Overwhelmed with pink fog

[jenn]

Hey everyone. I am really struggling with my desire to be fem. My spouse knows and is somewhat supportive.

Lately I just cannot get enough girl time. Everytime I am out of the house alone I am wearing something fem. Usually jewelry. I have become quite comfortable expressing as Jenn, but we struggle with it as I have young kids and for many reasons full time just seems far fetched. It would be awesome if there were some here with insight from personal experience both GG and trans/ CD.

Thank you all in advance.

Jenn

[Sometimes Steffi]

Would your wife let you get a pedi (with color)? Or even better, paint your toenails. Just wear socks all the time. You'd be surprised, but a CDer has Xray vision, and can see the painted toes all day long.

[Tracii G]

Like Steffi mentions start doing little things to make you feel good.
Underdress if you wish is always a good start.
Not sure why people look at is as a struggle just do what makes you happy its as simple as that.
Thats the way I did it back in the day and it worked for me.
The only reason its a struggle is perhaps you haven't fully accepted yourself and your desire to dress and you feel its wrong/ gay or un manly.
Its not so learn to accept yourself first.

[Rachel M]

Explain the mystical pink fog to her. Let know it’s a passing fancy that comes in waves and cycles and is sometimes heavier/stronger when she visits. Also let her know it’s part of the balance of who you are. Hopefully you to can reach more understanding for your need to express your inner femme self.

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Hello Jenn,

I hope you have a fun journey getting out and exploring the person you've been all along!

For me it's the toe nail paint, finding a masculine anklete (they do exist) and wearing womens clothes but staying androgynous, and ALWAYS with the women's flip flops lol

I bought a pair of womens cargo shorts for the pockets. They fit snug and cute in all the right places. The strings on the side keep them just below the knee level, so they feel like capris but look like cargos. If you flipped my pocket inside out you'd find a flower pattern. Just like my shoes, I shop in the women's department for everything so I find that fine line unless of course I'm looking for sparkles lol

I'm lucky the fashion for men and women is still tight so I'm able to get away with the tight jeans and shorts look.

I'm taking my first steps towards wearing makeup every day but I wear it when I go out on weekends. We're all still evolving lol have a fantabulous day!

[Allisa]

Are your ears pierced? Is your hair longish? Are your nails longish and maintained? So many options!

[Micki_Finn]

It’s hard to give advice, since I’m not super familiar with your situation. I see a lot of girls who get so frustrated with their situation that it drives them to want to jump in with both feet without looking. So where are you? You say you wear “something” fem whenever you leave the house, but do you ever dress fully when out? How often? Are you really ready to go full time? Have you really thought about all the possible consequences.

We call it the fog because people tend to get lost in it. Remember, that can be fun, but real life decisions require clear thinking and open eyes.

[Tracii G]

It all takes time and a lot of thinking so weigh all your options before you do anything.
With a family to deal with they do come first and your responsibility.

[jacques]

hello Jenn,
Only you can know how fem you wish to be. And from my experience that changes as the years fly by.
You have to have the talk with your spouse sometime and agree about the future; perhaps when the fog clears a bit.
There are many ways to be a bit fem in public without anyone noticing or commenting if they do notice - jewelry, under-dressing, a bit of make up, clear nail polish, pink men's shirts, women's socks ... all of which you can justify if anyone comments if you do not wish to have a confrontation.
Just remember that you are doing nothing wrong. We are doing nothing wrong.
luv J

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Tracii. Maybe u r your own worst enemy/critic!?:Angry3:

I dressed for 12 years after I divorced and no one but me in the house, before I accepted that I wasn't doing something "wrong"!:doh:

[Palaina Nocturnus]

In light of your post, I shaved and put on makeup for the day lol I feel empowered

[jenn]

Thank you all for your insights. I am pretty comfortable with myself in all forms of feminine attire. My real concern is how publicity will affect my family in our community. We are fairly active with school and sports, which is wonderful but sometimes it is tough when alot of people know who you are.

I have been donning something fem everyday. I have been contemplating using mascara regularly.

I guess my concern/ confusion is that I am feeling more and more that I want or need to be full time. As of now I have no desire for SRS, but just a short while ago I didn't feel as strongly feminine.

[Crissy 107]

I think what you have is a natural progression of your feminine side. Hanging out here and reading what others do will give you many ideas/options. Just go at your own pace and you should be ok.

[Stacywright]

It does become obsessive. The important thing is not to become so engrossed that you ignore you so or responsibilities. So long as that's kept addressed have fun being a girl

[BTWimRobin]

For sure the Pink Fog can be overwhelming at times. Being on this forum has taught me how to keep it in check. I have found a balance by keeping my legs shaved, nails manicured, and toes painted. My nails are slightly longer than the average male, shaped feminine and always have a matte clear coat on them. I underdress and use Secret deodorant most days. The agreement I have with my wife is that I can present around the house in whichever gender I want. She has said that she will let me know if she thinks I over did it.

[Stephanie47]

I remember the old Maidenform lingerie ads which went "I dreamed I _________." Fill in the blank. The season is changing. It's fall now. It's cooler and getting colder every day. I've read so many threads on this forum dealing with under dressing as a way to soothe the 'pink fog.' I decided to give it a try. Under my jeans and sweatshirt I wear a bra, panty, camisole and pantyhose, although sometimes I wear a garter girdle and traditional stockings. I am a retiree so I do not have to consider work related issues. I would not suggest wearing as much as I do if you go to work, especially a bra.

If your wife is supportive perhaps she can arrange private time for Jenn by taking the kids to the movies or an outing. I don't know your situation. When our kids were still at home when they were in school I'd take a "therapy" day off from work while my wife was working. Home alone for seven hours usually took care of the angst. However, with some I suspect it would only intensify the angst.

[WendyB]

The Pink Fog is tough. I work from home sometimes and it's tough to stay focused when you think about all the pretty clothes you could be wearing.

Can't tell you how many FexEx and Amazon delivery drivers got to meet Wendy...