Crossdresser versus trans...what are you?

[Devi SM]

I was a crossdresser for several years but now a transgender.
I'm not going to tell my story or reasons to transition neither the definition of transition but I see that many of us, trans people, were once cds.
What do you think make the difference and what are you?

[Robertacd]

All CD's are Trans.

Because if you weren't even a little Transgender then you probably wouldn't have ever had the urge to crossdress.

[Jeri Ann]

When Devi uses the word Trans I am sure that she is meaning Transsexual. She is a trans-woman and it is common with trans-women to use the word trans for transsexual.

She did use the word transgender but that was probably her computer struggling because English is not its native language. LOL

[Sallee]

I remember hearing the difference between a CD and transgender is 2yrs. I have seen folks that have started transitioned after 2 yrs of toying with crossdressing.
I have been cding 50+ yrs off and on but have never really considered transition at least not for more than a few days.

[Paulie Birmingham]

I am a CD and a very light CD compared to most. Not transgender. Not transsexual. No desire to be a woman. I cant really explain why I dont want to be a woman but I dont.

[Robertacd]

Meh.... You can go back into the archives of this very board and find my posts adamantly arguing that I was just a CD with no desire to be a woman...

I was lying to myself most of all, and I have never been happier once I accepted myself as Transgender.

Does that mean I am going to transition?

Not necessarily...

[jacques]

hello Devi,
I am a man who wears clothes usually worn by women.
That means that others may choose to call me transgender, non-binary or a crossdresser - these are just labels.
I am happy and doing no harm to others. That is more important than labels, I think.
luv J

[Asew]

Both and more :)

[Elizabeth G]

If I had to choose a label I would say I'm transgender. I'm not on a transition path now but there are certainly times when I feel that it would be the right path for me. Then again there are times when thoughts of transition age far from my conscience thought.

My signature kind of sums it up for me. If I were strictly a crossdresser then the clothes would be enough for me. They aren't.

[Lana Mae]

I started as a CD, seeking my feminine side! (Sallee, I am slow, it took 3 years! LOL) I find that I am more Lana Mae than Harry! When I can do my name change, I will be Lana Mae! I am as I told my counselor: a Transgirl! Hugs Lana Mae

[Meeshell]

All CD's are Trans.

Because if you weren't even a little Transgender then you probably wouldn't have ever had the urge to crossdress.

That’s a pretty bold statement, and I’m afraid I must disagree. There is more than one crossdresser, who has no desire to actually be a women, or necessarily even pretend to be a woman. Many are inspired by erotic excitement induced by feminine fashion and form. Others by a desire to be beautiful. Some both. One would have to admit, that many men find beauty in the feminine form and fashion, including clothes, make up, hair, etc. I think, that sometimes, that translates, in some male minds, to feeling a need to emulate women in attempts to feel beautiful about themselves. No desire to be a woman, but, to look like one at times, and feel good about their appearance. Much the same as women, who dress to the nines on occasion to feel “pretty”. It’s, also, hard to argue that there isn’t a certain comfort and satisfaction to the feel of the caress of more traditionally feminine fabrics against the skin.

I’m not arguing that crossdressers in general don’t have a “softer” side, but saying they’re all transgender just isn’t true. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if somebody labels me transgender. I could care less, but I do embrace my masculinity, and wouldn’t give that part of me up for love, nor money.

Just my thoughts
Hugs
MeeShell

[Vikky]

I am a CD and have been active for about 8 years in a DADT situation but had ?feelings? for very many years. I have no plans to trans?? (insert what you want!) but I can see the possibilities.
Vikky.

[Robertacd]

You can deny it and come up with a lot of other explainstions that makes you feel better, but in reality I am right.

Transgender covers everyone here from the occasional fetish crossdresser to the post-op Transsexuals.

[Micki_Finn]

Neither, but thanks for asking.

[Paulie Birmingham]

This always gets to a heated discussion.... but not every CD wants to be a woman. I'd say most dont. For those who want to be... go for it. But dont assume we are like you

[Tracii G]

Why do some constantly try to nit pick and find a label or classification to fit in ?
Isn't that just making things harder on them?

[Robertacd]

It's just human nature Tracii. Everyone either wants to belong to some group they like or differentiate themselves from a group they don't like.

[Nastasha]

I - am me. Not plain, not simple, but me. That said, no I do not want to transition, but I do enjoy wearing the clothes.
We're all entitled to our thoughts and opinions, but in the end, you are you, and I am me.
That ... that ... is the reality.

[Tracii G]

Maybe that is true Roberta but seems to me that is the crux of why they have so many problems dealing with their trans ness.
This never ceasing need to fit in and to be part of a group or classification.
The spectrum is so large they may never figure out where they fit so its constant searching and stress making their life hell.

[dallasmann]

I was a crossdresser for several years but now a transgender.
I'm not going to tell my story or reasons to transition neither the definition of transition but I see that many of us, trans people, were once cds.
What do you think make the difference and what are you?
I think I've changed over time, but I cannot swear to it. I liked bras and wanted boobs from the time I was young, but I did not think of myself as a girl until I was much older. I did an experiment for a class in college and enjoyed it and that was my first time seeing myself as a woman. That's more than 20 years ago now and I'm completely ok moving to and fro on the gender spectrum. Some days, I am just a CD, other days I feel as a woman, and some other days I'm just a guy who likes pretty things.

