Why is looking completely female so important?

[stephyrcd]

Hi all,

New member been lurking for a few years and dressing for a lot longer. But as I look around it seems that the onus is on passing or being a complete woman. I have no desire to pass, no desire to look completely like a woman, I enjoy the clothes and the feelings they bring out in me, but do not find it something that I have to have daily. I underdress when I feel like it and have for years. I am comfortable with myself, but occasionally the doubts surface. When I go looking for others like me to seek support, it seems like crossdressing is not just dressing anymore it is fully dressing and trying to pass. I have a female account name, because even lurking I felt pressured by the community (Internet forums at large not just here) to take a female name, as if that would make me whole. I own a cheaper wig, and have worn, it tried painting nails and some light makeup, just to see, but it never did anything for me.

Why is passing or looking as completely like a woman so important?
When did just enjoying the clothing go out of style or at least seem to fall by the community wayside?
Why does it seem like the crossdressing community (the internet forums at large) is only about passing or transitioning?

Just looking for some others thoughts on this.
Stephy

[Aunt Kelly]

...Why is passing or looking as completely like a woman so important?
When did just enjoying the clothing go out of style or at least seem to fall by the community wayside?
Why does it seem like the crossdressing community (the internet forums at large) is only about passing or transitioning?

Just looking for some others thoughts on this.
Stephy
Dig a little deeper. For many here, it's not at all important. Many of our non-binary friends would take exception to being lumped in with those of us whose expression is binary. Likewise, there are a lot of fetish dressers here; those for whom it's all about the clothes, or particular articles of clothing, or shoes, etc.

[Teresa]

Stephy,
If you've lurked for many years maybe you should know the answer .

To those of us who need to present totally female 24/7 the CDing part is only part of the equation , to me it's a window to the World of my inner feelings . It comes down to how bad your dysphoria is , now I'm comfortably full time I've acheived a balance with it . To look acceptable as a woman means I can integrate with society , I can go about my daily life without any problems . Nowdays male mode feels like CDing .

If you feel under pressure maybe you haven't come to terms with Cding or being TG yet . I'm so grateful I had to adopt a femme name when I joined here , luckily the forum accepted the female version of my male name , now I use it all the time or Terri , my GP surgery and blood donation centre are happy to accept that change . I still enjoy the clothing , it's wonderful to have the choices any woman has . When I first joined the forum I assumed every CDer would want to transition , being hidden away in the closet was like solitary confinement for me .

When you are born with this female trait which in my case nearly cost me my life , I knew I had to come to terms with it , it's taken most of my life and cost me my marriage but I'm now finally happy , for me it's social transition the question of passing doesn't matter , I'm accpeted as Teresa that's what is important , I'm not playing at it , it's fundamental to my life .

[Sometimes Steffi]

While I would like to pass, I realize that it's pretty much impossible for me.

But, when I'm out, I do like to be full female. That's how I love looking and feeling, but it's also easy to explain to anyone. I love the colors, the feeling and the different styles that I can wear as a woman, and I try to look as womanly as I can. With no disrespect meant, I don't know how I could justify being a MIAD to myself. If I can't understand it myself, I don't know how I could explain it to anyone else.

[docrobbysherry]

Stephy, I think u have a lot of company in the trans community. Check out the non binary section here and you'll see many dressers who don't care to pass or be viewed as a woman.

I've personally met a number of men who r quite satisfied to throw on a dress, etc. and go out. No make up, wig, forms, etc. Most of them tend to be quite a bit younger than the T's I meet at T events and venues, tho. Us older girls r pretty binary. We wish to look like the women we grew up with and envied!:daydreaming:

And, like Steffi above? I HATE Seeing a MIAD in my mirror!:doh:

[Kelly-o]

Hi Stephy,

No worries to each their own. There is a huge spectrum of people around. I personally prefer going all girl but sometimes I can't or frankly I am too lazy to do make-up and a wig sometimes but still dress comfy at home. But that being said I love to look as good as possible when I do dress. Honestly wearing panties or stockings does nothing for me personally but when I am fully dressed I feel it.

I have come across a lot of places where guys dress but don't want to pass or anything. The only thing that really matters is that you are comfortable with yourself which it sounds like you are.

[Tracii G]

The simple answer is its not.
Its a big wide world out there with all different kinds of people in it.

