Exitement/fun for closet cds

[binni101]

What do you closet cds do for exitement/fun? I mean like wear underwear/hosiery and where. The risk of getting caught is half the fun . How far have you gone? :)

[Robertacd]

You have to understand that most of the closeted dressers do not want to get caught.

[Star01]

In my case I shave my body and legs and use red nail polish on my toenails and clear on fingernails and that keeps me feeling somewhat feminine but it's certainly not a substitute for dressing fully. I've been married for decades and I'm not in a clingy relationship. I've got a CD friend about an hour away that invites me to come over and dress from time to time. In addition to that I have my office on the lower level with music equipment and a bed so I can sleep down here when I"m "working late" on my hobby music and art projects. I am very close to coming out about this as right now all this hiding makes me feel like a teenager with a secret magazine stash under the mattress. That's no way to live as I approach 70 but the unknown regarding what would happen are holding me back.

[April Rose]

If you don't want to/can't afford to be caught, It's not going to be fun if it happens. I'd be careful. If you do feel the need to get out, try and join a meetup or support group. You will meet like minded people, and it will ease your way out the door.

If you are determined to stay in the closet, I always found that the times that I dressed as completely and in as dressy an outfit as possible to be the most fun. Picking just the right shoes for the outfit, getting your makeup to really work, all the while being in a pretty dress and working on your feminine mannerisms all have a way of making time fly.

[Star01]

If you don't want to/can't afford to be caught, It's not going to be fun if it happens. I'd be careful. If you do feel the need to get out, try and join a meetup or support group. You will meet like minded people, and it will ease your way out the door.

If you are determined to stay in the closet, I always found that the times that I dressed as completely and in as dressy an outfit as possible to be the most fun. Picking just the right shoes for the outfit, getting your makeup to really work, all the while being in a pretty dress and working on your feminine mannerisms all have a way of making time fly.

I have been dressing for decades and she knows that I used to do that, just doesn't want to discuss it, but could be thinking that I "grew out of it" since then. She has given me jewelry and made comments over the years so I don't worry about it as I think she probably knows more than I think.

I think the bigger challenge besides finding time to dress for those doing it stealth is obtaining clothes that fit well. In my case I don't handle the bills so I'm going to get asked about unfamiliar cc purchases which prevents me from shopping online. My only options where I feel comfortable are an intimate apparel shop and a costume store that also has some lingerie and wigs, etc. The only other option is to get a prepaid card and have things delivered to a trusted CD friend's home but I wouldn't want any mailings coming to me so I'd have to look into that as well.

My life already got complicated back in the early 60's the first time I found my late step mother's clothes in the attic. This is something about me that has been with me for decades and is here to stay regardless of how I handle it. I'm driven by a need to learn more and eventually will probably be making some changes.

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What do you closet cds do for exitement/fun? I mean like wear underwear/hosiery and where. The risk of getting caught is half the fun . How far have you gone? :)

To the contrary, the risk of getting caught is zero motivation for dressing with me, just one possibility that I'd have to deal with if it happened. I'm going to yield to some input from others as I don't want to be the only closet CD involved in this discussion. My situation is pretty lax for a closet CD, no worries or regrets except maybe if I kicked the bucket unexpectedly a couple of my adult kids would get a laugh if they found my clothes. I've got one daughter who is bi and another who went to therapy and recently come out as lesbian so with all that going on they probably wouldn't get very excited about me.

[Stephanie47]

"Getting caught is half the fun?" I had to add the question mark. Have you ever been caught in a compromising situation? Has anything blown up in your face? I do not wear women's clothing for fun. I wear women's clothing to satisfy an inner need. Yes, I am closeted in the sense I do not wear women's clothing in front of my wife. Part of the issue is for my needs, it is all or nothing. That being said, I am increasingly wearing women's nylon panties although only in black or white. I am able to sleep in a floor length nightgown because my wife and I sleep apart due to snoring and her back issues. Sometimes I do wear hosiery under my jeans. When my wife is away visiting overnight I will be totally en femme and go out for a drive and stroll. However, I would not do that for fun. I do it to totally reacquaint myself with my inner needs. I also have taken up collecting my favorite styles on panties in all the possible colors and prints. Sort of like collecting stamps I will never use to mail letters.

