I Don't Understand

[Georgina]

I have read countless stories from crossdressers about the first time they properly put on a dress. Quite a lot go on to state it felt so right that they knew they were meant to be a girl. I don't understand that because the first time I wore full dress, after years of just lingerie, it felt brilliant. My immediate reaction was that it was wrong that I was not allowed to do so. To me wearing a dress and feeling great doesn't mean I should be a girl. How does any one make the deduction that they were supposed to be a girl because they feel good in a dress?

[NancySue]

Excellent points. I don’t understand either. I have no interest in being a girl and never have. Even in my early years when I wore just lingerie...mostly stockings, but I don’t recall ever wanting to be a girl. I just enjoy the feelings, decisions, pleasures, senses, and the processes involved in dressing. I underdress daily...sometimes more, sometimes less. I have good days and bad days, especially with makeup. Could it be it’s another “title assumption” given us by the unaware public? I think so. Along with assumption we’re all gay, want to be a girl, etc. I recognize there are those who fall in those categories, which is OK as we all seem to follow different paths.

[Raychel]

Everyone is on a different place in the spectrum. Everyone has different feeling on the inside.
For one person it may be a realization that they have bigger deeper issues that may need to be dealt with
for another it may be that they just feel more comfortable in women's underwear and that is it.

So how does one get from one point to the next is all in the own thoughts and plan for life.

Personally when I put on forms and a dress the first time and looked in the mirror, that was just right
That is the way I am supposed to look in my mind, The rest of the world would look at me and say that is totally messed up.
But they are not living my life, they are not in my head.
Am I supposed to be a girl, Definitely not. I am happy with me being me.

So to each there own, If a person can have thought about how they dress and feel and get to a point where
they are happy in there life, Then all the more power to them.

Life is too hard anyways.
get to a point where you can be happy in your head and life. and just enjoy the ride.

Just my :2c::2c:

[Ressie]

I haven't seen any of those stories myself. But we're all different of course.

As a teen, I had feelings that I wanted to be a girl. My first time wearing a dress - I was 13 which brought on an intense hormonal reaction. That's not what gave me the idea that I wanted to be a girl, but it was part of the equation.

[Tracy Irving]

How does any one make the deduction that they were supposed to be a girl because they feel good in a dress?

There are probably some who feel good in a dress because they are supposed to be a girl.

[Davina2833]

I think NancySue hit the nail on the head. We are all on a different plane in life. Its good to enjoy the feelings we have when dressing.I don't want to be a girl, am not gay just enjoy the special feelings that come from over 50+ years of being able to dress in my own way. Life is to short not to be happy with your self.

[MonicaPVD]

Some people love steak. Some people despise it. I don't understand that either. People!

[susan54]

I can still remember the first dress I wore. Now that I have had my colours and style done professionally it was absolutely right for me but it belonged to my mother, who had similar colouring to me. It never occurred to me to be a girl - I was just a boy in a dress. To this day I look better in a dress or top and skirt than I do in male clothes and have been told this by several women. I like the feeling, but even when I am out and about with the make-up, wig, perfume and the walk, I feel male. It is an act and it is fun. Not gay, not transsexual, just a guy playing a part and loving it. I spend almost all my free time in dresses with all the underpinnings (including bra and breast forms) and no make up apart from lipstick and no wig unless out and about - and I sleep in a nightdress. I own more dresses and skirts than most women and even own more women's shoes than most women but I am always - at all time sin my head - male. And I am entirely happy with this situation. We are all different and I resist attempts by others to put me in a box of their choosing. I choose my own boxes in the same way that I choose my own clothes.

At this very moment anyone seeing me would say I have dressed in a very feminine way. I have on a midi dark green dress with long, close-fitting sleeves that has a hem like Roman blinds and underneath I have a slightly longer frothy white petticoat. There are dangly silver earrings, bangles, a necklace and bright coral lippy, with sheer barely black tights and quite high spindle-heel black courts, all decorated with a long matching scarf. I regard it as elegant rather than feminine - I hate the pretty princess look and just want to look extremely well dressed in womenswear.

[Micki_Finn]

Not the first time I put on a dress, but I’ve had a similar experience. It’s a purely emotional thing and difficult to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but sometimes everything comes together just right and you look in the mirror and see yourself and it’s just right. The closest equivalent I can think of is like these people who are colorblind and put on those special glasses that correct the issue and they can see how the world really looks the first time.

[Tracii G]

Seems like another case of someone not liking others being different from them.
So we must be all alike now?

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Georgina,

I'm still a newbie and I have not had the opportunity to put on a dress. Why? Because I don't have one .... yet. I do have a skirt that I love to wear. When I put it on along with heels, bra, panties and a cute top it feels so amazingly right. Looking in the mirror confirms my feelings as I see a pretty (in my mind) woman looking back. Dressing for me is an expression of my feminine side. Just because I love the way I look and feel when I am dressed does not necessarily mean that I want to be or was meant to be a woman. I believe there is so much more to being a woman than the fashion and clothes. As crossdressers, we barely scratch the surface. Just my :2c:

[kimdl93]

Key words are “I just don’t understand...”. There are lots of things I do not understand. The fact that I cannot understand rap music, doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with rap. I don’t understand the language Urdu. And yet its a widely spoken language, and I’m told has an amazing literary tradition.

I barely understand myself....

[Raychel]

I barely understand myself....

Yeah, that totally sums it up for me.

[Alice Torn]

Same here. I am like Sgt Shultz on Hogan's Heroes. "I know nuuuuthing" I do know that i like certain styles of clothing designed for women, and i never had a chance to have a wife , and I have very strong desires to wear those things and look like a tall, attractive lady.

