Yes, yes, yes.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I got the job !!!!!

For those of you in the DC area, it's the Lane Bryant near (not in) Dulles Town Center.

Still haven't had "The Talk, v2.0" with my wife. Today wasn't a good day for the talk. It's NFL Sunday and Darling Daughter was watching the games with us. Unless DD has been snooping around, she doesn't know anything about my CDing. I hope to have the talk tomorrow.

If I'm allowed to take the job, I post my schedule so you can stop by and shop.

[Mary Lawrence]

AwwwwwweSommmmme!!!

[Crissy 107]

Congratulations!! Good luck tomorrow and we are all excited for you!

[Maid_Marion]

Hi Steffi,

Congratulations on getting the job! Good luck with the talk.

Marion

[KiraK]

Congratulations!! I'll keep my fingers crossed that your conversation goes smoothly and the outcome is what you hope for.

[bridget thronton]

Congratulations

[abbiedrake]

Lol.

I just posted on your previous thread. See there for my congrats and dubious advice.

😁

[Macey]

Congrats!

[Bobbi46]

Go for it with all you have!!!

[Lana Mae]

Congrats and best wishes for a good v 2.0! Hugs Lana Mae

[NancyJ]

Good for you, Sheffield. Now new challenges for your marriage, AND to your feminine presentation skills — but the discounts and the opportunity to work as a woman! Wow! Nancy

[JaclynL61]

Congrats Steffi. Good luck with the talk. I hope you can convince her.

[Heather Chasen]

Good for you Steffi great news, I hope the talk goes well

[Rhonda Darling]

Steffi, that’s wonderful!

Now, the talk . . . . don’t take NO for an answer. It’s a job. It’s your life. And finally, this is who you are! I’ve got fingers crossed that she has an awakening.

Best,
Rhonda

[Lacey New]

Road Trip! Congratulations Steffi. Hope the rest goes well with the wife.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Congratulations on the job offer.

However; I have to rain on your parade and ask about your talk with your wife.

What if she says NO? Where are you going from there?

If you're working as a woman when are you going to tell your "Darling Daughter"? If DD is already snooping around, why you tolerate that is another issue, she's going to find out and then you get another talk.

Are you out to the neighbors and friends? Unless you're "Batgirl" and your alter ego resides in a hidden cave somewhere in the wilds of Alexandria they're going to see and ask what's going on.

Lastly, you stated that you will be trained and conducting "bra fittings". Be prepared for rejection. While the company may be fully on your side the customers don't have to be. That is their prerogative and they can exercise it whenever they want.

Yes, this is a fantasy come true. Now reality comes crashing in.

That being said I wish you well on your journey.

[Traci H]

Yikes Steffi, I have been following your progress in the job process, living it vicariously as I suspect others are. I wish you all the luck in the world. Heck, I’m being a bit selfish here, I just want to hear those works stories!

Crossing my fingers your wife is OK with it and the talk 2.0 goes smoothly.

[Tracii G]

If your wife gets upset over you working there and that you have not had that talk yet what do you expect to happen?
If she is pissed about it you cause problems and home and if she does not approve you have just wasted the employers time and resources.

[Sometimes Steffi]

In accordance with the boundaries set by my wife (that I agreed to), I can't tell my daughter or let her find out, say by seeing me dressed or finding my stuff.

I have pretty much jammed all of Steffi's clothes and other paraphernalia into my office with my door closed, but not locked. I didn't think Darling Daughter was snooping around, until my wife said that DD had mentioned to her that my office is a real mess. Normally, you can't even get through the door, and "almost everything" is in boxes, grocery bags or suitcases. It's the "almost" part that's the problem. After I've gone out, I usually leave my "go to" bags in the car until everyone is gone, and then I bring them in. Sometimes, I just toss them through the door into my office where they might be visible. I guess I have to lock the office door now.

