Why I decided to cross-dress.

[Kimberly A.]

Hey y'all! :-) I know, I'm posting a lot today but I am excited to have found this forum and I am very appreciative of everyone who has replied to my posts so far, plus all of the kindness that has been shown to me. I am also grateful to have found a place where I can be who I want to be without the fear of being of judged. I am also thankful for all of the warm welcomes to this forum, as well as to the moderators for approving me.

Anyway, I wanted to post about why I decided to be a cross-dresser. First of all, I was the only boy in my family..... I grew up with 6 sisters, (one full sister, three half-sisters and two step-sisters), plus I have three female cousins on my dad's side, (his brother's daughters) and I was raised very closely with all of them. Now as I said in my introductory post, I am a 100% straight man, I am not attracted to other men in the least. I have been told, however, only once in my life by an ex-girlfriend that I "act too feminine" for her and she "needs a manly man", so she dumped me..... Go figure. But, I have noticed since that girl told me that, I act a little more feminine than most straight men do. I think it is because that I was raised with girls my entire life, I have been able to make friends with girls better than I have with guys. But, that really doesn't explain why I decided to start cross-dressing. Perhaps I have more of the estrogen hormone in me than testosterone? I really don't know. But, I do know that I want to remain a man, I don't want to be a M2F transgender. Anyway, the reason I cross-dress is because for a long, LONG time it has been a fantasy of mine and I wanted to see how I would look and feel dressed as a woman. And so, I tried it and now I'm practically hooked on being a CD and I cannot WAIT to do it again and to go out dressed again. I'm not in any way, shape or form a pervert and it's really not any kind of sexual thing for me, it just makes me feel really good and it almost makes me feel like that's who I'm supposed to be. The other night when I went out dressed for the first time, it felt SO wonderful, natural and amazing. Also, it felt SO freeing, I mean the freedom I felt to know that I could go out dressed up..... Ain't nothing like it! LOL I'm sorry, I get excited and I'm excited about being able to cross-dress. Also, as I'm sure we all know, women's clothes feel a lot better than men's. LOL Do any of you feel this way as well? I would love to know y'alls thoughts on this.

[docrobbysherry]

So happy to have u here, Kim!:thumbsup:

But, prepare for what could be an avalanche coming! Most here would NOT describe their dressing as a "choice".:doh:

I'm so sorry dressing doesn't turn u on like it does many of us.:battingeyelashes:
But, we don't consider ourselves perverts. Altho I did for a long time.:straightface:

[alwayshave]

Doc, is right, my dressing is not a choice. It is something that I have always been compelled to do. That being said I have a whole bunch of sisters as well.

[Tracii G]

No need to try and make the point you are not gay because crossdressing and sexual preference have nothing to do with each other.
Seems you are in it for the clothes and I can understand that.
To be honest there are a thousand reason for dressing and everyone is different so don't think you have to be explaining why you dress to us we get it.
Don't read too deep into why you enjoy dressing because you may never really find an answer and thats OK.
No law says you have to know why and just because you grew up around a bunch of girls means very little really.
Most of my friends growing up were girls in the neighborhood because there were more of them.
That had nothing to do with me dressing or being gay/ trans.
Dressing for me completes me and makes me feel like I am supposed to.

[BTWimRobin]

Dressing is most definitely NOT a choice but rather a necessity to keep me from going crazy.

[bridget thronton]

Welcome to the forum

[CayleeMarie]

Echoing what others here have said, the reasons we dress are unique to us. For as many of us as there are there are that many reasons of how or why we dress. How each of us got started and at what age is also a unique experience. There is also no consistent direct correlation between dressing and gender preference or gender identity. Also, now that you have opened that door, be prepared to be overwhelmed with the desire to dress whenever you have the opportunity. That being said, I never shop for man clothes anymore. Every new acquisition now comes from the women?s department. I am blessed to have a supportive wife who allows me the freedom to explore this side of myself. So far my only dressing outside of the house has been in the company of a couple of friends in their home which has been very empowering. The more I do that the more I want to get out into the real world. What started out as intrigue has for me blossomed into something that approaches obsession. Once you start, there is no going back! Enjoy the journey!

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Kimberly and welcome to the forum.

