I never thought this could happen.

[Rachel]

I went shopping en femme two days ago and had an experience I had never imagined could happen. I have been out many times and either I pass reasonably well or nobody has been as rude as to actually say anything. Anyway I dressed for my shopping trip in an outfir which I thought would not draw attention to me too much; grey skirt, blouse, 3/4 length coat, court shoes with only a 2" heel, wig and make up. Drove to a town, parked the car and went shopping.

I went into a branch of 'Bon Marche' (ladies clothes shop for my sisters outside the UK) and was browsing through all the clothes when I saw that there was a sale of lingerie, mainly bras and panties. I went to the stands of bras and things and was examining the panties when a lady of about 60 stood next to me and started doing the same thing. They certainly were cheap (£1 or £2) and very nice. Suddenly this lady starts to engage me in conversation about how nice the panties were and she was going to buy 3 or 4 pairs, was I going to as well!!

I nearly died on the spot, I had never thought that this could happen and really didn't know how to cope. I didn't want to appear rude but obviously my voice would give me away if I said very much. Pitching my voice up a bit I said 'very nice' and moved away. I was so shocked that I left the shop and went back about an hour later and did buy some panties but the annoying thing was that the ones I really wanted had been sold.

Has anybody else ever had an experience like mine?

Hugs
Rachel.
XXX

[Jennaie]

Rachel:

No, and this is one of the things that scares me so much. I know it is going to happen and I have been practicing my voice with a recorder but things are going slow. At first, it took me about three weeks to find a voice at all. Now I have to practice words and phrases. It is like trying to learn a new language, one word at a time. I can only practice for about a half hour per day because it strains my throat to do it. Each week I find that I am able to go a little longer as I train my voice. So far, I can only say a few things and if anyone engaged me in conversation I would be out after "hello, yes, thank you, no, and bye bye.

It's the hardest part of passing in my opinion.

[GypsyKaren]

You know, I gave up with the femme voice thing. No one could understand me and I had to keep repeating myself. I do soften it just a touch, nothing drastic, otherwise I talk pretty normal. So far, no problems. I enjoy engaging in conversation when I'm out, and it's nice to just be myself and not worry about how I sound.

Karen

[Cathy Anderson]

Is it possible that she was just a very nice person who read you as CD and wished to make you feel comfortable--or who didn't care?

Cathy

[Joy Carter]

Cathys right; I know I would be shook beyone belief but Iwould love to have a "normal" friendly relationship with a GG it would mean so much to be accepted. "Tea and biscuts at your house how lovely!"

[Rachel]

Kathy, thanks for your post. I'm afraid that in my shock/horror at being spoken to I never thought that maybe she had read me and wanted to make me feel more relaxed. She was certainly a pleasant well dressed lady and her choice in panties was not what one would have perhaps expected in a lady of her age.

Now you are making me wish that i had been more friendly and not fled in fright. My fear was that if she was not the pleasant lady you suggest she might have been and she then discovered I was cd she might have freaked out and called the store manageress or someting which would have been so humiliating.

When I made my purchases later on 3 pairs of lovely white panties and two bras I think the girl at the till might have suspected me but she just smiled and said 'Enjoy'!

Hugs
Rachel
XXX

[lynda jane hamilton]

I only ever shop in drab. Smart drab though!"
I now with confidence tell them that I cross dress and I never had a shop assistant show anything other than confidence and support. I like the girls on maleup counters the best. On Friday in Milton Keynes I spent a heavenly 30 mins choosing new foundation and the tips I got were unbeleivable. I was even asked in M&S if I would like to try the shoes on that I had just bought.

So go dressed enjoy and no one is going to shout trannie even little ol ladies!

Enjoy your shopping ernfemme and your new undies!!
LOL

Lyndax

[glynnda]

I am not passable but lov to shop I think I'd lov for someone to approach me while shopping .0.02

[Nikki Dee]

Hi. Rachel...nice story...and one many can relate to...I think Karen's attitude about the voice thing is wonderful...but to so many it is an achilles heel.!. I naturally "engage" in conversation...as a person...but I still find myself being very "reserved" in relation to chatting when out dressed....perhaps I should just try harder to overcome that.!!!!
Love Nikki. x

[Paula Jaye]

When I try to soften my voice I drop into a slightly posh (UK-posh) accent. I belive this helps as people feel they are dealing with a Laydeeee and act accordingly. I've found this works in the USA and also seems to help here in NZ. The main thing is if you enunciate clearly as males, generally, don't speak clearly.

[Lilith Moon]

Years back I when was starting to go out and getting more confident I was walking through a shopping mall and, I thought, blending in quite well. Somebody with a clipboard suddenly accosted me and wanted to do a survey or something. I just didn't know what to do since I had never spoken to anybody while dressed. So, I pointed to one ear and made a few pseudo sign-language moves, sort of waved my hands around a bit hoping to indicate a hearing problem. She looked apologetic and embarrased and I walked on. I'm still not sure what she made of my performance :o

[sally angora]

Never had the pleasure of shoping whilst dressed but the last time I shopped the lady picked up that the sweater I was buying was for myself. She was very nice and just mentioned that it would keep me cosy.

I got read whilst in male persona!!

Sally

[mskilmer]

I haven't been drawn into an actual conversation, but I've spoken to waiters and such at restaurants. It's intimidating, to be sure. I've never experienced any problems, though. I can't say what I'd do in your situation ... I probably would have done much the same thing as you. Mosy likely I'd have nodded and mumbled something and just left as casually as I could ... unfortunately. But every time out gets easier, doesn't it? I guess we all dread the first experience like that ... now you've actually done it. Maybe next time will be better.