[GaleWarning]

Getting caught by someone who is unsupportive is not funny (or exciting).

[Elizabeth G]

My wife and family know I dress but I'm closeted to the rest of the world and my wife prefers to not see me fully dressed. Due to that situation I find myself doing things that are risky and perhaps foolish. For me that risk is quite stressful but the compulsion and need is so strong that I feel I must do something or else snap. So I underdress and paint my toenails and I clear coat my fingernails among other things. This helps but it doesn't fully address my needs.

[LilSissyStevie]

The "getting caught" fantasy is one of the staples of CD/forced feminization literature. A typical example would be where a CD is trying on his wife's underthings while she is out but then she comes back unexpectedly and catches him. As punishment she forces him to be her slave and to dress and act like a girl forevermore by threatening to expose him to everyone. There's a million variations and embellishments on that basic theme. My own feeling is that these types of fantasies are based, not on a desire for this to happen, but on anxiety about it. It's simply away to cope with that angst. A non CD example of an anxiety based fantasy would be like a person who frets about being perceived as a wimp. The thing a wimp fears most is getting into a fight but they may cope with their anxiety by indulging in superhero fantasies where they are out thrashing the bad guys right and left. This is also an example of a sadistic fantasy where you get to enjoy inflicting pain on "bad guys." The "getting caught" fantasy is an example of masochism and is based on the fear of being perceived as feminine. Other masochistic fantasies that appear regularly in CD literature would be like small penis humiliation (obvious what the anxiety is here), cuckoldry (fear of sexual inadequacy), gay fantasies when you're actually straight (fear that you are or may be perceived as homosexual), rape fantasies (anxiety about powerlessness), etc. Masochistic fantasies aren't about enjoying pain, they're a way to cope with it. So cope all you like.

[Robertacd]

In addition to what LilsissySteve said, sometimes when people want to come out but can't gather up enough courage to come out on their own, they will often do risky things just to get caught.

Thereby forcing themselves to come out.

[Teresa]

Binni,
Perhaps you could have reworded , " Being caught , good or bad ? " Or pehaps just ask the question , " Do you really want to be caught ?"

I believe most CDers want or need to be caught , who by is the problem ? Most of us soon reach the point when we want validation , the question soon arises in most of how do I look and how can I make it better ? Finally to the Holy Grail of can I pass as a woman ?

I admit it is either a fantastic and exhilarating high with a chance meeting with some people or a disasterous low when it's the wrong person , I'm sure most of us can tell stories of playing with that fire !

I look back on all this a series of stepping stones , it's a progression some of us go through to find oursleves . I remember with a smile when I was wearing a Wonderbra under my shirt and I met a group of policemen looking for a lost person , I'd forgotten to take the enhancers out and one guy spoke continually to my chest !

I have to admit my heart could no longer stand the strain of taking two steps at a time when racing upstairs when I heard my wife arrive home unexpected , thank goodness those days are a distant memory .

[Harriet Staar]

I enjoy wearing lingere item under my outer / day clothes. Its the feeling of that i have a special secret that no one knows and the way they feel that i like. I also love buying clothes from charity / second hand stores working out if i have the sizings correct. Such a buzz when i get something that fit perfectly.

[dana digs sweaters]

"Exitement/fun for closet cds

What do you closet cds do for exitement/fun?"

Shopping as a boy and then returning dolled up to show the sales gals what I look like in person :o

[NancyJ]

Dressing in feminine clothing does not excite me. It calms and reassures me. Nancy

[Crissy 107]

That is a very good point by NancyJ, I would say I am very much this way.

[abby054]

What do you closet cds do for exitement/fun?

Uh-h-h...Dressing up in nice femme clothes, shoes, and accessories. Building gorgeous outfits and wearing them. Shopping when I can get to town.

In drab, the same things that most guys do in the remote Pacific Northwest, such as camping, hiking, biking, fishing, etc.