[Patience]

Stephy:

You shared your dressing preferences, but didn’t disclose whether you go out dressed or not.

For those of us that do go out dressed, emulating females as closely as possible also has a safety component. People who hate gender nonconformists like ourselves (or at least like me) are less likely to act on those feelings if they believe that woman they’re seeing is an actual woman.

[lingerieLiz]

When I was young, I enjoyed passing. I liked the clothes girls wore and wanted to be as good looking as I could. Being a girl was fun, but I also liked being a guy. There are so many paths as we progress through life. In the past I dressed and acted like a woman. Over the years what I wanted changed. I enjoyed the clothes and liked shopping with my women friends. Now I don't wear makeup and seldom a dress. I'm like the women my age where we live. Most don't wear makeup. I wear the same clothes they do. They know who I am and I'm accepted in our community. I wear women's tops, jeans, shoes, and underdress including wearing bras.

[abbiedrake]

Stephy, you're not alone.
There are those of us who seldom, if ever, go full femme.
As Kelly points out, NB folk, like me, can shift or stay in between. I've grown more and more comfortable presenting in a hybrid fashion. Usually pretty masculine but with a number of femme touches. And that presentation represents me.

Enjoy your clothes your way. There are no CD police. Thank god!!

[ellbee]

Well, it must have been a *really* long time ago that it was only just about the clothes.

Because I remember back in the late '90s (over 20 years ago, for the math-impaired :heehee: ), being on the "high-speed" 56K dial-up internet & checking out the West Hollywood "neighborhood" of GeoCities... You know, where the CD'ers & TS's hung out online, each with their own little personal website. Heck, I had one, myself!

And yeah, from what I remember, pretty much *all* the girls there had pics of themselves completely dolled-up. :battingeyelashes:


Anyway, I believe part of it, is that many here (and perhaps elsewhere) are in "pretty deep." Otherwise, why bother to spend more than a few minutes, at best, sharing any of it?

Take, for instance, a simple thread on Reddit. Some regular hetero vanilla guy admits that he once tried on his GF/wife's yoga pants -- and discovered for himself why so many GG's wear 'em... Because to his pleasant surprise, they're comfy as all heck! And now, apparently he wears them behind closed doors, just chilling out while watching TV or something. Heck, he likes them so much, that his GF/wife even bought him a couple pairs of his own!

And... That's it. End of story. He's not going to ruminate about it online all day, every day. Why? Because he's just a dude who sometimes wears yoga pants in the comfort of his own home. Does he consider himself a crossdresser? Probably not. Is he going down some sort of "slippery slope," only to find himself transitioning in a couple years? Again, probably not.

After all, he's just a regular vanilla dude who sometimes wears yoga pants in the comfort of his own home. ;)

Just a guess, but I bet there's a lot more of that kind of stuff that's been going on all over the place... Only that you or I or anyone else, for that matter, probably ain't gonna be hearing much about it. :shush:



Personally, it stopped being just about the clothes, when I was 13 years old... As that's when I started getting into make-up (thanks for letting me steal your stash, Mom! :thumbsup: ). And I wasn't just goofing around -- I was taking it seriously. What else is a young teen with little money in his pockets going to do while dressed in home-made chick-clothes & stolen pantyhose with a fully made-up face, as the rest of the family was out for a few hours? Why, throw on a make-shift wig (black, brown or tan t-shirt :heehee: ) and "style" it up! BOOM! Just crossed the divide (as crude as it was, LOL). Again, I was 13 years old... Which was a long time ago, well before the public internet & latest trans-craze. :o

And here I am today! :wave:



That said...

I kinda agree with you, at least in part, as I do believe a good chunk of what we see out there, especially among some of the younger crowd, is sorta a "competition" to them, if you will. Who can look the prettiest, the most legit, etc. "Oh, she had laser hair-removal? Pfft... What a little bitch! Well, I'll see your laser, and raise you some HRT. What do you think of them apples, hon!" And it only escalates from there.

One way to liken it, is as a dramatic bidding war at an auction. Participants get waaaay too caught up in it, in the heat of the moment. Gotta out-do the other gal, after all... Can't let her beat you! Otherwise, they probably wouldn't have gone half as far as they have, without that. Can they even truly "afford" it? I do believe that at least for some, they may very well be heading down a path that's ultimately not the correct one for them, in the long run. And should that be the case, will they even recognize that somewhere down the road? Maybe, maybe not.



