Unexpected but great advice.

[Maria 60]

It was a hecktic week and I was going for a Maria drive to relief some stress and get out of my male self for a little while. I was just about to leave and I kissed my wife goodbye and as always thanked her for being so understanding, she asked me to sit down. I asked her what was wrong, she just wanted to remind me that it's close to Christmas and there are more police on the road and they have spot checks set up around. She told me not to do anything crazy and to drive to my best and if I end up getting trapped in one that I shouldn't try to turn around or panic and to just relax and present properly and answer whatever question the officers ask me. She suggested that I don't undress while driving half way home as usual because she didn't want me to be half dressed if I did get pulled over and that would look wierd but to undress when I got home in the garage. I thanked her for the what I thought was great advice and asked her if she was worried that maybe she preferred I don't go out. She explained that she was just reminding me to be safe and not to take it the wrong way and would prefer I go because it is like therapy to me. Again I thanked her and now I just got home and thank God I didn't find any spot checks but there was more police on the road then usual.
I thought it was great advice and as much as I know we all try to be safe when we are out, but thought I would share just as a reminder.

[Rhonda Darling]

A point well taken. Thank you and your wonderful wife.

[Tracii G]

I think her advice was very wise and you we wise to heed that advice.

[Helen_Highwater]

Maria,

Such good advice. I'd add stay away from alcohol. Even the smell of one beer on your breath gives the law a way in to pursue further questioning.

You know what, I think that's not so much an SO you have there, more a guardian angel.

[Kendra Sue]

Maria,
You have a very special wife

[NancySue]

I/we totally agree. Great advice for all of us. I, too, love to go out for drives dressed...very positive therapeutic feelings. We also, in addition to being seen, worry about a flat tire, fender bender, etc. We live in a small community where everyone?s business is everyone else?s.

[Stephanie47]

Before I go out for an evening drive and stroll I make sure all my car lights are working. Although I am sure the police in my locale are very professional it would be unnerving just because professional behavior does not confer acceptance of a cross dresser. Usually when it comes to a burnt out headlight or taillight the officer will tell the driver to get the light fixed because the next time an officer stops you and sees too much time has gone by, the officer will issue a citation. Even if the interaction is professional an officer does have the ability to enter a note on the driver's record. One of my acquaintances had a positive interaction entered on his driving record for assisting an officer with hauling a car out of a ditch with his tractor. It let him slide on a ticket. I digressed too much.

I also make sure I do not consume any alcohol before going out. I do not want any alcohol on my breath. Again, there is always the professional non accepting officer out there who may decide to give a driver a field sobriety test. I would not want to try to walk a straight line in three inch heels or ruin my stockings on the roadway.

Of course, Maria's wife is correct. Anytime you get caught in line for a spot check and turn around, you're going to get pursued. It's assumed you're going to fail whatever the inquiry may be about.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Such good advice. I'd add stay away from alcohol. Even the smell of one beer on your breath gives the law a way in to pursue further questioning.

I go out and about occasionally, but I don't dress and drive.

I did pass through an sobriety checkpoint on the return drive from a trip. I was asked if I had any alcohol that night. I was honest and told him that I had one drink 6 hours ago. He let me pass. Fortunately, I had changed into drab before leaving the event.

I would hate to try to pass the toe-heel walking sobriety test in heels. I can't even pass it in male mode. I have a medical problem that affects my balance. In fact, I even have a doctor's note in my car as a "get out of jail free" card.

And, one more thing. Don't have any open bottles of alcohol, even empty ones. In some states, an open bottle of alcohol is grounds for a DUI arrest, notwithstanding your sobriety

[Kendra Sue]

I've seen the tests they give. I don't think I could walk backwards, walk heel to toe or say the alpabet backwards even if I was dead sober

[Leslie Langford]

Your wife's advice was spot-on, Maria, and I can vouch for that from personal experience.

Some years ago, I was returning home from a theatrical performance in downtown Toronto which had taken place just before Christmas, and which I had attended in full "Leslie" mode. It was around 11:30 P.M. at night when I left the theatre, and as I turned my car into the side street at the exit of the parking garage where I had left it, I suddenly came face-to-face with a police sobriety checkpoint (known locally as the "R.I.D.E." Program) which was in full swing further on down the road.

Of course, my first inclination was to simply turn around to avoid it, but I also realized equally quickly that doing so would simply incriminate me and put me squarely on the radar screen of the police for a further, more in-depth investigation. And so, I just gritted my teeth and proceeded onward to accept whatever fate (or negative reactions) might be in store for me. And do you know what happened? Nothing...zilch, zip, nada!

As I slowed down upon reaching the actual checkpoint and rolled down my car's window, a police officer approached me, "Ma'am-ed" me, and politely asked if I had been drinking that night. As I was responding in the negative, he slowly inched forward, putting his head through the open window until he was about 6" from my face...obviously to check for any traces of alcohol on my breath. Satisfied by my answer and his mini-test, he wished me a good night and sent me on my way. Talk about a heart-stopping moment and a true test of "passability" (or is that "blending in"...I never found out for sure). And thank goodness that I had had a professional makeover earlier that day, and that my make up was still holding up at that point! :eek: :heehee: Either way, it was a truly professional encounter, and in the end, I had nothing to fear whatsoever.

As others here have stated in related posts, it appears that most police forces (especially in urban centers) have had the necessary sensitivity and diversity training that even if they encounter someone who is obviously LGBTQ, they will treat them with the same courtesy and respect as any other member of society barring any involvement of real (or perceived) criminal activity on their part.

[NicoleRenee]

Very good advice! My SO has done kinda the same thing although she was with me. Just act natural. I have yet to go out by myself and have thought about situations. So I carry male clothes in case something happens or need to change.

[Genifer Teal]

A trained officer can tell everything he needs to know from the "follow the light" eye test.

[Robertacd]

Yeah don't be that guy on Cops that was driving the pick up truck. The cop was going to pull them over for a burned out tail light. But the guy wouldn't pull over. After several other cops joined the chase he finally pulled over. The cops rush the truck and pull out a crossdresser who is crying "I just want to take off my makeup first", and hauled them away.

What probably would have been nothing more than an embarrassing warning became an "eluding" charge and he went to jail crossdressed!

Think about that.

- - - Updated - - -

BTW: cops are trained to deal with it, so don't think you have to be presenting as your male self to a cop that asked for your driver's license

[Alice Torn]

She was so right. This time of year, people are more stressed out than any other time! Peace on earth, goodwill to men?! Not much on the roads! Seriously, I am living on borrowed time, as I was spared being T boned, by a truck much bigger than my pick up a few weeks ago, at nighttime. I made a left turn onto a two lane highway here, and just did not see the truck, until is swerved hard left, to miss me by only inches. Be extra careful, whether all dolled up, or male clothes!!! My second time out ever, i was pulled over by a small town cop. He was very professional, and said he was not concerned about how i was dressed. just wndered why i was walking around late at night, and that my driving was nervous. Me nervous?! Yes i was.