My wife, "so a coworker knows about Stephanie"

[ChelsiR]

So full disclosure, I reverted back to Stephanie as my name. I changed to Chelsi to hide my identity but IDC now.

I know complaining about this, is not going to be received well. But damn my wife just is horrible with secrets. She's told many people that I go out dressed in drag. In hindsight I'm happy with it because I've really grown out of my shell. Many of my friends know and her family is super supportive.

The silver lining for me is, she wants to go to a drag show with her friends and said Stephanie can come. We don't go out a lot as wife and wife but that's because she doesn't like going out much. So I'll take it I guess lol.

[Macey]

You'll take it? Run with it, hun! A GNO with your spouse and friends? How fun!

Sort of similar here, my wife is sometimes overly proud of me, so all of her coworkers know, lol. This is a relatively new job for her, so I haven't met them yet ? thinking that I'd like to meet them as my feminine self and keep it that way for as long as possible, lol

[alwayshave]

Stephanie, That is good news for you. Have fun.

[Lara A]

My ex wife could not keep a secret, and after I came out to her in '97, she took it very well and encouraged me to be fully me. We discussed her telling people, and she did agree to not tell anyone without checking with me, especially close family. That did not last long tho. First I think it was to be able to simply share something so challenging in need of support, but then it seemed she just told everyone, and before I knew it, all her family and my family were told. News travels fast! She even told my daughter without telling me, which I was very angry about.
In the long run, it was OK, because it was just me after all, and I soon learned who my true friends were. My daughter even thought it was kind of cool. I only wish I had a say in it all.
As it happened, she was having an affair at the time, and I believe that she was storing some ammunition for the inevitable split. Thankfully this was entirely amicable when it did come. I am still close with her, even tho we do not see each other more than once in a decade or so!

[Micki_Finn]

Drag is something pretty specific, and if you’re actually doing drag, then you made a poor choice to not be noticed. But if you’re wife is simply outing you as a crossdresser... well you should have a talk to her about how that’s not appropriate. However it does sound as if she’s been making wise choices in whom she tells your secret if they all have been supportive. By your own admission you appreciate the support, so maybe just keep trusting your wife to make wise decisions? I also don’t know if I would reference going out as “wife and wife”. That could be off-putting to her.

[Taylor186]

From a conversation with my wife a while back.

Me: You are the only one who knows of my crossdressing.
Wife: A lot more people know than you think know.

After the initial shock of this news wore off I found this knowledge strangely liberating/empowering. Well, that and being comfortably retired. At this point none of these "more people ... than you think know" have mentioned anything to me.

[Robertacd]

. As I have said often my wife is more comfortable with me dressed than I am and sometimes I need a little push otherwise I would be still hiding at home.

I have come to depend on her support and encouragement.

[ChelsiR]

Going out in drag seems slightly more accepting able than crossdressing. So ill take it.

[Tracii G]

Might be a good thing or a bad thing.
You will just have to weigh the pros and cons.
I was dating a lady (platonic) back in 08 and she was supportive and she told her co workers.
A few of the women wanted to go to a drag show and asked me to dress up and go with them.
I was skinny and semi hot at that time BTW.LOL
I did and it was fun for the most part but when her company summer picnic came( I was in guy mode) I caught all kinds of hell by some of the husbands of the ladies that went to the drag show.
They accused me of sleeping with their wives and all sorts of nonsense that never happened.
Essentially the women had used me to get back at their husbands for Lord knows what but I felt used.
I stopped being friends with that woman over it.
Women have ulterior motives for everything they do so tread carefully.

[JuliaGirl]

My biggest fear of ever telling my wife at 56 is not so much the rolled eyes, "ewww", and subtle/snide mockery, it's that she'd just tell anyone she knew with out considering my own feelings about XYZ knowing. And since she's dependent on me as the sole wage earner, and I'd have to be around that slightly tainted atmosphere, it seems safer here, closeted, methinks.

She's not especially subtle in her feelings (no slight on eastern European women in general) ... but then again .. maybe she'd get excited by the whole notion? No, previous general comments have indicated otherwise.

:sad:

[Allison Chaynes]

My wife has told some of her coworkers without my knowing until way after the fact. I think it's her way of trying to find something in common with her LGBTETC co workers.