[Jodie_Lynn]

You can deny it and come up with a lot of other explainstions that makes you feel better, but in reality I am right.

Why? Because you say so? I disagree. There are dozens of threads on this forum extolling the wonders of panties, girdles, hosiery, or bras. Sometimes in combination, sometimes a single article of clothing. Some of these folks will never, ever expand their wardrobe, because those articles are fetishes for those people. And they are satisfied with that, and there is nothing wrong with that practice. And how many threads about "underdressing" are there?

We have people on these boards who swear that they will never, NEVER!, wear women's pants or jeans. Why? Is it because they associate pants with masculinity or male clothes? Clothes have become gendered, even though clothing itself is genderless. Would you claim that a GG who wore jeans, slacks or trousers (cut for a woman's body, for you pickers of nits) as a crossdresser? Or as transgendered? Would you claim that a Scotsman, wearing a traditional kilt is transgendered?


Transgender covers everyone here from the occasional fetish crossdresser to the post-op Transsexuals.

Pardon me, but you are mistaken. That is like saying that everyone with red hair is Irish, or that everyone who likes tea is English. Or that the GG woman who owns a pair of shiny PVC thigh-high boots is into BDSM. Or that every woman with short hair is a lesbian.

I am NOT saying that transgendered people are above or better than crossdressers, or worse, for that matter.

But there is a vast difference between the crossdresser who dresses because "it feels good", 'it feels taboo', or because they just like it, to a transgendered person trying to live their life the best they can and be authentic to themselves and how they see themselves.

[Tracii G]

See what I mean the spectrum is so huge there may no answer for some.

[Alice Torn]

I am one who detests thongs. Others love them. I admit that i do fantasize about being a woman a lot, and there were times, if i had had the money, i may have sought SRS. I still have fantasies about if i had been female, and i like being admired for my finished look all dolled up, and would like to meet gentlemen, for non penetration play, but reality is i need to stay male for a number of good reasons. I need my guy self, in spite of its not much fun being an unwanted older single man.

- - - Updated - - -

Dallasmann, You said it for me, too. I can very much relate with your experience.

[Jodie_Lynn]

The spectrum is so large they may never figure out where they fit so its constant searching and stress making their life hell.

The spectrum is "so large", only because we want to include everyone under the umbrella of transgender. It's very PC to include anyone who crosses gender boundaries as "one of us", but in reality, How much does a transwoman (or man) have in common with the person who wears only a single "genderized" piece of apparel, in the privacy of their own home, when no one else can see? How does a person who wears ONLY "specific brand, make, model, and color" of panty, relate to the person who gets up, shaves arms, legs, torso, picks out an outfit, fixes hair & make-up and ventures forth into the world, and presents as the gender they were NOT assigned at birth?

Is the male who paints his toenails bubblegum pink, and then buries those toes in heavy socks & work boots, transgendered? Is he a crossdresser? Or is he just someone who feels 'edgy' crossing gender boundaries?

- - - Updated - - -


I did an experiment for a class in college and enjoyed it and that was my first time seeing myself as a woman. That's more than 20 years ago...

OK, ya can't leave us hanging like this, dish!

[NjJamie]

Tracii, I think the answer(if there ever is just one answer to these questions!) is that no matter where any member of this group falls on the spectrum, we do see we are somewhat different from the rest and are trying to understand why we're doing what we're doing.

I had a great time on Sunday and am working up a post to share it. I had the time to enjoy my "hobby" and went a bit further than the last time I got all pretty. Though I truly enjoyed myself I can't really say why it was such an awesome experience. I think all the self questioning is a part of trying to understand and possibly explain why I enjoy it. Each member seems to have a different goal or enjoyment, but we all have the same general tendencies to simplify complex issues, slap a label on something and move on.

I'm all for the discussions if they help anyone feel better about themselves,knowing they're not completely alone; I know that's what I get from reading and posting.

- - - Updated - - -

Dallas, along those lines I can remember back to when I was about 12 and using some bathtub foam to see what it might look like to have breasts, not sure where that would place me on the spectrum but I know I enjoyed it! About the same time I had started wearing "borrowed" underwear which relatively quickly progressed to full out dressing whenever I could manage to be home alone.

Some of my best memories were the times I pretended to be sick and spending the day progressing from nightgown (with a nap!) to lingerie to complete dressing with make-up and nail polish and that was all in about 3 years. Anyone watching the progression would likely say I changed but I only see it as the logical progression, which I am currently extremely comfortable saying I've gone as far as I want to go, not looking to become a woman but enjoying the moments when I feel that way.

[Janine cd]

I've been a crossdresser for more than 60 years. I've occasionally fantasized of being a woman but have never considered transitioning totally.

[Tracii G]

NjJamie some may search a lifetime to find a label for themselves and as complex as the spectrum is may never find one that fits them exactly that IS my point
Some suffer all their lives to try and understand why they do what they do.
I was one of those until I said to myself why am I so worried about what I am?
Let all that go and decided to just be me and not worry about it. That made my life much more simple and less stressful.
I don't have to be gender fluid or binary or whatever the current buzz word of the day is.

