Do you find mentioning yourself "crossdressing" offensive/demeaning/discriminating?

[Across]

Why to have a different word altogether as "crossdressing"? Are we comfortable with that word? Does not the word have inherent connotation that you are not wanted in so called society or do not pander to social norms just because you want to dress/feel like outside defined limits set? I may be wrong but why historically and in some regions still in present women wearing jeans or women wearing shirts/pants was seen as women empowerment but men wearing a skirt/spandex/camisole is seen as crossdressing? Was not "Crossdressing" as a term made to imply "you are unacceptable" or "cross breed" (suggesting unwanted breed or unproductive breed-which in my opinion is racism)? Why did not they/we call it by other words like "DressingAsPerWill" or "WillDressers" or "WishfulDressing" ?

[Patience]

With respect, you're asking multiple rambling questions and not very clearly.

Short answer to the basic question is no. "Crossdressing" is not a demeaning term and after all, we need a name for what we do, so a rose by any other name...

I won't comment on the rest until I'm sure I got your drift...

[Tracii G]

I think you don't fully understand the term yourself because you have a very skewed and incorrect impression what cross dressing is.

[Across]

I just had some random thoughts about the term "crossdress".

Thts so lovely a line mentioned by you Patience: "a rose by anyother name would smell as sweet". Thank you for that.

I thought crossdress as a term was coined to make us feel outcast or unacceptable. But I think we have found beauty in that word too.

[Tracii G]

The official definition of crossdresser is one who wear the clothing of the opposite gender.
Nowhere in that definition does it state or imply outcast or unacceptable.
I am transgender so the term CDer really doesn't fit because I am wearing the clothes that represent how I view myself.

[Janine cd]

I have never found crossdressing to be an offensive term. I agree with Tracii that the term has no offensive connotations.

[Kaylin]

I agree with Tracii and Patience. To me, Your post isn't very clear at all here.

[Tracii G]

I think perhaps Across has made some assumptions that were based on or were heard from others who basically have no idea what they were talking about.

[Kaylin]

Its gotta be that Tracii. I still can't wrap my head around all of it. LoL Seems like they are basing it off what they heard. Not what they know. I read this like 10 times in a row to try and make any sense of it lol

[Jean 103]

I don't care for the word.

I have been called a crossdresser as a derogatory term. It was by a roommate's ex. They had shared custody of their daughter. We had her three days a week and the two of us became like sisters. I couldn't understand why her mom hated me. Untill some time later when I heard that when she would go to her mom's house all she would talk about was how great Jean was.

I prefer the term transgender, it's more ambiguous, just me.

I wear women's clothes every day, so for me it is normal. My friends accept me as I am.

Technically I am a CD, although I'm more like a T-something.

[barbara gordon]

I get the point of rhe original poster . I think the word crossdresser can have an icky feeling about it . I also understand that its ok to have a word to describe what we are doing- with that said- I sometimes feel that it can be a word that is sometimes. Ok as a description, but sometimes it is a word that is loaded with self loathing and loaded with distain from outside observers. Crossdressing is controversial for many people who dont do it. As well as frustrating for people who do ,do it. Its often misunderstood as a fetish and often characterized as shameful. . I have been a lifelong crossdresser but the further i go into it , I have adopted the word transgender for myself. Its all in layers. The meaning and potency of any word changes and evolves over time. In definition the word transvestite means the same thing as crossdresser. But its feeling is derogatory for most people. I think the word crossdresser is evolving into being a derogatory word even if it ffits its meaning.
Sorry to ramble all over this. . But it really is a complicated set of ideas.

[Stephanie47]

Of course the printed word does not convey word inflection. The word itself only refers to the act of wearing the clothing worn by the opposite sex. Said one way and it is nothing more than a declarative statement or point of information. Say it with a different inflection and it becomes a negative scornful statement. I am hesitant to refer to myself as transgender. The members on the forum cannot seem to come to an agreement on the usage of the word. Try explaining it to the general public. Forget the one word answers and explain in complete sentences and paragraphs. I'd wager the vast majority of the public has not meet a cross dresser let alone have a discussion with one.

I believe there have been threads of a similar nature about transvestite.