Finally, I still love getting all dolled-up -- from time to time, that is. Years/decades ago, I used to do it a *lot* more... And I took it to more "extremes," for lack of a better word. But nowadays? I can take it or leave it. Never goes away completely forever, at least for me. But at the same time, I can also sometimes be content simply by throwing on a pair of girly running shoes while otherwise presenting as a guy... Plus it's a lot less effort! :heehee:

As others have already mentioned, there is a wide variety here, believe it or not, when it comes to all this. So, feel free to make yourself at home! :)

[CayleeMarie]

I'm sure that as you review the posts here, there as many answers and points of view to your question as there are members. For each of us it is a unique expression of identity or presentation. For me, at home, I am perfectly okay with MIAD from the neck down. And as long as the comments from my wife are, nice, or I'm jealous, or this doesn't fit me right you can have it, I'm thrilled to have that space for Caylee to be free. As for being outside of the house, since I live in ruralish North Georgia, I really want to be blended enough to not draw too much attention to myself by looking like Klinger on MASH.

[susan54]

I wear dresses nearly all the time except when I am working, rarely skirts and tops, always with bra and forms, and full jewellery. I only wear make up and a wig to go out fully dressed as a woman. But I also go out as a man in a skirt or even a dress (no bra or breast forms). When I go out with a dress and breast forms and wig the idea is to make as good a woman as I can. It is acting and it is fun. At no point in my life do I imagine I am a woman. I have to look elegant and I think I do but I always wear glasses because I can't do good eye make up. I also do a woman's walk and talk when I fully dress up. Again I say it is acting. It is not fetishistic - I do not get off on it. I just enjoy it. It is fun. Best of all is getting positive remarks about how I look from women. I also enjoy being a man and everything I do to enhance my appearance as a woman - hairless legs, chest and armpits, is concealed when I am dressed in male clothes as I do not wear shorts. It is why I will not shave my arms and have to wear long-sleeved dresses or cardigans or jackets. Everyone is different. So when I go out how women see me is important to me but how men see me is irrelevant. I love my look to be appreciated by women, especially so by women who have taken care over how they look themselves. I am very fortunate to have a very elegant GG friend who is happy for me to be with her in public however I am dressed. Only about 5% of our conversation is about clothes.

[Jean. Ann]

I think the more I look like a real woman ,
the easier it is. Most seem to appreciate the effort
time and trouble I go to to achieve the look. .
And that I have gone so far in trying to experience some of feminity .
By making that effort , I appear not as a man
making fun of women, but someone truly
interested in the clothing , makeup
and life style


JAS

[Ressie]

It's interesting how some of us evolve throughout the years and decades. Starting with one article i.e. panties, slowly adding more clothes, trying wigs, makeup etc. Yet I've noticed lately that some younger gurls start out dressing completely from the start. Within a few months some are going out dressed doing their best to pass.

I started going to a support meeting and going to a biannual TG event about 7 years ago. Nearly everyone that goes to the meetings and events dresses completely, makeup and all. A few have more of an androgynous presentation but not many. So there is some peer pressure but you have to be yourself.

Crossdressing is wearing women's clothing even if it's underdressing or wearing only panties. I was a bit surprised nearly 12 years ago to see most members here were emulating females, not just crossdressing. And they've had some influence on me even though I experimented with wigs and makeup long before.

I never thought I'd dress in public! I've gotta say it's been cathartic meeting other TGs and CDs and stepping out with the intention of passing. But it isn't for everybody. I don't dress in public very much at all. Don't really have much time for it and it isn't that important to me. But that could change. I'm still evolving after 50+ years of this.

[Georgina]

Every day, when I finish work, I bathe and change my clothes. I don't change back into male clothes, always female clothes, either dress or skirt with full underwear, stockings and shoes. I don't often bother with make up. I do not consider evenings as dressing sessions or being female. It's just my choice of clothes and I carry on doing ordinary things. What pleases me most is the choice and range of clothing that this allows. I find some days, at work, I am trying to decide what to wear later. I would say that I rarely suffer from boredom.

