Age at which you came to grips

[INeedThis123]

I've been wearing women's clothing since I started wearing my sister's swim suits, then nylons, then dresses and panties around 12 or 13. With ZERO disrespect meant, I've notice I'm a minority insofar as my age. I'm heterosexual, but the past 20 years I've accumulated and spent at LEAST $20,000 on lingerie, heels.. My question? Why am I in the minority? Again, no disrespect meant, but please don't delete the post. I just feel like I'm a stranger, here, when I am really struggling with what I think is a fetish, but borderline want to be, and feel, like a gorgeous woman.

- - - Updated - - -

And wearing a not so "classy" dress and 10" platform heels, a thong, a bra, putting on make up and lipstick, and walking around the house with confidence has become somewhat of an addiction. Advice, needed. <3

[Tracii G]

Sounds like you have a fetish and like to dress like a hooker.
This site isn't your regular CD/ pron hub site.
None of this is a fetish for me and never has been.Its who I am.
None of this is sexual for me so we seem to differ in that respect.


I will say welcome and glad you found this site.
I hope some here can help you find what you are looking for.
Age is just a number so don't worry too much about that.

[char GG]

Hi INeedThis123,

I see this is your first post. You may want to tell us a little bit about yourself in Introductions.

Please take a look at the forum rules: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php

Hope you enjoy the forum.

[INeedThis123]

As I said, no disrespect meant, nor do I think this is a pornographic message board. Thought it was a place that could help me be me. Sorry.

[Tracii G]

No problem, no reason to be sorry.
We do get an occasional visitor that thinks this site is like a lot of the others that are kind of pornish.
I know you weren't being disrespectful and if we can help there are many here that would be glad to help.
I came to grips in my late 40s to answer your first question.

[docrobbysherry]

Don't get put off, Need This! I identify as a fetish dresser and there r quite a number here!:D

Not only that, there r very few dressers here or anywhere that haven't been turned on by their dressing at one time or another!:o

I would wager u r far from being in the minority on that issue here!:battingeyelashes:

[Jane G]

Welcome to the forum. This is most definitely a place that will help you understand who you are. Spend time here. Read what others have experienced. There are such I wide spectrum of CD and transgender folk who pop in and out on this site. That makes it both a place to realize there are other people very like you and that every one is different and has their own battles, hangups, predudice, tollerance, you get the picture I hope.

Stick around? Be execpting of others, who may have very different views on being a CD and you will eventually find what you seek. For me it took around 40 years before I fully understood who I am.

[Tracii G]

The one thing to remember when you think you are the only one that feels a certain way you will find that you are not the only one and there may be many that feel the same way you do.

[Di]

The one thing to remember when you think you are the only one that feels a certain way you will find that you are not the only one and there may be many that feel the same way you do.

Love that thanks Tracii G

Stick around read ( esp the rules lol sorry I’m a Admin had to say it ) and you will find like minded people.
I’m sure you will make friends and learn from each other.
How you started dressing is how many started some progress others do not . It’s not a race just be you.

[Teresa]

INeedthis...,
Please don't think you are different , I've checked your age and I can't think you are so different to many of us at that age . I agree you are spending a bucket of money at the moment , I would suggest you try and deal with that as dressing doesn't need that kind on money to enjoy it, that appears to be your addiction !

To make it clearer I may be late sixties now but it all kicked off for me when I was 8-9 years old , the T kicked in on top of a female trait and the rest is history as they say . CDing evolves ,we may be all different but the stages are similar in many cases , after all these years I'm now happily in balance and comfortable with it but it has come at a price . If I'm addicted to anything it's being out in the RW , I guess because I've found me !

[Helen_Highwater]

We're all different and the route we took into our dressing can be one only we have traveled. What we see, what pleases each of us when we look in the mirror again can differ widely and if "And wearing a not so "classy" dress and 10" platform heels, a thong, a bra, putting on make up and lipstick, and walking around the house with confidence has become somewhat of an addiction." is what floats your boat then who are we to offer criticism?