[Samm]

I'm with Jean. I don't care for the word either. Yes, by definition, that's what I'm doing. But there's way more to it than just dressing up. I feel complete. Like the outside matches the inside.
The definition of 'crossdresser' is cut and dry. But the use of the word can be too easily used in a derogatory manner.
I choose not to use it, as it doesn't fully fit who I am anyway. But that's just me.

[Elizabeth G]

I don't find the term offensive. It simply describes something I do. It is by no means fully descriptive of who I am and why I choose to crossdress but then again I don't think of it as being intended as all encompassing.

[jacques]

hello Across,
I am proud to be a "crossdresser" in the privacy of my own home!
luv J

[GretchenM]

I think it depends some on where you live and a lot on the attitude of the other person. I view crossdressing as an activity and not really an identity. But it certainly can be an identity if the person who crossdresses doesn't actually identify as transgender of some kind or other. But like Jean said, it can carry a negative meaning to it. Like most descriptive words crossdressing can mean very different things to different people. I personally use "gender variant" or something like that and let the other person form whatever picture they wish. Other times I will use "gender fluid" and that often works. If the other person asks me if I crossdress I tell them, "Absolutely. Most of the time it goes with the territory." I try to be a bit less vague and key my identity into something like, "I am not like you and that is the way it is. But that doesn't mean I can't be like you because I can, even though I often am not."

[Aunt Kelly]

You can _call_ yourself anything you want. Just don't expect anyone else to know what the hell you're talking about. Words have meanings. Those meanings are often arrived at by an often subtle process of evolution. Attempts to create a new definition for a well established term are, to say the least, challenging.
We could go back to "transvestite", I suppose.

[Jackiefl]

I also prefer the term transgender.

[CynthiaD]

As far as I’m concerned, there are no dirty names. I’ve called myself a crossdresser, a transvestite, a tranny, a transgender or transgendered person, a preop transsexual, and a woman with male body parts. I’m proud to be all of those things. It’s the concept that’s important, not the words we use to describe it. Sticks and stones.

[bridget thronton]

I might describe myself as wearing a dress (describing myself as crossdressed is not offensive to me but does not seem accurate to me either)

[April Rose]

The term "crossdresser" came into common usage because "Transvestite" had too much sexual connotation, and that upset some people. Others were fine with it. Look up "crossdresser" in Websters dictionary. It is in no way pejorative.

At some point, people just need to get a grip.

[Alice Torn]

Racism!?? I am sick of that shopworn PC poop. Cd is done by all races!!! Each of us is a unique individual. I detest GROUP THINK. No, race has NOTHING to do with this, and transvestite is the older term used. Human nature is to put everyone into this group think or box. Be an individual. We are what we are, but can always improve in baby steps or big steps. i am a blue collar big man , that has had no wife or SO, and i admit i am a bit odd, strange, different than the normal male, with one part of me that is a bit lady like, and likes to transform into a beautiful older lady, in the mirror sometimes. I would like to have not been born with this proclivity, though, as it has made me an even more loner, and with social difficulty, and i already am a highly sensitive, with emotional illness, and nervous disorder. It does not matter what you call yourself. People judge no matter what. I guess i could call myself a variety dresser, or wide range dresser. Or guy with two sides, artistic dresser, complex person, a misfit, different, abnormal ,out of the box, yada yada yada. Most people will think gay, or twisted, pervert, deviant, weird, though.

[ambigendrous]

I'm not crossdressing; I'm "dressing comfortably"...

[Tracii G]

We are all part of the human race.
All this calling things racist nonsense needs to stop.

[Pixie_94]

Okay, this turned into a trainwreck of a question. I might struggle with accepting myself, but even I know that's not a derrogatory term and don't try turning it into one.

We already have enough with what traditional media does whenever something is misinterpreted. Don't be like them, you can be better.

[Tracii G]

Words are just words if you decide to let a word control how you feel about yourself then you have a problem.
People can call me whatever they want and I can agree or disagree but its not going to change how I feel about myself.
I do not follow media because its just somebody elses opinion and has no relevance to me.

[docrobbysherry]

"I'm just a cute little transvestite from Transylvania.":battingeyelashes:

Ok, CD is out. :thumbsdn:

We r all transvestites now!:thumbsup:

[Mariabella]

At this point in life all I am is me and how I present is as much mood as anything. most days I like the rituals of makeup and picking outfits other days I am content in jeans and tee. All are who I am so whether dressed femme or homme I am always just me. FWIW I lived far to long acting homme and feeling femme to be anything but a tween or two spirit. So mostof the usual terms like crossdresser or transexual etc just do not quite fit so I forego labels as I can.
As a child I was caught dressing femme and subjected to "therapy" as it was in the very early seventies. I was labeled deviant, having a sexual perversion and was threatened with electroconvulsive therapy to cure me of myself. this has caused me to be very wary of being defined by labels.