[Pumped]

Transgender? Not a chance! No way will I ever consider transitioning. not even a consideration. CD only, no desire for any more. I am satisfied that I am a goofy guy that likes women's clothing.

As for transitioning, I can not think of an decent explanation that does not come off as hurt full, so I can't explain it here. To those that are, I wish you nothing but the best, but it is not something I would consider.

[TheHiddenMe]

The most accepted definition is that transgender is a broad umbrella that includes crossdressers.

For me, I identify as a crossdresser. I wanted to try on a dress at a young age, and still do.

Here is a reddit survey regarding reponses on the reddit crossdressing board.

https://www.reddit.com/r/crossdressing/comments/9lpl81/2018_user_survey_results/

I heard a gender counselor at a meeting say "when you've met one transgender person, you've met one transgender person". We all are individuals and there may be commonalities but we are all different.

[Tracii G]

I heard a gender counselor at a meeting say "when you've met one transgender person, you've met one transgender person". We all are individuals and there may be commonalities but we are all different.[/QUOTE]

I can totally agree with that statement.

[donnalee]

Are we now changing the designations?
It seems to me we had defined Transgender or Trans as something that covered us all, crossdressers, transexuals, bi-gender and any other sub-category we might define ourselves as being. If we keep changing the terms then we literally don't know what we're talking about.

[Robertacd]

I think this sums it up quite well...
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/313/387/ef0.jpg

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm only transgender, sometimes intensely transgender, right up until just after orgasm. Then I just want a ham sandwich and maybe some chips.

[Tracii G]

Roberta get ready because you know the radical types will take offense at the pic you posted.

[Robertacd]

Meh... They just can't handle the truth. :P

IMHO: All the other reasons we have come up with (like AGP) started out as homophobic explanations, and are now transphobic excuses we latch onto so we can claim to others and more importantly ourselves that at least we are not "one of those".

[Tracii G]

Don't doubt that one bit.

[Micki_Finn]

I think this sums it up quite well...
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/313/387/ef0.jpg

I have some issues with this image. 1) Intersex people are not transgender. They are literally born with genetic markers of both sexes. 2) while some drag queens do consider themselves trans, the vast majority DO NOT.

You all seem to hate it when people assume you?re gay because you wear women?s clothing, so why would you be fine with mislabeling someone else?

[GaleWarning]

Well, there you go.
You were correct, Tracii.

[docrobbysherry]

U know what they say? Scratch a trans and you'll find a CD inside!:battingeyelashes:

That is certainly true in my case. I began dressing out of the blue at age 50 and wanted badly to become a woman! It took years for me to finally discover the CD inside I had always been!:D

[suzanne]

Let's muddy the waters a bit and hint at the concept of fuzzy logic. I will suggest that crossdressing is an activity that is the result of one's being transgender. Like everything else, TG is not a binary box where you're either one or the other. It is a continuum in which everyone can be placed, from 0%M 100%F to 100%M 0%F. So if a genetic male has a low %F, he will fight hard against any suggestion that any femininity is present in him. If that same GM has a high %F, he would likely declare himself to be a transwoman and be upset that I just used the wrong pronoun.

I feel most comfortable locating myself at 70%F. To me, it means I am most comfortable when I am in a dress, but there are times when it doesn't matter. Furthermore, I accept that people around me sometimes rely on my accepting the role of an alpha(ish) male, a part that I can fake fairly convincingly.

[LilSissyStevie]

Some people just can't accept that we're not all members of the same club. Crossdressing is a behavior, the Transgender Umbrella is a political construct. The TG movement of today is like the gay movement in the 90s where gay activists, in order to inflate their numbers and influence proposed that anyone who ever had a homoerotic thought was gay (but maybe in denial). Now that gays have achieved most of their goals the tendency is to kick out the marginal elements (bi's, TG's, femmes, fetishists, etc.) I think that lumping fetishists like me in with Transsexuals under the Transgender Umbrella trivializes the experience of TSs. AGP is real but who it applies to and what causes it are debatable.

[dallasmann]

OK, ya can't leave us hanging like this, dish!
Oh, there isn't much to it. It was a gender-switching assignment in a sociology class and one of my girlfriends took me to the mall for a makeover. She was very excited about the trip and the results and I found myself getting into the role. Several guys in the class talked about being embarrassed "doing something a woman would do", but I remember wondering whether everyone considered me "pretty".

[CDMargret]

Hi. I would say I am a crossdresser. I love dressing and being en femme. I also like my male form. To choose just one isn’t me. I can identify as either. I love life and expressing myself both ways. I just need a bigger closet.

[Bea_]

I'm jealous of a lot of the things women get to enjoy but I am no more transgendered than the woman who likes to play sports or work in a male dominated field. A dress or skirt is both physically and emotionally more pleasant than cargo shorts, but that doesn't mean i want to be or be perceived as a woman. Women have their own issues that I'm not the least bit jealous of. It's just the clothes.

[Robertacd]

Being Transgender doesn't mean you want to transition.

How hard is that to grasp? Apparently too hard. :(

[LilSissyStevie]

Since it is an apparently infinite spectrum, I can't imagine what it means, to tell the truth.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I miss the days when we were just the "TV/TS Community"... showing my age there.