[JenniferMBlack]

Just being seen is more fun then being caught in my opinion. Maybe not so much adrenaline. But to be out and be seen by multiple poeple at the same time and to get out for a day or multiple days. Far better then the hiding and maybe being caught. I have done both so I can speak from experience.

[Rachellovesdresses]

Just waiting for a moment to slip into something special.

[Jodie_Lynn]

"getting caught", as others have said, is a fantasy that many crossdressers seem to have. A fantasy that often leads to the "catcher" not only being receptive, but being an active and eager participant in the further feminization, humiliation, and degradation of the 'caught'.

Sadly for the fantasist, the outcome is never as pleasant as they hope for.

[docrobbysherry]

Well, Binni, lot's of TS's don't like to discuss it. But, closet T's, of which I count myself, r often turned on by their fem selves!:o

I'm straight and here's what I see in my mirror.:daydreaming:
Nuff said!:devil:
308350

[Ressie]

How far have I gone? I've been to other towns that are around 50 miles from home.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I like to photograph myself in different looks----And , of course, I too and turned on by my fem self (what straight guy wouldn't be ;) )

[SHINY-J]

As someone who is a closet dresser and has been for awhile, venturing out in public is an unbelievable thrill... especially in my outrageous , over the top outfits.. However, I only venture out in public to remote, secluded places very late at night where I?m safe and alone... the thrill of being out in public, completely exposed and completely vulnerable is an indescribable rush.... it?s so exciting for me that it?s honestly hard to put into words. Strutting around in my outrageous outfits, massive breast forms, outrageous teased hair, heavy makeup, long nails, waist cinched tightly in a corset, sky high platform heels and boots on my 6?4? frame making me almost 7 feet tall, ... the thrill is greater than just about anything else I?ve ever experienced.... and while I?m petrified of getting spotted by someone, I can admit that deep down inside, I?m secretly wishing someone would see me... and I can also admit that deeper down inside, that I know getting spotted is just a fantasy and that I?m honestly just terrier of getting caught.lol

Other than posting pics on the internet and my late night adventures in Crossdressing, my CDing is behind closed doors. I honestly want to take it further, but I?m too scared and it?s hard to find like-minded dressers like me.

[binni101]

I did not mean that I wanted to get caught, I just wanted to see what others CDs do for fun/exitement :)

For me, when I worked as a tech support, I would sometimes take the late shift. Then I would wear a thong, 20 den pantyhose, short skirt and high heels behind the desk. Looked all male from the hallway :)

[giuseppina]

That isn't something I would do, Binni. There are often security cameras around workplaces these days to catch wrongdoing.

Employers are quite capable of inventing a performance based reason to dismiss an employee, getting around antidiscrimination laws. The onus of proof of wrongdoing is on the ex-employee.

[DanielleCD]

"Exitement/fun for closet cds

What do you closet cds do for exitement/fun?"

Shopping as a boy and then returning dolled up to show the sales gals what I look like in person :o

That is awesome!

[SashaHeat]

Dressing in feminine clothing does not excite me. It calms and reassures me. Nancy

I am in the same boat with you on this. It gives me a calming, soothing feeling. It's not about the excitement, it's about relaxing and enjoying.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't crossdress for fun or thrills. I do it to feel normal. Fun and thrills are riding a motorcycle, driving a sports car, or maybe going to an amusement park with big roller coasters. Basically, I'm an adrenaline junkie, and enjoy going fast, or having the sensation of going fast. When I can't go out, flight sims do the trick.

[Star01]

I don't crossdress for fun or thrills. I do it to feel normal. Fun and thrills are riding a motorcycle, driving a sports car, or maybe going to an amusement park with big roller coasters. Basically, I'm an adrenaline junkie, and enjoy going fast, or having the sensation of going fast. When I can't go out, flight sims do the trick.