[Micki_Finn]

“Racism” is discrimination based on RACE. Crossdresser isn’t a race, and therefore cannot be a subject of racism.

[Territx]

I don't usually care about the terms used, as long as they are accurate -- as the words seem to have such a "personal" meaning based upon the intent of the person using them, along with the inflection.

This can be seen by way of a discussion I had with friends "many" years ago (think college days) -- how can some things be as "bad as s*%t" while other things are described as "good as s*%t"? I still have not come to reconcile that question -- need more alcohol, I guess . . . though that may have been involved when the question was posed originally! :)

Anyway, the term crossdresser is accurate, so I am fine if that is how someone wants to describe me.

[Alice Torn]

I guess one could say, I am doing the same thing most women do, wear anything i want, or unisex.

[dallasmann]

If this site teaches anything, it's that there is no "we" in any sort of groupthink sort of way. "We" all have some affinity for what society defines as women's clothing or lingerie and not everyone here even dresses. Some of the viewers on the site are just curious or are fetishists of the mind and would never do it in real life. Some others lust after crossdressers and visit the site to fulfill that interest.

To answer your question, the term does not offend me at all, but I am sensitive to the fact there are others who may not like it. I love being a crossdresser, I love being a man, I love being a girl, I love being queer and completely fluid. I don't love the word "transvestite", but that has to do with the construction and sound of the word, not the meaning anyone might attach to it.

[Kiwi Primrose]

Crossdressing, crossdresser, etc. are words. It doesn't matter if someone refers to me in any of these ways, nor do I ask for approval or comment. If anyone is visiting and sees me "dressed" for the first time they are free to comment but they will not hear the word "crossdress" in the discussion.
As a matter of interest I have never had a derogatory comment.

[JennykBailey]

Our community has more labels than a Dymo printer, crossdresser is not offensive to me. It's the manner that it's directed that's the problem. I like to think of myself as spans gender!

[susan54]

I regard myself as a crossdresser so I do not find it offensive or demeaning. In fact I am pretty damn good at it. In literal terms I am also a transvestite but it is a horrible term that is also associated, rightly or wrongly, with getting roused when dressed in women's clothes, which I don't. I have clothes issue but not gender issues - I only ever regard myself as male - so I do not regard myself as transgender and do not wish others to call me this. I regard the term transgender as applied to me unwelcome and inaccurate rather than offensive. Also people who address all of us on this site as "girls". I am not a girl. Nothing wrong with being a girl - it is just inaccurate in my case.

[Jenny22]

At one time, we were all Transvestites (tranies) . Evolution occured to a more benign description, Crossdresser. Simple, and liked much better by our community.... I think.

[Rachel05]

I think cross dresser describes perfectly what I am and I definitely do not find it in any way derogatory, it?s just a descriptive word and I?m happy to refer to me as a cross dresser

[Ressie]

No, it's the act of crossdressing that many people find unacceptable. It doesn't matter what word is used to describe the person doing it. If you put yourself in someone's shoes that doesn't cross dress it's not too hard to see their point of view. Men wearing women's clothing - are you kidding me?

Also, it doesn't matter what one calls her/him self. Real people in the real world will use words that they know including transvestite or worse. What others say doesn't concern me.

[Maid_Marion]

For me, the weird part of using is that term I have a much easier time finding cute clothes that fit me than most GGs!

Ironically, the most common issue with rejecting something that I test wear is that the shoulders are a little too wide!

Marion

[LilSissyStevie]

“Racism” is discrimination based on RACE. Crossdresser isn’t a race, and therefore cannot be a subject of racism.

You're a little behind the times. My wife was a high school science teacher up until this year. If she asked a kid to stop looking at porn on their phone or to stop vaping in class, she was called a racist even by white kids. So as to the idea that disapproval of crossdressing is "racist," yeah, why not?

