Please tell me how...

[Amanduhrob]

After reading Girly Sara's post about frustration
Here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=26572)

I felt the need to start this thread and ask how I could compliment some of my female customers at the video store, without coming across as the "weird creepy guy at the video store"?

I have quite a few women who have their nails done, or wearing heels come into the store, which surprises me a bit, this is a very small town.

I'd love to be able to compliment them on their manicures, or choice of polish, without any chance of them taking it the wrong way, and 1) Never come back &/or 2) Report me to the Store Manager for any perceived harassment.

I've built up quite a large group of regulars with my movie recommendations, and I'd hate to lose the rapport I've managed to build up.

[Joy Carter]

They will Clock you in a minute men are not suposed to notice things like that ,if you want to keep them comming back never bring up any thing of a personal nature. Just be personable and a gentelman (Yuck) I know I have to choke it down to some times.

[Yes I am]

They'll probably just assume you're gay, I don't know, maybe we shouldn't let our perceptions of others' potential perceptions of us deter us from being complimentary and polite.

[Sharon]

Nonsense. Just say "hey, nice nails" or "cool color" and don't slobber all over them and you'll be a hit. Girls love to be complimented, as long as you aren't creepy about it.

[Breanne]

Nonsense. Just say "hey, nice nails" or "cool color" and don't slobber all over them and you'll be a hit. Girls love to be complimented, as long as you aren't creepy about it.
I agree, keep it general, just don't go into the finest details and they will just adore your compliments.

[Jennaie]

Joy, I think I will disagree with you on this. I think that women as well as myself, love to be complimented. I think any compliment that is in good taste is appreciated.


Women don't know how much a paticular man knows about feminne attire. Now I would not go saying something like "I absolutely love those pauly's your wearing, but I would not hesitate to say to a woman something like, "I think your nail polish is a very good color on you" or "That's a very nice outfit you're wearing".

I would not do this as a habit with all the women, but when I see a woman who stands out I do not hesitate to compliment her. She deserves it.

At work, with my co-workers, I never compliment women on how they look or how they dress. The workplace is a different world in America and an man knows that if she is not attracted to him, a compliment can lead to trouble.
I read once in a womans magazine that many woman "miss" being complimented in the workplace. Such is life.

With customers I feel it is different. I used to manage a convience store and I never hesitated to compliment a woman who stood out to me. I never encountered a problem with doing so.

Jennaie :be:

[SherriePall]

Yes. I guess we're all in a quandary about this. Many times I have wanted to say something nice about a GG's hair or nails, etc., but stopped short for several reasons. One of them being that they might wonder about my interest in those types of things.

[GypsyKaren]

I compliment women all the time, pretty outfit, hair bracelet and such, and all I've ever gotten back is a thank you and a smile. I can tell for some it really makes their day. I remember the last time someone said something nice to me about my pink sneakers when I was out dressed, it made me feel real good too.

Karen

[kathy gg]

I know you did not direct this question to the gg's, but I hope you don't mind me giving you my thoughts...

I think about 99% of women would find it flattering and who knows, you might make their day..but there is always that 1% who thinks every man in the world is hitting on them {even when the guy is not} and get all upset.

It woudl nto be worth rsiking a complaint over, but I prefer to err on the side of caution.

I hate to say this but we normally dont' compliment men. Spouses, dads, brothers, for sure... brother-in-law maybe...but men we meet through work or fun activites...just dont' do that. At least regarding appearance. I might tell a guy he has a nice backhand {I play tennis} but I would be very worried to say a personal appearance compliment to a man who was not my husband. I suppose we dont' do this becaue alot of guys will take that to mean we are attracted in some way to them. It is a shame, because even as a female I have seen men who I think look well dressed or have a nice smile and really {as a girl} we just can't, least it be taken the wrong way.

0.02

[Debbie Kong]

I work in the Hospitality business and frequently deal with guests, usually solving problems they've encountered with their accomodations. Whenever the guest I'm coming to the aid of is a woman I will look for something that I can compliment her on. Nice hair is the first thing I go for. Most seem flattered and take it in a positive manner. The rest remain aloof, already aware of and comfortable with their sense of style. They are used to such compliments.

In the early '80's I worked at a Sheraton Hotel in Calgary. At one point all of the employees there went through a short training session on helping guests feel good about themselves. Sincere greetings and small compliments on appearance, also known as "Warm Fuzzies", are a way of helping that person "Have a Good Day!" and hopefully incite them to return.