[Sally24]

I would agree with the girls that are working on their voices. You have to be prepared in some way for conversation. You should be able to say a passable yes or no in a high pitch. If it's only a word or two then there's not enough inflection or time involved for people to lock-in on your voice. Another way to go is with the whisper. Pretend that you have a cold or larangitis (sp) and can only talk in a whisper. Everyones whisper is almost the same, whether male or female. The only time that I've gotten strange looks from waitstaff or clerks is when I've tightened up and gotten self conscouise. You can't speak really low, because then people just ask you to repeat yourself!

I practice my voice quite often in the car now with Andrea James' finding your female voice. No breakthroughs yet but it is getting better. I think my range is improving too. If you can just maintian an even tone and get some of the girly sing-song inflection, it helps alot. Good luck!

[carson]

Of course, Honey, happens all the time. I find something I really want to buy, but hesitate to purchase it right on the spot. Then I decide to go back and get it and, dang! someone else has bought it right out from under me! Arrrggh!:cheeky:

BTW Good for you to be comfortable enough to go out en femme. She was probably just a nice older lady whose sense of open-mindedness had matured with age as we can only wish would happen to all!:thumbsup:

[Jodi]

When you speak to a gg, you must smile. A male voice with a smile and the right gestures goes a long way. My voice is by no means perfect, but I'm not afraid to face a gg and talk. Last fall I was in the Limited shopping dressed. I had selected a necklace and matching earrings from the jewelry rack. A well dressed gg noted that I had the matching earrings. She smiled and asked if I could look with her to find a pair of earrings to match the necklace she had found. Together, we looked through the jewelry for about 10 minutes, making small talk as we looked. The store manager was standing back watching and was getting a real charge out of it--me helping a gg select jewelry. I actually found her a pair of earrings that she thought were great. She thanked me and went to check out. She appeared to not have a clue. I alter my voice slightly by talking softer. It is the vocal inflection, the smile, and the gestures/body language that will pull it off.

[Joyce1702]

I was shopping at a K-mart while "dressed" and an older woman came up to me outside the store and asked if I knew where she could find cobbler's aprons. I wasn't sure if I looked matronly enough that I might actually know where she could find them or if she was trying to figure me out.

I've also had people ask me the time while out dressed. I tell them the time, in as feminine a voice as I can muster.

Joyce

[LaSirenaBella]

I almost died the first time this happened to me, at a wig shop. It worked out in the end.

Sirena

[Jasmine Ellis]

No, not yet I haven't.

[sherri]

I agree with Karen completely. This problem evaporates into thin air if you aren't terrified of being clocked.

I'll even go so far as to say I'm actually uncomfortable about "fooling" people in many situations. It just seems dishonest, and I worry that the other person might feel tricked or manipulated. So I'm usually not even trying to make anyone believe I'm a GG.

Nevertheless, I do want people to perceive me as a decidedly feminine personality, and I let my voice reflect that. I don't try to alter it drasctically; I just let it acquire a rather natural softness, slightly higher pitched than normal. So far the effect seems to go over well.

Jodi has a good point too. You can be both straightforward and easy to accept. A genuine smile and warmth work wonders. Sure, some will still freak, but many people will pick up on your being "real" and go with it. To me, that's wonderful.

[Charlene Marie]

Rachel. Yes this has happened to me also. Honey she was a GG correct?
Well if she wasnt over 70, she read you right away. She was probably just trying to show you how liberal she was and make you feel comfortable. Next time that happens, just be yourself. You could have a wonderful friendship with a sweet person like that, they are out there. I meet a lady in a Beauty Salon about six years ago, and she was very sweet to me, and she knew of course what I am. We used to talk on the phone and exchange Christmas cards. And I've been to her home for coffee. She was so sweet, and just interested in why I am the way I am. No accusations, no put downs just a nice friendship.

[michellecd9999]

I had an experince a few months ago. I don't get out often. I went to a Tri-ess meeting on Friday night. I changed in their suite and we all went out to dinner in a regular restaurant. Afterwards, I had to leave pretty soon but the other gurls in the group were going out to a bar. One of the couples took me back to the hotel suite to change. The husband let me and his wife out at the parking deck door while he parked. As we were entering from the parking deck door and going doing the hall a couple of older GG's caught up with us and were following us. When we got to the elevators, they stepped in with us. They started chatting about the weather or someting. Well, I was scared to death to say anything. Thinking I may have passed from the back and side. I just nodded and avoided saying anything until they got out. In retrospect. I wish I would have responded with my fem voice. Even if they made me they probably would have not made a sceen. The people in the restaurants and some others we have met in the bar or on the way in/out of the hotels and restaurants have always been friendly, regardless of what they thought internally!
I do use a softer and somewhat higher pitch voice when dressed. I don't want to be talking with my booming male voice. I'm trying to blend in!
Michelle

[Kathleengurl]

also...
... the older set.. if they read you or not.. are just too well mannered to make it a public issue.

A CDGF and i went on an outing to an air museum. Older gentlemen at the ticket stall likely read us.. but treated us as women just the same.. even made polite chit chat. IMHO.. it was a gentle blessing... an oportunity for experience lost. You'll do great though.. getting out is the biggest step.
-k-