[Stephanie too]

I'm happy to see so many people here have figured this out. I'm 60 and new to this. I can't explain my recent obsession with this. About two months ago I found a local makeup artist to make me look like an age appropriate woman. I loved it! I brought clothes along and was thrilled to go out for the first time as a woman. I have always been closer to woman. Never had any male friends. I simply love looking feminine. I only wish I had like minded friends to share this with. I'm sure I will. All in good time.

[Robertacd]

Well speaking for myself. I am transgender, I have always hated my GM body and how I look. Now I have been told I am a good looking guy but I don't see it. When I dress as a woman I like the way I look and the more feminine my appearance the more I like it and the more I like being me.

[Tracii G]

Trans here too so being completely female in appearance completes the way I feel inside.
Essentially it makes me feel normal. I dress more in a casual fashion because that the kind of person I am.
You are more than welcome to dress and feel anyway you want.
For some it seems to be a competition because they will tell you what brand/designer of clothes and shoes they are wearing and how much they paid for them. Thats fine too if that makes them happy.

[Stephanie47]

I'm not a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist so my reasoning may not valid for anyone but myself. I do not know why I do what I do. I wish I had the answer to why I am drawn to wearing women's clothing. That aside, if I am drawn to wearing women's clothing at a particular moment, it is all or nothing. There are some limitations. I do wear a wig because male pattern baldness has claimed my hair. I do not see any bald women out in the wild. I do see many older women my age wearing wigs due to thinning hair. I do not glam myself up with makeup. On a rare occasion I do use light makeup. Look around. How many women at and about doing chores or light socializing glam themselves up? Not too many. There is a wide range of clothing worn by women. I am a "dresses only" person. However, I see many, including my wife, who rarely wear a dress. For most it is comfort and functionality; jeans and tops.

For me, when I feel the need to be someone other than my male self I have to go "all in." Otherwise, what's the point? Yes, I love the clothes. However, in my male self I also love colors and creativity. I am not a bland male dresser. As a professional I never wore a white shirt and red tie. It was dress shirts of all colors of the rainbow and creative ties. That's my nature. If my inner self is trying to express my concept of a woman, then I have to act the part. One can do whatever they want to do, but, I see no point to sitting around with a beard and hairy legs if I have the opportunity to be clean shaven. Perhaps, keeping the beard is nothing more than sitting on top of the fence wondering what side to fall off into; the male or female side. Is the subconscious trying to counteract the natural feelings? There are many comments on threads concerning wives who will tolerate their husbands wearing women's attire, but, stopping at the wig and makeup. Why? I suspect they are viewing the women's garb as nothing for than clothes. Throw on the wig and makeup and a little hip movement when walking and then the hubby is entering a world greater than "just the clothes." It's hubby abandoning his male persona. That's a big deal for many women.

I see a lot of angst in many threads. I have always functioned well as a male. I have no desire to stop being a male. If I was born a female that would have been alright too, except, for all the crap that is heaped upon women. Ugh!

[Sallee]

Steph I guess we are all different So you have to accept your desire to dress as you wish not how people wish you would dress. I can only speak for myself. I like to pass completely when I go out yet I do not wish to transition or do hormones. I just wish to pass when I go out. I guess I like to pass, I tend to dress down when out, jeans, flats just enough make up to keep the illusion real. Thats me and my cross dressing. I see transitioning as harmful to the rest of my life even if it were not I don't think I would want to transition. Looking female when dressing is who I am on the outside. I am still me on the inside and if I am not looking in a mirror I can't see how I am dressed. All I know is I enjoy crossdressing and can spend hour trying different outfits and playing with makeup and I do like going out to see how well I pass and I pretty much know I pass only some of the time and that is probably because no one cares how you are dressed. So have fun with it do what you like and enjoy yourself.

[Amelie]

Speaking only for myself.

For me it's not a matter of looking like a complete woman as much as it is being a complete woman. The clothes for me are secondary to how I am on the inside.

I dress different ways for different occasions. If I take pics or vids I will look different than if I sit and watch tv. When I use to go out I'd dress the way I feel at the time.
I mostly post pics of me what I feel is my most womanly style if that makes sense. I'm not going to post a pic of me after a goat kicked mud in my face. The way I dress is different if I am in the garden or at a night out. But all the time I am the same person on the inside, I am a woman. The clothes are secondary.

