Total cereal and her tea! I trudged out again as Lana Mae to Wal-Mart and Food Lion! OK, I know it does not sound like much but to me it was since it was my first time: picking up a prescription for Harry as Lana Mae, first time trying on clothes in a brick and mortar store as Lana Mae, first time to Tokyo Express as Lana Mae(the lady that works there looked a little shook and called me sir), first time to Wal-Mart as Lana Mae(we have had someone discharge a firearm because the line was too slow)! So a bunch of firsts, but they are starting to get mundane lately!
So as I said the getting of the prescription was a big deal to me as that was all in my head! And I am somewhat sorry for the poor lady at Tokyo Express as I don't think she understood at all!
I think next year with my income tax return and any money saved, I will go for the name change! Wish me luck! The waiting is terrible! I so want it over and done with!
Hugs Lana Mae

[Teresa]

Lana,
Harry is more and more being delgated to his closet it's good to read how much you are integrating now . I truly don't give any of this a second thought now , tomorrow ( Saturday) I'm booked in for my flu jab at my GP's surgery. Last year was interesting as I was called for by my male name in front of a very busy waiting room , yes it did raise a few eyebrows , I corrected it straight away with the session nurse .