Is she right?

[Angela Marie]

A question for all. I ordered a snug sweater to wear with a pair of black leggings when I go out this week. My wife said it was not too tight but snug. She further opined that I should wear some looser fitting clothes since, as she put it, "you're not 25 anymore trying to pick up a guy" lol. Now I am 65 but i'm 5ft 6 135-140 so I do have the build for it. Is she overreacting or am I being unrealistic in my choice of clothing?

[SashaHeat]

You're both right. You should dress age appropriate if you want to blend in more. However, you should dress in what makes you comfortable as well. Im still learning this balance for sure, always a work in progress.

[Sandi Beech]

That reminds me of a song: ...Those soft fuzzy sweaters - too magical to touch...

Anyhow, I know what she means, but if you look good in something, you look good. I am not far from your age and I wear things that typically a younger women would wear like short skirts. The thing is, young girls have complemented me on what I wear frequently. If you get complements, then I would go with it - unless you get put in the dog house because of it. My wife is DADT so I can't ask, but if I could mine would say the same thing. I can see her now wagging her finger at me - act your age. Haha.

Sandi

[Micki_Finn]

Without knowing YOU personally Or seeing the exact outfit, it’s hard to say. I can wear a dress and look demure and classy, but if my wife wore the same dress it would be obscene with her bust. I will say when it comes to age, it’s not so much “having the build” for it as other factors.

[Jenny22]

Angela, if you actually look younger when dressed pretty, and in makeup, you could elect dressing like the age you appear to be. I know how you want to appear in your sweater, but don't let them be like headlights. That's your wife's concern, me thinks.

[Aunt Kelly]

It depends... Are you looking to pick up guys, or at least attract that kind of attention? Then tight and short is the right look. If, on the other hand, you wish to be treated with respect and courtesy due a woman your age, dress the part.

[Stephanie47]

I went back and looked at some of your postings of pictures. I think some of the outfits were a little short for your age based on societal norms and expectations. As to a snug sweater and leggings I think your wife is keyed into that societal norms concept. She knows your age and assumes you're not looking to attract men. However, from the picture postings your body is really nice for a woman your age. If you encountered a random individual I think the person would think you're a lot younger which is also probably your mindset. I definitely would not recommend baggy anything for your body. There is a difference in my mind between tastefully snug/form fitting and bordering on enhancing body parts too much.

[Robertacd]

I am one for blending and dressing your age but I would also have to see the you in outfit before I could pass judgment. I have been surprised about how many compliments I get wearing something that is probably a little too young for me.

Just last Friday I wore a dress just like this with boots out dancing and got lots of compliments.
308578
I you look closely the pattern is roses, skeleton keys, bows, and skull and crossbones, defiantly a little goth/punk for a lady in her 50's but I rocked it. :)

[Tracii G]

I will go out on a limb here maybe your wife knows it looks good on you and doesn't want you to get attention hence the suggestion to wear something baggy.
When your wife tells you something there is most always an ulterior motive in what she says.
I don't know if you two were planning on having a girls night out in public or something but most women want to be the center of attention if other women are present.

[April Rose]

I have found that sizing up tends to make me look slimmer and smaller. Just my two cents.

[lingerieLiz]

Depends on what you are looking for. I will tell you that older women wearing tight dresses is usually not a good idea. I miss not being young with a hot bod. My wife and her friends have moved toward less provocative clothes long ago. Do they look at the clothes and think if only I was younger sure. I hear it on shopping trips all the time. You are in about the same size as I am. I tried on a dress and looked in a mirror I took it off as there is no way I would look good in it. We have one neighbor who wears teen clothes. It is a joke among her neighbors.

[TheHiddenMe]

If it looks good on you, wear it. If not, don't.

You bought it to wear it, right? If it isn't age appropriate, who cares? We're not supposed to be wearing women's clothes anyway.

As to attracting men, does your wife dress nicely to attact men or to dress nicely? I assume it's the latter. The same rules apply to you.

[Majella St Gerard]

I don't go for that "dress your age crap" people that say that can't wear that stuff. I say wear what you like as long as you look good in it and it's appropriate for where you are going.

[Pumped]

I agree. If you can wear it and look decent, then wear it.