[sometimes_miss]

I avoid using the term crossdresser, as most people equate crossdresser=pervert. So I explain that I only actually feel comfortable, and normal, when I wear girl clothing. Then I go on to explain why. It gives them a better understanding of what some of us are, and why it's not always just a sexual kink.



"I'm just a cute little transvestite from Transylvania.":battingeyelashes:
Ok, CD is out. :thumbsdn: We r all transvestites now!:thumbsup:
Well then, let's see: If I go on vacation to Transylvania, and return home, then I've come 'from Transylvania'. So can I now use that whole description? Sounds good to me!
Now let me go do the time warp.

[Asew]

I prefer non-binary since it describes me better. But crossdressing and transgender are both terms I use. Sure some people some words more offensive than others. And even though transvestite applies to me, I don't use the term since the sexual part is only a small part of what it is for me and probably like sometimes_miss said I don't want to appear perverted/creepy.

[melanie206]

I've never really thought of crossdresser as offensive and I agree with Gretchen, it's more of an activity than an identity. However, crossdressers do seem to be imagined at the far end of the "spectrum" so maybe that's something. Interestingly, the prefixes "cross" and "trans" mean the same thing.

[Teresa]

Across,
Much of what you suggest is often trapped inside our heads , to wear clothes not appropriate to our gender we understand to be wrong , men just don't do that !

Some are happy to be safely in the closet where all this doesn't concern them but others like me needed to break out from the closet but in doing so had to think about what other people think but the lesson to learn is we do overthink it ! We are not alone other people have shown the offensive labels not to be true are certainly not as we imagined them to be . In almost two years of being out I've not had one single word of abuse , no discimination , the only point I would make is personally I don't see it as CDing anymore being comfortable and confident with the situation . I can't say for certain what people do see me as , all I know is the accept me for it without question .

[Across]

I dont knw how to express it but I am really sorry to hear it. Electroconvulsive therapy is inhuman imo. Even threat of it is inhuman. The very fact that a person can be threatened with ECT unless she/he mends his ways proves that ECT is unrequired as therapy in any kind. Yes and precisely for reasons like this, I am also very wary of labels. Labels bring stigmas, labels throws the individual behind a vague background, label hides the individuality of a person.

- - - Updated - - -

I did a little bit reading on it and found that "transvestite" was used in medical lingo to refer to people who would dress like women with a connotation of some "mental illness". So called "transvestite" also used this term to refer to themselves. Over the time people realised the horrible nature of this term and stopped using this term to refer to themselves. It was realised as horrible because it referred to people as mentally sick. The man who coined the word transvestite, Hirschfeld, himself started to disagree with its meaning as clothing is merely an outward choice made out of inner psychological processes. He become the guy to help people change their names (so that names of people are gender representative. This was required by law in Germany. Sigh!). He later on also made a difference between people cross-dressing for their own construct of mind and people cross-dressing for sexual arousal. Hence another term came which "transvestite fetishism". When all this was happening the people who matter the most (people who wear clothes of different gender) started a revolution against this term. They stopped using it, however they became orphan in terms of absence of a word to describe themselves. Hence "cross-dress" was created by the community itself. Cross-dresser referred to a heterosexual man who would wear women clothes and immitate womanly actions. But we all know that community is a spectrum with different kinds of people in it. We all cannot be clubbed under one term. Also there is a difference when we may use a word for ourselves and when so called "normal" others use it for ourselves. When I did not know that "cross-dresser" was coined by the community itself, I thought it was offensive. But in fact it itself was created to weed out more offensive word "transvestite". May be we as humans are always looking for new words just like we always try to better ourselves from the existing.

[BrendaPDX]

Interesting post and thread. Lots of good input from lots of members.

[Lacey New]

It does not bother me. It is what I do occasionally. I dress in clothing specifically designed and marketed to women. So I am a crossdresser.

[Teresa]

Across,
You appear to be a little confused over the "Crossdressing " , "Transvestite " labels . Transvestite simply translate from the Latin meaning trans = to cross , vestite = clothes or garb , so it simply becomes cross dressing in English , nothing in that translation relates to sexual deviance or mental illness, these attchments true or false came after .

The more important point to consider is why you or any of us are driven to dress in the first place , to me dressing is the window to the RW of how I feel inside , the labels become less and less important as we continue down our chosen roads .

These days I do query what the word , " Normal " actually means .

[Kimberly A.]

WORD, Tracii! LOL