I don't like men!

[Davina Katherine]

I (boy-me) don't like men. By like I mean "I really like hot fudge sundaes", not "like" as a euphemism for physical attraction.
Not sure how "girl-me' feels, 'cause Jessie hasn't been out and about enough yet.

All my life it's always been more comfortable working with women and being in their company. Other men (especially groups) made me feel uneasy and out of place. Today while having lunch in a small taco shop, with only other males present, it dawned on me just how much I don't like men.

I don't dislike them, there's no active antagonism.
An individual adult male is OK, (mostly) but I definitely don't feel like "one of the boys".

I don't know if this has any connection to my CD'ing and self-identification as gender non-binary. It wouldn't surprise me if it is.

Do any of you other girls feel this way, or am I an odd one out?

Just wondering :thinking:,
Jessie Mae

[Alice Torn]

I tend to feel the same way. Most men i do not care to be around much. True gentlemen are rare now, and i do not mind working with decent guys. But, to many males are unrefined, brutish, hard guys, and crude. i tend to prefer working with women a bit more, but have had some difficult harsh women workmates or bosses, too, on occasion. It all depends on the person and how they treat others and animals. Some men have been a joy to work with. Other shave been mean, foul language brutes. It is sad, how real gentlemen and real ladies are not so common anymore. I must add that boys and men are truly victimized nowdays more than ever, and are confused, and men are ending their lives more than women are, and more than ever before! I feel for a lot of men today. They are under impossible social and mental and emotional binds, and damned if we do and damned if we don't. So many have no one to talk to, and stuff their pain, and no close friends, no one to talk to heart to heart. We live in crazy, unhealthy times, but it has always been a cruel world.

[Teri Ray]

I either like someone or I am indifferent to them. Gender does not play into my opinion about another person.

[Micki_Finn]

I’m sorta with you, but I’m not afraid to admit, I DO have active antagonism. The average straight man is crude, pushy, self-absorbed, and aggressive. Which isn’t to say there are no women like that, but men are far more likely to be and I am definitely not here for it.

[Tracii G]

I am the same as Teri Ray.
I base people by the way they act, gender really isn't a factor.
Have overheard groups of men and women talking that were totally disgusting in their behavior.
Being attracted to guys I tend to look and pay attention to how they act, women not so much.
I have dated some really wonderful guys that were extremely manly and a few weren't so looks doesn't always paint a accurate picture.

[Lana Mae]

I tend to "judge" on an individual basis! Gender generally does not enter into it! Just my $0.02! Hugs Lana Mae

[Davina Katherine]

I try to avoid judging any individuals by a stereo type. (Sadly, I don't always succeed.) Individuals (male or female) are each unique persons.
But today, sitting in the restaurant (alone, without my SO), I became very aware that it wasn't a comfortable feeling. Nobody was rude, threatening, or even took notice of me. I was just another guy having lunch. But, still, there was that internal feeling.

[Pumped]

Groups of people can get rude.

Years ago I went on a fishing trip with a bunch of guys, even thought I told them I was not really interested in fishing. On the boat there was competition of who caught the largest fish, the most fish, and so on. I got ridiculed because I fished a bit, and only caught a couple small fish. I preferred to just sit a visit, but that wasn't good enough. In the evenings the beer, booze and playing cards came out. I am not much of a poker player and I drink some, maybe a couple drinks is enough, so I got ridiculed for not drinking enough and crappy card playing too. It was a miserable time. The next year the trip came up and I was invited again and refused to go. I didn't let on why, but a couple of the guys just kept on how much fun the trip was and I should go again. I don't think they realized that I did not like all the completion and ridicule.

On the other hand I have seen groups of women got down right nasty too, more so when booze is involved.

[Mariabella]

I feel the same and it has gone hand in hand with having a femme side since childhood. I preferred playing with the girls. I never have really liked men since a child even before I was sexually abused by a stepthing. As a younger I would always ?overachieve? my homme persona and grew to hate myself it has only been recently that Maria has held the reigns and I am learning to love myself again.
Indeed much of my dysphoria was seeing what I dislike rather intensely in the mirror.
It is kind of funny. Even before the term transgender existed I felt like a gay woman. Ironic twist to put a gay woman in a male container I think

[BTWimRobin]

I am definitely more comfortable around women and prefer their company. I'm only comfortable around guys if we share the same interests.