My wife is 58 years old, 5'2" and 100 pounds. she can wear about anything. Should she be "required" to wear the same thing the typical 58 year old wears? Most women her age are 50 pounds or more over weight. She will not wear in public what she did years ago, but on the other hand she won't wear sweat pants and sweaters either! She looks good in skinny jeans and tank tops, so why not !

[docrobbysherry]

Angela, u have a mirror. So, I'll let u decide the look u want to wear out and why!:daydreaming:

But, as to age? I'm 76 and this is how I look when I go out!:heehee:
308589

[AngelaYVR]

I think the problem is that we can pad ourselves out to a “younger” silhouette: everything is perkier than it should otherwise be! I would say that if you are being honest with yourself and like your outfits then carry on. If you have doubts, heed them. Personally, I think leggings shouldn’t even exist :eek:

[Connie D50]

Angela First looking back at other post great job losing weight :thumbsup: I saw 3 post with new dresses I feel two where too short again you look great but I agree with your wife, the white with gray and black strips perfect. Connie

[alwayshave]

Angela, If you have the figure to pull it off, wear it.

[BTWimRobin]

I really like the sweater and leggings look. Without a picture I can't tell how tight snug looks. Like the old saying goes .... if ya got it, flaunt it!

[Tracii G]

If you look nice in it wear it.

[Maid_Marion]

A little exercise and I dropped my waist below 25 inches! I have more of an hourglass figure than some young women!

[Angela Marie]

I should have posted a picture so people could be more objective. I attached the photo with the sweater on. Didn't have time for makeup.308593

[Jean 103]

You look fine, but than it is not my opinion that matters.

Your problem is with your wife, and why see objects to the outfit, going out, or whatever.

People have completely different options on fashion and how to represent . Like my roommate, she in her seventies and is stuck in the fifties with her attitude. Her view is completely different than most of my friends that are twenty - thirty years younger.

I do not dress to blend, hide, as far as age appropriate I don't know what that is I've never been this age before.

With my roommate and her family too (when they were visiting) I initially had problems with them questioning my fashion. After going out together and them seeing that they were wrong, they changed their tune.

Yes I get attention, maybe not as much as my seventy something roommate with her silver hair with purple tips. But like my roommate I get positive feedback.

If you don't want to attract attention why not just dress like some average guy, that should do it.

My suggestion would be to dress how you like. The two of you go out together and prove her wrong.

[Di]

I think you should listen to your wife .
Depending on if we were going to a club or just out doing everyday things I would give Sherlyn my opinion because I would want the best for her to fit in. And remember sometimes things look ok on camera or the mirror but the over all look is not good.
So I would think your wife would have your best interest at heart.

[Robertacd]

Well from your little photo you look fine.

[Genifer Teal]

Forget society and norms. Read it as: she's uncomfortable with you looking like that. Do the right thing based on that.

[Ericka_d]

welcome to womanhood. Woman are always that with each other. Even my wife is. In reality I do try to dress my age, and appropriate for what Im doing.

[Tracy Irving]

Your wife is of the opinion that you wearing that particular sweater is not a good idea. Maybe she is helping you, maybe it makes her uncomfortable. The motivation doesn't matter. Listen to her.

When my wife and I are out shopping for clothing for me she has the final say. And, if it is something she would wear (likes a lot), it doesn't go in the cart. Luckily, there is a large variety of women's clothing to choose from and we generally find something we can agree on.

[Cheryl T]

Depends.
If you have the fugure for it then why not?
Just make sure you are not deluding yourself. I know I had a few outfits I think look fabulous, but then I take a picture or the wife comments and I see what others see and go "what was I thinking"?

[char GG]

My guess is that your wife may wonder what your intent is by wearing a sweater that is obviously tight.

Again, I am guessing that she may be trying to help you. Sometimes SO?s can see the reactions (good,bad, indifferent) behind your back.

[Teresa]

Angela,
If you have the figure for it why not wear them , they are your clothes . I have a GG friend who keeps telling me to wear looser clothes , I don't like sloppy sweaters and Tshirts , I guess we had to wear them so much in male mode , at the moment I have the figure so why not , it's a style I prefer .

