Midlife Changes

[JamieTG]

Hi everyone. Has anyone else found that major changes in their inner feminine feelings has occured during late 40's to early 50's? I'm 52 now and it seems my changes started about 6 or 7 years ago. I'm my younger years I felt and acted masculine and my dressing was limited to lingerie. It wasn't until I was 45 that I started expanding my wardrobe and wearing a wig with full makeup. I stayed in that phase for a couple of years but the balance was still to the masculine side. Now what I have seen in the past 4 years is a definite shift of balance to the feminine side. I have feminine feelings at all times now even if I'm not dressed in female clothes. My demeanor, gestures, and even my emotional balance has changed without even trying. For instance I now cry very easily and often where before I vary rarely cried. Even my skin feels much softer yet I've never taken hormones. I'm thinking that the line separating my masculine and feminine side was very thin and that these natural midlife chemical changes was enough to erase that line. I am comfortable where I am right now; somewhere in the middle and just letting things happen at their own pace.
Jamie

[Paula Jaye]

Hi Jamie

I think this is a common experience for many of us. Many changes occur in our lives at this time: children may well have left home, careers have stabilised, sex drive often declines. A lot of the main forces that drive us on in our younger days have subsided and we are often more at ease with ourselves - both male and female aspects. We may have supressed our TG impulses for a longtime so now is the time to explore these feelings more fully.

[livy_m_b]

It happens to a lot of us - maybe it's that grandmothering instinct!

[Annaliese]

I feel the same way I will be 53 in April, I was reading a stroy the other day and cried the hole time. You put in to words just how I feel.

Anna

[MsEva]

As I have..ahem..matured, the main change is in the type of dressing. Earlier on, I tended to dress more in a tartish tone, more or less as a means of arousal. now I just love dressing as a woman of my age does, albiet more trendy. So yes, I have noticed a change.

[DonnaT]

Yes, it does seem that I have experienced similar changes. More emotional (crying), and I sit different where I use to sit and prop an ankle on the other knee, now I'm more apt to sit with one leg tucked under. I also wear fem jewelry (rings, bracelets) even in guy mode, and feel naked without them.

[Lilith Moon]

Yes,

I can say that my TG needs have certainly changed as I have got older. Due to circumstances, my freedom to express these needs is now more limited than ever and yet my need to express them has intensified. The sexual component is still there but the need to appear feminine is much stronger. Some days I feel like a taut piece of string that is about to snap.

And yes, I do cry a lot more readily. Sometimes it is a distressing scene or news item on TV. Other times I start sobbing uncontrollably for no particular reason. Yesterday, I listened to a CD that I used to play when I was able to dress more freely. The memories of good times now ended started me off crying.

[Julie Avery]

Lots of similarities with what's already been posted. Funny how many mention the crying thing.

The whole midlife thing caught me completely by surprise and just bowled me over, the Spring of my only child's senior year in high school. I was only 42. I distinctly remember times I'd be out in public - one time at a grocery store in particular - not thinking about anything special, and my eyes would just start overflowing with tears. I'd try to turn toward a corner so no one would see.

The whole libido thing changed in a big way, becoming more interwoven with emotional closeness, what I now think of as "intimacy" in the non-sexual, or "other than just sexual" sense of that term. I don't think I'd ever felt a need of intimacy in that sense before, and suddenly it became the main thing I felt.

It was not until about 6 years after that, that the intimacy thing and the dressing thing came together for me. It's been a happy integration, I'm much more at peace than I've ever been.

[ginafaye]

53 here it seems i cry at almost any little thing at all for most of my adult life i always seemed to be able to control it i wonder if its as we age are male hormones arent what they used to be and that alows less control of are emotions......

[Joy Carter]

Great question; I was treated with medication for almost twenty years for depression I'm fiftysix. I was still depressed and my MD wanted to explore why and this was his diagnosis, through a blood test my hormone levels were found to be significantly lower because of all the years on antidepressants. He says that my depression would decrease and I would have a better sence of well being if I go on hormone shots. I have no insurance so I have to think about it. I have all the same syptoms that the other Gurlz have but I'm more at peace with myself I'm seeing life through different eyes now. There has been some physical changes but nothing I can't handle. So why go on testosterone shots twice a month for the rest of my life I'm quite happy to feel this way. My SO says that I'm not as assertive as I once was that I'm less prone to argue and disagree. I was relating a story about a dog I once had and I felt myself welling up inside and I felt like crying. I feel that the depression is getting better or is it because I'm more acceppting of myself and other things.