The problem with "transgender" is no one agrees what it is. In science, "cobalt" is cobalt, a "gram" is a gram, "gravity" is gravity, there are terms everyone agrees on a meaning for. It is impossible for the trans community to agree on anything. One minute something means one thing, five years later something else, then a few years later it is considered "derogatory" and replaced with something else. If science ran like this, nothing useful would ever get done.

[Pumped]

Being Transgender doesn't mean you want to transition.

How hard is that to grasp? Apparently too hard. :(


Well I looked up the definition,

denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.


I have no desire to be a woman, I don't want to identify myself as a woman. I am a man that likes to wear women's clothing. To me it is simply the clothing. I am a man in a dress. I wouldn't mind trying to make the illusion of being a woman, but I don't want to be one.

I suppose it is like anything else, the definition varies on the person.

[Star01]

If I had realized certain things about myself when I was younger I might have took the leap from CD to TS. Some of us older girls came up in a different time when things were more difficult.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Well said pumped.

Not everyone has the same goals and desires in life. Some in the trans community need to realize we are not and do not want to be like you.

Maybe we need our by application subgroup and keep those with a moral superiority complex out.

[Shely]

Some of those are hung up on a certain label for some reason or another thinking it has a definitive meaning. In reality there are so many nuances to humane nature, labels are just a shadow of the real person. IMHO! I love to dress in a feminine way and have for a very long time, but have absolutely no plans to ever transition. I just love the excitement I guess while getting all girly!

[Stephanie47]

Pumped (#49) did what I did. She "googled" the word. The problem I see is setting up a choice based on extremes. Your either a man or a woman and nothing in between. Sounds like a politician's answer or many clerics. I don't know what makes me tick. I don't know what made me start on this journey. Nor do I know where I am going to end up. I got a few years left before I change to dust. Maybe I'll get an answer then. But, what happens if male and female angels are forced to wear different style of robes. An eternity of hell on the horizon? Anyway, I digressed.

There have been times when I had zero desire to wear women's clothing or emulate a woman. There are times when I have been crawling up the walls in total frustration. I do think there is a genetic component and hormonal component involved, and, I cannot rule out nurturing. When I was an infantryman in a combat situation I can truly say male hormones and responses were raging with self preservation for myself and those around me. Think about wearing a dress? Forget it! I have been totally comfortable being a male. I have never categorized whatever I have done as male or female. It is just something that just had to be done. If I do the laundry and ironing it is not "women's work." The same with vacuuming or cooking or baking or so on.

As a young child I loved to draw. I am attracted to colors and shapes. I like growing flowers. I love wearing bright floral dresses more than any other that LBD. But, on this site I read all the time and do see pictorials of women's attire I find totally unattractive; bland, lack of color. Heck, I have graphic tee shirts that make more of a fashion statement. And, my wife routinely borrows some of them, especially like today....Halloween. Grab that Charlie Brown/Peanuts shirt of Linus in the pumpkin patch, honey.

If I was to say I wear women's clothing because I only like the colors and the feel of fabric I'd be deluding myself and giving a line of bull to anyone who was listening. I cannot say when attired and emulating a woman I feel like a woman because I am not a woman based on the genitals between my legs. But, what of those genes in my dna? I know I feel differently. But, that does not infer I feel womanly.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I often find that before a proper discussion can be had, certain terms and words need to be agreed upon.


transgender (adjective)

trans?​gen?​der | \ tran(t)s-ˈjen-dər

, tranz-\

: of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity differs from the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth
especially : of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity is opposite the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth


Definition of gender identity
: a person's internal sense of being male, female, some combination of male and female, or neither male nor female


drag queen (noun)

: a usually gay man who dresses as a woman and performs as an entertainer especially to caricature stereotypically vampish women


cross-dressing (noun)

cross-dress?​ing | \ ˈkrȯs-ˌdre-siŋ

: the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex


fetish (noun)

fe?​tish | \ ˈfe-tish also ˈfē-

1a: an object (such as a small stone carving of an animal) believed to have magical power to protect or aid its owner
broadly : a material object regarded with superstitious or extravagant trust or reverence

b: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion : prepossession

c: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

2: fixation

3: a rite or cult of fetish worshippers

[Ressie]

I prefer the words transvestite and transexual because their definitions are quite definite. Transgender means different things to different folks. It's rather ambiguous.

Does TG have to mean you're transitioning? No.
Does it mean you want to transition? Not necessarily.

Those are my answers, but some people won't agree with them. A transexual definitely is unhappy about being born in the wrong body and mostly likely will transition if and when possible. A transvestite may transition to a point but will not go for SRS because there's too much pleasure to be had with their biological sex organ. Yet, somehow it's not uncommon for crossdressers to eventually discover that they really want to be a woman.

Yes, we are all individuals. There are many shades of gray between all of these trans words.

[Robertacd]

I have some issues with this image. 1) Intersex people are not transgender. They are literally born with genetic markers of both sexes. 2) while some drag queens do consider themselves trans, the vast majority DO NOT.

You all seem to hate it when people assume you?re gay because you wear women?s clothing, so why would you be fine with mislabeling someone else?

So it's not a perfect, but I didn't invent it either.