Are you looking to move on with your dressing, to dress in a way more in keeping in what average GG's wear on a daily basis? To perhaps one day take your dressing out and about into the wide world? If that's not for you then so be it but if it's something that you'd like to experience then this is definitely the place. There's much sound and considered advice to be found here.

Think about what it is you're looking to achieve and then ask away. All you'll get in honest answers.

When did I really get to grips with my dressing? Probably in my 50's having dressed in some way right from a 5 year old. Good things are worth waiting for.

[Jean 103]

First you differently are not alone.

They don't talk about sex here. So just stay away from that and you will be good.

I would guess that there are more people here like you than me.

I have a boyfriend that is a fetish dresser. He is into leather. Has no interest in going out in public, or meeting anyone else.

I'm completely the opposite. I live in the real world as Jean.

So stick around, you just might find the help you are looking for.

[Sabrina133]

Welcome to the group. As most have already said - the thing about this site is that we are all unique and, at the same time all part of the larger whole. You will find that our stories, reason for dressing, what we like and dislike is extremely varied.

Bree

[Leslie Mary S]

I most likely started when I was about nine (1952) but did not realize it fully until about 2002. I have also gone to the extreme and done a few nights as a Drag Queen performer.
I have made excursions out of my "Closet" on several occasions, this coming week end is one such trip, going out on the town for my 76th birthday.
So come on in. We all are unique, but don't feel lonely, As you stick around you will start feeling like a part of the group.

[LilSissyStevie]

The problem for a so-called fetish dresser who wonders what it's all about is that fetish sites are generally populated by people who only want to indulge their fetish fantasies and non-fetish sites are more puritanical than typical Southern Baptitsts and only want to indulge their gender fantasies. Both types of sites can be vapid in different ways but sometimes there's a glitch in the matrix that allows something interesting through. I started crossdressing 60 years ago and I'm still coming to grips with it.

[Stephanie47]

My cross dressing started with trying on my mother's slips. Then it was her girdles, bras, hosiery and panties and one particular sun dress I fit into. I never went through a "trashy looking" period. I'm not a psychologist so I am not skilled at psychoanalyzing anyone. However, when I emulate a woman it's based on my perception of a woman I would want to be. Or I feel I am when she comes to the forefront. My wife and I have been married for almost fifty years. I'm past seventy. I do not dress like my teenage granddaughter. If I was a teenage girl I would have no problem dressing like my granddaughter. She has excellent taste in clothes and makeup, but, does not get anywhere near a "trashy look." I can't explain "trashy" other than I know it when I see it.

It's all about "different strokes for different folks." I do not agree every cross dressers goes through a "hooker" look. My perception of a woman is not a hooker. Hookers are an aberration to womanhood. My wife was a drop dead gorgeous young woman when I met her (still is). Her attire was sexy yet tasteful because sexy is a lot more than the clothes and makeup.

If your cross dressing niche is not classy, so be it. I don't want to step on toes, but, if I was you I'd examine my perception of a woman.

[soyangela]

Hello Ineedthis,

I’m 52 and still trying to understand who I am. I’ve been wearing women’s clothing off and on all my life. For me that feeling that this is a fetish comes from my upbringing. Being told wanting to wear women’s clothes is wrong and something is wrong with you. Have I thought this is a fetish, yes. Which is why I put Angela away for a long time. I’m finally beginning to understand this is not a fetish. I enjoy putting on a dress and felling like a woman. I eventually want to go out and feel like a woman but that’s a long way off.

[Tracy Irving]

want to be, and feel, like a gorgeous woman.

There are more than a few members that share your desire.

This site contains a wealth of insight and information from some wonderful people. You're only a stranger if you want to be.

[Aunt Kelly]

No one point in time s te and out in a lifetime on the TG spectrum, but there were a couple of milestones. At 38, I let go of the guilt and accepted. Around 58 it became clear that i was more than a CD. At 61 I finally used the word transsexual in reference to myself.