[Teresa Amina]

I think by the mid 40s there is less need to pretend to be something you are not. When you're a teen of course the herd instinct is strongest and also the Competitive instinct can get in the way of "who" you are. At 50 I've seen a lot more of life and death and need to resolve that inner drama which at an earlier age could be ignored. Can it really be that getting older Is better? Life is weird, but can be a really great kind of weird if we are open to the possibilities that come along.

[natasha]

hmmmm, makes me wonder where i myself may be heading. 41 years old now, and this crying thing. I have never been able to watch a sappy movie or watch a significant event take place without my eyes welling up. In fact it is sometimes real hard to hide when youve got to be the macho one.

[Clare]

Ok, well i just turned 43yrs recently and already i'm having many of the 'symptoms' described here.

Ok, part of my responses are because i'm in the middle of an emotionally rough time, (divorce, no access to child, losing house, etc), so just about anything sets me off crying and so forth at the moment.

But deeper within, I sense the same subtle changes occurring that everyone else has mentioned. Uncanny!

[Adrienne Heels]

I am 52 and notice I feel much more feminine lately.....maybe it is something hormonal.

[Julie Avery]

The amount of testosterone in a man's body decreases with age, as you can see, for instance, here (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/testosterone-therapy/MC00030). I don't think I'll be going for any testosterone shots to correct the condition, either :)

[gennee]

I've only crossdressed for only nine months. It was very sensual at first, but as time has passed I have matured. I never had the urge before but now I love to dress. I feel more feminine as time has passed. I get misty eyed when I hear a transgender person killed senselessly. It also happens when I realize how much I love the transgender community. It's strange but to me I'm getting bolder as I age. I just want to live my life to the fullest.

GENNEE

[joanlynn28]

Yes I am finding out that I am having these feellings also. I turned 45 a couple of weeks ago and I am finding myself acting more feminine as a get older. I have always have had this TG thing but have been able to suppress it into my forties. But since I have been outed by my wife I find it nearly impossible to suppress the femine urges. Geez, I want to go shopping all of the time now, where before I only went if I absolutely had to get something. As for the emotional side I cry easily at the slightest thing, I don't think that this happen at all until I hit my thirties. I am putting the blame on hormone levels, I even had my testosterone level checked and it was normal for a 44 year old male. I agree that having TG tendecies to begin with doesn't help my condition when the natural hormone levels decrease with age. I am crying right now and I don't know why and it is making my makeup run down my face. If i cry like this now what would happen to me if I choose to transition and start HRT, man the waterworks are really going to start flowing then. I just feel more like a woman everyday, at least like a post menopause one.

[Michellemartyn]

Thank god Im not going mad, Im 51 and had a bad time with this for five or six years now. Iv always dressed but had it under control mostly, but this last year or two every thing you girls have said is in my life.
Its great to know im not the only T girl going though this the funny thing is I now like a good cry at times it makes me feel better and I don,t mind saying so.
Thanks for shareing this with me xxxx

[elizabeth nicole]

I must agree with what the rest of you have said,till thursday last week i thought i was loosing my mind.The doc gave me the news that my testosterone levell was down to less than 25% of normal ,and he agrees with julie a dont do the replacement therapy.may cause more problems in the future and at 55 and a surviving cancer patient i dont need the new problems.he also sad that some things may happen that i may be embarassed by. said my voice may start to soften and i may start to have less body hair,like i care.:D

[Abby]

Like Elizabeth I did not want to take hormones, but my blood was too high even taking pillls. I was tested for testosterone and found to be very low. Under a doctors supervision I've been applying a gel for 2 months and my blood sugar level is now in a acceptable range. I was taking 8 pills a day and am now down to 4 a day. I have had no noticable side effects. Hope this helps someone.

Abby

[Jennaie]

I must agree with what the rest of you have said,till thursday last week i thought i was loosing my mind.The doc gave me the news that my testosterone levell was down to less than 25% of normal ,and he agrees with julie a dont do the replacement therapy.may cause more problems in the future and at 55 and a surviving cancer patient i dont need the new problems.he also sad that some things may happen that i may be embarassed by. said my voice may start to soften and i may start to have less body hair,like i care.:D

Where do I sign up? Just kidding.

I have always been sensitive and cried very easily. As most others my dressing started at a very early age. Today, I do feel fem much of time, reguardless of how I am dressed. Hard to understand all this but I have no real problem accepting it for what it is.

I am going to be 51 in a couple months and I have to say, I think I make a better looking female than male. lol.

[ashlee chiffon]

looks and sounds like...
you're turning from a girl into a mature woman...just took awhile for your body to catch up to your mind! Congrats and hugggs...