Is it a case of your wife overreacting or is it she doesn't have the same figure as you ? The other point is do you tell your wife what she can and can't wear ? Most of us don't sp what is so different for us ?

To me the small picture looks fine , I don't get it about wearing something tight is only to attract guys , I wear tight fitting Tshirts with a neat cardigan over and slim fit jeans for my painting class , no one thinks I'm trying to pick up a guy .

[Aunt Kelly]

I don't go for that "dress your age crap"....
Not everyone is a fetish dresser, looking to live their school-girl-**** fantasy. Even fewer shoud, for various reasons even attempt it. So referring to advice to the contrary as "crap" strikes me as, well... crap. If a 60-something crossdresser wants to go out wearing pink wig, plaid miniskirt, white thigh hi's and Mary Jane's, more power to him, but let's not pretend that it's anything other than what it is.

[Jillian Faith]

After looking at the picture I think the sweater is too short to wear with leggings. I think it's fine to go with a skirt or jeans. I would look for a tunic length sweater when wearing tights.

[Jean 103]

Wow,

I didn't see any mentioned of a side show or pride event

Did you get that from the outfit shown?

It's not my taste, but I won't call it fetish dressing.

I would change your outfit a bit. To a cute top under a longer loose fitting cardigan. I think you would be more in step with current fashion.

[Pumped]

Not everyone is a fetish dresser, looking to live their school-girl-**** fantasy. Even fewer shoud, for various reasons even attempt it. So referring to advice to the contrary as "crap" strikes me as, well... crap. If a 60-something crossdresser wants to go out wearing pink wig, plaid miniskirt, white thigh hi's and Mary Jane's, more power to him, but let's not pretend that it's anything other than what it is.

There is a fairly large grey area between wearing pink wig and a school girl skirt in public and something short, tight and in style. Most women I see in their later years think tennis shoes, jeans and a sweat shirt is high fashion.

If you have the body for it wear it!

[AngelaYVR]

The area is not even grey. If the only options are embarrassing school girl outfit and dowdy old lady clothes somebody needs to get out more.

[docrobbysherry]

Angela, thanks for posting a pic of the actual outfit so we can comment on realty. Not just shooting in the dark!:thumbsup:

I don't live anywhere near NY. Out west, women don't go out in tites often. But, when they do they wear a skirt or shorts, too.

I don't see any issue with your outfit being too tite. But, I rarely see women with no hips sporting breasts that big and perky! Maybe if u switched to a smaller size forms or added some hip/butt pads you'd look more presentable to your SO?:daydreaming:

[Sometimes Steffi]

Angela

My wife doesn't want to see me dressed, so she can't object to what I wear. I always dress younger than my age, but I think that I can get away with it.

I'm about your age (66) and I'm 5'9" and 150 lbs. I think that's pretty respectable.

Last Saturday, I felt like wearing a black, faux-leather mini skirt, with boots, cable knit tights and a pink fuzzy top. The first comment I got was from a GG who looked older than me but was probably younger than me. Sh said, "I wish that I could still wear something like that."

I got another comment later that day from a 20 something GG. she said, "That skirt looks wonderful on you."

Is a faux leather mini skirt too young for me? By a unanimous vote of 2 - 0, the answer is "No."

Do want makes you feel good. i do.

[Majella St Gerard]

I say, if you look good in it wear it. Now some people obviously have no style, you can't help that. I wear things that are flattering to my figure and appropriate for the venue I will be in.
Wearing a skintight dress with a big belly is not my style.
Age has nothing to do with it.
Some people want to look like grandma, not me.
Some people cover their body in a latex body suit and a mask.
Rant over.

[ReineD]

I have the same attitude as your wife! :)

Even if a woman near or past retirement age is fortunate enough to have the same body as a 25-yr-old in good shape (which is rare), I think it looks odd for her to dress the same way she would in her younger, child-bearing years, when she would be fully justified in dressing to attract a male. You don't want to give the impression you are a faded beauty queen, trying too hard to hang on to youth. Besides, younger men wouldn't look twice at a retirement age woman no matter how she is dressed. I admire women who age gracefully. They know and are proud of who they are and what they've learned and accomplished in life and they no longer feel the need to overdo the makeup and show off the wares as if they are actively trying to seduce men.