Like others have said, my crossdressing is not a choice but a drive or a compulsion deep within me. I don't know exactly why I dress and probably never will. That doesn't bother me as I have gotten over worrying about why I do it and have just accepted it as part of who I am. FWIW I come from a family of two brothers and no close female relatives so not much exposure to things feminine growing up.

So just have fun and enjoy yourself!

Elizabeth

[Teresa]

Kimberly,
First welcome to the forum .

I'm sure you echo many feelings of other members with your comments , I can look back to your age and think what a high it was .

You mention several labels but most won't apply it's best to forget them , most of us aren't gay but then it shouldn't be a problem , if it's sexual or not does it really matter , it's your life , whatever drives your current needs is your business but as we progress the needs change . I never dreamed I would be living it full time but it's now a reality .

The way my dressing started is way different to yours but then most us can tell a different story , the fact is we are driven by a need and I agree when you can come to terms with it , it is wonderful to live it but for some of us it has come at a price .

[Kimberly A.]

Thank you, docrobbysheery! May I call you Doc for short from here on in? Also when I joined this forum, I was prepared for pretty much anything, however I've found nothing but kindness and acceptance so far, so I really do appreciate that. But yes, CDing IS a choice for me..... Of course, I can choose not to do it, but I choose TO do it because it just feels so darn good! LOL

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Hi Jamie, that's cool. But for me, (and I hope this doesn't tick anyone off), dressing IS a choice. But also like I said, I almost feel like it's who I'm supposed to be..... Like I'm more feminine than I am masculine.

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I totally understand, Tracii. I just wanted to share my story and why I started CDing?.. Also, I totally agree that clothing doesn't determine a person's sexuality, it's like men who just want maybe want to wear panties under their masculine clothes, or like me, pantyhose or tights under shorts when I dress normally. That certainly doesn't determine my sexuality, despite what others in society may think.
But you're right, I am in it for the clothes for one thing, because women's clothes feel look better than men's and it just feels so good to me to feminize myself and to dress up.
Well, I didn't feel like I had to explain myself to everyone here. I just kinda felt like, for one thing, it was a way for everyone here to get to know me a little bit better.
I think I feel pretty much the same way that everyone else here feels, like you said..... Dressing completes me and it almost makes me feel like that's who I'm supposed to be. I'm a truck driver and right now, I'm sitting in my truck, waiting for a load assignment and I'm dressed in a men's t-shirt and blue jeans with tights underneath my jeans, (it's VERY cold out today) and I MISS being dressed up. I missed it when I had to take it all off and go back to work. LOL
But thank you for your advice. :-)

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Robin, I can understand that..... But for me, dressing IS a choice and it's very relaxing to me to do it. Of course, I can choose to not be a CD, but I enjoy it so much.

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Thank you, Bridget. :-)

[jacques]

hello Kimberly,
thanks for posting on he forum and I hope you find it as helpful and supportive as I do.
Your perspective as an adult choosing to take up crossdressing is different from mine (and perhaps many other members of the forum); I drifted into it in my childhood without know why I did it or even having the ability to know why! Crossdressing, in one form or another has always been part of me and sometimes it has been a burden.
I am glad you are enjoying your new freedom!
luv J

[Kimberly A.]

Thank you for your comments, CayleeMarie?.. I totally understand. I already feel overwhelmed with the need to dress. When I went out dressed this past Saturday night for the first time, it was one of the most exciting and exhilarating feelings I had ever felt. I felt like more myself, really than I do when I'm dressed in masculine clothes. As I said in a reply to Tracii, dressing completes me and almost makes me feel like that's who I'm supposed to be. I agree with your comment about being intrigued to dress, then it becomes an obsession..... I'm constantly thinking about it, I miss it already and I can't wait to do it again. Right now, I'm sitting in my truck, waiting for a load assignment and I'm wearing a men's t-shirt, blue jeans, but tights underneath my jeans. But thank you for your comments, I appreciate it!

[Davina Katherine]

Kimberly, your history sounds very much like mine. Raise by females, etc etc. My GF didn't dump me, we got married.
Yeah, I think I know what you mean.
That feeling when you dress... like no other!

Jessie Mae

[Kimberly A.]