[JulesLynne]

I’m 44 and have really come to terms with this over the past 1-2 years. I can’t tell you that I fully understand it, but at this point in my life I no longer try to hide it. I initially thought it was more of a kink but over the years realize that it’s way beyond that. I suppose that I still have some guilt issues and this is something that very few people know about - fortunately my wife is one of those people and she’s supportive. However, I’m OK being Jules and I have a great time with it.

[alwayshave]

I was 44 when I came to grips with it. I had hidden it from my ex-wife because I knew she would never accept. When I left her for reasons unrelated to dressing, I knew that I would never hide it form any future partner. I have been with my now wife for 13 years and came out to her about 8 months into out relationship before we moved in together. She accepted and I have been happy ever since.

[Robertacd]

I would have to say I was in my 40's when I finally came to grips with the obsessive buying. In my case it came down to coming out as transgender and actually going out dressed as often as I can. As now I only buy clothes that I will actually wear out in public, it's not like I am going to wear a ball gown or stripper heals to the grocery store.

Believe me I used to obsess over certain items, or styles you can probably even find evidence of that here. One day I realized that in my mind these are the clothes I should always be wearing but since I don't, my mind keeps telling me I have nothing to wear but these ugly boy clothes. So I should to buy more clothes and it didn't really matter what as long as it fit before I started going out.

[Piora]

For many years, I was a "fetish dresser", and used that for sexual gratification. Often, I still do that. But it was only after joining this site, and reading what other members were doing and experiencing that I began to explore other avenues of dressing that had not actually occurred to me previously. Before, I had only dressed in lingerie....no "outer clothing" such as dresses, blouses, skirts etc. I still have a passion for those - but I now dress as close to what actual everyday women might wear....knee-length skirts, dresses, tops, jackets etc. During these periods, I don't try for sexual purposes...I enjoy feeling and looking feminine. It's become a "dual-crossdressing" aspect for me.

[Kelly-o]

Hello Need This, It can be a journey for sure and it is vastly different from person to person as you can see here. I started out more as a Fetish as well finding my sisters things exciting when I was an early teen, then I went dormant for a while got married then it came back part time. Now I dress most everyday and it's not really a fetish but just a part of who I am. I consider myself rather fluid being comfortable as either. I would say about my late 30's was when things changed from a fetish mindset to maybe acceptance of another part of me if that makes sense to you. It's a bit hard to put into words I am finding.

[Megan b]

For me it was my early 40s. That's when I finally excepted this side of me. I started down this path of crossdressing when I 12 or 13 years old. I didn't exactly know what a fetish was but fits me pretty good for that time and for many years to come. But as time went by I evolved from just dressing in lingerie to being able to present as woman around the house. This lead me to take it from home to out in public. Scariest thing I ever done and the most exciting thing I ever done. I was hooked from that moment on. Even though I excepted this other side of me my wife could not and so ended a 22year marriage. I'm in my early 50's now and go out on a regular bases as Megan. I have as many or more ladies clothes as i do mens oh well I do love to shop.

[Pumped]

And wearing a not so "classy" dress and 10" platform heels, a thong, a bra, putting on make up and lipstick, and walking around the house with confidence has become somewhat of an addiction. Advice, needed. <3

If you love it, no harm done. I swing both ways as far as dressing. I have clothing that you will find only in a strip club, little school girl skirts with the white blouse, 6" platform heels, jean skirts that are way too short to be worn in public, pleather skirts and tops, and so on, then I switch up to my 1960's June Cleaver dress, long full skirt, below the knee and high neck line or a formal floor length gown with a sexy slit up the side. I wore the gown while relaxing with my wife last night. I love wearing it with a garter belt and stockings and letting the slit open up while crossing my legs, showing off the stocking tops and garter. My wife has seen me in all of it and can't help but laugh when I get a bit ****ty!

You need to realize you are not hurting anyone. Now on the other hand most people do not understand our desire to dress, so be careful if you take it public. The general public might have a problem with a CD'er dressed like a hooker wandering the streets, but wear clothing to blend in and they might not notice you.