[julieanneharton]

Yes, I feel somewhat similarly. I certainly find myself uncomfortable in the company of a certain type of conventionally heterosexual man, and, interestingly enough, often the sort of women they attract as wives (who can be just as homo/transphobic as their husbands). I'm fortunate to live somewhere with a higher than normal ratio of eccentrics (not just in their gender/sexuality, but in general) to "average" people, but I have been shocked on visiting more conventional, conservative parts of the country by just how uncomfortable I feel in the presence of those whose attitude to gender is simply "men are men, women are women, and I know which I am, and what I like!" with at best a rider of "I know we have to accept homosexuals these days, but that doesn't mean I have to have any of them as a friend, except maybe one as a token; and as for 'third genders' that's just liberal poppycock!".

I wasn't always this way. A younger me blindly accepted some very last century hand-me-down views on homosexuality and gender, and would have been one of the very men whose company I now find uncomfortable; I gradually lost those views in my late twenties and early thirties through friendships, experience, self-realisation and acceptance.

[Chloe_S]

I work in construction and have to have that aggressive, macho attitude when I'm around other men. It's a constant competition with other guys at work. That puts me in a good spot when I'm hanging out with other guys. I like hanging out with guys. I think I much prefer the company of a woman. But I seem to connect more with men and have more fun.

- - - Updated - - -


I’m sorta with you, but I’m not afraid to admit, I DO have active antagonism. The average straight man is crude, pushy, self-absorbed, and aggressive. Which isn’t to say there are no women like that, but men are far more likely to be and I am definitely not here for it.
Ya, sounds like me! LOL!

[susan54]

In my social sphere men are good people. No macho posturing or ridiculing other guys for being inadequate. I think there is a link here to education level. But when I go out as Susan I just want to avoid interactions with men if I can as most of these interactions would be with less educated guys. They tend to be unable to cope with a man in a dress which then makes me feel a bit awkward but women seem to take it in their stride.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't like men either. I was beaten by my dad at an early age to establish discipline, beaten by a neighbor boy, teased and beaten up numerous times at school, manipulated and lied to by countless men, a 'friend' took a girl I wanted, with the old, 'all's fair in love and war' remark, so he was apparently not really a friend, and, of course, being molested for many years by an older boy certainly put a damper on trusting males.
I have a general distrust of men in general, and expect them to try to take advantage of me. Doesn't make for establishing good friendships.
Having been lied to and manipulated by my mother throughout my childhood as well, then blackmailed by my ex wife, it's hard for me to trust anyone.
Probably why I spend so much time alone.
Dogs. I trust dogs. And my parrot.
New neighbors at my retirement home seem okay so far.

[alwayshave]

I don't dislike groups of people, individuals certainly.

[Robin-in-TX]

I don't dislike men at all. I might dislike an individual man or an individual woman, but it is strictly based on my interaction with them or observations of their actions toward others. However, socially I am much more comfortable with women and always have been.

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes Miss. I am sorry about all of the horrendous abuse you suffered in youor childhood and life. I can actually relate some, as my dad did not want sons, especially me, the last one. My older twin brothers beat me up in the crib after i came home from the hospital, and have ridiculed me all my life. Two against one. Then I was severely picked on in kindergarten on through high school, wet the bed until about 20 yo. And later picked on badly on jobs. All by boys and men, but a few females too. My siblings do not respect a word i say, or anything i do, even in senior age. My older brothers were criminals, too, and still try to control and manipulate. I still have to fight back from it, at age 65. A family from hell. I have trouble trusting now, too, and i still get used by people, because i try to be good and help others and go the extra mile. Maybe in the next life and world, justice will be done.

[marlacd]

I can generally go with the general opinion rendered here. Most of the time, what few male friends I ever had, tended to take advantage of my good nature. And never lent a hand when I needed it. I have no need for male posturing. No, I have no need to compete with you. I am not impressed.

Another way to view it, there's leaders and followers. I do neigher, so I don't fit in. Meah, my way works, no need to change the game at my age.

[susan54]

Adding to what I said in #14. I am attracted only to women and generally prefer their company and most of my close friends are women. I have met some very admirable men too over the years and I would trust some of them completely. Not so much that I would tell them about my crossdressing but I suspect they would actually be OK. If all you meet are the Neanderthal types then I could see why you hate men and there are lots of these around but lots of others are good people. Daft to write off half the population as unlikeable or worse. If you associate mainly with educated people it is the thoughtless macho ones who have difficulty being accepted. I remember one guy boasting about his sexual conquests and he was avoided by everyone after that - other guys just didn't want to listen to this crap. So there is civilisation out there and some of it is male. I still prefer the female version though.