Thank you for your comment, Elizabeth I appreciate it! :-)

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Thank you, Teresa. :-)
I appreciate your comments as well. I am sorry to hear that your dressing came at a price..... I hope mine doesn't. I do look forward to sharing with everyone my next outing dressed, but unfortunately I won't be able to do it again for another couple of weekends.

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Jacques, thank you! Yes, I am enjoying CDing so far, I hope I continue to.

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Jessie Mae, thank you! I appreciate that. :-)

[Cheryl T]

Welcome to the forum

For me it's never been a choice or a "hobby".
I began very young (5 or 6) and never had a desire to stop. I'm an only and for me the beginning was this inner voice that kept whispering for me to try on my mother's things. First panties, then a bra and the rest is history.
Happily married to an understanding and supportive woman.

[Tracii G]

I drove a big rig for over 40 years but I never dressed while out on the road just wasn't time for it.
Always on the go trying to make truck,taxes and fuel payments.
It was a good career and I did well so no complaints.

[Stephanie47]

I can understand if you're raised in a household of girls and women some of their mannerisms and thoughts processes are going to be absorbed by you. I would suspect the woman who 'dumped' you because you were not manly enough for her was raised among men different than you.

I shared a bedroom with a brother. I was rough and tumble. I got into trouble all the time. I played sports in the streets and playgrounds. I had no inkling of what was coming my way when I hit puberty. I certainly would not have chosen to wear women's clothing. For me this is not free will. Why would a "man" choose to dress like a woman and encounter all the non-acceptance society and potential mates heap upon you? There is no logic to it. If I had anything to say about the matter I would not wear women's clothing. But, alas, I have come to realize for me clothing choices are just the outward expression of who is am.

The time period in which I grew up probably made imprints on me. In the 1950's and early 1960's, which are my formative years, absolutely no women around me wore pants. Women wore dresses, anywhere from being dolled up to the nines to wearing a simple shift dress to go grocery shopping. I only wear dresses and would never consider wearing women's pants or jeans. That's me. I was artistic as a kid. I loved to draw. I am drawn to color and shapes. I love flowers and raising flowers. My choice of dresses tends to shapes and patterns. I especially love floral prints. My point is for most of us there is some imprinting done early on which governs how we want to appear when we emulate a woman.

When I wear women's clothing I feel complete. I don't wear women's clothing unless there is some serious motivation to wear the garb for the day. I also feel complete when I am dressed as a male. I love myself with five days growth of a beard and wearing a ratty pair of jeans, no socks and a plain white tee shirt. I no longer try to figure all this out.

Welcome to the forum and do what you want to do. Good luck on your journey of self expression.

[Micki_Finn]

Welcome to the forum and your journey. I’ve seen the whole “feminine household” theory advanced a few times on these forums. I’m not going to say it’s completely bunk, but I’ll provide a counterpoint. I was raised exclusively by my father basically from the time I could remember. It was strictly a “man’s” house. No feminine influence there. And yet here I am!

Anyway, glad you found us and enjoy your stay.

[Jessifox85]

Kimberly, welcome to the forum! Like many have said already most see it as a compulsion and CDing does not define your sexuality. I myself was raised around mostly females but grew up as your regular boy. Crossdressing for me brings out freedom and excitement. I dont go out dressed but I still enjoy that feminine side around the house. For me it's the female shape (breast, hips, ect.) And the clothes just accentuate that. I've always enjoyed the thought of being a woman but I have no wish to transition. I'm more than happy as my male self. Also I used to think it was perverted, but this site really helped me understand that it's part of me and perfectly normal to feel this way. And your absolutely right, this place is judgement free and you can express how you really feel without persecution. Again welcome, and I hope to see you around here.
- Jessi

[Helen_Highwater]

Kimberly.

The "Why" question has been discussed so many times and if you can find one definitive answer other than it makes me feel good you'll have done the dressers equivalent of splitting the atom. Don't fret it, simply enjoy it.

As for the straight/Gay thing. No hard evidence for this but from what I see by way of posts the proportion of Gay CD'ers is about the same as gays in the general population. If you were Gay then here it's not a issue. We share a common bond, it's as simple as that.