[JeanTG]

When I was 9 or so years old. Evolved into a fetish by my 20s. Evolved out of being a fetish in my 50s. Now in my 60s. I dress to be me, no other reason, although at stressful times I find I need to be me more often... it does take the edge of stress and anxiety better than any medication. I dress as a normal feminine female (i.e. mostly dresses and skirts, pantyhose, not garters and stockings but rarely jeans or pants).

[NancySue]

I can’t identify a specific date. I began early, not having a clue why I wanted/needed to dress...all lingerie, at first. I tried to quit...many times, thinking it would go away, but only to “fall off the wagon”. During the down times, I’d experience tension, anxiety and other distractions, which went away as I slipped on my lingerie. I found no answers in all my research reading. At that point, probably in my teens, I came to grips with my needs to dress. Once done, I never looked back.

[abbiedrake]

Maybe you are indeed slightly younger than the median here, OP. There are, it's worth noting, those who are barely past the age you were when you first discovered this thing about yourself.

Me? I'm 48 and came to terms with being a CD two years ago but I know it's always been there. That, I think you'll find, is pretty typical, meaning your own story of teen dressing leading to dressing as a 30+ adult. So far, so relatable to so many of us.

As for fetish dressing, whatever. It's fine. No-one here judges you for WHY you CD. You're certainly not alone in dressing primarily for sexual gratification, and as Sherry notes, even for those of us for whom it's not a fetish as such, neither are CDing and arousal mutually exclusive.

The core of your post is the struggle with this aspect of your identity. It's implicit in the stridency of your username, even. Rest assured you're not alone. Some of us, particularly the younger ones, come early to an understanding that this, for whatever reason, is simply part of us. For others that self-knowledge is hard-won over many decades. For others still it's something we may take to our graves, unresolved.

BUT, and it's a big one, if you're going to strive for self-acceptance then this site is certainly for you. However we dress, whenever, wherever, with whomever, the one thing you will hear more than any other message is that of acceptance. Embrace that message, embrace this part of yourself and you stand to win a prize you could never have imagined: peace.

Whether it's for onanistic reasons or if you eventually transition, or like most of us you stay somewhere in between, you need that self-acceptance in your life my friend.

[Eve_cd]

I’ll let you all know once it happens. Every time I think I have a clear idea in my head some random(or not so) thought comes whizzing through my head, the house of cards flutters to the floor, and I have to rebuild again. For a long time I would have identified it as a fetish, then life got too busy to allow sufficient time to exist in Eve’s space(6 kids will do that) and I found myself short-tempered, and so distracted by my desire to exist there that personal progress essentially halted. I currently think of myself as non-binary or gender fluid, but I have as many days where I think that’s just ridiculously stupid as I do days where I feel like it falls woefully short of the truth.

PS I’m 40

[Asew]

I started dressing off and on in my teens, but never came to grips with it until 35.

[Lana Mae]

Like many others, started in teens! Married 34 years and 5 months! Wife passed away! It all came flooding back like a tidal wave! Actually became aware of all of this at age 65! This is where I became aware! There is a lot of knowledge, experience and opinions here! Much can be learned! Sit back and enjoy the journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[BTWimRobin]

I have had a desire to dress my whole life. I have always suppressed it. By the time I was 56 the desire was so strong I finally came to terms with it.

My name is Robin and I am a crossdresser.

[lingerieLiz]

there are a lot of variations when first starting to CD. My first event was when my mother put me in panties when I was about 5. There are no exact reasons or how you will progress. Humans have so many variations.

[JuliaGirl]

I have dressed since I was maybe 11 or 12. Like BTWimRobin, at 56 I am also finally at absolute peace with my needs and desires. Still closeted, but happy.

[HollyGreene]

I started dressing when I was about 11. A lot of the time it was for sexual gratification, but I always knew there was more to it than that.
The style of clothes that I wear has changed considerably since then and it did include some ****ty things when I was about 19 or 20.
Now that I venture out, my choices tend to be clothes to blend in, but I still have one or two things that I wear only indoors that one might consider to be a bit more risque.