I have been meaning to make a post about some of the adrenaline junkie stuff I have done (including launching planes off a carrier and auto racing photography) and what connection those things had to my crossdressing persona. Looking back I have always been the smallish weak guy with small hands who wasn't good at sports and would rather sit and chat with the women than a bunch of guys. In retrospect I feel like I have spent most of my adult life attempting to put a punctuation mark on my manliness which when you cut through the clutter indicates that I feel inadequate in that role which is absolutely true. I am still stealth with my dressing but the additional time I have now being retired has me thinking about dressing all the time and climbing the walls because I can't.

[RADER]

I wear a bra and panties 24/7, for over 8 years now. And I have never been caught yet.
Rader

[JuliaGirl]

The risk of getting caught is half the fun.
I just posted a new thread that is the opposite of this ... the risk of being nearly caught (this very morning) was, for me, the most terrifying and panic-stricken moment I've had in decades. It is not half the fun ... it's not fun at all for some of us.

[Desiree2bababe]

I used to do that for the ladies at World of Wigs. They got the biggest kick out it and treated me so fine.


"Exitement/fun for closet cds

What do you closet cds do for exitement/fun?"

Shopping as a boy and then returning dolled up to show the sales gals what I look like in person :o

[Patience]

What do closeted crossdressers do for fun?

Why, they crossdress, of course!

[Angie G]

I dress at home almost 24/7. Now that is cold here in New York I sometimes wear pantyhose always pant and a bra with forms under my coat. standing and talking to someone with all this on is such a rush. :hugs:
Angie

[Star01]

It seems to me that the risk of getting caught is incredibly high and the consequences of getting caught are comparable. All things considered, it seems that the best course of action...in terms of risk management...is to find a way to come out to your SO. I know from personal experience that coming out is itself a risky endeavor, and in my case it didn?t work....or more accurately, upon receiving a measure of tolerance, I overplayed my hand and now I have a second ex-wife.

I had that talk in the mid 80's so that coming out to my SO ship sailed a long time ago. I'm locked into a decades old agreement that is not open for renegotiation. DADT and her not wanting to discuss it or see me dressed is the resulting arrangement that has been in place ever since. I shave and clear coat my fingernails (red secretly applied to toenails) but she has gotten used to that and even bought me my clear polish that I tell her I'm using to prevent nails from splitting. During that time I have dressed and purged a couple times and have currently been back to dressing for approximately seven years. There are likely many on this forum that had the talk years ago and are locked into some type of non-negotiable agreement and hesitate to revisit them out of fear of a worse agreement or having to deal with a major meltdown.

[Stephanie47]

I'm in the same boat as Star. My wife and I had "The Talk" in the mid 1980's when it became absolutely clear she was not comfortable at all with my cross dressing. Up until the time when she found my vivid red Vanity Fair bra (daughter yanked it out of my armoire bottom draw) there was "bedroom play" with lingerie. Over the years she has found an article of clothing which I failed to put away or water balloons in the sink that I failed to pop and dispose of. She has found my browser open to this site. No snide comments. Nothing. Nadda. Nil. It can drive a guy to drink when the elephant in the room is avoided. Maybe an argument can be made that I am subconsciously trying to get caught. If I am, it isn't working. I wonder what her reaction would be if she did come home unexpectedly to find me all dolled up from head to toe, wig to heels?

[Star01]

It can drive a guy to drink when the elephant in the room is avoided.

That probably explains the open beer that is sitting in front of me at noon because it can cause some stress being restricted at home. In my case I have friends that I visit and get dressed up and sit around like we're auditioning for the neighborhood bridge club or something.

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At first glance DADT and having to hide my dressing at home sounds like it would be an impossible situation but in my case it's not as bad as it might sound. Star fits neatly into an extra large hiking style backpack and makes frequent visits to friends who share her interests. Star sleeps in a separate room on another level of the the home and gets dressed and quietly takes a few photos every now and then. Could it be better? That is an unknown that comes with risks and I am thinking about revisiting our agreement but am giving it a lot of time and careful consideration before deciding if, when and how I want to go forward with it.

[Michelle43]

Getting caught is not exciting for me at all. I do dress for excitement (sexual) and it also relaxes me at the same time if that makes sense. I have terrible anxiety and it's one of the things that allows me to relax.