[Star01]

I did not decide to crossdress. Crossdressing or "the pink fog" as it's often referred to sought me out and found me. The thing I'm finding out is that one can go through life keeping her tucked away in her little closet and letting her out when you feel a need. At some point she may decide with no advanced warning to up the ante which is where I have found myself lately. I have no idea where this ride is going to take me from here. She may go into hibernation as winter and holidays set in or she may have been released from her shackles and cause all kinds of craziness. I'm really not sure where this latest resurgence is taking me but I can say without hesitation that I did not seek her out.

[April Rose]

Another one here who does not see it as a choice. Somehow I just belong in women's clothes. Going through therapy helped me to feel better about myself, but it didn't really do much to explain exactly why feminine clothes are so important to me.

In my younger days the clothing was enough; I didn't really feel the need for a feminine role. As I have aged that has become more comfortable to me as well.

[RainbowDash]

Before I began crossdressing, which was late in life at 42, I thought that whoever did it was choosing to do so. I thought surely no one would dress that way unless they chose that lifestyle.
As I started my journey and opened up a new and very exciting chapter in my life, I began to slowly realize that with each article of women's clothing I bought, that it wasn't exactly a choice. There was my manly side that told me "This is wrong! You'll be seen as a freak, a sissy!", and I found myself questioning why I did it. Then my feminine side started demanding more and more time from me, screaming for more opportunities to be unleashed, which I was more than happy to do. I had to buy more clothes in order to express my feminine side.

[Robertacd]

Welcome, I see you have yourself all figured out...

Or do you?

While environmental influences can be one of many factors. The "boy growing up in a house full of girls" doesn't hold up to realities like my stepbrother was raised my his mother and four older sisters yet he is a tough biker dude that would beat the crap out of someone for not saying hello....

[NikiMichelle]

Like many others here today I did not decide to become a crossdresser. How could I because I was 4 or 5 and did not even know what a crossdresser was or even if I wore my sisters leotards that it would be perceived as bad???

I am in my early 60?s and I still do not know what me a CD???

[Jenny22]

Kimberly, here's a challenge to affirm choice or something stronger.. For 3 weeks, STOP CDing, if you can, because it's your choice to do so. Be honest about it. I'll bet you a dollar to a hole in a donut that you can't do it. Your mind will constantly be challenging you to dress, and you'll want to, not by choice but out of a need to do so. And if you do dress, even in just panties, you'll then realize that CDing is not a choice, but a necessity.

[April Rose]

Jenny, I've stopped for years at a time, so 3 weeks doesn't sound like a real test. I get your point though; sooner or later it will come back.

[Kimberly A.]

Jenny, whether or not you believe it, it IS a choice for ME to CD...... It may not be for you or anyone else here, but it is for me as an individual person and no one can change my mind about that.

Now like I said in my original post, I started CDing a while back, like last year around Halloween, (I'm talking about 2018). Then I stopped for a while, for about 5 months or so. Then, I CHOSE to CD again because I like it and it feels good. Now, could I stop if I wanted? Again, believe it or not, absolutely I could.

So, I do apologize if by me saying that I choose to CD, rather than it being a necessity for me offends anyone. It's just how I feel about myself when it comes to CDing.

[Alice Torn]

Cding is a strong compulsion for me, but most of the time i choose not to dress up. Just like slot machines are an compulsion for me, but i usually choose to not go play. It is a choice for me, to dress, but the strong desire for certain women's clothing, but not all, is not a choice. It is a choice what i do with the occasional strong desires.

[Princess Chantal]

Kimberly,
Like any other of my interests, my crossdressing is an activity that I choose to partake in when I want to or not. Don’t get all that worked up about people generalizing crossdressing on here and discrediting how you perceive your crossdressing. There are some that don’t generalize and have shown respect to the different takes on crossdressing eventhough it may differ than theirs.

[Kimberly A.]

Robertacd, I read your reply to me a few days ago and I've been pondering your question..... Do I have myself figured out? Perhaps I don't yet. But that doesn't mean that CDing chooses me, I choose it. And yeah, maybe I'm still re-discovering myself or discovering a different side of myself and finding out that despite being as masculine as I am, I have a strong feminine side..... I hope this makes sense. LOL