So... this happened

[CayleeMarie]

Since I am new in town, I will share a little character development. I have a loving and supportive wife who accepts and supports my dressing. I am in a DLTH (don't leave the house) relationship. So long as I respect that and don't dress in front of the live-in daughter and granddaughters, I can present and dress any way I choose.

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I took a cruise in which my wife approved of my taking some of my more gender neutral women's clothes. So I was able to wear my femme shorts and strappy sandals, and I could under dress in a bra so long as it wasn't lined, padded, or filled. All of this was at her concession, so I was thrilled to get to experience that much. After a couple of days onboard the ship with no one noticing, gawking, or commenting, she finally let go of some of her anxieties and realized nobody really cared what I was wearing. So needless to say a few pics of me were added to our vacation photo album.

So fast forward to a week ago, and we're having dinner with a couple who have been very close to me for the last nearly thirty years and who have "adopted" my wife when she and I got married eight years ago. As I'm reviewing the pictures on my tablet before the big vacation slide show, I discover I have the wrong album, because some of "those" pictures are included. My wife trying not to freak out calmly suggests that we skip sharing those. We manage to make it through without outing me. On the way home we discuss sharing this facet of my personality with them without coming to any conclusion.

Last Monday we're having dinner with the same couple, which is part of our regular weekly routine, and my wife looks over at me and says that I can tell them if I want to. Needless to say, I felt like a little kid who just saw the tree on Christmas morning after Santa Clause had been there. So over the next hour I share my story and my experiences and where I am with all of this. And here is the best part... after I had finished, their response was we really could care less what you wear because regardless of what you are wearing you are still the person we have known and loved all these years. Afterwards I asked them if it would be okay if I presented as Caylee, and they were both open and receptive to the idea. On the way home my wife initiated the conversation on working around the logistics of getting Caylee out of the house with the daughter there. I really am blessed to have such an amazing woman. She has come a very long way.

Sorry for the long read... but I didn't want to leave any of the details out. You ladies are amazing and I appreciate the courage I have gained from your experiences. Yes, I know... take it slow and don't rush or push. Trust me, I really don't want to mess this up.

Report on Caylee's debut to follow...

[Elizabeth G]

Wow Caylee, that's great! I'm looking forward to your follow up:thumbsup:

[Genifer Teal]

Proceed with caution. She may still be deciding how comfortable she is with it. Just because she said it's okay, she might still decide it's not. Give her time. proceed slowly.

[Macey]

Well I'll be wanting to hear the follow up! I'll bet if you and she have planned an outing, she'll want to pick up something nice for you to wear :)

[AllieSF]

Congratulations! Keep up the good work and buy your wife some flowers, perfume or whatever. She deserves it.

[Felicia M]

Lovely and wonderful story Caylee!

[BTWimRobin]

Very cute story. Be sure to do something nice for your wonderful wife. Thanks for sharing.

[Sometimes Steffi]

On the way home my wife initiated the conversation on working around the logistics of getting Caylee out of the house with the daughter there. I really am blessed to have such an amazing woman. She has come a very long way.


I have a small duffle bag that can fit most of Steffi's clothes and other essentials for a day or night outing. I have a DADT wife and can't dress at home. I've dressed in my car, in public bathrooms (behind a closed door and at a friend's house many times, because that's the only way I get to go out.

[GeorgeA]

Caylee wrote:

their response was we really could care less what you wear because regardless of what you are wearing you are still the person we have known and loved all these years.

That should be the motto of crossdressing.

[Crissy 107]

Caylee, Your wife has thought this over and decided to let you have fun, first on the trip and now with your dear friends. You are so lucky but a small word of caution, Genifer may be correct, give her time and proceed slowly. I have first hand experience with this, my wife was accepting and encouraging and then changed her mind to only tolerating this side of me.

[Connie D50]

Wow great news, very nice story have fun would love to see pictures :)

[GretchenM]

In my experience wives are often testing things, running experiments, and gathering information to see if they need to change their mind on something. Men do it too, but I think women are more inclined to be adaptive. So the advice to take it slow and pay close attention to her behavior is very good advice. Attitude changes may appear first in a change of behavior toward you before the real reason for the change is spoken. Crissy's experience is an example - a wife that was supportive at first and then changed her mind. But it can go either way. Non-supportive to supportive. Have fun but be observant.

[Micki_Finn]

I’d advise a bit of caution with your optimism. I’ve heard plenty of stories of people coming out to friends or family, and them saying “that’s great” or “we don’t mind” or whatever, but down the line they distance themselves. What people say to your face isn’t always what they’re saying behind your back.

[Shely]

that's my dream, come true, someday maybe.

[NancySue]

I?m with Micki Finn. Part of our sojourn is expression, going out, and sharing with others. At one time or another, we?ve probably all been tempted to share that part of our lives with others. I have, but have chosen the side of caution. I have a supportive wife, who, along with me still doesn?t understand cding. We agree to keep it to ourselves. How can others understand? I?m not insinuating people are hypocrites, but, some are. Any revelation of something one doesn?t understand will be handled either in a dismissive way, or may cause further research, creating a myriad of questions. People do talk too...?did you know..?? The risk is accented if the relationship goes south.

[CayleeMarie]

Thank you all for all of the encouragement and best wishes. Most of all thank you for the words of caution. I have read plenty of threads about going too fast or acceptance and approval reversing. Believe me I am hypersensitive to every comment, remark, and observation she makes about my dressing.

So, for now the plan is to involve her in the selection of what she would be comfortable with me wearing. As for our friends, they are a couple of very open minded old flower children. We don't share a mutual circle of friends so I don't see any problem with them sharing this with anyone. So long as I keep it conservative and take it slow, I really don't foresee any problems.

Thanks again
Caylee

[Jenny22]

I love long reads like yours, Caylee. Good advice .. go slow.

[giuseppina]

I agree with the posters recommending caution. Moving too quickly often causes drama.