[prene]

INeedThis123,

You are not alone. I to started when I was 9-10 and in my teens and 20's it was I think a sexual gratification thing.

Now I am more comfortable dressing and being feminine. Like HollyGreene above I do venture out, but I dress to blend in.
I do go out with a few friends 6+ times a year.
When in Vegas I have worn a little more sexy clothing but again I just want to blend in.

Good Luck

[mbmeen12]

I'm a stranger, here, when I am really struggling with what I think is a fetish, but borderline want to be, and feel, like a gorgeous woman.

Take your time and read, read and read the numerous previous posts. It will come down to your feelings as a need vs a want.

[Lacey New]

You are not really alone. I refer to myself as a casual and intermittent cross dresser. I have never tried to go fully femme or to present in public although I think in my much younger days, the idea of trying to pass just for the thrill of it was appealing. So for me, it is still very much a private treat and yes, I admit that it is more of a fetish than a lifestyle. And oh by the way, I am completely heterosexual but I think as you read this forum, you will find that probably the majority of folks on here are heterosexual as well.

[April Rose]

I can't really say that even after all these years I have completely come to grips with my situation. My gender feelings and my negotiations with the outside world continue to evolve.

[ChubbyLeahCD]

So for me, I have a memory of being around 5 or 6 and wanting to wear leotards with the girls in my pre-school that did ballet and remember looking at the school owner wearing a shirt, jean skirt and t strap sandals and being hypnotized by the sandals. I mimicked her stance while she talked to another mom.
My grandma used to wash her panties in the shower and leave them to try in there. Every time I spent the night there and saw a pair, I’d wear them.
I didn’t start going full blown until I was in middle school and I’d stay home alone some. I’d raid my mom’s closet and try different things. At first I thought that was just a fetish. When I was in college I bought some used clothes from this lady who used to have a porn site in an amateur porn network. Again, thought it was just a fetish. For years that’s what I thought. It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that I started counseling and I realized and accepted that I am bisexual and that dressing is not a fetish, it’s my feminine side, it’s part of me. While I do enjoy sometimes getting sexual gratification dressed up, I enjoy wearing cute clothes around the house alone and trying different things on. Sometimes I just like being dolled up and watching tv, doing the dishes, whatever just being a girl.

[fun4metoo2004]

i have been dressing since I was 13 I guess. At the beginning it was just mom's pantyhose or if lucky enough as my mother was a dancer a new pair of stockings. Her underwear was too big for me so that did not become a thing until I was older. I started trying some makeup around 15-16. Never really progressed with that and in retrospect I wish I had.

Now, at 59, I have little to no makeup skills and am trying to learn it. I have a sufficient enough wardrobe that I could go out from time to time if I could learn to get my face on without looking like a horror movie character. I have enjoyed the times I have gone out for Halloween and the recent photo shoots. I have been accepted well and want to do it more often.

Goals...

[Alice Torn]

This site has helped some men struggling with their strong desire to dress up, to avoid suicide, believe me. It is the best site i have seen for those struggling.

- - - Updated - - -

65 now, finally realizing it does not go away, and is part of me. I wish i had ot ever had this, though. My life would have been much easier, less traumatic, likely, and more social, and likely had married. Single all my life, no steady girlfriends, and lots of inner struggle and loneliness. And mental and emotional health and religious issues, too. Almost ended my life a number of times.

[Michelle43]

I've been dressing as far back as I can remember. Initially it was for sexual pleasure I believe. I'm 43 now and I think i'm finally starting to accept it. I've also noticed that when I dress, it's soothing, relaxing and stress relieving. I feel good and my soul almost feels lighter when I dress. Unfortunately i'm not very passable (i'm horrible at make up) and I don't live alone so I can't dress when and as much as I want to. I've finally gotten to the point where I think it's a part of me. Dressing has been difficult for me, I believe it's caused me stress due to guilt and the questioning of my sexuality. In my every day life i'm not attracted to men at all, but while dressed I am sexually attracted. I'm sure many of us have gone through this. This part i'm still struggling through and don't know if I can resolve it. Shared this to let you know that you're not alone.