I like to illustrate my points with images if I can and so I have in mind two examples from films, of faded older women trying to look young - and they look quite tragic. There is way too much contrast in how they try to appear and their actual age, and the combination is jarring. You might even say they make laughing stocks of themselves. In the movie Zorba The Greek (one of my favorite movies of all time), there is an aging actress Madame Hortense (https://live.staticflickr.com/5064/5657072690_3f8fdab7f5.jpg), played by Lila Kedrova. And then in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, there is another aging star, Baby Jane (https://a.ltrbxd.com/resized/sm/upload/ud/fp/pc/n2/what-ever-happened-to-baby-jane-1200-1200-675-675-crop-000000.jpg?k=90273eb80d) (played by Bette Davis).

I know that my examples are characters in older, black and white movies, but in my opinion, any older woman wearing snug sweaters produces a similar effect, depending on how snug is the sweater. If your wife said something then it might be too snug. Or maybe not long enough. She knows.


I will go out on a limb here maybe your wife knows it looks good on you and doesn't want you to get attention hence the suggestion to wear something baggy.
When your wife tells you something there is most always an ulterior motive in what she says.
I don't know if you two were planning on having a girls night out in public or something but most women want to be the center of attention if other women are present.

OMG Tracii, you must think we are all petty, jealous creatures! I have tons of female friends and not one of us want to be the center of attention, ever, especially in the age group we're talking about here. Granted, in a group of very young women who are all trying to attract men, there might be some competition. Or if a woman's marriage is not secure and she's at a party, worrying that her husband might be attracted to another woman, then she might try her best to be more attractive than the other woman. But I don't think this is Angela's wife's situation?


Personally, I think leggings shouldn?t even exist :eek:

LOL I agree, but that's because a lot of people don't know how to wear leggings AND be stylish, which necessitates knowing how to balance things properly. The idea is to show off one thing at a time, in this case, legs. Not legs and the butt and boobs all at once. This is way too much. Leggings can look great in the fall with tall boots if the sweater is long enough, and IMO they look especially stylish with a big scarf. I found an article on this with lots of pictures.

https://www.brightontheday.com/sweaters-you-can-wear-with-leggings/ (https://www.brightontheday.com/sweaters-you-can-wear-with-leggings/)

[CayleeMarie]

Wow so many observations... so here?s my two cents worth too. Here?s what works for my wife and me. We are both on the top side of 50 and skinny jeans leggings, leggings, form fitting tops work for us. She has, over the last 14 months, lost a lot of weight and no longer wants to hide the ?fat girl? that she used to be. When shopping for me, she usually encourages clothes that are more form fitting.

As noted by others when wearing leggings, the top should generally cover at least most of the butt more like a tunic top. That sweater would be fine with a pair of skinny jeans though.

Keep in mind too, that while she may be okay with your dressing, subconsciously few women want to be upstaged by their hotter husbands. Ultimately you have to find what works for you in the context of your relationship. Leggings and form fitting sweaters and tops are less age restrictive if you have the figure for it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Angela :hugs:, Discretion is the better part of Valor. >Orchid .oO:daydreaming:Oo.

[MonicaPVD]

The fact that your wife is accepting of your affinity for going out dressed is a tell tale sign that she is someone you should listen to. Just because you feel 18 doesn't mean you are. What you are is an incredibly fortunate person to have an understanding wife.

[Aunt Kelly]

The area is not even grey. If the only options are embarrassing school girl outfit and dowdy old lady clothes somebody needs to get out more.

It's actually nothing but gray. If you want to wear that Lolita look to the mailbox or the mall, fine. Just be realistic enough to own it... and the ridicule that is likely to follow.
I am an old lady, but no one would describe my wardrobe as dowdy, nor do I draw undue attention to myself. You know. Kinda like almost every other woman my age. We wouldn't be caught dead wearing that schoolgirl outfit in public, but calling us dowdy borders on ridiculous.

[Angela Marie]

I want to thank everyone for their comments. It did help crystalize my decision. I think I am going to tone it down a bit; perhaps with leggings and a longer sweater.