You are probably right about the Drag Queens, locally it's about %20 that say they are transgender, interesting enough the majority of the Drag Kings I know do say they are transgender.

As for the gay thing, I am over that. Personally flattery will get you everywhere with me and while I may not be sexually attracted to men, I still love the attention.

[mbmeen12]

I see that many of us, trans people, were once cds.
What do you think make the difference and what are you?

I am walking that fine pink line....

[Robertacd]

So it's not a perfect, but I didn't invent it either.

interesting enough the majority of the Drag Kings I know do say they are transgender.


Yes I am replying to my own post... :p

Anyway I wonder if this is due the "trans stigma" also running rampant in the Gay male community. After all most Gay men are not attracted to women even if they were born a man.

[Seana Summer]

I was a crossdresser for several years but now a transgender.
I'm not going to tell my story or reasons to transition neither the definition of transition but I see that many of us, trans people, were once cds.
What do you think make the difference and what are you?

What am I? I am me!

I have no interest in being a women, I doubt that will ever change as it has been pretty consistent for 40+ years. I like being a man and I like to wear dresses and such once in a while and I happen to like Drag shows too. sooooo I guess I am and will be a CD??? My interpretation has been CDs fit under the T in LGBT however I have been informed before that I am incorrect and I don't care enough to argue about it. Maybe there should be a new category, Seana's!! LGBTQS!

[Pixie_94]

Not trans, just a guy. Do the math.

[Davina Katherine]

Seana, like you, I have no interest in being (or becoming) a woman.
But I do feel a distinct womanly or feminine "presence" within me. The second self or alter ego, as others have said.

So for now it seems the "Gender Non-Binary" fits for me, which is under the "trans" category. But transitioning is not on my agenda.
Being "girl-me" more often and more freely would be very nice, though.





Not trans, just a guy. Do the math.

Pixie, MATH?! Nobody told me there'd be math. :sad:

[sometimes_miss]

I think that the biggest problem with defining what you are, is finding out why you are that way. The vast majority here have no clue. And that gets in the way of trying to figure out whether we're males who need to crossdress, vs female personalities that grew up stuck in male bodies. Or something in between.
You can have severe gender identity dysphoria but still not be transgender. It all comes down to why you feel the need to dress/behave as the opposite sex. Not all of us are 'born that way'.

[Robertacd]

All this talk about not wanting SRS or HRT means you are not Transgender blowes my mind

I think John Oliver said it best when he was talking about Transgender rights in genneral.

"Some transgender people do undergo hormone therapy or sexual reassignment surgery as part of their transition, some do not. And interestingly, their decision on this matter is, medically speaking, none of your f?ing business."

Sure it's easy to say "I only dress in the privacy of my own home or just to get my rocks off. So I don't care about Transgender rights or anything else.". But that's a very selfish and narrow minded way to be. As sometime in the future your feelings might change.

Basically we are all Transgender to some extent and we need to stick together.

Once we have a slice of equally like the Gays have, we can start throwing each other under the bus. Like the Gays are doing to transpeople now.

[Mariabella]

I dislike labels. I was caught dressing in the early seventies and was labeled horrible things like deviant and sexually perverse for desiring to present as femme. this was accompanied by threats of electroconvulsive therapy and military schools. This pushed my gender issues into a well hidden box for many years. It was only at the end of my first marriage that I came to own my femme side in any way. Now after a second marriage and raising kids but still dressing and using makeup when it was "safe" I am out and proud with the blessing and help of my beloved partner. We both are exploring gender roles and I am fully living as femme as i feel like every day and becoming more femme every day. This said even if I always present femme I will feel like a tween or two spirit. I lived a good life as dad and husband and will not deny that part of myself as valid. But despite this I have always been mostly femme and a nurturer of our children and pets who never truly fit with other "dads" and largely dislike men in general, which gave rise to some difficult dysphoric feelings thru my life even as I was acting the part in Oscar worthy style.
I think it is up to each of us to define ourselves by our own terms and language. we are all different and live on a spectrum of gender expression.I find labels a pigeon hole of poor fit for myself but do recognize the value they hold for others.

[abbiedrake]

Even if I wasn't totally on Roberta's wavelength here I'd be saying trans.

Things are different for me now that the last time I posted. Let's put it like that.

[Pumped]

All this talk about not wanting SRS or HRT means you are not Transgender blowes my mind

I think John Oliver said it best when he was talking about Transgender rights in genneral.

"Some transgender people do undergo hormone therapy or sexual reassignment surgery as part of their transition, some do not. And interestingly, their decision on this matter is, medically speaking, none of your f?ing business."

Sure it's easy to say "I only dress in the privacy of my own home or just to get my rocks off. So I don't care about Transgender rights or anything else.". But that's a very selfish and narrow minded way to be. As sometime in the future your feelings might change.

Basically we are all Transgender to some extent and we need to stick together.

Once we have a slice of equally like the Gays have, we can start throwing each other under the bus. Like the Gays are doing to transpeople now.


I believe many of us disagree with your definition of "transgender". Until we agree on the definition discussion is pointless.

If I look up the meaning of transgender I know it does no describe me, or many of us here. So many of us are not transgender, we are simply cross dressers.