PS-I am also a goth and such I am required by goth law to wear heavy make up.

PS-2- I will never post or talk about passing. It does not matter to me so that word is not used by me.

[Joyce Swindell]

I don't usually get fully dressed in fem... hair, makeup...etc.. for sitting around the house. But when I plan on going out I dress completely just to be more comfortable with myself in public. I'm not a showy personally kind of person as a general rule. I have been on stage in plays but that is the time for that.
Otherwise, I dress in whatever clothes I feel like given my surroundings. If we are having company.then under dressing maybe.

[Aunt Kelly]

...I do believe a good chunk of what we see out there, especially among some of the younger crowd, is sorta a "competition" to them, if you will. Who can look the prettiest, the most legit, etc. "Oh, she had laser hair-removal? Pfft... What a little bitch! Well, I'll see your laser, and raise you some HRT. What do you think of them apples, hon!" And it only escalates from there.


Not seeing that, AT ALL, and i spend most of my time here in the sections where those topics are most frequently discussed. Now, we can debate the appropriateness of the motivation behind an individual's pursuit of this or that treatment, but I defy you to show me a case where that motivation, for seeking expensive, painful, even dangerous therapies, is motivated by some kind of competition.

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Why does it seem like the crossdressing community (the internet forums at large) is only about passing or transitioning?

I think you are lumping everyone together like you are with all the forums. Not all CDs even use sites like these, let alone feel comfortable sharing their experiences and feelings. You should understand that considering you say you've been lurking for years.

Do you go out in public wearing females clothes only? I love to, others would never dream about it. If I only read posts pertaining to people like me, I'm going to have that specific perception.

If this was a pop music site, think of how it sounds saying I don't get all the people here that feel the need to wear a band shirt to that bands concert. One person's heaven is another's hell.

Lastly, every person on here is at a different place in life, especially in their journey as a CD. For a lot of us, we were at your stage and we felt it just was not enough. It has nothing to do with a herd mentality here. I've noticed most CDs dress in the era that made them feel happy or free. Here on this site, it seems most here are older so the vibe seems to be with the stages of wanting to be passible or more.

I hope this helps or gives you food for thought

[Alice Torn]

As a senior never married guy, and no SO, in a dull small town, one reason is being STARVED for female beauty, and love. i dress up as the very tall attractive lady, i never had any chance to date, court and marry. I am six foot six, too, and like the tall, leggy lady dressed up in the fashions i like. The number of times i went out in public, i know i could never fool anyone up close, but from a distance, maybe. I value my male side now, though for years i hated myself. My dad never wanted sons. After having my sister, he got three unwanted sons. But, i thank him for always providing for us and working. i was kept away form girls and was afraid to talk to them for a long time, did not date until late 20;s and very rarely.

[Angela Marie]

I started fully dressing at age 50, about 15 years ago. I always felt that the female side of me was quite strong. That having been said I do not have any desire to transition, due mostly to societal and familial, issues. The ability to "pass" allows me more latitude to experience my feminine side. But, as many posters have pointed out, the degree of dressing varies widely among us. Each has to find their own comfort level.

[Felicia M]

I only speak for myself when I say it was an evolution.

I began at the age of four with basic hosiery. Then as I grew older and a bit more daring I tried panties and then bras, then shoes, then skirts, then dresses. Eventually I tried lipstick for the first time and it was like all the other things I have tried. It made me giddy and happy inside. Then I tried eyelashes for the first time and my entire world outlook changed LOL.
Seriously though it was a process for me and each step a lovely adventure. I love to look as much the part as I can and see a woman in the mirror. I get to express how I feel within to the outside world. For me I really love that I can pass to at least some degree and it makes me feel wonderful.

Everyone here is on a journey and in different places along that journey. If yours is just being in women's clothes then enjoy it.

[Asew]

I kind of felt this way when I first starting peeking at internet forums. Then again months later when I went to my first girls night out with out CDers. They asked me my name, and told them my given name and they are like what is your girl name, so I said Asew but I never really wanted to be called that or anything, it was just a nickname I used for games all these years (which tended to be female avatars if possible). But they accept that I don't truly strive to look female but at the same time I as far on the female scale as I go on those nights. And those nights were part of how I realized I was non-binary, not wanting to be just male or just female, but a combination of whatever parts of each that I liked (I like the clothes, the painted toes, the long hair, and dislike makeup, fake boobs and the idea of shaving anything but my face).