Outside of the workplace I will give compiments to strangers when I can't contain myself. Mostly about hair. Who knows? You might be the only person who does give them a compliment about something they are proud of. I say go for it and damn the smart bombs!

Debbie ( Who enjoys a rare compliment herself.) Kong

[Janelle Young]

I complement women on things I like all of the time. This is in a retail environment like a bank teller or a cashier. If a woman has nice nails or good looking hair I will tell her I like it. All I have ever gotten is a thank you and sometimes a little story about how she picked that color out.

I think that if you say it in passing and are not obsessed over it you will be fine. Like a 'hello oh nice color nails, will that be all?' Or maybe a 'hi I could not help noticing your shoes, I think my wife would look great in a style like that.' You could even go past that and ask where she got them. Maybe the GG's could help here but I do not think any girl would be offended with this.

[Jodi]

When I worked in the store, I was constantly complimenting women on something, ie a great bag, great shoes, Like your hair, you have beautiful eyes, etc. If a compliment is given sincerely and quickly with a warm smile, it will be taken as a compliment and appreciated. Sincereity is the byword.

Jodi

[Leigh Davis]

Nonsense. Just say "hey, nice nails" or "cool color" and don't slobber all over them and you'll be a hit. Girls love to be complimented, as long as you aren't creepy about it.

Oh . . . and don't say it with a lisp or with a Darth Vader voice.

[Amanduhrob]

Thank you all for replying, and Kathy, GG's input is always welcome here, thank you.

The funny thing is, I joke around with my customers, tell them not to rent terrible movies, recommend movies they would probably like, and generally have a good time interacting with them. But I really have a mental block when it comes to complimenting GG's on their choice of wardrobe, or cosmetics.

[Adrienne Heels]

I complemented a GG I saw in TJ Maxx today and she seemed really pleased....I was in drab at the time.

[Jennaie]

I know you did not direct this question to the gg's, but I hope you don't mind me giving you my thoughts...

I think about 99% of women would find it flattering and who knows, you might make their day..but there is always that 1% who thinks every man in the world is hitting on them {even when the guy is not} and get all upset.

It woudl nto be worth rsiking a complaint over, but I prefer to err on the side of caution.

I hate to say this but we normally dont' compliment men. Spouses, dads, brothers, for sure... brother-in-law maybe...but men we meet through work or fun activites...just dont' do that. At least regarding appearance. I might tell a guy he has a nice backhand {I play tennis} but I would be very worried to say a personal appearance compliment to a man who was not my husband. I suppose we dont' do this becaue alot of guys will take that to mean we are attracted in some way to them. It is a shame, because even as a female I have seen men who I think look well dressed or have a nice smile and really {as a girl} we just can't, least it be taken the wrong way.

0.02


I think I understand this,

I remember many years ago, I loved to ice skate. I was a figure skater and I was very good at it. I skated almost every day for 3 years. One evening when I had just finished my routine, I came off the ice and walked into the snack bar for a cup of coffee. A very attractive woman came to my table and sat down, saying, "I really enjoyed watching you skate this evening". Being very shy, young and dumb, I replied,'thank you, but there are several who are much better than me". She looked me in the eyes and said, "that may be true, but I enjoyed watching you". I was almost blushing at this point and did not know how to respond so I ask her if she was here with her children and she said yes, with her little girl. I have no idea to this date if she was attracted to me or just paying me a compliment and I was too stupid to look and see if she was wearing a wedding ring.

It was a very nice compliment but I was confused as to whether or not she was attracted to me or just paying me a compliment.

Jennaie :be:

[Mitzi]

I don't hesitate complimenting women friends if their hair/clothing is especially becoming on them, but never shoes or nails. I will even compliment strangers if they look really nice. Invariably, I get a smile and a thank you. My sense is that they like how they look and appreciate others noticing, especially a guy.

Never thought about it before, but women seldom, if ever, compliment men they don't know. But they do flirt:cheeky:...

Mitzi

[Joy Carter]

I deal with the public and I'm going to be professtional about it commenting on anything over and above business will get you into trouble. But if I'm out and about and run into someone who is worthy of a comment then I agree. When you represent a company then you need to keep your mind on business not the cutomers appearance. You could loose customes or worse get fired