[Sherrii]

I too feel pretty much that way. I am usually more comfortable hanging and talking with women. I do have a few male friends I like but I don't like most males. Especially groups. I do better one on one with men. I sometimes wonder how women can put up with some of the men around. Sherrii

[Mariabella]

I reread my post and I was too adamant about ?hating?. I try to not hate and I really do not ?hate? men but rather dislike intensely certain behaviors that many men have. Behaviors I either lack or had to fake causing me great emotional harm over the years. I do have men I deeply love and care for in my life. Family and friends who despite the handicap of masculinity are good decent humans. I read an article by a ftm trans who discussed how men are conditioned to cruelty and it was like a bomb went off in my heart. That was what I couldn?t do. I could never do the micro cruelties that mark masculinity.
My love is doing some continuing education and she and another girl are the only ? traditional couples? so the class said to her something about the subject of alternative relationships must be weird.
God I love her! She said no not at all ? I am in a bisexual relationship now with Maria( she used my former name) for thirty years. They looked at her funny and she said ? I am married to a two spirit woman who at times acts like a male?
That shut up the room and they all look at the older lady in class very different. So proud of her so love her. Morning coffee post rambling on.
Much love to you all

[Felicia M]

Great question Jessie Mae -

I have always felt more comfortable in the company of women and I have very rarely been close friends with men. I have a very antagonistic view of men in a more general sense and the social construct of patriarchy. I find the aggression, competition, selfishness, need for control and domination inherent in many men incompatible with my core beliefs.

That being said I get along with most men in almost any situation and have great long lasting friendships with a very few but internally I keep most men at arms length in almost any situation.

I get that internal feeling you expressed from sitting in the restaurant. It's nothing explicit but yet they generally make me feel uneasy.

FM

[Elizabeth G]

I don't actively dislike all men but I find certain expected and accepted typically male behaviors distasteful. I've never really felt like I'm one of the guys and I'm not really bothered by that. I'm just more comfortable with women in general.

[Tracii G]

Oh here we go with the "construct" and "patriarchy" buzz words.
So I guess we are going to turn this thread into a man bashing thing?
I hope not because I like guys.

[Mariabella]

I see more simple honesty about how some feel about masculinity and how it is expressed in a patriarchal society. Not much ?bashing? just recognizing why it is not a fit for a femme and how it plays into dysphoria. You got to admit avg guy is trapped in a societal construct of maleness. And this construct has no place for expressing any feminine traits.
I had to go back and reaffirm I do not ?hate? men but should have said I actually pity them now that I have separated my persona from societies expectations. Such a unfulfilled life most lead absent the softer things that make up living and use women to feel vicariously what is forbidden by society.

[Davina Katherine]

Oh here we go with the "construct" and "patriarchy" buzz words.
So I guess we are going to turn this thread into a man bashing thing?
I hope not because I like guys.

Tracii, there was no intention to bash anyone on my part. Maybe "I don't like men" should have been phrased "I don't feel comfortable with 'other' men". Since I don't feel very "manly" most of the time, never have.

And that translates into "not liking" for me.

As others have said, there are very find, noble and honorable humans who happen to be male. No one gender/sex holds a monopoly on honor or nobility or integrity.

This is most likely my "issue" and not any kind of innate flaw in men.

[Dutchess]

I don't know if this has any connection to my CD'ing and self-identification as gender non-binary. It wouldn't surprise me if it is.
Jessie Mae

This girl does not really like women at all but that doesn't make me a man and I KNOW I am a straight female .
Saying that though , most of the countless TG/CD'ers I have been with and am close too do not seem to like men much . They also have this idea, sometimes vague sometimes strong , that it somehow makes them more of a woman or is some kind of indication that they are really a woman . Strangely most of them had very overbearing moms and/or unpleasant interactions with males early on .
I like a few women but in general I have found them to be petty and backstabbing so each gender has their own issues .

[JenniferMBlack]

I don't like the macho neanderthal behavior many men exhibit. There are some females who exhibit it as well and I dont care for it either. I am certainly not one of the guys and dont really have a desire to become one of them.

[Gaz]

What Dutchess said - I have a fair few guy friends who would certainly be tagged as "neanderthal" by some. Yeah, there are times that their boorish behavior is over the top but it doesn't make them a bad person - and many of them are as loyal and steadfast as any person could want in a friend. Similarly, quite a few of my female friends will descend into similarly stereotypical activities, where their voices go up several octaves and they discuss at length last nights episode of the Bachelor(ette) over sugary cocktails. Not something I enjoy being around, but doesn't make them bad people.