Why do we have to be transgender to stick together can't some of us be CD, some trans, and some just "normal" people here supporting a spouse or a friend and still be supportive?

And who is throwing others "under the bus"? Just because I don't believe that I am transgender, does that mean I can't support those that are? I could never see myself transitioning, I honestly do not believe it is the answer for those with gender dysmorphia, so does that mean I can not support those that do?

My wife drives a Chevy, I drive a Ford, but I still love and support her!

[dallasmann]

I like to dress and some days, I feel as though I'm a woman. But I don't think of myself of transgendered, because everything is part-time for me. I love that I can be anything I want. I can't become pregnant and give birth, but apart from that, I get to enjoy almost everything. I love not being trapped by any labels.

[Maid_Marion]

Trans. No HRT or surgery. Female voice, mannerisms, and petite hourglass figure. My hair falls a few inches below my shoulders and I wear obviously female nearly all the time.

[Jean 103]

Well that was predictable.

Not everyone that transitions (SRS) starts off as a CD, or is a CD.

Also not all CDs want to experience life as women.

Basically CDs just want to enjoy whatever female clothing, but don't want to actually be a woman. Where a T-something wants to be or live as a women.

Then there is an infinite gray area in-between.

On my quest I have met a lot of individuals, yes everyone is different but at the extremes they have more in common.

I'm trying to answer your question without falling into the usual argument over definitions and the need for them.

It is not a one size fits all thing, it is just not that easy.

It is nice that you are finding your way. I do find that in is helpful to see how others cope, live, whatever.

I have for now come to terms with how I am, for the moment, whatever that means. I do know that I'm not simply a CD.

[Alice Torn]

I dress occasionally to have a small peak into what it would be like to be an attractive lady, but it is all fantasy, and make believe for me, for short periods of escape from my painful lonesome single man life. I may be double spirited too, as i feel i have both male and female spirits.

[OCCarly]

I’m just a girl...some assembly required, as my therapist likes to say.

[Julie Slowinski]

First of all, as I understand it the term transgender is an umbrella term that includes trans women and trans men (formally known as transsexuals), crossdressers, drag queens, non-binary folks and dozens of other labels/identities. The classic distinction between trans women and CDs is that for trans women it is about gender identity and for CDs it is simply about gender expression, which leads many to say that CDs are cis gender. I, however, question that simplistic, cut and dry distinction. It seems to me that anyone who is assigned male at birth, but also expresses a feminine side with any seriousness, does not have a purely male gender identity and thus is not cis gender. There was a time where I would describe myself as just a regular dude that just wants to look pretty once in a while. While that?s a non-threatening way of looking at things, I don?t think it is the truth. I?m not anywhere close to being full time or transitioning, but I also don?t think it would be accurate to describe myself as just a dude with an unconventional hobby.

I think I am gravitating more toward the label of non-binary. I?ll go further and postulate that the primary difference between CDs and non-binary folks is age. It seems that both are cut from the same cloth, but because each was raised in a different era, their approach to gender non-conformity is different. I came of age in the 80s where any gender non-conformity would have serious repercussions from peers as well as adults. As such, I learned to compartmentalize - either all boy or all girl and no mixture. Those coming of age in the current decade are finding safe space stickers on every high school classroom. This allows them to explore their gender identity openly and expect to find if not wholehearted acceptance, at the very least allies in their peer group as well as from teachers. If I was coming of age today I expect I would regularly have painted nails, maybe experiment with makeup and clothes, but also feel comfortable with the more typical boy mode as well. I expect there wouldn?t be this rubicon, that once crossed there would be no return - the notion of all in or nothing, which seems to be a hallmark of the older generation.

So, to the question of how do I identify? I?m still gonna say crossdresser, cuz I?m old. But, there are times when I?ll describe myself as non-binary, especially if I?m in boy mode and I think the other person might have misconceptions about crossdressers - ya know, all of that icky sexual stuff that tends to come to up if doing an internet search.

[Seana Summer]

Basically we are all Transgender to some extent and we need to stick together. .

I will second this sentiment!

If you all would like progress toward acceptance to stop and go in reverse, nitpick over definitions and start trying to throw others who are not just like you under a bus

[Paulie Birmingham]

I will second this sentiment!

If you all would like progress toward acceptance to stop and go in reverse, nitpick over definitions and start trying to throw others who are not just like you under a bus

No we are not all transgender. And those keep saying that are highly divisive. People can support trans people without being a trans person. The more I am told I am a trans, the less likely I want to support you and your causes.

[abbiedrake]

You know what?
This is just too depressing.
you bunch of self-defeating Fools.
The very title of this thread seems to have been taken way too much to heart.
I've always found it so staggering that such a small community can so endlessly and pointlessly subdivide.

When I joined this site I identified in one way before shifting to another and now, in light of some life changing moments, my position has shifted to an entirely different paradigm for me. And yet through all that my commitment to this community has never wavered. I've never felt more or less invested just because of where I've been on my journey.

This sites skew older and many similar CD/trans watering holes round the net and it is to our great shame that our younger sisters have so much to teach us. My experience of them is they're way better than we'll ever be at just 'being'.

Hell I can't even quantify the failings here right now.