BTW, DD is almost 35 and still living in the basement. I don't enter her room if the door is closed without knocking first, unless there's an emergency in the utility room, which can only be reached through her room. She understands boundaries, so I'm not sure why she was peeking into my office.

(Note: It could be worse. DD has a full time job and is making enough money to provide for all her daily needs. She even pays us "rent", so she is relatively self-sufficient. However, a single apartment in the DC area starts at about $1500 per month, plus utilities. I think you need to be making about $50,000 to "afford" a single apartment.)

I'm not "Batgirl" (although I should consider that for a Halloween costume). A woman who owns a local consignment store has been letting me change there recently. I just need to get my stuff there to make the transition. I do have to improve my logistics and my supply line if I'm going to be out and dressed 3 to 4 times a week. I think it will be an interesting engineering process design.

The key to this all is getting permission from my wife. Yesterday, my wife was in a great mood, but DD, my wife and I were all glued to the NFL. Today, bad mood. Do you think women's intuition can detect "impending doom?

[Frannie7]

Congrats on the job, Steffi and good luck on the home front.

[BTWimRobin]

Congrats on getting the job. Good luck with the talk. I hope everything goes well.

[Joyce Swindell]

So when is your start date? You can always go to training in man mode so you do have a cushion for wife talk but like so many comments... should do it soon.

Besides.... your wife will also benefit from your company discount and income. That's if you don't spend everything you make at the store! lol

[Tracii G]

I don't see how you can hide where you are working for long, you will be found out.
If the poo hits the fan well you are on your own.
I don't know why CDers insist on messing their relationships up.

[Robertacd]

Wow I am happy, jealous, and a bit worried about you and what you have done.

Frankly I don't see how you are going to pull this off in the long run, without your wife's blessings and DD's knowledge.

I believe that it is time for a long talk with both of them.

[kimdl93]

Would it be possible to dress for your days at LB at LB? Arrive in male mode, duck into a restroom or dressing room and make the transformation, and then do the reverse before going home at the end of the day?

[docrobbysherry]

Congrats, Sheffi!:thumbsup:

Let us know how the "bra fittings" go?:D

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Why do I hear the music of impending doom in the background? (I think the theme song of "Darth Vadar" from Star Wars.)

How did you handle changing for your job interview? Was it at the local consignment shop or some other arrangement?

You have taken the job and stated all along that you'd be presenting as a woman. Therefore you now have an obligation to follow through with that your new employer.

Also, you have the obligation to be as professional as possible. That's what they will be paying you for. Dressing on the fly in a restroom isn't going to cut it.

I don't see any way of doing this except being a mature, professional adult by dressing at home and then proceed to your place of employment. If you can't do that then you should not take the job.

[Tracy Irving]

Congratulations on the new job.


Still haven't had "The Talk, v2.0" with my wife...

...If I'm allowed to take the job

I understand why you would want to proceed in this order. What do you think would have been the outcome if you had "The Talk, v.2.0" before applying for the job?

[Jenny22]

If a female were to object to your doing a bra fitting, tell her you are an engineer and know a lot about stresses on materials.

[AngelaYVR]

I always wondered, for those who haven’t had electrolysis or laser, how do you have so many close shaves without destroying your face?

The job sounds fun but I max out at three close shaves in a row and then need time to let my face rest. Have you factored this in or is your skin immune to repeated attacks from steel blades?

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Jenny I LOVE your witty comeback to an irate middle aged matron. Then again, she may just haul off and slug you for getting "fresh" with her.

Angela that is an excellent point. I would go almost 7 days enfemme at Southern Comfort which meant shaving twice a day. By the end my face was raw and I couldn't wait to go back to "boy" mode.

One has to ask themselves if this might not be a case of "pink fog" run amok?

[Tina Davis]

Congratulations Steffi on landing the job.

And good luck handling the talk with your wife! Keeping my fingers crossed! :praying:

[Robertacd]

If a female were to object to your doing a bra fitting, tell her you are an engineer and know a lot about stresses on materials.