[Angie G]

I'd love a GNO with my wife and friends.:hugs:
Angie

[Maria 60]

Wow! I wish I had your problems. Lol

[ChelsiR]

My wife is the opposite of me, super tomboy lol

[Kelly-o]

Well I am not a fan of outing anyone that does not give permission but it seems in the end it worked out for the best for you so I am happy for your news and adventure.

[lingerieLiz]

While I was out to people before I was married I hid it for a few years after I went to work for a new company and location. My wife outed me to all her friends at lunch one day. As it turned out we didn't loose any of them. I know they told their husbands, but only one man asked me about it and it was simply a question. Many of the women went on shopping trips where I was along and purchased women's clothes including lingerie. We often discussed and showed each other what we purchased. Where we live neighbors know. It is nice not to have to hide. I don't wear dresses anymore, nor do the women in my age group. We all have them. They are only worn for special occasions where I don't so I don't compete with the bride etc. but thats about it.

[BTWimRobin]

Have fun with it! My wife knows an as far as I know she has not told anyone. She is good at keeping secrets an is not the chatty, gossipy type.

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Oh hun, the fun has just begun!!! My girlfriend will ask me first if it's ok to tell someone, but if she knows they're accepting and trans themselves she will kinda steer us toward a conversation. She understands my need to find like minded people.

Take this blessing you've been given and run with it baby!!! Just be careful if you're running in high heels lol that's a bit tricky

[abbiedrake]

Damn. In my family it's me with the mouth that runs. It's my wife who hears 'so I told so and so'. Much to her chagrin.

So , happy days, Stephanie. You go girl!

I'll happily admit the above is contingent on you being ok with what your wife did.With my own wife she would never out me cos of her own embarrassment. But if she was of a mind to, I would be fine with it. I gave her the secret. But I also gave her my life 20 years ago. I trust her to balance one against the other and decide the best.

And Tracii, I'm sorry to hear you got used but I felt "Women have ulterior motives for everything they do so tread carefully." may have been a tad much. I was sure you were dead set against generalisations. 😜

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Damn. In my family it's me with the mouth that runs. It's my wife who hears 'so I told so and so'. Much to her chagrin.

So , happy days, Stephanie. You go girl!

I'll happily admit the above is contingent on you being ok with what your wife did.With my own wife she would never out me cos of her own embarrassment. But if she was of a mind to, I would be fine with it. I gave her the secret. But I also gave her my life 20 years ago. I trust her to balance one against the other and decide the best.

And Tracii, I'm sorry to hear you got used but I felt "Women have ulterior motives for everything they do so tread carefully." may have been a tad much. I was sure you were dead set against generalisations. 😜
I am that same person with that same news for my girlfriend lol so I told so and so today or so and so stopped by before I could change and yeah she just gives me the look and tells me she loves me.

Ignore the negativity lol I was used and abused by a woman but I will not revisit the sins of one person on another. Especially if they have zero connection to one another outside of you. I just block and ignore the negativity lol less headaches

[CayleeMarie]

Well I don?t have to worry about my wife keeping our secret. She is so afraid of someone finding out, that if someone we know finds out, it will set up a worst case scenario chain of events the ends with the universe doing sucked into a massive black hole. So, I would have to say that it would be me that would be outing Caylee...

[KymG]

Friends don't keep secrets either.
I told one, and one only, about 6 or 7 of them now know, but 'apparently' only 3 know.
Point is that word spreads easily.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephanie :hugs:, It sounds like you are really out there now and there is no turning back anymore.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[Bobbi46]

Enjoy your new found freedom it can be quite liberating to say the least, the ease I have here in my little hamlet and up in the village is amazing.

[Sabrina133]

Stephanie,

Thats great!! Enjoy it and have fun together.

Bree

[Leelou]

I agree with those that have said that this is a big positive. I see it as part of her wonderful acceptance of your crossdressing. It truly is liberating to be out. I was out to my first wife in my early 20's and she ended up talking to one of her friends and simply needed someone to talk to about it. It quickly ended up with our entire group of friends knowing and it was great being out of the closet that early in my life. I was never upset with her for talking to a friend because I understood why she needed to talk to someone, and I didn't ask her not to tell anyone.

I knew even back then that it's never fair to swear someone to secrecy when coming out to them.