It's not like those younger girls have it any easier. I defy those of you who would argue just how easy it is for these girls. It isn't. They have to overcome many of the same challenges as us.

And yet we continue to do them a disservice by not ending this pointless subdivision and backbiting.

For God sake grow up.

[Micki_Finn]

You can deny it and come up with a lot of other explainstions that makes you feel better, but in reality I am right.

Transgender covers everyone here from the occasional fetish crossdresser to the post-op Transsexuals.

When you choose it for yourself, it?s an identity. When you choose it for someone else, it?s a label. Just something to think about. Because I know people who would say ?you can deny it if it makes you feel better, but in reality I?m right that you?re a [insert choice words here that would get me banned]?

[sometimes_miss]

Also not all CDs want to experience life as women.
I think that for a good number, it's not that we don't want to, it's that we can't. Some want to; some yearn to. Some desperately want to. Others sink into despair because they can't, and for some, even transitioning doesn't help. Why?
Because the best we might accomplish, is to experience life as a MTF transsexual. And that's not the experience that women have.
We don't know what life is like for women, because we aren't women. Even those MTF TS who go on T blockers very early, and then hormone therapy so that they appear to be GG's to the outside world as they go through puberty, don't know what a GG's life is like. They can only guess. Same as us. Who knows; we might even be guessing right. But there's no actual way to know.

[Aunt Kelly]

I submit that life for a transitioned M2F is more like that of a cis female than it is not. Yes there are differences, but they are far from being the things that dominate a female's experience. Among the presentations I attended at the "Out in West Texas" conference this weekend was one wherein it was pointed out that not only does the transwoman give up male privilege, she also lives at the place where the challenges of women and TS intersect.

[Robin-in-TX]

I'm not going to comment on whether everyone on here is some version of "trans". I agree that everyone should claim their own identity. I'm in the process of changing my body and presentation to conform to my identity which is and has always been female. I'm not a crossdresser.

[Connie D50]

I always love these post. I feel that you have to be careful as a CD when you say I'm not trans, does that mean you would never transition? I am a CD because for personal reasons I could never transition. Connie

[Jenny22]

I knew in the late 1930s that I wanted to be a girl. As time marched on I was able to read about transvestites. There was no distinction between them (CDers) and others in the spectrum until later. When I first started perusing CD.com as a spectator MANY years ago, I realized there were differences in people who dressed. I joined the forum and realized even more that I wasn't just a CDer, but that I was really TG, and that satisfied me!

[BTWimRobin]

I am a CD and don't have any desire to transition. When the pink fog is at its thickest I sometimes feel otherwise.

[faltenrock]

That?s a pretty bold statement, and I?m afraid I must disagree. There is more than one crossdresser, who has no desire to actually be a women, or necessarily even pretend to be a woman. Many are inspired by erotic excitement induced by feminine fashion and form. Others by a desire to be beautiful. Some both. One would have to admit, that many men find beauty in the feminine form and fashion, including clothes, make up, hair, etc. I think, that sometimes, that translates, in some male minds, to feeling a need to emulate women in attempts to feel beautiful about themselves. No desire to be a woman, but, to look like one at times, and feel good about their appearance. Much the same as women, who dress to the nines on occasion to feel ?pretty?. It?s, also, hard to argue that there isn?t a certain comfort and satisfaction to the feel of the caress of more traditionally feminine fabrics against the skin.

I?m not arguing that crossdressers in general don?t have a ?softer? side, but saying they?re all transgender just isn?t true. Don?t get me wrong, I don?t care if somebody labels me transgender. I could care less, but I do embrace my masculinity, and wouldn?t give that part of me up for love, nor money.

Just my thoughts
Hugs
MeeShell

Thank you MeeShell for this statement, I can't agree more, you found the right words.

[annecwesley]

No we are not all transgender. And those keep saying that are highly divisive. People can support trans people without being a trans person. The more I am told I am a trans, the less likely I want to support you and your causes.

I have to agree with this.Especially as I have rather conservative political, religious and social views I will not lend my support to much of the social and political agenda of the "LGBTQ..." movement, I am not under anyone's umbrella except "crossresser" or "transvestite".

- - - Updated - - -


Some people just can't accept that we're not all members of the same club. Crossdressing is a behavior, the Transgender Umbrella is a political construct. The TG movement of today is like the gay movement in the 90s where gay activists, in order to inflate their numbers and influence proposed that anyone who ever had a homoerotic thought was gay (but maybe in denial). Now that gays have achieved most of their goals the tendency is to kick out the marginal elements (bi's, TG's, femmes, fetishists, etc.) I think that lumping fetishists like me in with Transsexuals under the Transgender Umbrella trivializes the experience of TSs. AGP is real but who it applies to and what causes it are debatable.

Well said. I also disagree with the idea that crossdressing is part of a spectrum. I think Gender Dysphoria and Transvestism are distinctly different neurological/psychological anomalies even though they express themselves in similar ways. The "transgender spectrum" is a modern social construct, gender is not.

[Gaz]

It's all become a bit of an "us vs them" scenario. Although in fairness, its been a bit like that since I first poked my head in here five years ago.

But to just blanket EVERYONE with a term definitely becomes divisive. Just because I have a drivers license doesn't mean I can compete at the Indy 500. Like I said in another thread I started, we are all different people.