[Robertacd]

I will give you my take on the whole "passing" thing...

Back when I was just a crossdresser ( that is before I stopped denying that I was actually trans) having the perfect female form and appearance was my obsession and passing %100 as a woman was my goal. I spent a lot of time and money attempting to reach that.

After I came to terms with myself being Transgender, I no longer feel the need to try to pass perfectly. Don't get me wrong I still wear a dress, breast forms, and makeup when I go out. But I rarely wear my hips or butt pads anymore. I don't try to change my voice.

[annecwesley]

It's simple for me. I can't go out of the house comfortably as a man in a dress. I've done that before (in skirts) and I feel I'm drawing too much attention. Disguised as a woman I simply fit in to the crowd in whatever outfit I choose to wear.

[Helen_Highwater]

It did occur to me that one reason you see so many posts about those here who seek to look as feminine as possible is these are the "newsworthy" subjects to post about.

If you're someone who regularly puts on a dress and say femme underwear and stays indoors then posting,"Hey, gess what I did today" isn't really, if you'll pardon me for saying so, that interesting. It pushes no real boundaries and so folks are unlikely to post about it.

If however, you're someone who's been longing to go out and finally gets to experience that thrill then that invites a post, a desire to share your triumph.

Time also plays it's part. How often have you read of starting at an early age with sister's/mom's knickers, moving on over the years to skirts, tops and dresses? Socks for boobs leads to buying first forms. You like what the mirror shows. A wig follows and you see a huge transformation in the person staring back. A corset and hip pads makes you look even better. You're slowly drawn towards looking ever more femme. There's that point where you realise that you're doing a reasonable job of emulating a woman and then adding makeup, that final bit of camouflage brings on the realisation that you look good. But like an athlete, you now want to improve your performance.

Not wishing to reignite the debate but many of us who go out know we don't pass and never will. Our aim is to blend, not to stand out or draw attention. We want to go about our business with as little or no fuss as possible. In looking as femme as we can we achieve that. Also people respond to that more favorably so it's a win win all round.

[BTWimRobin]

Passing as a female is not important to me. Quite honestly it's going to take a lot for me to pass. It's all about how the clothes make me feel.

[sara66]

I think it the natural evolution for me. I started with bras and stocking, then moved to clothes, then heel, then makeup and finally a wig, This was over a 20 year process. It was a lot on time and money just to sit around the house. Going out and trying to blend is just the next step.
Sara

[Victoria_Winters]

Well with me.... I always want to look fully like a girl because I loved the clothes and well I wanted to be Someone other then me. I have a general sense of Dysphoria Bout my life. Not particularly about my sex but life in general. For me it started off as a form of escapism so I wanted to completely look like someone else.

Plus I would love to this beuitiful woman. As I find myself generally not attractive... large nose, huge pores, girly cheek bone structure, huge forehead. So being something/someone that I find as very attractive is well very attractive to me. Not that I turn myself on! Just the feeling of being good looking is pretty euphoric.

My female persona, Victoria, is this smart, funny, beuitiful, and fashionable person that I don?t see my normal self ever really being.

[CynthiaD]

I’m one of those who wants to look female all the time. In my heart I’m fully female, and I want to look like myself. I want to look in the mirror and see a woman looking back at me. When I go out I want others to see a woman and interact with me as a woman. I spent much of my life pretending to be male, and I’m sick of being a fake.

There are others who feel as I do, but I suspect I’m in the minority here. To each her own.

[Micki_Finn]

I think the simple answer for a lot of us on the trans spectrum is that we?re just trying to look like our real selves.

Oh yeah, what Cynthia just said. (Great minds think alike :))

[GeorgeA]

Hi Stephy,

There are as many reason as there are crossdressers. We are all individuals and have our own outlook on crossdressing. What works for one does not for another.

When I joined here I also was asked for a female name which I used for over 9 years. On a few occasions I was referred to as "she" or lumped together with "girls" or "ladies" which I did not feel was proper description of me.

I've been crossdressing for many decades but never experienced "pink fog". I was always a male in women's clothes. never felt that I should be a female or behave like one.