That is a valid point. I am an engineer and look at bras from an engineering standpoint.

My wife will agree that all of her favorite most comfortable and supportive bras are ones that I have chosen for her.

[char GG]

Lastly, you stated that you will be trained and conducting "bra fittings". Be prepared for rejection. While the company may be fully on your side the customers don't have to be. That is their prerogative and they can exercise it whenever they want.

Words of caution: don't be offended or put off if women don't want you messing around with the bra area. It's not a game to them. They may request a female SA or simply leave and go to another place for a bra fitting. Not all woman are OR want to be open and accepting when it comes to their personal space.

Good luck with "The Talk".

[Jean 103]

Ok , now for life in the real world. Something I know a lot about.

First , it's only a matter of time now till you will be out.

So you might as well start now.

At 35 if your daughter can't handle it, than there is no hope for her in this world.

Do not ever go in guy mode, not for any reason, no matter what.

You need to be consistent. Be in full makeup all the time.

You will need a full wardrobe at home.

Absolutely do not ever talk about sexual preference ( it would be ok to menchen a boyfriend, but not a girl), or your wife. They will assume that you want to be a woman, let them, do not correct them. It will make your life much easier.

If you think you are a guy in a dress , you are going to have problems. If you are, just keep it to yourself.

Women will accept you if they think you want to be one of them.

Be consistent, it is easier on everyone.

Good luck,

[sara66]

Good luck with your wife. I hope spending so much time dressed doesn't ruin the fun.
I am very jealous I would like to work for LB or such. At least part time.
Sara

[alwayshave]

Congratulations and good luck with the talk.

[Tracii G]

You have had your bluff called now live up to your word.

[Sometimes Steffi]

So, I counted the results of all the posts: 22 positive, 9 negative, the rest neutral.

Since the vote is over 2 to 1 positive, I'm going to keep my positive attitude, and move forward.

I still haven't had "The Talk v2" with my wife. There were interruptions and unscheduled events all day long. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Some quick responses to the naysayers:

1. I have not accepted the job yet. The LB hiring manager was fine if I took a few days to decide.
2. I did dress at for the interview at the consignment shop
3. I will be very professional and will abide by the extensive dress code that changes season to season. Some shopping may be required.
4. As for shaving, I definitely know what you mean. I used to max out at 3 to 4 days, but my beard is lighter, so I think I can make it.
5. As for bra fitting, I'll gladly pass on any customer who is uncomfortable to a GG SA. It's not about me, but it's about the customer experience.
6. If my wife is dead set against it, I'll abide by her wishes. There's no way to pull this off without her consent, even if it's grudging consent.

BTW, I don't think there's hardly anything sold in LB that I can wear. Sizes start at 14W. I'm 12 to 14 missies on the top, and 10 to 12 on the bottom. They might have some Cacique bras in 36C or 38 B/C.

I really, really want this, and hope that my wife will agree.

I will update tomorrow.

[Tracii G]

OK then good luck. I just hope you didn't waste the LB manager's time.
I do think you should have confided in your wife first because now she will think you have gone behind her back on other things too.
You have to live with her not me so I have no dog in the fight so to speak.
Just sounds like you don't consider her input important.

[Crissy 107]

Steffi, Good on keeping your positive attitude! That is what you need and we all need. I cannot wait to hear about how you do there. I’m also happy you ended up at LB rather then Dress Barn since the latter will be closing.

[VtVicky]

Steffi, I think you may be reading polite niceness as support.

I also think you may be too far into this for politeness.

If you are this far into it without your wife's support, (not just consent), or the knowledge of the rest of your close family, I fear that things will go very badly very quickly.

It appears that you have folded the strangers in the LB business end and your family into your own fantasy without leaving room for reality. Do you really expect the backroom of a consignment shop to be available every time you want to get dressed? Do you expect that telling your wife and DD this late into the plan is going to go well when you do tell them?