For myself, I can't understand for the life of me the point of breast forms for example. It's a completely alien concept, the notion of having rubber bags stuffed into a bra to make it look like I have boobs. I don't have boobs. Whats the point? But for others, its an integral part of the dressing experience, and they can't work out why people wouldn't want to see themselves fully transformed - we are experessing a feminine side, and breasts are an absolutely feminine ideal. I don't get why people on here refer to each other as sisters - would brothers not be more apt, given that we're crossdressers as opposed to trans women? Others will find that notion ridiculous, that the reason we're all here is that loud and proud feminine side.

Swings and roundabouts, and neither one is wrong since its all about perspective.

I've seen estimates about crossdressing claim that anywhere from 5 to 20% of the male population does it or has done it. My own therapist put the figure at 10% according to the study she'd read, but believed it's probably higher since men don't like admitting it. Predominant in high stress occupations - police officers, military, fire, etc. When the stress of expectation and life gets to them, then its a release. I don't have a high stress job (far from it!) but I have noticed that when life gets bumpy, my urge to wear things kicks in. A common exercise when dealing with stress is to recall a happy memory, focus on that, and let the stress recede. When back in control, then go back to normal. For most of us adults, a happier time is often when we were little kids, and didn't have to deal with careers, mortgages, expectations. And when we were little kids, who was the rock, the one who would tell us everything was okay, the one we'd usually go to for comfort when we needed it? Usually that was mom, not dad.

So buried in our heads for many of us, there's this female icon who, for a time, would make everything ok. Comforting. Happy. And as such, their crossdressing has absolutely nothing to do with expressing the woman within, its about relieving pressure - like wearing clothes of a different gender means that the stresses and anxiety of the day belong to someone else for a while. The desire to dress isn't motivated by a desire to BE feminine, it's motivated by a desire to be CLOSE to feminine.

And I think that motivation is the differentiator. Many (not all!) who are motivated by the feminine side where crossdressing is a part of daily/regular life find can't understand the motivation not stemming from a desire to be feminine. Many (not all!) who are motivated by stress or fetish, where crossdressing is almost a hobby/mood (not trying to be disingenuous here, trying to come up with the right way of putting it!) based event, can't understand the motivation coming from the other direction.

Top all THAT off with the stuff we DO have in common - the public perception that whatever your motivation is, crossdressing makes you a weirdo, deviant, pervert, something wrong. (Thankfully a stigma that's fading, but its still there). We come in here looking for kindred spirits, and only find more labeling and divisiveness.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Great response my brother gaz

[Veronica4me]

I'm 100% a crossdresser.

I love wearing womens' clothing as a guy with no desire of ever being a woman.

The look and feel of the clothing is what appeals to me, although I do like the appearance when I am fully dressed.

If I were a full time woman, it would become mundane to me.

[ellbee]

cross-dressing (noun)

cross-dress?​ing | \ ˈkrȯs-ˌdre-siŋ

: the wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex


Heck, there are some who can't even agree on just *that*! :eek:


:heehee:

[Lacey New]

All of this is fun discussion. I think many of us are here because we are trying to figure out why we are different from (what we think) are most males who have never had any interest in gathering, owning and repeatedly wearing women’s clothing. Let’s face it, to that extent, we are different from the “average” male. However, on this forum, there are many of us who may present as women daily as part of their life and there are others who may simply wear a pair of panties from time to time. And while there may be some technical biological or psychological terms that distinguish us into smaller groups, we are all represented here. And, since this site is called crossdressers.com and we all have joined and participate voluntarily, then perhaps we can at least agree that we are all cross dressers. Whatever other category you might feel that you might belong to is certainly up to you, how you feel and act and whatever you think is appropriate. I won?t argue with anyone about their own personal preference.

[LilSissyStevie]

Well said. I also disagree with the idea that crossdressing is part of a spectrum. I think Gender Dysphoria and Transvestism are distinctly different neurological/psychological anomalies even though they express themselves in similar ways. The "transgender spectrum" is a modern social construct, gender is not.

One reason I have trouble with this transgender spectrum idea comes from my own experiences. Back in the 70's I was in a vocational rehabilitation program in Baltimore. It was basically a trade school to give job skills to people with mental or physical handicaps. I was taking machine shop/welding. All of the biological males in the Cosmetology program were either very feminine gays or started-out-gay transsexuals many of whom were involved in a program for transition at nearby Johns Hopkins U. In those days, Cosmetology was one of the few professions these folks could do without a lot of discrimination. They were trying to get some job skills so they wouldn't have to live by prostitution. These were the people I hung out with during my time at the school. Even tho I did some CDing at the time, I never felt that my CDing was in any way related to the issues these people faced. For one thing, they really were feminine to the point that you would forget they were bio males even when they were dressed in male clothing. There was nothing particularly feminine or gay about me other than my sexual fantasies. I never bothered them about that since they would have thought I was crazy (which I was!) Our common bond was in being misfits who had been through the mental health sausage grinder, not transgender stuff. Although I still didn't understand my sexuality, the experience cured me of any delusions that I was either gay or trans. There was no path from where I was to where they were and therefor no spectrum. I sympathized with their plight but it wasn't really my world.