Having a female name and participating in discussions on the forum seemed to me that I am an impostor. The views I expressed were coming from a male point of view and not female. I felt that I should abandon my disguise and come out as what I truly am: a male. A few months ago I changed my user name to reflect who I am.

From that moment all opinions expressed can be seen as coming from a male point of view. I feel now liberated. I am who I am.

It started about two years ago when I wanted to present myself as not a regular crossdresser who impersonates a woman but a man dressed in women's clothes. That's when I created a term: MIAD - a man in a dress to differentiate from female impersonators. I have nothing against those who want to look like women and appreciate their efforts to achieve it.

But I am different and wanted the community to know that while I wear dresses or skirts I have no intention to look like a woman. I want to be and look like a man in a dress. I spend most of my time dressed like that except for a couple of hours a day when I have to go somewhere, wearing trousers but always underdressed.

I guess that answers your question why it is important to look like a woman: not for everybody!

[Stephanie too]

So I guess I fall somewhere between GeorgA and CynthiaD. I like both. There are times I'm out as a "gym rat" man with the tank top exposing the biceps, triceps and shoulders I have worked on for so long and there are times I prefer a dress presenting as a mature "soccer mom" . I like having the ability to choose.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephy :hugs:, For me that's what it is all about ! >Orchid ..0:daydreaming:0..

[5150 Girl]

For me, dressing is manifesting who I am in my heart.

[fun4metoo2004]

For me, the complete look is the only way to go if I am going out. That is not to say I am looking like the perfect woman, but what I consider perfect for my look that I am trying to achieve. I feel better knowing that I am wearing what I look and feel good wearing. If I am called out as a Main in a Dress, then so be it. However thus far I have pulled it off without trying. Confidence in yourself is the key in my opinion. If you go out looking like a drag queen, then that is what people will see. if you go out wearing and looking age and gender appropriate, then I think that should be good enough.

[Jean. Ann]

For me, dressing is manifesting who I am in my heart.

Couldnt have said it better

JAS

[Gaz]

It started about two years ago when I wanted to present myself as not a regular crossdresser who impersonates a woman but a man dressed in women's clothes. That's when I created a term: MIAD - a man in a dress to differentiate from female impersonators. I have nothing against those who want to look like women and appreciate their efforts to achieve it.

George is now my hero. I want to be George when I grow up.

Honestly, as someone who basically echoes everything George mentioned above - I love wearing the clothing, but at no point do I ever feel like a woman - I feel like I have to go from one pigeon hole to another. The "real world" looks at me as a crossdresser and thinks that I must be A, B, C. I'm weird that I wear womens' clothing. I'm a deviant of some sort. I must be gay. It's something we all know, and we're all familiar with. But I also feel that the crossdressing world looks at me and thinks I must be X, Y, and Z. I'm, expected to come up with a feminine name for myself. My desire to wear the things I do because of the inner lady trying to get out, and unless I start shaving my legs and learning makeup techniques, it almost feels like I'm being accused of repressing myself - like the line between crossdressing (the simple act of dressing in clothing made/marketed for the other gender) is somehow becoming blurred with the need to transition towards the female.

Don't get me wrong - there's a tiny curiosity when I've got female clothes on that wonders what I'd look like "all the way", but I feel it as a curiosity (and a rare one at that) and certainly not an urge.

So yep. Like George, looking completely female isn't that important - at least not to everyone.

[Jenny22]

In my head and heart I am a female. That's why I dress as nicely as I can so I can look the part to others.

[Ericka_d]

It is very important. If It wasn't I don't think I would be spending the money on hair styling, eyebrow waxing every month, makeup and the clothes.

[GeorgeA]

I just want to add that after so many years of crossdressing I became so used to it that I no longer consider that I'm crossdressing I just dress not to be naked.

On a reflection I think I'm crossdressing when I leave my house. How is that you may ask? When I go out I wear trousers and that's crossdressing as now I look like most women I see around.

I did an observation once. Of the 30 women going by my house only 4 wore skirts the others various forms of trousers.

So wearing of skirts is no longer crossdressing but wearing trousers is. I'm getting all confused now and better go to bed now.

[Felicia M]

Have to add this anecdote.

Have you ever watched a woman put a scrunchie in her hair? I have always watched and been mesmerized by this simple task that gg's have probably been doing since they were children. And some are sooooo good at it.