In the shrinking business, we usually prefer for someone to come to these questions on their own over time. However, it sounds like you are moving too fast for that.

In the medical profession, most legitimate practitioners require a person to live full time as woman for a year before they will agree to a surgical procedure. This may not be surgery, but, I assure you without proper preparation it can be just as painful and dangerous.

Please slow down. Let this job go for now. Revel in the accomplishments you have already made. They are significant. Try to get your wife involved as an aid to you not just a consensual observer.

I know this is none of my business. But, I think you brought this to the forum to discuss it.

I also know you "really, really want this". I expect that you really want this to work as well. The chances of this fulfilling your desires will be significantly improved when you are better prepared to do this without the help of crutches like "consignment shops".

Good luck.

[Joni T]

It's time to bite the bullet and just have the talk. It's a job, it's INCOME--plain and simple. Good luck.
Jon

[Rogina B]

Steffi, I think you may be reading polite niceness as support.

It appears that you have folded the strangers in the LB business end and your family into your own fantasy without leaving room for reality.

Please slow down. Let this job go for now. But, I think you brought this to the forum to discuss it.
The chances of this fulfilling your desires will be significantly improved when you are better prepared to do this without the help of crutches like "consignment shops".

Good luck.
Exactly this ! AND,there will be DAMAGES if you try doing this job and give up. LB is a big corporation and that manager that hired you will be toast as well as corporate making a policy or two about transgender people..And there are some somewhere that need work in a store like this. Them hiring an occasional crossdresser isn't smart.

[Teresa]

Steffi,
Part of me envies you , I think it's wonderful and brave of you to apply for the job, even better still you could well be offered it .

The other part of me is thinking you must be crazy , you needed to get your own TG issues sorted and then discuss them with your wife and daughter . I can't help feeling your daughter is getting her cake and eating it , whether she pays rent or not it is your home and you are out dressed so she needs to know the full picture and decide if she can or can't live with it , if she can't then she can always move out .

Not having sensible dressing arrangements and non approval from your wife possibly isn't fair on LB as a company . Working full time dressed isn't going to be a bed of roses , can you actually maintain that day in day out ? The bra fitting problem could be part of a string of problems from both customers and other employees , I do feel you should have lived full time comfortably for a while before attempting this .

[Devi SM]

I'm sorry but I'm lazy tonight.
I haven't read all the comments but I'm missing something in this story.
I know I haven't been in this web for a while or not too often how I used to do last year it I don't understand, what job, what conversation....can someone enlight me?

[Sometimes Steffi]

The Reader's Digest version is that I applied for and was offered a job as a sales associate at Lane Bryant part time. I have not yet accepted the job, nor "asked my wife for permission" to accept it.

There must be over 50 posts on this topic in 3 or 4 threads. If you're interested in the backstory, go to my profile and search for started posts. Thanks.

[Joyce Swindell]

Bottom line is that only you know all that has been discussed, what the relationships are and agreements.

There is SO much information that only you have and so only can know what to do.

We're just here to cheer you on. As I see it this is a huge step for the crossdresser community as well as the real world.

I say good for you!! Thank you for being strong in your pioneering!

[Vee]

Working as a sales associate is plausible, but not the bra fitting. The moment you are alone with a female customer in a fitting room you would be in a mine field. One word from her about anything inappropriate (true or not) could get you fired, arrested or worse. You and LB could face a lawsuit.

The only safe way would be to have a female accompany you at all times in the fitting room. But then you would be redundant. So what would be the point?

[Robertacd]

Vee Lane Bryant does their bra fitting over your clothes and rn the floor.

They even advertise the "right over your clothes" part.

[suzanne]

"The talk"?
"If I'm allowed to...."?

I sincerely hope it goes well for you, but it sounds to me like your in for a bumpy time. Best of luck.