[Asew]

I am not a fan of manly men, can't think of a single friend who would fit that. But I will be friendly to them as needed. But run of the mill men nowadays don't bother me and could be friends.

[LilSissyStevie]

One thing you can say about crossdressers is that we tend to see the gendered world in much more extreme terms than most people do. Women are either tramps or Madonnas and men are thugs and Neanderthals. I've been no exception but as I grow older my gender filter is fading and I am seeing people more how they are. I do know that if/when the SHTF, I don't want to have a bunch of girly boys around me.

[Mariabella]

I guess it boils down for me that male group dynamics are just not comfortable but female group dynamics feels natural. And the true bottom line for me is I like kind warm loving people and have found more among my female peers than my male peers. This all said? It was a man and his friends who used me sexually as a child which plays into my feelings but the greatest betrayal was that my mother turned a blind eye to it. Humans of both sexes can suck badly
I honestly think there may be a genetic component in how we deal with birthsex.

[Alice Torn]

To be honest, i am not a big fan of either men nor women. The human race has been pretty sick and pathetic mostly. I cannot watch |The View| at all. I makes me almost puke. Again, there are not as many real gentlemen, or real ladies anymore. As one person on here often says, men have a little female dna and women have a little male dna. We need to learn from good male and female examples, and be a little like each other. Us Cders are often better men, for what we do. Sadly, we live in extreme times, where the worst of both sexes is shown bigtime on the rotten media.

[Vicky_Scot]

Hi Jessie.

I put a post up a while back regarding the same subject. x

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?266162-Always-Related-To-Woman-amp-Dislike-Being-In-The-Company-Of-Men

[Davina Katherine]

Hi Jessie.

I put a post up a while back regarding the same subject. x

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?266162-Always-Related-To-Woman-amp-Dislike-Being-In-The-Company-Of-Men

Wow, Vicky, we could have grown up in the same family. Me, two older sisters, but my dad was often on the road alot. Got bullied by boys and scorned by girls.
For most of my teenage years it was just my mom and me for long periods of time. And the rest of your life experience is also very much like mine. Your post pre-dated my joining the forum.

Thanks. Jessie Mae

[Alice Torn]

Vicky Scot, Wow, you and i sound almost the same, too. I have been a codependent rescuer , and a soft target, too, but it is just my nature, and i get used all the time, and not thanked for sacrificing myself and means for others. The latest was twice sacrificing my AAA card tow, and $52 to a person. No real thank you from her either. And two different men here needed me to help lift heavy items.. I guess is that they can sniff out my giving nature, and soft heart.

[Tracii G]

The manly guys I know are pretty nice and quite secure in who they are.
One is gay too how about that?
They don't mind having me (a tranny) for a good friend.

[LilSissyStevie]

So, let me get this straight, heterosexual CDs prefer the company of women and hetero women and gay CDs like the company of men and bisexuals go either way!!!!!! Some body needs to do some research on this weird phenomenon.

[Alorob29]

I feel the same and it has gone hand in hand with having a femme side since childhood. I preferred playing with the girls. I never have really liked men since a child even before I was sexually abused by a stepthing. As a younger I would always ?overachieve? my homme persona and grew to hate myself it has only been recently that Maria has held the reigns and I am learning to love myself again.
Indeed much of my dysphoria was seeing what I dislike rather intensely in the mirror.
It is kind of funny. Even before the term transgender existed I felt like a gay woman. Ironic twist to put a gay woman in a male container I think
Hey Maria.
It's funny that I just recently came to this kind of thought just recently and here I I am reading a fellow soul explaining exactly how I felt and am feeling. Thank you.
It's been a long time for me to finally accept Roberta and beginning to let her be her and it's has been an awesome experience so far.
Hope to read you more around.

Xoxo

[SophyV]

I wouldn't say I dislike or am uncomfortable around men. I do feel like I have to be someone else when with men exclusively. I would rather talk to a woman or be one on one with a woman than a man. Even when I need to "be" with a man that mask comes up. It is like those depression commercials with the people holding up the smiley face.

[myrrhlynn]

there are two sorts of people i generally meet. those i enjoy the company of even if i may disagree with some of their basic tenets and ignorant morons. gender rarely plays a role.

[Alice Torn]

AmandaSophy, It is almost the same with me. I have to hide my fem traits, and put on the mask, and act more unnatural, with men and my brother. My brother has always suspected i am gay. I am not gay, but think about being the lady with a guy sometimes, when all dolled up.

[Patience]

I've never bothered to break down my misanthropy along gender lines. It's not an exact science.