[Teresa]

Georgina,
We are all individuals , so we can never expect to understand the needs and thoughts of others . The simple act of putting on a dress was summed by my daughter saying they are just clothes , a piece of material , OK she's right but she didn't have a clue what drove that need .

To me the clothes are a window to the RW of how I feel inside , when I did the whole thing with makeup and a wig twenty + years ago , I looked in the mirror and the guy had gone , I looked like a girl/woman , did I feel like one ? To be truthful NO , at the time it was far more sexual than it is now .

Moving on I feel as much like a woman as I'm likely to , I really don't feel hormones or surgery would change that , I'm out everyday so my feelings now are of total comfort , I'm at ease with how I look it does feel so right now . When I look in my wardrobe now , I'm not looking for something to feel more like a woman , I'm considering the right thing to wear just as any woman would do , taking into account where I'm going and what the weather is doing .

I'm sure the feelings we experience are like a female who buys a dress for a special occasion , she feels good , she feels more feminine .

[Robertacd]

Well I have always known I am a girl inside. I didn't have to put on a dress to find out. I tried on my first dress because I felt like I should be wearing dresses.

So I can undetstand why someone like me, after years of looking in the mirror and hating what they see. Then the first time they try on a dress they finally like what they see in the mirror and want to stay that way.

Sorry about the repost. The mobile site doesn't allow editing posts. It just deletes them instead.

[JeanTG]

Putting on a dress makes me feel normal, and alive.

All I can say: to those who feel this, no explanation is necessary. To those who don't, no explanation is possible.

[RADER]

In my early years, I would wear all in one's girdles, the type that went from shorts up to and including a bra.
I loved them, Now I wear my panties and bra all the time, a skirt or a dress around the house. Fem jeans when
I have to go outside.
I have tuned down a lot in my older age, but I am still wearing fem clothes, and want to stay a Boy.
rader

[Georgina]

I don't understand but at the same time I don't have to understand. I am totally aware that everyone is different and variety is the spice of life. Another thing I don't understand is where Tracii G's comment comes from.

[Micki_Finn]

I would guess her comment was a reaction to “How does any one make the deduction that they were supposed to be a girl because they feel good in a dress?” where you basically implied that there was something wrong with trans people. “How does anyone...?” Is not something you ask of something you are accepting of.

[Georgina]

That is not the way it was written. I just asked a question.

[AngelaYVR]

I didn’t take your question in a negative way, Georgina. As for my answer, the act of “putting on the dress” itself is not the spark that ignites the passion but rather it is the prop that allows some to view what they always felt but could never see.

[Jean 103]

A person's feelings are just that, their feelings.

Why and how doesn't matter, as this is them and not you.

To try and figure it out takes way more information than they provide.

To actually figure out if you should or shouldn’t, be or live as a women takes a bit more input than just putting on a dress. Really can you imagine if it were that easy.

So how you feel is just that, your feelings. They may be similar to others but they are still unique to you.

Besides this is not the real world, they can say anything, there is no way to tell where the truth lies.

[Tracii G]

I guess its a USA thing because we have people here that expect you to believe the same way they do even if you both are trans hence the everybody has to be alike comment.
Might be different in Ireland.
I wasn't bashing you for not understanding its fine if you don't. Not many of us do.

[Maid_Marion]

The big difference for me is social interactions. The more feminine I become the more natural my social interactions become with both friends and strangers. The awkwardness goes away. It may help that I look really good as a girl.

[sometimes_miss]

How does any one make the deduction that they were supposed to be a girl because they feel good in a dress?
Maybe because they finally feel 'normal' once they are fully dressed as a female.
The analogy I once gave, was this: Imagine you are at a formal gathering, everyone else is wearing a tux or an evening gown. But you, you're in a bathing suit. Doesn't matter if it's a men's or woman's bathing suit, you're going to feel like you're in the wrong clothes. That's how I feel when I'm wearing men's attire; always just a little uncomfortable, as if I'm wearing something I'm not supposed to wear, and there's this subtle urgency to take them off, and put on what I feel is normal for me to wear. And so, yet, when I wear girl clothes, I feel normal. I never feel uncomfortable when dressed as a girl does. Never. So, in the average person's mind, what other conclusion do they come up with?
We can't always understand how others feel. It's their mind, their body, their life. It's different from our own. Just accept what they tell you, that they feel the way they do.

Live and let live.

Edit. Maybe this will help. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRjhts_p1H8

[Ressie]

One thing a dress does to me: it makes my legs look more feminine. Wearing men's shorts doesn't do that. The material also feels good against my legs but maybe that's just me.

I have some things in common with others on this forum while other things are completely different with the same person. I use to tell one of my girlfriends, "don't expect others to be like you".

[Cheryl T]

I don't know if I was meant to be female, if I am truly female inside or if I simply want to be female.
There is a very big difference in those statements.

All I know is that when I was little, talking 5 or 6 I had this desire to be a girl. I was wearing my mom's things at that early age and always felt so at ease and so right in her clothes. Countless nights I would fall asleep praying I would wake up as a girl. At Hallowee I would wish my mom would suggest a feminine costume so I could feign disgust yet secretly jump for joy at the thought.
I went through all the dress, excitement, satisfaction, disgust, purge cycles countless times but always I returned here.

I'm still trying to determine what direction to take. I've been out and about in public for over 15 years. I'm comfortable with myself and have the support of my spouse. I just don't know where I'm going, I just know I'm headed somewhere. Maybe I'll figure this all out before I die, maybe I won't, but I am surely happier now than ever before.