Yesterday I decided to try a few different looks with a scrunchie and I was shocked at how this incredibly simple looking task is actually a learned skill. I made a total hash of it lol! Much like makeup or putting on falsies,
or coordinating clothing and shoes it takes practice, practice. practice. It reminded me that looking completely female is work and once you begin the process you realize that there will always be something new to try or
something more to perfect and realize it will always be a process. There are so many intricacies to learn that gg's have just naturally practiced for years and years but the process is mesmerizing and enjoyable to me
all the same.

FM

[Teresa]

George,
I do try and understand the MIAD point of view but please respect those of us who are out in the RW totally as women , we are dealing with our dysphoria and not trying to impersonate women .

[Stacywright]

Completely passing as a girl gets compliments from women you interact with...and who doesn't like being told you look amazing.

[Sallee]

To each their own. I guess. When I dress I like to pass as completely as I can. that just me. I like to see if I blend well and the only heads I turn are guys looking at a good looking women. Good looking women turn my head. I don't know if I do that but I have been mistaken for a woman many times At least thats what I have been told by the people who made the call. I don't want to transition. To me that would take all the fun out of it. I get bored or tried of dressing after several days.
Every one is different some people even like to wear mens cloths a lot of the time, weird.

[Gaz]

George,
I do try and understand the MIAD point of view but please respect those of us who are out in the RW totally as women , we are dealing with our dysphoria and not trying to impersonate women .

To be fair to George though, the question was asked in the crossdressers section, as opposed to the transgendered area - to be honest, I've often wondered the same question as the op about the site, there does seem to be quite a few people in here who have, are, or want to transition.

[Jean. Ann]

I want to experience some of what it feels like to be a genetic woman in different situations. To be treated like a woman
I think to achieve this I need to
Look as much like a woman as possible

JAS

[Mary Lawrence]

My real self is male, always has been, and has been an athletic, rough and tumble one at that. My real self is fundamentally embarrassed by wearing women's garments. At the same time, my real self really likes women's clothing and thoroughly enjoys wearing that clothing. I dress completely, including makeup and forms, not so much to emulate women, but to conceal the fact that my real self is the one wearing, and enjoying wearing, women's clothes. If I can satisfactorily escape detection that I am a male in female clothes, then I avoid the embarrassment of doing so. Convoluted, but close to the truth, I think.

[Gaz]

Convoluted, but close to the truth, I think.
Mary, that is some TRUTH right there.

*stands and applauds*

(And am sure you've heard this before, 'cause gawd knows I have, but there's nothing to be embarrassed about here. You're in good company here, and there's far more of us out there than people think!)

[Yinlingyen]

Looking completely female is very important to me, in fact the most important thing.
I want not only experience the feel of light soft fabric gliding over my smooth skin.
The chance to put on make up, eyelash extensions, gel manicure, pedicure to show off my toes.
I want to be treated like a beautiful woman. I want to experience what it feels like to be admired (if at all possible). I want to experience what it feels like to have men look at me and have certain desire in their hearts,
When I get dressed I don't skip a thing. Its all on head to toe before I go out.
And I admit the process of getting ready to leave home in my new self is so liberating for me.

[GeorgeA]

George,
I do try and understand the MIAD point of view but please respect those of us who are out in the RW totally as women , we are dealing with our dysphoria and not trying to impersonate women .

Teresa,

I do and always have respected all members here. I never criticise or disdain anyone.

I have read most of your posts and know that you are more of a TG than a CD. CDs being men do impersonate women. They do not try to be women, just look like women. Many times it's only infrequently.

A few years ago I had an employee in my shop who was a TG and was treated by me and others as a woman and not a CD.

Good luck with your neighbours.

[Samantha uk]

Hi Stephy
Its not important at all, I mostly just throw something on and in my perfect world I would be able to go down to the shops in my skirt and heels, but because I would then become defined by that, my passing as a female in public is part of the compromise I make to society. By that I mean if society finds it jarring to see me as a roughly shaven man in a skirt and heels then I will compromise by appearing as something they can deal with in a skirt and heels.

Even if I did live in my perfect world there would still be occasions where I would want to go the whole way because I can just about get away with it and I enjoy it. Its as simple as that really. In fact I've just uploaded a vid about the courage it takes to go out in public