[Allisa]

Steffi, I think it took a lot of intestinal fortitude to apply for a position as a woman or even a trans woman. I don't think you have totally thought this thing out. Regardless of the other factors you know that you would have to live as a woman full time, there just is no spare time to be the other, the upkeep is 24/7. I know because I live 24/7 as a woman and sometimes I get tired and lazy and it's one step forward, three steps back, I don't know how women do it.

[mykell]

to quote myself....


ok not wanting to be a wet blanket :devil: devils advocate perhaps, ive been rooting for you but, i think you would have had a better shot keeping the position if you had consulted your wife at the inception of this quest, when you came out to her did you promise "no more lies or deceptions", most of those stories seem to have that common denominator.

i had started with a DADT position when i came out in the beginning but did not want to assume all was good because she did not want to know....so i had hard conversations and were at a pretty good place right now, i go to social outings, support groups and even have my own volunteer gig at a LGBT club. you do not give that impression of your relationship so im worried for you.

SO im not judging and hope it works out for you but what is the end game....if after all this you get the job and cant take it because of the Mrs. concerns it would certainly suck for you. but im thinking that it would suck for the next CD or trans person that applies to that type of position. the person has a bad taste from the experience will most likely pick a non CD/trans person the next time, again not judging but some important details are missing.

[soyangela]

Steffi,
CONGRATULATIONS on the job! Good luck with your SO. I'd be interested to know how your talk goes. It would help me get prepared for my own talk... in the future.
Angela

[Caryn Lynn]

Steffi, Cogratulations on the job offer!
I have been to the Sterling LB several times and always have had very friendly SA's help me there. The fist time I had stopped there I was actually shopping at the Dressbarn near there and had a SA refuse to let me try anything on (I'M sure she didnt last long there). That was the only time I had a negative experience at a Dressbarn. Walked out of there went over to the LB and it was such a plesant experience.

[JenniferMBlack]

It's hard to be up beat about this. I am sure we are missing something some where but from what I have read it doesn't look good. I do hope for the best for you. I will tell you there is an up hill battle in front of you if your wife says yes. It's a lot of work to keep a boy looking like a girl. I am only starting the third week and wondering what I have got myself into, and I have no obligation to continue. I hope if you don't take the job or don't make it you won't do harm for others. Best of luck to you.

[SaraLin]

Steffi,

Congratulations on the job offer. It sounds like it would be a dream job - not only to you, but many of us in here. BUT - Don't let the dream overwhelm your common sense.

I hope I'm wrong here - but if you take the job, I'm afraid that I don't see it ending well for you. Or maybe I should say for your marriage.

How do you honestly think your wife will react when she learns that you've been sneaking around behind her back - applying for and getting a job DRESSED AS A WOMAN - AND WORKING IN A DRESS STORE??!!

Do you think she might feel betrayed? Lied to? Angry?
Might she wonder if you're thinking of starting a new life AS STEFFI and leaving her behind?
Might this be "the last straw" that pushes her out the door? Are you ready for that?

Or - do you think you can hide the dressing part from her? If so, what if she decides to "drop in" to visit you at work one day?

You're dancing in a mine field you've laid for yourself.
Good luck. I'm afraid you're going to need it.

(the preceding commentary was produced and edited by a natural born pessimist... me):strugglin

[Kandi Robbins]

Congrats! Logistics will be challenging, best of luck!!

[Allison Chaynes]

Congrats! A few points, from my own experience as a manager at Lane Bryant, who worked in drab:

1. I was told that I would never have to do bra fittings unless both the customer and I were ok. Otherwise, have a female SA do it.

2. The LB in Southaven, MIssissippi had a MIAD working there, so don't stress out about passing. I never saw that she had any issues with customers. Last time I was there, the store mgr was a male. It's been a couple years.

3. You will be expected by customers to be knowledgeable about products, and understanding different bra types and fit. Understand that bras are their moneymakers. Everything else is just add on, for the most part.