Hipper sensitive

[Jean 103]

I have been guilty of this many times. It usually happens when I'm not at my best. It doesn't happen to me much anymore as I have learned how to present so it doesn't

Last week I had gotten off early from work. When I got home I put on a bikini and went out back to work on my tan.

I needed to put gas in the car and pick up something to eat for my roommate and me. There is this new burger place across from the gas station and has malts. I don't care for them but my roommate does.

They are very busy, there is no drive thru so you have to park and go in. I order the food and get this mental block, I know that there is something else. After a few seconds it comes to me and a chocolate malt. He hands me a cup as I order a fountain drink and sirs me.

My hair is long but flat as I didn't shower just put on my nails and makeup. I'm in short shorts, tank top and wedges as it is hot.

I bite my tongue, take the cup' turn and head over to the fountain. I look around for somewhere to wait, the only place is a bench right in front of this guy. I sit down, cross my legs and hang the purse on my knee. I do this all the time, normal for me.

I have girly tattoos that only show in girl mode, like a humming bird on the back of my right shoulder and a large one on my right thigh that you can see part of when I'm in short shorts, so you can see a monarch butterfly.

Also sense I'm sitting lower than him he can see down my top and see that I have breasts.

I pull out my phone that is in a purple case that happens to match my nails. I'm telling myself to just let it go, don't make a scene.
They have those vibrating pucks to tell you that your order is ready. It goes off, at the same time he says "your order is ready MA'AM". I stand, say thank you and pick-up my order.

Causing a scene is not me at all. I have never made a scene and really don't think I ever will. I have only ever taken action once. I detail it here years ago. I fired an email to the head corporate office. I got a call from the local restaurant owner. We had a long talk, he is a very nice man. The employee had sired me with malice, I can tell the difference. This guy had not, that is why I kept telling myself to just let it go.

[Tracii G]

You did the right thing Jean.
People make mistakes when they are busy or have other things on their minds.
I have let it go so many times in the past I have lost count.

[Crissy 107]

Hi Jean, I think you handled it very well. I know my first instinct is to say something but sometimes we are better served by not. I do think it is hard to keep quiet at times.

[Macey]

If it wasn't with malice, it was meant with respect. Even if it was a mistake. Good on you for keeping your cool, hun!

[kimdl93]

People misspeak all the time. I can?t seem to get peach and pear straight, even though I know that peaches are fuzzy and pears are, well, pear shaped. But invariably, when I?m trying to say ?peach?, I?ll ?correct? myself and say ?pear?. I?m not dumb or suffering from dementia. I think my brain does this to mess with me.

[alwayshave]

Jean, I would have held my self back from saying anything. Once, at a meetup with 50 or so other CDers, I was asked by the waiter "what can I get you man." Discretion is the better part of valor.

[April Rose]

A lifelong crossdresser, I have gotten pronouns wrong at TCNE meetings with personal friends. I certainly would never do it on purpose, but people make mistakes.

Unless you are absolutely certain there was malign intent, it's best to just let it go.

[Teresa]

Jean,
I guess I've been lucky and never had a misgendered comment but saying that I still trip up sometimes at my social groups as some come in drab and change for a few hours and then disappear in drab , to be polite what do you call them as they have no intention to transition ?

While it's not an excuse sometimes I think of their lives and wonder if they are living with issues , if a female has a CDing partner and hates it how forgiving is she going to be with you ? Again , a young guy could have a CDing father or brother and can't come to terms with it , I'm sure he's going to struggle to give you a female label . Not professional I know but maybe we shouldn't judge too hastily .

[Jean 103]

People do make mistakes, I understand and it doesn't upset me.

I have heard my friends correct other friends who have used the wrong pronoun with me.

My close friends will address me with female pronouns no matter how I am dressed.

I find this doesn't happen when I wear a dress, always my first choice but not always practical.

[JenniferMBlack]

It all comes down to intention. Poeple will use the wrong pronouns out of habit some times. They aren't looking to call anyone out or degrade you just not thinking. I have done it to genetic females more then a few times.

[abbiedrake]

Jean you did just peachy. Misgendered then levered at?! Just wow. Can't win huh?
You were right to let things slide. These were not hills to die on.
Good for you!

[Ozark]

In a grocery checkout line:

"Look, that man is wearing women's clothes", said young child to parent.

"Hush" said the mother.

"That's ok, lots of people make that assumption, don't worry about it."

[Jean 103]

My roommate and I were at the mid state fair. My roommate is disabled can walk a little but is on a scooter. We had stopped to eat again. She asks a couple if we can share a table and they say yes. My friend needs to use a restroom. So I get up and go and scout one out.

After I had left the table the man leaned over and said to his wife, "that's a man in a dress" . My roommate heard him and smiled.

When I returned it was the same as I had left. My roommate told me latter.

I didn't and still don't care. I'm out and I know who I am.

[phili]

I think most people who are antagonistic are hiding their own TG feelings from themselves- so on the rare occasion if someone is malicious I am not bothered- I think to myself- 'hi, sister! I hope you come out soon! "

People learn that the male female classification is the first thing you do, and it is supposed to be based on genital anatomy- so unless they have been schooled in the niceties of pronouns they default to anatomy, and I can't blame them! Once you know people, like Jean knows her friends, it is clear for everyone what to do.